- Dr. Leonard Gillespie: To be successful in love you've got to be a doggone good liar. I mean it, both before and after marriage.
- Emma Hope: [On phone] Is this Ferguson's Department Store?... Do you carry long, red flannel underwear for women?... Don't tell me it's going to be a cold winter. Send me 35 suits of that underwear with feet in them. This is Miss Emma Hope of the Emma Hope School for Girls and I have 35 young ladies who go ice skating. I'll send you the list of sizes... No, young man, you may not come up and measure the girls yourself.
- Joe Wayman: Oh, he'll never learn nuthin' from me. I know how to keep a secret. I've been here for five years and there's not two people in the joint that suspect I ain't no college graduate.
- Sally, Receptionist: That was Molly Byrd, alright. No one else around here could call me an ignoramus and make me believe it.
- Joe Wayman: Oh, don't let Molly Byrd flatter you, Sally. For the past few days she's been nice to everybody.
- Sally, Receptionist: Joe Wayman, don't you know what an ignoramus means?
- Joe Wayman: Sure I do. Didn't I study Latin in high school? "Ignoro," I love you. "Ignoras," you love me. "Ignoramus," we both love each other.