Way Out West (1937)
Sharon Lynn: Lola Marcel
Quotes
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Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale : Tell me, tell me about my dear, dear Daddy! Is it true that he's dead?
Stan : Well, we hope he is, they buried him.
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Lola Marcel : It can't be. What did he die of?
Stan : I think he died of a Tuesday, or was it a Wednesday?
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Lola Marcel : [shows Finn the deed] Ha - *ha*!
Mickey Finn : Ho - *ho*!
Ollie : [grabs the deed] He - *he*!
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Mickey Finn : Can you do it?
Lola Marcel : [scoffs] Can I do it? For a gold mine, I could be Cleopatra!
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Mickey Finn : [enters room] Lola, Lola, we've got a fortune right in the palm of our hand!
Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale : What do you mean?
Mickey Finn : There's a couple of desert rats downstairs looking for Mary Roberts.
Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale : What about it?
Mickey Finn : They've got a deed to a very valuable gold mine left to her by her father, and they're here to deliver it to her in person.
Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale : Well, ain't that just grand!
Mickey Finn : It would be... if you were Mary Roberts.
Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale : I gotcha, but I'd never get away with it.
Mickey Finn : Sure you would; they've never seen Mary Roberts.
Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale : Then it's a cinch!
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Mickey Finn : [the real Mary knocks at the door] Who's there?
Mary Roberts : Mary.
Stan : Mary who?
Mickey Finn : [nervously] Mary - Merry Christmas. Ohhh...
[opens the door]
Mary Roberts : Excuse me, Mr. Finn, one of these gentlemen dropped this at the foot of the stairs.
Ollie : [takes the deed from her hands, not recognizing her as the real Mary] Oh, oh why thank you, little lady, you don't know what you've done, thanks!
Mickey Finn : [shows Mary out of the room, closing the door] All right, all right, all right.
Ollie : [hands the deed to Lola, unaware that she's pretending to be Mary] There you are: signed, sealed, and now delivered.
Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale : Oh, thank you so much.
Ollie : Not at all.
[Mickey Finn utters a sigh of exhausted relief]
Ollie : Come Stanley, we'd better be going.
Stan : Oh say, what about the locket?
Ollie : That's right I...
Stan : We've got something else for you.
Ollie : I almost forgot it.
[puts on his derby and loosens his necktie]
Ollie : And besides that...
[unbuttons his shirt and takes out the locket]
Ollie : your father left you this family heirloom.
Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale : Oh yes, I - I remember it well.
Ollie : Help me get it off, Stanley.
[Ollie loosens his collar while Stan tries to take the locket chain off of Ollie's neck by pulling it up around his chin]
Stan : Am I hurting you?
Ollie : No, just a minute.
Stan : Won't be long.
[Stan tries again to take the chain off of Ollie]
Stan : Maybe I'd better try and open it again.
Ollie : I think so.
[Stan loosens Ollie's collar to get to the clasp]
Stan : It slipped.
[Stan unbuttons Ollie's shirt]
Stan : Maybe you'd better take your coat off.
Ollie : [starts to take off his coat] Pardon me just a minute.
[Stan removes Ollie's necktie and collar; Ollie takes his suspenders off and the locket falls down his trousers leg to the floor]
Ollie : [Stan reaches up Ollie's back and finds a thread, Ollie breaks the thread and discovers an unraveled undergarment] We'll find it in just a moment.
[Ollie takes off his shirt, and Stan notices the locket on the floor and picks it up]
Ollie : We got it.
[Stan hands the locket to Lola]
Ollie : I'm gonna go in and change, pardon us.
[Ollie goes into the bedroom to put his clothes back on, and Stan follows]
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Stan : [Ollie lays his clothes on the bed, Stan sits down] Say Ollie?
Oliver : What?
Stan : Now that you've got your clothes off, why don't you take a bath?,
Oliver : Would you mind leaving the room? Can't I ever have a little privacy?
Stan : I was just trying to kill two birds with one stone.
Mickey Finn : [in the living room] And I'll take care of those two bozos and get them out of town.
Lola Marcel : [Stan opens the door and overhears Lola talking to Mickey] Don't worry, leave everything to me. I've done pretty good up to now, haven't I?
Stan : You certainly have, I wish you were in my shoes.
Mickey Finn : Eh-hrm, oh how about a drink on the house?
Oliver : That suits me fine.
Stan : How'd you get dressed so quick?
Oliver : None of your business.
[Finn goes to open his front door]
Oliver : Goodbye Miss Roberts, and thanks for the use of your boudoir.
Lola Marcel : You're very welcome.
Stan : Goodbye. Now that you've got the mine, I bet you'll be a swell gold-digger.
[Ollie pushes Stan out the door as Finn leaves the room]
Lola Marcel : [Lola examines the deed as Finn re-enters the room a moment later, hiding the deed behind her back] What did you leave them for?
Mickey Finn : I'll send her right up, you have her sign that deed over to us.
Lola Marcel : Oh, don't worry about me, get those guys out of town, and pronto!
Mickey Finn : All right!
[Finn goes down to the saloon]
Lola Marcel : What a cinch!
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Stan : [Ollie knocks on Mickey Finn's door] Who's there?
Ollie : Me.
Stan : Me, who?
Ollie : [annoyed at Stan's response] "Me, who?"
[Mickey Finn goes to the door, Ollie knocks on his head]
Mickey Finn : Well - What do you want?
Ollie : Out of my way, you snake in the grass!
[Ollie brushes Finn aside]
Stan : You toad in the hole.
[Stan yanks Finn's necktie, Finn kicks Stan in retaliation]
Lola Marcel : Say you slugs, what do you mean busting in here like this?
Stan : We want to know why you are not Mary Roberts.
Ollie : I'll take care of this matter.
Lola Marcel : So you got wise, huh? Well, if it's this deed you're after, you're just out of luck.
[Ollie grabs the deed from Lola, and a chase ensues]
Lola Marcel : Give that back to me!
Ollie : Take it, Stan!
[Ollie pursues Mickey Finn]
Ollie : Beat it!
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Maw : Have you seen my husband?
Barfly : Yeah, there he is, over there.
Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale : [sings] Won't you be my ownsome / My little turtle dove?
Paw - Bearded Miner at Saloon : [starts hugging the miner] Will I?
[laughs, Lola goes back to the stage]
Paw - Bearded Miner at Saloon : Waiter, I want a big bottle of wine, right over here! Come on, bring it over here, this beer's no good!
[the miner's wife confronts him]
Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale : [continues singing] My loving honey man...
Paw - Bearded Miner at Saloon : [closes his eyes, thinking he's kissing Lola] Sweetheart!
[opens his eyes to discover he just kissed his wife, who escorts him out of the saloon]
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Mickey Finn : Splendid. Splendid!
Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale : She fell for it, like you fell for me.
Mickey Finn : Lola, my gal, we're sittin' pretty.