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Reviews
Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (2017)
Better than The Force Awakens, but still TERRIBLE
After the awful Episode VII, things could only get better. Barely.
I went in with low expectations and those weren't even met.
The Force Awakens set the bar very low for sequels to the original trilogy. The Last Jedi just squeaks above that low bar.
Heaps of characters and creatures you don't care about. They're there for no reason.
If you're looking for any background on Supreme Leader Joke...er...Snoke, forget it. All the hype around that character added up to absolutely nothing.
Leia's space "adventure" was ridiculous.
Luke is a wuss. What happens to him at the end makes no sense at all.
At least Daisy "mouth agape" Ridley is less annoying in this movie than she was in the first.
Bridge of Spies (2015)
Good movie, not all true
Every movie that is based on a true story has had the actual story and events modified by Hollywood. Reality isn't as entertaining as fiction, so things are always added or changed for dramatic effect.
"Based on a true story" does not in any way, shape, or form mean it's a documentary or even a highly produced dramatization.
It's a good movie, all actors did their jobs well, it's just not entirely accurate, historically.
If you want to know what really happened about any true events portrayed by Hollywood, you need to read, not watch the movie.
Twin Peaks: The Return (2017)
Trash
Absolute garbage that makes no sense at all.
"Twin Peaks: The Return" is the answer to a question no one was asking.
It's just fodder for pseudo-intellectual hipsters.
The characters are annoying and unlikable, the nonsensical things they say and do are annoying, the inexplicable events (and no explanation is even attempted at most of the stuff) are annoying.
How this trash was given a green light is as big a mystery as whatever this show is actually supposed to be about.
The Fate of the Furious (2017)
Terrible movie
SPOILER ALERT
Apart from this movie being unrealistic garbage, the biggest thing that makes absolutely no sense is this: If Dom "goes rogue" and Kurt Russell's character recruits his old crew to hunt him down, why would they NOT recruit Brian (Paul Walker's character), the guy who was best able to track him down previously? Sure, the actor is dead, but they refer to him at the end, naming a baby after him. Why? They were all talking about "saving the world" so why would they insist on not bothering Brian in his retirement if the world would end with their failure to stop Charlize Theron anyway? What they should have done was have the Brian character killed off-screen by Charlize Theron's goons as part of the leverage to manipulate Dom. Then naming a baby after him would make sense and they wouldn't have to carry on a lame excuse for Brian never appearing in any future installments of this ridiculous series.
Baby Driver (2017)
Starts out great, falls apart halfway through
This movie had a lot of potential. It started out great, but it began to fall apart rapidly just after the halfway mark.
A more complicated plot could have developed, but the second half just seems rushed. The movie could have gone in several different and more fulfilling directions, but it went full cheese instead. Disappointing. It ends up being just a variation of "The Last Ride" (2004).
SPOILER ALERT
It's a given that being in debt to a crime boss means your debt will never really be cleared, so that's okay for a movie.
And you can suspend disbelief for driving physics and non-deploying airbags...
But...
Doc sending the third crew to meet with arms dealers was totally unnecessary for the job they had the next day, because they already had all the equipment they needed, so that whole scene was forced just for a plot device.
Bats proved he was willing to kill for no reason, so there's really no reason he would have left Joe alive.
There is no way Buddy would have been able to escape all those cops swarming him downtown. Then Buddy shows up again later after getting shot in the chest. Superhuman villains in a non-superhero movie tend to ruin the whole thing.
Doc remaining in the place from where the heist was launched at risk of being caught for no reason (even though he knew it was botched) made no sense, just like his sudden change of heart in "helping" Baby made no sense.
Oh and Jon Bernthal is only in the movie for about 10 minutes, so not sure why he was given top billing, when he's pretty much just an extra with a couple of lines. Baby's deaf foster dad had more lines (sign language) than Bernthal, yet he's not considered a main character.
Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Mommy, Daddy, what's p-o-r-n?
If you want to have to explain to your young child what porn is, take them to see this movie, because that is an answer a character gives to a question asked when caught by an adult (doing something else) in computer lab during a school dance.
There is also a scene where the girls play the "F*/Marry/Kill Game", so you'll probably have to explain to your young child what that is as well.
Yes, it's rated PG-13, but the merchandise is marketed to a far younger demographic. Parents may be tricked by that rating being related to the violence, but kids are exposed to violence and aggressiveness in every day life. Sexual references, not so much.
Also, Flash calls Peter "Penis Parker" in the movie, instead of "puny Paker" as in the comics. (And Flash was a jock in the comics, but is a nerd in the movie.)
Now before anyone attacks with "well the characters are teenagers", that's not the point, but the fact that these teenagers were super excited over building a Lego Death Star would suggest that looking at smut on the computer is incongruous with the type of teens that they are.
That aside, the movie was merely okay, but not better than any other standalone Marvel hero films; better than Avengers and Age of Ultron, though.
Spider-Man's CGI acrobatics were cartoonish. The suit pretty much makes him Iron-Man without the armor plating and jets; bad idea by the writers, because in the comics, Spider-Man made his own suit and equipment and it did not have AI interface. Iron-Spider suit came later on in comics.
Vulture is a good character, played well by Keaton, the highlight of the movie.
The ferry scene was pretty bad...and not in a good way.