How I Met Your Mother (2005–2014)
Alyson Hannigan: Lily Aldrin, Jasmine
Photos
Quotes
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Lily : [Lily sees Barney hitting on Claudia] Oh, hell. No!
[grabs Barney by the ear and yanks him away from Claudia]
Lily : Claudia is getting married tomorrow and so help me God if I catch you even so much as breathing the same air as her I will take those peanuts you're trying to pass off as testicles and I will squeeze them so hard until your eyes pop out and then I'll feed them to you like grapes.
Barney : [confused] Wait... my eyes? Or my testicles?
Lily : [pause, thinks about it] One of each!
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[repeated line]
Lily : You son of a bitch!
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Lily : Hey, nice shirt, Ted. Is it yesterday already?
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[repeated line throughout season 9]
Lily : [Being handed a drink at the Farhampton Inn] Thank you, Linus.
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Lily : You're playing hockey. With a basketball... and tennis rackets?
Marshall : It's BaskIceball, the greatest game ever. We invented it. it's Awesome!
Lily : Wait, BaskIceball? shouldn't it be Iceketball?
Marvin Eriksen Sr. : Ice... Ket... ball? that just sounds weird.
Marcus Eriksen : The game is BaskIceball. And I'm the best.
Lily : Well, maybe that's just cause you haven't seen *me* play.
[Lily throws the basketball to Marcus who throws it back to Marshall]
Marshall : Well, it's not exactly a sport for girls.
Lily : Well, that's funny cause your brother throws like a girl!
[Lily throws the ball back to Marcus]
Lily : [Marcus throws the ball hard and hits Lily in the face]