Change Your Image
Adam-woolston14
Reviews
Bloodsport (1988)
This movie is so dumb. I love it
The acting is absolutely horrendous, the characters are one-dimensional, the relationships are under-developed, there are far too many scenes of JCVD doing the splits, the editing is jarring at parts, and the plot is absolutely nonsensical when it is not cliché.
And yet... I freaking love this movie. The fight scenes are very well done. The use of actors who are martial artists first, actors second, led to some very organic and impressive action sequences, and in a pre-MMA world, it's pretty cool that various fight styles from around the world were showcased. It's rare you see an 80s action flick with a Karate master trading kicks with a Muay Thai fighter or a Sumo wrestler going at a Capoeira fighter. The hammy lines delivered with wooden acting are unintentionally hilarious, giving this movie plenty of unintentional comedy as padding around it's legitimately impressive fight choreography.
Overall, no matter how uneven the film can get, one thing it manages to consistently be is enjoyable.
A Quiet Place (2018)
Ignore the Negative Reviews
I've seen a lot of negative reviews on here, even though it has an 8/10 overall. I have no issue with someone not liking a film, but when a movie this good is getting hate for dumb reasons, it leads us to keep getting 4-5 superhero movies a year instead of good, original works like this, so I want to address some of the criticisms I'm seeing
They never explained what happened to set up this premise: They don't need to. The movie isn't about the aliens, it's about the family trying to survive. They probably don't even know all the details, and even if they did, do you really want an expositions dialogue scene in a movie that's mostly quiet? How about a forced flashback sequence? Plus, a little bit of mystery goes a long way. Not knowing much about the creatures enhances the suspense.
If they can be killed with guns, why did they not get wiped out a long time ago?: You ever try hit a moving target with a gun? How about one that moves like 100 miles an hour? They say in the movie that they know of three creatures that are in the area. So it's likely many of them DID die already. They just eventually overpowered humans.
How did they have electricity?: Solar panels are clearly visible on their farm in multiple shots.
Why didn't they live by the waterfall?: Construction is noisy
Why did they have a kid?: Are you suggesting they did it on purpose?
Why didn't they abort the baby?: Yeah hang on, let me just figure out how to quietly perform an abortion with the medical degree I definitely have. Also, there is a praying scene, so they appear to be somewhat religious. Maybe they don't like the idea of killing an unborn baby. Anyways, this movie has literally been marked controversial because they use a gun to protect their family. Do you think including a discussion about an abortion would have gone over well?
Guns are bad they shouldn't have shown the family use a gun in the current political climate: You're an idiot
Backcountry (2014)
Meh
The first half of the movie is phenomenal. Tension, atmosphere, it's all a pretty good setup. You can kind of tell where things are going as the characters make some dumb choices along the way, but you're still interested. Maybe I'm being hard on them because I have outdoorsman experience, and I know just how stupid a lot of their actions are. But it was all very well-crafted, well-shot, well-directed, and well-acted.
The second half? Meh. It went from clever, psychological horror to mindless gorefest in the blink of an eye. I guess this sudden shift of time was supposed to be some shocking movie moment, but really I just went "oh, it's this type of movie now? Ok then." And honestly, the movie it set itself up to be in the first half was far superior. Then you're here thinking, "well, since we've decided to be a gorefest, let's just enjoy a super violent finale!" And you'll be disappointed because the ending they go with is so underwhelming. It's like it tried to go back to the psychological thriller it set up in the first place. Just pick a tone! You want to be an atmosphere piece or you want to show people getting graphically ripped apart by bears? Because if you want to be an atmosphere piece, you can't get off on over-the-top bear maulings, and if you want to be an evil bear movie, you have to give us a gory finale. It tried to do too much and is just a forgettable survival film we've all seen before. With a random scene of a bear eating someone alive.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)
Exceeded my low expectations
When I learned of a TMNT movie. I was excited. Then I learned Michael Bay would be doing it. I was no longer excited. The First Transformer movie is watchable if you turn off your brain, the second is robot/explosion porn, the third... Well let's just forget that they made a third. I haven't bothered with the new one. Even if it has Marky Mark. Anyways, when I learned April would be played by Megan Fox I only bought a ticket out of morbid curiosity as to whether this movie would replace the Last Airbender and Bay would replace Shyamalan as the principle ruiner of childhoods. The end result? It was OK. It was fairly enjoyable. The action was great, Michaelangelo actually made me laugh a few times, Raphael is a beefcake, Leo is everything he should be. The only turtle portrayal I didn't like was Donatello. Director says "Hey guys, with all the gadgets and big words and stuff, Donatello is a big nerd. But do you think it's obvious enough that he's a nerd?" Crew member jokingly says "Maybe we should put taped glasses on him too so it's unmistakable!" Director says "Good idea Jenkins!" Crew member says "Bro I was kidding." But they used it anyway. I won't get into the origin story because everyone else makes it clear they hate it. I do too. But I enjoyed the action and had fun not thinking about how stupid the movie was and being entranced by the pretty turtles. It was like an acid trip. Michael Bay is certainly evident throughout. Unnecessary explosions, product placement, Megan Fox bent over and a gratuitous Pervy camera angle of her butt. All of the Bay trademarks are there. But it's somehow less annoying than in Transformers. The weakest point of the movie is, not surprisingly, Megan Fox. It's like after she was cast someone told Michael Bay "hey, you probably don't want to sexualize April. That's not how fanboys want to see her. She's like the girl next door." So Bay gave her a significant subplot and character development with only one money shot on her (of course I throw around terms like subplot and character development loosely. This is Michael Bay I'm talking about. Just because it's done, doesn't mean it's done well.). The problem is Megan Fox wasn't cast in Transformers (or anything she's been in) because she can act. It was just so dull.
Overall, the movie exceeded my expectations, but only because they were low to begin with. I do still feel like if studios took this movie seriously and hired intelligent, talented people to make it, it would have been great. Maybe Shredder would have been scary and not just seemed like a man-sized decepticon. It could have been better. But it could have been much, much worse. I'll take it.
Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)
Did I miss something?
Everyone said this movie was fantastic. As a big superhero and Marvel fan, I obviously went and saw it. I'm not so sure I saw the same movie as everyone else who loved it. I'll start with the exposition. Peter Quill, a young boy on Earth witnesses his mother die. OK. This was clearly supposed to make me sad. Let's face it, though, every superhero has lost one or both parents. Plus,I didn't know anything about this character so it was hard for me to care about him. It was supposed to be dramatic and intense, but it was just a big pile of meh.
But that's OK! Because now we get into the meat of the story. Peter is all grown up and played by Chris Pratt and he's... a thief? OK. I can cheer for thieves, I guess. I like the Italian Job. But I'm a little confused that the other thief (Some blue alien whose name I forget two seconds after they say it) who was his partner and got ripped off is not supposed to be cheered for. He doesn't seem much worse than Quill to me. What, we hate him because he is blue? Oh, sure, he turns out a lot worse at the end, but come on. Up until that point the protagonist is just as bad, if not worse, than him. Speaking of questionable morals, how about Bradley Cooper's Rocket? Only motivated by money. He's only on the good guy team because he can make a truckload of cash. I struggled to cheer for him. Also, I am a huge Batista fan, and was excited to see him in this one. Disappointed. His character has no reason to be there. He doesn't contribute anything to the story except make things harder for everyone else and get his butt kicked a few times. I was hoping the WWE star would show us his physical prowess by actually WINNING a fight here and there. The only physical prowess he shows is LOOKING really big and intimidating. Speaking of looks, this movie is very pretty. I will concede that. Excellent CGI. But in today's age of Avatar and Gravity, I just can't be impressed too much by CGI anymore. It doesn't have the same effect in the modern age of movies. Overall, this movie is OK. It holds up with other Marvel titles and I'm sure as the characters are explored a little more, I'll find more joy in it. But frankly, I was pumped for this movie and let down. And I really TRIED to enjoy. I found myself forcing myself to laugh at Bradley Cooper's remarks and attempting to feel sorry for the tragedies the various characters went through, but I really just couldn't care about the characters. I don't know these people. They aren't Iron Man, Hulk, or Captain America. They are... Starlord, Queen Ghidorah(?), Raccoon dude, Groot (You are forced to remember that one), and unintelligent beefcake alien. They don't fight Loki, they fight some cowboy alien and some blue dude with an infinity stone (OK...). Thanos is there too. He's also important. I guess. Meh.
Godzilla (2014)
Pleasantly Surprised
I'll be honest, I had low expectations here. This movie was hyped, but I expected another poorly made, badly acted, mindless explosion/destruction/monster fighting/pacific rim nonsense. However, I was pleasantly surprised. Bryan Cranston and Ken Watanabe are both awesome in their acting. Godzilla himself is a slow build, but once this movie gets going it really gets going. The final battle is one of the greatest monster movie fight scenes I've ever seen, and they do a good job of giving this movie heart. Well done. The only reason I don't give it a perfect 10 is because some of the explanations of HOW gigantic lizards and bug-things exist aren't really convincing, and much of the Physics and logic is off. But who cares? It's freaking Godzilla! Also, speaking of him, he looks more like the classic monster than the abomination that was the 1998 Matthew Broderick flick. It was a nice nod to his origins while the amazing advances of modern CGI made him a million times as scary. I freaking loved it