- Marine: [tapping him on the shoulder] Pardon me, Mr. Woods.
- Joe Woods: [without turning round] Yeah?
- Marine: I'm with the Marine outfit that's backing the show and I, I hear the Navy is taking your leading man tonight.
- Joe Woods: Don't worry about it, I'll get another.
- Marine: I know. That's what I wanted to talk to you about, Sir. You see, I was wondering if, maybe you could er... what I mean to say is, you see I used to be with the circus once and friends of mine think that I have great deal of, well I don't mean to sound conceited, I was...
- Joe Woods: [he turns to look] Sorry son, I know talent the minute it taps me on the shoulder, you just ain't got it, Kid.
- Faye Foss: Gosh, Joe, weren't you a little rough on that boy? I thought he had something.
- Joe Woods: Kindest thing I ever did for him. Never get anywhere in this business. Looks too much like Burt Lancaster.
- Melvin Webster: Mr. Woods, I wrote a play about my childhood - a tragedy. You turned it into a musical comedy. Then you started changing scenes to get in stars. Now it's a ruin - no story, just scenes. We even have a scene of Shanghai to pay off the man who does your laundry.
- Penny Weston: But I wanna be an actress. I don't wanna make people like me just to get their money.
- Joe Woods: Well, that's what every good actress does to every audience.