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Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (2013)
Rare movie that BECAME better w/ the passage of time...
When I first saw this movie, I was not a fan. It seemed like a retelling of the first story complete with the same jokes from the first movie. But in the time between its original release and the natural course of 24 hour news in general, reality has changed my perception of this film and has turned it from a poor sequel to a great film into a piece of biting satire.
Ron literally sums up the entire cable news apparatus when he says "why don't we tell people what they want to hear instead of what they need to hear?" CNN has made an entire business model out of this. Considering how poorly they convey actual stories and merely make stuff up to appease their cult-like audience (as small as it is).
This movie ranks along side "PCU" in the "filmed that were ahead of their time."
Scary Movie 2 (2001)
Just a 90 minute series of gross out gags
What makes movies like "Airplane" and "The Naked Gun" work so well is that despite all the laughs, they're actually coherent. All this movie is is 90 straight minutes of just awful, rejected SNL skits all strung together with a minimal plot to create a movie for the late high school crowd to go see on a Friday night. It is also apparent that when they run out of dialogue (which is often) they just insert a bodily fluid gag of some sort. And the less material they have to work with, the more liters of fluid they weave into the plot. It's lazy, it's disgusting, and it isn't funny. It reminds me of that comedian open mic night who doesn't tell jokes but just curses the whole time and raises his voice. Volume isn't comedy. Vulgarity isn't "jokes."
This is the movie that you see on one of the higher number HBO's and you pause on it for two minutes because you understand a joke is coming really fast so you might as well squeeze in one, and then it finally arrives, and you change the channel with an eye roll, disgusted with yourself over the fact that you allowed yourself to watch such a pathetic display of entertainment... And then you really start to question your choices in life that you can just choose to watch somethings so boring and lifeless.
Mad Men: Signal 30 (2012)
Hands Down, the Best Mad Men Episode of the Lot
"You're a grubby little pimp."
It's one of the best insults ever and it sounds even more insulting coming from Layne in his British accent. This is my hands-down favorite episode of the entire series. This is the Mad Men's "Pine Barrens" or "College." SCDP gets a crack at Jaguar's business through a friend of Layne's and while Layne tries his best, he turns the meeting over to the big guns of Roger, Don, and Pete. When they're out for lobster, they're informed that while he's Layne's friend, he doesn't feel like he can cut loose around such a close acquaintance.
I'm not putting spoilers in here because the episode is so epic, even a spoiler warning would fail the viewer. But if I had to watch just one episode of Mad Men, it'd be this episode 1000 times.
The Allnighter (1987)
Utter disappointment for one reason...
I remember seeing this movie at the video store and I finally got a weekend away from my parents where I can rent it and watch it without them around (shut up). Despite the over-sexual VHS cover, Susanna Hoffs does not get naked in the movie AT ALL. NOT ONCE. What an incredibly disgusting bait and switch to pull on teens who freaked out seeing her on MTV looking all sexy.,
I don't ever want to hear about how she's some kind of sexual icon of the 80's. She isn't. She's a liar.
Curb Your Enthusiasm: The Five-Foot Fence (2021)
Should have been titled "The Virtue Signaler."
I have been a huge fan of the series since day one, but now he's just using the scripts to get his little digs in on the political opposition, and that has never been more evident than watching this episode. The running joke is an executive at Netflix is named "Don Junior." Jeff and Larry comment that the name Don Junior has been ruined forever. I'm sorry I just don't get it... How is the name been ruined?
I don't recall Don Junior sleeping with his dead brother's wife. I don't recall Don Junior having a baby with an Arkansas stripper. I don't recall Don Junior getting thrown out of the military for drugs. Why is his name ruined? And why would a comedic genius like Larry David skip over such obvious humor when the name "Hunter" would've worked so much better and made so much more sense.
But no... We have to get in our little digs at the red hat people. Just like he did a few seasons ago. Everything woke turns to _____. It appears we are on our way.
The Sopranos: Boca (1999)
The episode that sets Season 1 in motion.....
When I first saw this episode of "The Sopranos" I really thought that this was what the entire series was going to be about: dealing with everyday life in the suburbs but you're a mafia boss. To me, that was a unique experience and for a season and a half, they kind of stuck to that before it became a full-on gangster show. It was always interesting to see a "mob boss" at a parent/teacher conference and dealing with speeding tickets, etc. This episode, however, showed what happened when a sick, perverted soccer coach took advantage of the one girl who had connected friends. It literally begs the question, "If you had the power to mitigate justice, would you?" Tony literally makes the argument for vigilante justice (and is really convincing when he does it) in the face of dealing with Meadow's soccer coach who had an inappropriate relationship with her teammate.
The secondary plot of the story revolves around something a bit more obtuse: the rumor mill churns that Uncle Junior enjoys (and is quite good at) orally gratifying his girlfriend, Bobbi. Junior warns her not to talk about their sex life because apparently, in the Italian culture, a man doing that to a woman might be a sign that you are gay (ASIDE: I am 100% Italian. I've never heard that, ever. Not once. END ASIDE). Well, Junior's worst nightmare comes true as Bobbi had been bragging for sometime and word gets back to Tony who uses this fact to chide Junior on the golf course - an event that sets into motion a series of happenings for the rest of the season that leads to bloodshed.
It's funny to look back on this episode after finishing the season and realize that the ball started rolling HERE... when Junior pleasured his girlfriend.
Friends: The One Where Joey Speaks French (2004)
Oh de foof.
The 10th season of FRIENDS was running on fumes creatively, and I was not a fan of Joey's descent into madness since Las Vegas, but his pure butchering of the French language as he tries to learn basic French phrases from Phoebe is comedy gold and might be his funniest individual moment since he explained "a moo point." I also thorough enjoyed Chandler rediscovering NY as a tourist, buying I LOVE NY shirts and Statue of Liberty crowns and realizing how awesome the city is. I think at some point, we all kind of have an epiphany about our towns when we discover a restaurant or club or bar that has been where it's been FOREVER and we just discover it. And of course, Ross and Rachel coin another phrase - "off the table" - about having sympathy sex. I thinking back over all the seasons and realize how much Ross and Rachel taught EVERYONE about the rules of relationships and POST-RELATIONSHIP interactions. "Bonus night" being one of them. "On a break" naturally. I'd have to say this episode is a highlight of season 10. "Good job, little buddy."
Friends: The One Where Ross Got High (1999)
Top 3 funniest episode ever.
FRIENDS made the "Thanksgiving episode" an institution. This is the best of the bunch and also one of the best of entire series.
-Chandler finds out Monica's parents don't like him.
-It turns out that that Ross blamed Chandler for a pot smell in his room and Jack and Judy have been weirded out by him ever since.
-Complicating matters Joey and Ross are invited to spend Thanksgiving drinking with Jeanine's dancer friends.
-Rachel is tasked with making dessert but the recipe for the English truffle gets commingled with a Sheppard's pie.
-Phoebe, in a weird throw-in story line, realizes she had a sexual dream about Jack Geller and Jacques Cousteau. It sounds strange but she interjects references at odd places and it strangely works.
Every storyline is woven perfectly into one another along with a good dose of physical comedy as Ross and Joey try to eat the meat-riddled dessert.
"It tastes like FEET!" screams Ross.
Friends: The One with the Hypnosis Tape (1997)
Half of a funny episode.
The episode title refers to the hypnosis tape that Chandler has to listen to in an effort to help him quit smoking. However, the tape is geared towards a woman and it turned him into an effeminate caricature (which is actually hilarious).
Sadly, the rest of the episode focuses on Frank Jr. who announces that he was thrown out of his house because his mom found out that he was dating his Home Ec teacher and they're getting married. Personally, any Frank Jr episode can be skipped during a binge watch. He isn't funny. He adds nothing to the plot except as a respirator for giving Phoebe something to do periodically. And worst of all, he comes off as this mentally challenged goober. If you get through the series a few times you realize he has no arc as a character. He's a moron with no prospects at the beginning and he's even worse for wear at the end of the series because he's still a moron and has triplets he can't afford.
Although there is one hidden gem: Jon Favreau as tech billionaire Pete Becker makes an appearance and takes Monica on a date which sets them off on an interesting side-story. What happens if an insanely rich person who can take care of you for the rest of your life likes you, but you don't like them? Monica is truly conflicted. Monica and Pete are a nice distraction towards the end of Season 3 and their relationship gets very funny.
A pretty standard episode but personally, I can do without Frank Jr and he's in ALOT of this episode.
Friends: The One with the Jam (1996)
Kind of a lame, unfunny disposable episode.
This is easily one of the 5 worst FRIENDS episodes in the entire series. Literally none of the characters have ANYTHING to do of any consequence and every single escapade is forgotten by the next week. I'm just going to give you the laundry list of what happens:
- The writers had no idea what to do with unemployed, dumped Monica so they made her go crazy and start making "jam." That gave way to a weird urge to have an out-of-wedlock baby as an unemployed single mother.
- Joey was jumping up and down on his bed like an idiot and dislocated his shoulder (Matt LeBlanc had a real life injury so this was done to cover it up).
- Ross gives Chandler crappy advice on how to share the bed with Janice who smothers him.
- And most disturbingly, Phoebe picks up a stalker who thinks he is following Phoebe's twin sister. After talking to him, she finds him ODDLY CHARMING despite the fact that he's creepy, sick, and exhibiting the behavior of a serial killer.
- Rachel literally does nothing but make out with Ross and go to work.
- David Arquette plays the "stalker." He is just as unfunny in this as he is in everything else that he is in.
I find it hilarious that the SJWs who are trying to retroactively "cancel" FRIENDS always bring up the Monica Fat Suit episodes, the fact that all 6 members of the cast are white, and the jokey "Chandler's gay" jokes as a reason the show should be scrubbed from history like it's a Civil War statue, but never mention the episode where they tried to make a joke about a single woman being stalked in a big city.
Le Mans (1971)
Unbelievably Boring
I honestly watched this movie because I got a Tag Heuer watch that Steve McQueen wore in this movie and I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. There are long stretches without any dialog and there isn't really much of a plot. Honest, aside from it being about the 24 Hours At Le Mans, I honestly didn't retain much from watching this movie. There' s no dialog for the first half hour of the film. I kept checking my AV system because I thought a speaker had shorted out. My biggest thrill was recognizing the actor who played Jodl in "Patton" as one of the drivers.
Unless you're a hard core race fan, this movie... well it's not even really a MOVIE. It's like watching security camera footage at a race. Well, again, unless you're a hard core race fan this won't appeal to you because it's honestly terrible. If you're a McQueen fan, go watch "The Hunter."
By the way, McQueen IS wearing my watch, so keep an eye out for it.
Friends: The One in Vegas: Part 2 (1999)
The Episode Where Joey Jumps The Shark
I thoroughly enjoyed the entire Vegas premise. The concept of Joey trekking across the US to be in a movie that gets canceled the second he arrives is a very "Joey" thing to happen; however, this is the episode where the writing in "Friends" converts Joey from "lovable not-book-smart dim-bulb artist" to "fully mentally challenged adult." From this episode forward, Joey pretty much functions as a mentally challenged adult. He doesn't know how to pay his bills. He picks a roommate based on the fact that he wants to date her not even thinking about what happens if they break up. He fights with an infant over a stuffed animal. And here, he's obsessed with his "identical hand twin," which sounds so ridiculous I would have loved to have heard that pitch in the writer's room. There was nothing wrong with a character who is all looks and no brains. Joey wouldn't be the first one of those on TV, but to make him some kind of idiot savant ... this was the beginning of the end of the show.
The Flash: Duet (2017)
Easily the Worst Flash Episode Ever
It seems that every television show has that one episode every season that you can just flush down the commode. THE SOPRANOS did it, SEINFELD did it... well, this is that episode. I really tried to get through this one knowing that a) it was with a crossover with another show that I did NOT like (SUPERGIRL is insufferable), b) it was trying to capitalize on the past with a GLEE reunion (I read that; I never watched GLEE) and c) it had nothing to do with the season's story arc. I literally got about 15 minutes into the show and my head started to hurt from all the eye rolling. I turned it off, pulled up EW.com and read the "recap" on-line just to see if there was any detail that I may have missed. There wasn't. You can skip this one and go straight to episode 18.
The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990)
Good For What It Is
Was this going to win Best Picture? Hell no.
But "Adventures of Ford Fairlane" is the movie you watch when you're about to go to sleep because you have a big meeting in the morning and then you see the opening credits on HBO at 11:30pm and you just have to watch it.
Movies like this, as self-serving and gross as they are, actually are more important today more than they were when they came out in the 80s and 90s. They are a reminder of a time when we could laugh at something that was gross and disgusting without having to worry about protests from leftist screaming about micro aggressions. No one names their penis "Stanley" anymore. No one is banned from MTV. No one says nursery rhymes with the word pu$$y in them.
No one knew it at the time, but AFF is an important snapshot of a better time in pop culture.
Daredevil (2003)
Not As Bad As People Make It Out To Be...
I finally got around to watching this last night. After reading all the terrible reviews and the way Ben Affleck was roasted as the choice for Batman, my expectations were very, very low.
I'll say this: the movie started off with a lot of promise... the origin story portion of the movie was well done. In a way, Matt Murdock almost reminds me of Dexter. But the movie fell apart when we were finally introduced to Colin Ferrell's Bullseye. As soon as he made his entrance on the screen, the viewer is bombarded with his endless mugging and facial twitches along with his pointless over-acting, so much to the point it took away from the rest of the movie and I just started making sarcastic cracks about him.
Then I started thinking: has Colin Ferrell been in ANYTHING that was good? I scrolled through IMDb and he's been in mostly garbage. He's also responsible for destroying 2 beloved 80's films in remakes (Total Recall and Fright Night). The guy is literally the Kevorkian of movie material.
In a nutshell, I thought Daredevil was pretty good. The costume was AWESOME. Kingpin, for such a ruthless, huge guy, barely left his office (which I didn't get). It's a shame because the movie, tweaked just a LIIIIIIIIIITLE bit could have been really good!
But I'll say this: I'm not concerned with Ben Affleck as Batman anymore.