Dynasty (1981–1989)

Joan Collins: Alexis Carrington Colby, Alexis, Alexis Carrington

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Kirby : You bitch.

  Alexis : If I am, take a lesson from me. You may need it in life.

• Alexis : [while trapped in a burning cabin with Krystle]  This is all your fault! Everytime you come into my life something terrible happens to me!

• Alexis : [Alexis standing by the ladies' room]  Krystle. The typing pool's on the first floor, are you lost?

  Krystle : I always know where I belong, Alexis. But that's the ladies' room. Are you lost?

• Alexis : [as Sable is being restrained from attacking her]  Look at her. She's like a rabid bitch.

• Alexis : I don't care whether your relationship with Dex is personal or professional, Dex is mine, in the boardroom and in the bedroom.

  Lady Ashley Mitchell : Bought and paid for, Alexis?

  Alexis : I've never had to pay for it, Ashley. Have you?

• Dominique Deveraux : Alexis!

  Alexis : What do you want?

  Dominique Deveraux : I've heard you don't care for my singing.

  Alexis : That's right. It's the truth that hurts.

  Dominique Deveraux : The truth? I hope you say that when I sue you in court for libel.

  Alexis : Oh, you'd only make a fool of yourself, Dominique. Everyone knows you're nothing but a... second-rate lounge act.

  Dominique Deveraux : I don't care what you say to my face, you viper! Retract this or I'll cram it down your throat!

  Alexis : Will you?

  [slaps newspaper out of Dominique's hand] 

• Alexis : I know what's wrong with you... The empty armed Madonna, mourning the baby that she couldn't have and the baby that she almost got to adopt... Gone now... That is it, isn't it?

  Krystle : You miserable bitch!

  [Pushes Alexis into a nearby pond and they both fall in] 

• Dex : Well, now that we know we have something in common we can do business together.

  Alexis : I don't like the word "common," Mr. Dexter.

• Dex : [after catching Alexis with another man]  And I told you I hadn't slept with any type after I'd met you.

  Alexis : So what?

  Dex : After I'd fallen in love with you. Except I didn't know that what I'd fallen for was a SLUT! A slut with the morals of a dog in perpetual heat.

  [Alexis slaps him and he slaps her back] 

• Alexis : [shouting as Dex leaves her]  You overrated cowboy. You thought you owned me? Well, nobody owns Alexis!

• Dex : So therefore I figured we could break breadsticks together and talk about what really goes on behind closed doors.

  Alexis : That's what closed doors are for to keep out the curious.

• Dominique Deveraux : Alexis, I didn't thank you for your present.

  Dominique Deveraux : [she slaps Alexis] 

  Alexis : [rubbing her newly slapped cheek]  It is he you should slap, my dear... not I.

• Alexis : [to Krystle]  I just can't wait for the day when I see you walking out of this house carrying the same two cheap plastic suitcases that you walked in here with.

• Dex : Where are you going?

  Alexis : Home. Nobody takes me to the cleaners and to bed in the same day, Mr. Dexter. Good night.

• Alexis : You're so terribly out of touch Blake. So terribly misguided in your thinking. My company can afford to plant daisies in that acerage. So I'm afraid that my offer for your process is zero.

  Blake : Don't you try to bluff me Alexis.

  Alexis : I don't have to bluff you Blake. Gone are the days when you were king of my fate, when you exiled me from my children and threw me out of Denver.

• Alexis : [With a basktet of cut roses]  I-I had uh, Tony cut these for me for a still life that I'm planning to paint.

  Blake : No need to apologize and no need to lie either Alexis.

  Alexis : Lie?

  Blake : Tony has the day off. Paul is handeling the gardens.

  Alexis : Oh, Blake... In the good times, and there were alot of good times, you use to forgive me my fibs... I mean, my little fibs.

• Neal McVane : Alexis. Well, I'm glad to see you're still among us.

  Alexis : Are you?

  Neal McVane : I'm not really glad, you understand. But it is the civilized thing to say, isn't it?

• Alexis : Why did you buy my hotel?

  Sable Colby : But that's what Pavilian Resorts does, darling. It acquires run-down properties that have been poorly maintained, like yourself.

  Alexis : Funny. Your husband, the one who dumped you for your younger sister, didn't find me poorly maintained.

• Alexis : You are so amazingly vindictive. Did you really buy this entire hotel just to evict me?

  Sable Colby : Of course not, darling. Getting rid of you is just part of the UPgrading process.

• Sable Colby : Hello, Alexis. Glad to see you've uh... sobered up.

  Alexis : And now my hangover's arrived.

• Krystle : What are you talking about?

  Alexis : I'm talking about a woman who has done everything in her power to alienate my daughter from me. Namely you.

  Krystle : Alienate? That's a word they invented for you, Alexis.

• Alexis : But I want you to know that I forgive you, Krystle. Particularly about that little contretemps in my studio.

  Krystle : In my world, we call it a fight. A good, dirty, no-holds barred catfight.

• Alexis : Nine months, are you pregnant?

  Krystle : Yes.

  Alexis : Congratulations.

  Krystle : Thank you.

  Alexis : Not that it's all that special. I mean, even worms can procreate.

• Alexis : Dex, why don't you just forget about business for a moment. Hmm?

  Dex : [removes Alexis' towel]  This may take longer than a moment.

  Alexis : I certainly hope so.

• Alexis : Dominique. Wasn't there a singing nun by that name?

  Dominique Deveraux : If there was, you'd better start praying to her.

• Dominique Deveraux : [after a viscous catfight]  Anytime... anytime you want more of the same, I'll be waiting for you!

  Alexis : And I'll be waiting for you to tell the world what a no-talent has-been you are!

• [to Blake] 

  Alexis : You're at somebody else's mercy now. You're finally getting a taste of your own medicine- and when it becomes to bitter for you, when you start to cough and choke on it, then you'll be back, to accept the only offer that I'm ever going to make! I have an appointment Blake. You know the way out.

• Dex : You have managed to say no every time we've met. You said no to Tar Sands. You said no to dinner.

  Alexis : Well, you seem to thrive on rejection.

• Dex : Unless we make a deal now, in another five minutes, the offer goes to 70-30. If I were you, I would take advantage of the sale price.

  Alexis : Oh, I never buy anything on sale, Mr. Dexter.

• Dominique Deveraux : I almost felt... sorry for you.

  Alexis : Hmm. Save your pity, Dominique. You're going to need it for yourself.

• Amanda Bedford Carrington : Well, whatever it is, maybe I can give him something you never could.

  Alexis : And what, pray, is that? Immaturity, post-adolescent passion? Take it from me Dex loves real women not pale imitations.

• Alexis : I'm sorry to disappoint you Neal but if you came here to see me squirm, you're out of the cab fare that it took you to get here. Or did you have to walk?

• Alexis : I've come to make peace, Blake.

  Blake : Oh, really? Did you check your hatchet with my secretary outside?

• Sable Colby : Don't flatter yourself. You never had a relationship with Jason.

  Alexis : Actually, you're right. That's true. It was more like... a fling. But it was terribly romantic. He was mad about me. Remember?

• Alexis : I'm not much of a one for one-night stands.

  Creighton Boyd : Actually, I'll be in Paris at least two nights.

• Sammy Jo Dean Carrington : In case you've forgotten Danny is my son.

  Alexis : Yes, I know. Poor little thing. That's a cross he'll just have to bear. Excuse me.

  Sammy Jo Dean Carrington : I can't really blame Steven for moving out on you and taking Danny. At least I know you won't be able to contaminate my child with your conniving and your lying and your dirty ways.

  Alexis : [laughs]  Dirt seems to be the big word in your vocabulary, Sammy Jo. You grew up on the road with racing cars and dirt. You modeled through all those dirty magazines. You're covered in it.

  Sammy Jo Dean Carrington : If that were true all I would need is a bath. But with your track record Alexis what you need to do is stand naked in a rainstorm. For a week.

  Alexis : [scoffs]  You trashy little tramp!

  [attempts to slap but Sammy Jo catches her hand] 

• Alexis : [both sipping champagne]  Where is the frownless charmer that I threw pillows at all those years ago?

  Cecil Colby : When you were as incredible-looking as you are now.

  Alexis : Oh, two sips and listen to you.

• Alexis : Hello, Sammy Jo. I'm afraid that your maid let me in because I had lied and said I was a friend of yours.

  Sammy Jo Dean Carrington : Well, that's a very big lie.

• Alexis : [seeing Dex and Dominique in an embrace]  Well, I always knew where you kept your conscious.