Tremors (1990)
Kevin Bacon: Valentine McKee
Photos
Quotes
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Earl Bassett : Damn it, listen to me. I'm older and wiser.
Valentine McKee : Yeah, well you're half right.
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Valentine McKee : Roger that Burt, and congratulations. Be advised, however, that there are two more, repeat, two more motherhumpers.
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Earl Bassett : Is this a job for an intelligent man?
Valentine McKee : Well, show me one and I'll ask him.
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[trapped on top of a boulder by a Graboid, Val, Earl, and Rhonda are thinking of explanations for where the creatures came from]
Valentine McKee : [joking] They're mutations caused by radiation. No, wait; the government made 'em. *Big* surprise for the Russians.
Rhonda LeBeck : Well, there's nothing like them in the fossil record, I know that for sure. Okay, so they predate the fossil record. But that'd make them a couple of billion years old... and we've just never seen one until now. Right.
Earl Bassett : I vote for outer space. No way these are local boys.
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Earl Bassett : Hey, Rhonda you ever seen anything like this before?
Valentine McKee : Oh, sure Earl. Everyone knows about them, we just didn't tell you!
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Earl Bassett : Dammit, Valentine! You never go for any girl unless she fits that stupid list of yours from top to bottom.
Valentine McKee : Well, sure.
Earl Bassett : Yeah, and it's dumber than my hind end! Like that Bobbie Lynn Dexter.
Valentine McKee : Tammy Lynn Baxter!
Earl Bassett : Doesn't matter. They're all the same: dead weight. "Ooh, I broke a nail!" Ugh! Makes my skin crawl.
Valentine McKee : Yeah, well, I'm a victim of circumstance.
Earl Bassett : I thought you called it your pecker.
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Valentine McKee : [to Rhonda] GET OUT OF YOUR PANTS!
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[Earl Bassett and Valentine McKee are about to meet Rhonda LeBeck. Valentine McKee pictures her]
Valentine McKee : You will have long blonde hair, big green eyes, world class breasts, ass that won't quit and legs that go all the way up.
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Valentine McKee : What the hell's in those things, Burt?
Burt Gummer : A few household chemicals in the proper proportions.
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Valentine McKee : I can't believe we said no to free beer!
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Earl Bassett : Dammit, I'm gonna kick his ass!
Valentine McKee : I'm gonna help you.
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Earl Bassett : No way those things can outrun these horses!
Valentine McKee : Yeah, well, for all you know, they can fly.
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Valentine McKee : What the hell is going on? I mean what the HELL is going on!
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Valentine McKee : [to Earl] Who died and made you Einstein?
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Valentine McKee : This valley is just one long smorgasbord.
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Rhonda LeBeck : They only respond to vibration, right? Couldn't we... distract them somehow?
Valentine McKee : Yeah, something to keep 'em busy, like a... like a decoy!
Miguel : Hey Melvin... wanna make a buck?
Melvin Plug : [Flips him the bird] Eh, eat it!
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Valentine McKee : [hearing music from below ground] So where the hell's that goddamn golden oldie comin' from?
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Earl Bassett : No breakfast?
Valentine McKee : I did it yesterday. It was baloney and beans.
Earl Bassett : No, it was eggs. I made eggs. Over easy.
Valentine McKee : The hell you did! Baloney and beans. It's your turn!
[They go through a quick game of paper-rock-scissors, which Valentine loses]
Valentine McKee : Well, I guess when I'm your age, I'll forget what I eat, too.
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[as the graboid feels at the building]
Valentine McKee : What's it doing, Rhonda?
Rhonda LeBeck : Why do you keep asking me?
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Earl Bassett : [Valentine has just freed the truck from a hangup, after a struggle] Y'know, that's a good way to break an axle.
Valentine McKee : Could you shut up?
Earl Bassett : Hey, I don't need to spend the night out here!
Valentine McKee : [long pause] Crybaby.
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Valentine McKee : Good morning Mr. Bassett, this is your wake up call. Please move your ass.
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[Monster slams into a concrete retaining wall]
Earl Bassett : Stupid son-of-a-bitch, knocked itself cold!
Valentine McKee : Cold my ass. He's dead! We killed it. We killed it! FUCK! YOU!
Rhonda LeBeck : Hey guys. What's going on? Hey, did you notice anything weird just now? I mean, it just hap-
[she notices the dead monster]
Rhonda LeBeck : ... What's that?
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Earl Bassett : They must be long gone by now.
Valentine McKee : Yeah. Hey, why don't you go take a little stroll and find out?
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Earl Bassett : You suppose he wanted to kill himself?
Valentine McKee : Come on, somebody must'a chased him up there.
Earl Bassett : You mean someone that ain't scared of a Winchester rifle? Then what'd they do? Camp out down below and wait for him to die?
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Valentine McKee : [as the last graboid falls off a cliff] Yeah! Can you fly you sucker? CAN YOU FLY?
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Earl Bassett : We gotta run. We've got a schedule to keep.
Valentine McKee : Yeah. See, we plan ahead, that way we don't do anything right now. Earl explained it to me.
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Valentine McKee : "We gotta do somethin'." I don't know why "we" always has to be me every damn time. We, we, we. What do I look like, an expert in worm?
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Valentine McKee : Good luck shithead.
Earl Bassett : Don't worry about me jerkoff.
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Valentine McKee : Was it a heart attack, Doctor?
Dr. Jim : No, died of dehydration, thirst.
Valentine McKee : That doesn't make any sense, that takes a couple days, doesn't it?
Dr. Jim : Maybe even three or four.
Earl Bassett : You mean he sat up there three or four days? He just sat up there and died of thirst?
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Valentine McKee : STAMPEDE! Stampede, Earl! Get out of the way, get out of the way!
Earl Bassett : [waking up] You dumb shit. I was in a stampede once. Five hundred head, all hell-bent for the horizon.
Valentine McKee : Now, exactly how many cattle are required for a stampede, Earl? Is it three or more? Is there a minimum to 'pede?
Earl Bassett : I wish they'd stampede up your ass.
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Valentine McKee : We can't hold still long! These things are damn smart! They're getting smarter by the minute!
Burt Gummer : That's fine!
[Holds up a stick of dynamite]
Burt Gummer : We got some new things to teach 'em!
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Valentine McKee : I've got a goddamn plan!
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Earl Bassett : What're you bringin' that vacuum cleaner for?
Valentine McKee : I like this vacuum cleaner.
Earl Bassett : Y'never use it.
Valentine McKee : Well, it's good for parts.
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Earl Bassett : [yelling] AHHH! AHHH!
Valentine McKee : What? What is it?
Earl Bassett : Damn prairie dog burrow.
Valentine McKee : Sons a bitches.
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Valentine McKee : We decided to leave town just one damn day too late!
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Earl Bassett : [after digging out the dead graboid] There's no way Walter Chang's getting his slick mits on this for no 15 bucks.
Valentine McKee : You got that right!
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Valentine McKee : I'll tell you. Nobody handles garbage better than we do.
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Valentine McKee : Wait wait wait. This one's not falling for it. This one ain't dumb. He's tryin' to trick us.
Earl Bassett : Use your bomb!
Valentine McKee : It's our *last one!*
Earl Bassett : Well what else you gonna use it for?
Valentine McKee : So what if we make it to the rocks? We'll be dead in three days anyway!
Earl Bassett : Well I wanna live for the three days!
Burt Gummer : What the hell, what's the matter? Use the bomb, for Chrissake!
Melvin Plug : Throw that bomb, man! Scare them away!
[pause, they look at Rhonda]
Rhonda LeBeck : Throw the bomb!
Valentine McKee : [looking at the bomb] This bastard ain't smarter than us.
Earl Bassett : For Christ's sake, Val!
Valentine McKee : I'm gonna go for it.
Earl Bassett : Go for *what?*
[Valentine takes off running; Earl runs after him as the graboid bursts out of the ground]
Earl Bassett : Shit! What're you *doing?*
Valentine McKee : I GOT A GODDAMN PLAAAAN!
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Valentine McKee : Hey - check this out! I found the ass end!
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Valentine McKee : What the hell are those things? And how can they bury a whole station wagon?
Earl Bassett : WHY would they do it?
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Valentine McKee : Come on you two, let's go, we're headed for the mountains!
Burt Gummer : [Hefts bag of weapons] If that's how we're doin it, we're going prepared!
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[Ground Starts to bulge]
Earl Bassett : Must be a million of them!
[Graboid breaks through the surface of the ground]
Valentine McKee : Nope, just one!
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Earl Bassett : Here's the plan. We don't even stop. Ride like hell. Tonight we keep right on going. We'll walk the horses.
Valentine McKee : That is the plan! I mean goddamn! What the hell are those things? How could they bury a whole station wagon?
Earl Bassett : Or WHY would they do it?
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Burt Gummer : We don't see anything, Val! Now what the hell are you talking about, over?
Valentine McKee : Burt, they're under the ground, they're UNDER the GROUND! They can dig like a sonofabitch, big monsters, underground, now get out! Hurry!
[the wall of Burt's rec room begins to shake and bow, tools fall to the floor as the monster bursts through the bricks]
Burt Gummer : [over radio] Jesus Chri...!
[transmission turns to static]
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Valentine McKee : Who died and made you Einstein?
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[Valentine and Earl get chased by a Graboid, they get trapped in an empty canal until the Graboid makes a huge crack in the wall]
Earl Bassett : [realizes nothing's happening] Stupid son-of-a-bitch. It knocked itself cold.
[the Graboid's snake tongue dangles lifelessly followed by bleeding]
Valentine McKee : Cold my ass. He's *dead.* We killed it.
[long pause]
Valentine McKee : [triumphantly] We killed it! FUCK! YOU!
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[first lines]
Valentine McKee : [seeing Earl sleeping in the back of the truck] Good morning, Mr. Basset. This is your wake-up call.
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Valentine McKee : Earl explained it to me: we plan ahead, that way, we don't do anything right now.
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Valentine McKee : That's how they git you. They're under the goddamned ground!
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Valentine McKee : They're under the ground. They're under the ground!
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Valentine McKee : [looking at Old Fred's messed-up corral with chunks of dead sheep lying on the ground] What the shit?
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Earl Bassett : [Graboid eats Rhonda's shovel] Don't he have a home to go to?
Valentine McKee : That's why Edgar never got down off that damn tower.
Rhonda LeBeck : I think I have an idea.
Earl Bassett : You know, we're gonna have to come up with some sort of plan, he's just going to wait us to death.
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Earl Bassett : [Earl and Val have fled from the creatures into a concrete trench. One of the creatures crashes through the wall] Stupid sumbitch. Knocked itself cold.
Valentine McKee : Cold my ass. He's *dead.* We killed it! We killed it! FU--UCK! YOU!
Rhonda LeBeck : Hey guys! What's going on?
[Not seeing the monster's corpse]
Rhonda LeBeck : Did you notice anything weird a minute ago? I mean, it just hap-
[finally seeing the creature]
Rhonda LeBeck : What's that?