- Bert Banner: Have you two gentlemen ever wondered about the exciting world of male escorts?
- Samuel 'Screech' Powers: Uh... no.
- [in a small-town jail cell]
- Herb: Hi, I'm Herb.
- Zack Morris: I'm Zack.
- Herb: What are you fellas in for?
- Zack Morris: Nothing. It's all a big mistake.
- Herb: Me too.
- Slater: What did they get you for?
- Herb: I went for a drive with my wife. Is that a crime?
- Zack Morris: Of course not. They arrested you for that? What did your wife say?
- Herb: Nothing. She was riding in the trunk.
- [creeped out, Zack, Slater and Screech back away from Herb]
- Ray: [to the guys] And they call me a psycho.
- Bert Banner: Do you, Zach Morris and Kelly Kapowski, promise to love honor and cherish, in health and sickness, in sickness and death, in death and rigor mortis, and to come back and wander the earth as zombies? Just say I do.