- Rafael Acosta: You're much better suited for making love than for making war. Vamos, muchacha. Vamos.
- [François Thévenot has unknowingly interrupted an illicit rendezvous between his wife and Rafael Acosta]
- M. Thévenot: Coming home with me?
- Simone Thévenot: Yes.
- Rafael Acosta: No, no, wait. Let her stay just two minutes more. I must show her the sursiks.
- M. Thévenot: What?
- Rafael Acosta: The sursiks.
- M. Thévenot: Ah, yes. I'll wait in the car.
- Simone Thévenot: I'll come right away.
- [François Thévenot leaves]
- Simone Thévenot: What are sursiks?
- Rafael Acosta: I don't know. It doesn't matter. Come quick!
- [Bishop Dufour is being introduced to the ambassador from Miranda]
- Bishop Dufour: I'm delighted to meet you. We have an important mission in Bogota.
- Rafael Acosta: Bogota is in Colombia.
- Bishop Dufour: That's right, Colombia. Sorry, I got mixed up. I've never been to Miranda, but I hear it is a magnificent country: the Great Cordillera, the pampas...
- Rafael Acosta: The pampas are in Argentina, monsignor.
- Bishop Dufour: The pampas. Of course. I should've known that. Recently I saw a book on Latin America. There were photos of your ancient pyramids.
- Rafael Acosta: Our pyramids? We have no pyramids in Miranda. Mexico and Guatemala have pyramids. We don't.
- Bishop Dufour: You're sure?
- Rafael Acosta: Absolutely.
- [the Senechals are preparing to make love. There is a knock at the door]
- Henri Sénéchal: What is it?
- Ines: The guests are here, sir.
- Henri Sénéchal: Tell them we'll be down. Serve them drinks.
- Alice Sénéchal: They can wait five minutes. Come on.
- Henri Sénéchal: No, no, not here. We can't.
- Alice Sénéchal: But why?
- Henri Sénéchal: You scream too loud. You know it.
- Colonel: Marijuana isn't a drug. Look at what goes on in Vietnam. From the general down to the private, they all smoke.
- Simone Thévenot: As a result, once a week they bomb their own troops.
- Colonel: If they bomb their own troops, they must have their reasons.
- Henri Sénéchal: Any news from Miranda?
- Rafael Acosta: Yes.
- Henri Sénéchal: The situation?
- Rafael Acosta: Quite calm.
- Henri Sénéchal: And the guerrillas?
- Rafael Acosta: There are a few left. They are a part of our folklore.
- Alice Sénéchal: You have problems with the students?
- Rafael Acosta: Students are young. They must have some fun.
- Simone Thévenot: How's your government treating them?
- Rafael Acosta: We are not against the students, but what can you do with a room full of flies? You take a fly-swatter and Bang! Bang!
- Rafael Acosta: If I weren't your guest tonight, I would demand satisfaction.
- Colonel: I didn't realize that such customs of chivalry still existed in your country of half savages.
- Rafael Acosta: Monsieur, you've just insulted the Republic of Miranda.
- Colonel: If you ask me, the Republic of Miranda is one great big dunghill.
- Rafael Acosta: And me? I shit on your army. Every last soldier.
- Peasant: Father? I want to tell you something.
- Bishop Dufour: Then tell me, my child.
- Peasant: I really don't like Jesus Christ. Even as a little girl I hated him.
- Bishop Dufour: Such a good, gentle God? How is it possible?
- Peasant: Want to know why?
- Bishop Dufour: Let me tend to this sick man first, then we'll talk.
- M. Thévenot: That's my wife in your bedroom?
- Rafael Acosta: Yes. She's only been here for a few minutes.
- M. Thévenot: That's odd.
- M. Thévenot: Dry martinis for everyone? There isn't a better tranquilizer than a dry martini. I read it in a woman's magazine. Leave it to me, I'll prepare it. Ah, unfortunately these glasses aren't really right at all. Fashions have changed. The ideal for a dry martini is a traditional cone-shaped glass.
- Florence: Here it is.
- M. Thévenot: Yes. Yes, that's about it. The most important thing is the ice. It has to be of first-rate quality. Very cold and very hard. About 15 degrees centigrade below zero. Exactly like this one.
- Rafael Acosta: In our hearts, we have the same ideals. The bomb and pollution, for example. You're against them. Well, so am I. You're in favor of free love. So am I.
- Rafael Acosta: Finally, if you think about it, the only solution to starvation and poverty is in the hands of the army. You'll realize it in Miranda, when you have to open your pretty thighs to an infantry battalion.
- Rafael Acosta: Oh, no, no, no, no. I don't agree at all. If Mao said that, it means he didn't understand Freud.
- Henri Sénéchal: The ambassador's a charming man. I don't under...
- Colonel: The ambassador's a cad and I treated him like one!
- Rafael Acosta: There are a few isolated cases, like everywhere. But today, we have a. true democratic government. Corruption has totally vanished.
- M. Thévenot: Let's start with the wine, shall we?
- Alice Sénéchal: Yes!
- Simone Thévenot: Well, that depends on what we order.
- M. Thévenot: Now what do you like, madame? I like burgundy.
- Alice Sénéchal: Oh, burgundy. Burgundy.
- M. Thévenot: Well, to tell the truth, even if I eat oysters or fish, I prefer red wine. So.
- Simone Thévenot: Snails cha.blisienne.
- Alice Sénéchal: Oh, I simply hate snail.
- Simone Thévenot: Yeah?
- M. Thévenot: I wouldn't mind having a rabbit pâté; but, uh, in these restaurants, I think it's always too salty. So.
- Rafael Acosta: Look, they've got melon.
- Alice Sénéchal: Oh, that's a good idea. I'll have melon with port.
- M. Thévenot: I wouldn't mind some caviar, but I'm afraid it won't be the best quality and they'll give tiny portions. I'd prefer my own little brand.
- Rafael Acosta: Is there any fish on the menu? I'm very fond of fish.
- Simone Thévenot: Oh, well, they've got great sardines and filet of sole and fried codfish, and also buttered skate and quenelles of pike and grilled lobster.
- Alice Sénéchal: The place isn't very expensive. It's not expensive and there's nobody here. That's rather odd.
- Florence: You think so? Well, I think I'll skip the melon, and instead I'll have a dry martini, if you don't mind.
- Simone Thévenot: Out of the question. It's red wine or nothing. So there.
- M. Thévenot: And a good bottle of Crémant to warm us up, huh?