- [on Mel Brooks] A loud kind of Jewish genius--maybe that's as close as you can get to defining him.
- Woody [Woody Allen] makes a movie as if he were lighting 10,000 safety matches to illuminate a city. Each one is a little epiphany: topical, ethnic or political.
- [on the movie Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) to the Daily Telegraph] It's all about money. It's just some people sitting around thinking, "How can we make some more money?" Why else would you remake "Willy Wonka" [Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971)]?
- [on his role in Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask (1972)] And that's not an easy task, being in bed with a sheep, especially if you make the sheep nervous. I'm not going to go on, if you know what I'm talking about.
- I'm not so funny. Gilda [Gilda Radner] was funny. I'm funny on camera sometimes. In life, once in a while. Once in a while. But she was funny. She spent more time worrying about being liked than anything else.
- [on Mel Brooks] We are not interested in polite titters, we want the audience rolling on the floor and falling about. Mel works on his feet -- it's a hit and miss, hit and miss, hit and miss. Then in the editing he will take out the misses!
- [on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005), the remake of his Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971)] I haven't seen it. I like Depp [Johnny Depp], but when I heard they were doing a remake, I heard, "Mistake". When I saw clips on television, and I saw what Depp was doing, I thought, "Don't see that movie--you like Depp too much." I always get comments: "Yours is better". I know they're talking about "Willie Wonka".
- [on his relationship with Richard Pryor] We were never good friends, contrary to popular belief. We turned it on for the camera, then turned it off. He was a pretty unpleasant person to be around during the time we worked together. He was going through his drug problems then and didn't want a friendship outside of what we did on the screen.
- [on being asked to play Willy Wonka] I said, "I'd like to come out with a cane, and be crippled," and I said, "because no one will know from that time on whether I'm lying or telling the truth." And he said, "You mean--if we don't do that, you won't do the part?" And I said, "Yeah, that's what I'm saying." [imitates the producer mumbling to himself] "Okay. Okay. We'll do it." And I, and I meant it, too. Because it was a tricky part. But that element, of "who knows? is he lying, or is he telling the truth?" is what my main motor was. And I liked that; it appealed to me a lot.
- [on Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971)] Well, you know, it wasn't a success when it came out. And I heard some talk about mothers who thought it was cruel to the children. What... what they and everyone else found out later on was that maybe some mothers felt that way, but the children didn't feel that way. The children understood the movie very well. That there are limits. And they want to know the limits. And it's reassuring to know that someone can tell you what the limits are, and that's what Willy Wonka did.
- [on his longtime comedic partnership with Richard Pryor] Silver Streak (1976) was very good, we got along really swell. But when we did Stir Crazy (1980), he would come in 15 minutes late, 30 minutes late, 45 minutes late, an hour late. [Director] Sidney Poitier was going nuts.
- [on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)] I think it's an insult. It's probably Warner Brothers' insult. Johnny Depp, I think, is a good actor, but I don't care for that director [Tim Burton]. He's a talented man, but I don't care for him doing stuff like he did.
- [on why he doesn't make movies anymore] I like writing books. I'd rather be at home with my wife. I can write, take a break, come out, have a glass of tea, give my wife a kiss, and go back in and write some more. It's not so bad. I am really lucky.
- [on Mel Brooks] There's not much white sugar in Mel's veins. He would never ask an audience for sympathy.
- [on Zero Mostel] You may have heard stories about how bombastic, aggressive, and dictatorial Zero might be. It didn't happen with me. He always took care of me. I loved him. He looked after me as if I were a baby sparrow.
- I never thought of it as God. I didn't know what to call it. I don't believe in devils, but demons I do because everyone at one time or another has some kind of a demon, even if you call it by another name, that drives them.
- So my idea of neurotic is spending too much time trying to correct a wrong. When I feel that I'm doing that, then I snap out of it.
- My mother was suffering every day of her life, and what right did I have to be happy if she was suffering? So whenever I got happy about something, I felt the need to cut it off, and the only way to cut it off was to pray. "Forgive me Lord." For what, I didn't know.
- Great art direction is NOT the same thing as great film direction!
- A lot of comic actors derive their main force from childish behavior. Most great comics are doing such silly things; you'd say, "That's what a child would do.".
- Actors fall into this trap if they missed being loved for who they really were and not for what they could do - sing, dance, joke about - then they take that as love.
- I write funny. If I can make my wife laugh, I know I'm on the right track. But yes, I don't like to get Maudlin. And I have a tendency towards it.
- I don't mean to sound - I don't want it to come out funny, but I don't like show business. I love - I love acting in films. I love it.
- I wanted to do - there was this film called Magic (1978) that Anthony Hopkins did. And the director wanted me. The writer wanted me. Joe Levine said no, I don't want any comedians in this.
- I'm not so funny. Gilda was funny. I'm funny on camera sometimes. In life, once in a while. Once in a while. But she was funny. She spent more time worrying about being liked than anything else.
- I love the art of acting, and I love film, because you always have anther chance if you want it. You know, if we - if this isn't going well, you can't say - well, you could say - let's stop. Let's start over again, Gene, because you were too nervous.
- My basic mistake in The World's Greatest Lover (1977) was that I made the leading character a neurotic kook and sent him to Hollywood. I should have made him a perfectly normal, sane, ordinary person, and sent him to Hollywood. The audience identifies with the lead character.
- Lots of things are hard work, but I think writing, for me, after I started acting at 13 years old. I like writing now much more than I do acting only because, well, partly because the scripts that are offered are junk.
- I'm going to tell you what my religion is: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Period. Terminato. Finito. I have no other religion. I feel very Jewish and I feel very grateful to be Jewish. But I don't believe in God or anything to do with the Jewish religion.
- I'm quietly political. I don't like advertising. Giving money to someone or support, but not getting on a bandstand. I don't want to run for president in 2008. I will write another book instead.
- [2013, asked whether he would ever act again] I'm tired of watching the bombing, shooting, killing, swearing and 3-D. I get 52 movies a year sent to me, and maybe there are three good [ones]. That's why I went into writing. It's not that I wouldn't act again. I'd say, "Give me the script. If it's something wonderful, I'll do it". But I don't get anything like that.
- [on why he retired from acting] I don't like show business, I realized. I like show, but I don't like the business.
- When I'm not working on something, I seem to go through periods of depression. It helps to keep busy.
- I'm going to tell you what my religion is. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Period. Terminato. Finito.
- Pride is not the worst of sins. In fact, it's one of the most interesting ones.
- Success is a terrible thing and a wonderful thing. If you can enjoy it, it's wonderful. If it starts eating away at you, and they're waiting for more from me, or what can I do to top this, then you're in trouble. Just do what you love. That's all I want to do.
- I'm an actor, not a clown.
- When your mother gives you confidence about anything that you do, you carry that confidence with you.
- I'm funny on camera sometimes. In life, once in a while. Once in a while.
- If my mother hadn't laughed at the funny things I did, I probably wouldn't be a comic actor. After she had her first heart attack, the doctor said, 'Try to make her laugh.' And that was the first time I tried to make anyone laugh.
- What do actors really want? To be great actors? Yes, but you can't buy talent, so it's best to leave the word 'great' out of it. I think to be believed, onstage or onscreen, is the one hope that all actors share.
- My mother was suffering every day of her life, and what right did I have to be happy if she was suffering? So whenever I got happy about something, I felt the need to cut it off, and the only way to cut it off was to pray. 'Forgive me Lord.' For what, I didn't know.
- I love the art of acting, and I love film, because you always have another chance if you want it. You know, if we - if this isn't going well, you can't say - well, you could say - let's stop. Let's start over again, Gene, because you were too nervous.
- I didn't want to be a comedian. I wanted to be an actor - maybe a comic actor, but a real actor - by real, I mean not a comedian. I wanted to be an actor.
- I don't want to do 'Hamlet.' I don't want to do Robert Redford roles or Mel Gibson roles or Kevin Costner roles, because I'm not going to be good at them.
- Sidney Poitier was directing a film called Hanky Panky (1982). And he said, 'Do you want to come with me to New York to see Gilda Radner in 'Lunch Hour' on Broadway? I said, 'I don't need to see her, I love her. I've wanted to write something for her for a long time. So it's OK by me.'
- If something comes along that's really good, and I think I would be good for it, I'd be happy to do it. But not too many came along. I mean, they came along for the first, I don't know, 15, 18 films, but I didn't do that many. But then I didn't want to do the kind of junk I was seeing.
- We all grew up on movies with scenes where the actor is lying, and you know he's lying, but he wants to make sure you know it's a lie, and so he overacts and all but winks at you, and everybody in the world except for the girl he's talking to knows he's lying.
- I worked two days in Texas and two days in Hollywood on Bonnie and Clyde (1967), and that was it. I had no idea how it was going to turn out. And when I saw it, I was so upset, or fascinated, or something, by the sight of myself on the screen that I could hardly pay attention to the rest of the movie.
- I want to do what I can lend my talents to, but I want it to be as a human being and not as a two-dimensional character.
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