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Reviews
Duncan (2020)
Look... Just hear me out
I get it. This was made to poke some serious fun at the "right people". I get it. But let's just take some time to appreciate this movie. Despite its small budget, the cinematography is stellar; the characters are so dang fun; the dialogue is equal parts absurd and believable (let's be honest. I've heard some insane conversations over the years, I am sure you have as well). I was pleasantly surprised by this film. If you are open minded, please give this film a chance.
Dating & New York (2021)
Y'all need to chill
I can understand not finding the humor to be "relevant" to older viewers, but some people are rating this movie poorly without even having the decency of finishing it. I almost changed the channel before 10min even passed but I stuck it out and ended up enjoying it. It was cute. It was clever. Nothing to write home about but it was good. Yes, there were some serious continuity issues, but, overall, I didn't feel like I wasted my time watching it.
Bo Burnham: Inside (2021)
My word...
Just experience it for yourself then get back to me.
Army of the Dead (2021)
Help me
"Why is this happening" and "why did that even happen" were the two questions I kept asking myself watching this movie. Why bother having someone tell us they have NEVER killed a zombie only to have her turn into John Wick and proceed to kill more zombies than the freaking nuke does?? Why were there terminator zombies with metal skulls that's sparkled? I honestly thought there was going to be an M Night twist once I started noticing it. Why waste so much time on that one dumb lady just to have her die in the last minute?? Why give Vandy a mystery bite when we don't actually see him get bitten? We get a good look at the arm right after the "bite" and oh look, no marks. The infection takes minutes up to an hour to take effect. My guy had time to survive the nuclear blast, find a way to get out of the vault, haul heavy bags of money across the Nevada desert to reach his secluded shack, drive to Utah, rent a plane in Utah, fly from Utah to Mexico city and then started feeling sick. Dude had gone A WHILE without noticing that bite mark underneath his stupid scarf. This movie was dumb and I thought my eyes were broken because everything kept fading in and out of focus.
Isekai Mao to Shokan Shojo no Dorei Majutsu (2018)
Ecchi is gonna ecchi but...
What's with the morality lesson at end? If you just want to show me big breasts and skirt the line of what's appropriate with prepubescent girls fine. But Alicia slaughtered towns with her own hands. Why the lesson on self forgiveness? I get it's a silly tv show but pick a lane
The Office (2005)
Well that was a show
I watched it. Won't rewatch. That's all I got for this.
Tank Girl (1995)
Yeah.
That's about it. Wasn't terrible. (And now I will keep typing until
Akame ga Kill! (2014)
Ugh....
Look.. I really REALLY don't want to be that guy but this show really makes it hard to ignore. Let's just get this part out of the way... I understand that the fantasy genre is for wish fulfillment but this gets a to point of excess in one aspect alone. It's not a bad thing, mind you, just something that a little annoying for me.
John Henry (2020)
Woof......
I mean.... I don't even... But.. just.... There are so many things happening that it is difficult to pick apart all of the problems. We get an opening scene that was made by someone who has seen a few too many Tarantino movies, random clips of a vhs tape that don't lead to anything, just so much about nothing. Terry Crews, I love you in everything you do; Ludacris, I appreciate you wanting to flex your swagger as a villain..... This movie ain't it....
Ghost in the Shell (2017)
Shame
This movie ruins the spirit of the original film. I don't want a shot for shot remake of the REAL Ghost in the Shell movie, creative license and all that jazz. But when adapting something, don't you think it is a good idea to stick to the original identity? Look at what happened with Man of Steel vs Brightburn. Both dealt with Superman, but one of them violated the original ideal of Superman while the other harmlessly just made a "what if" scenario.
Cosmos (2019)
Rated by the same people who can't watch football due to lack of commercials
On a serious note, this is a solid movie. Slow at the beginning but they make up for it with a little tongue in cheek action by the end of it. Definitely a movie for those who already have an interest in science and futurism.
Solar Opposites (2020)
And this is why R&M is always behind
I'm not complaining. Kind of taking the Family Guy/ American Dad approach. One being over the top, the other taking a more "grounded" style of storytelling. I'm game. I am judging this separately. Just keep in mind we are also supposed to get 70 more episodes for R&M. I wonder how that will go.
Haikyû!! (2014)
Grade-A for character development, action, and story arcs
The characters and various teams are so well developed that it is hard not to root for the teams our protagonists are playing against (Kuroo being my personal favorite). You get a feel for each player's quirks and attitude. You get just as excited seeing Kenma flexing his intellect as much as you love Hinata's grit. Off the top of my head I just can't think of any negatives.
MUST WATCH
Bumblebee (2018)
It's Bad
It's Bad. This movie is bad. It just isn't a good movie. The movie is bad. No es bueno. Like how? You know what. No. This movie is still playing and I am baffled how anyone allowed this to happen. This is a bad movie.
Underwater (2020)
Visually Impressive. That's where it stops
I love my Lovecraft Ian, cosmic horror about as much as anyone else. I also don't mind the action taking place after only 2min of show time. "Neat! More time for them to discover the threat while showcasing character development organically and not showcasing the bare minimum." But I didn't get that. I got something that looked fun but nothing more substantial than a "we shouldn't be here" explanation. Anyway, this quarentine has me with a lot of time on my hands but I can't say that I enjoyed the time I spent watching this. I'll go back to playing my Eldritch Horror board game.
Rampage: President Down (2016)
You miss every swing you don't take (I think that's right)
I can applaud sticking to your guns but this was just sloppy on so many fronts. Reusing footage from past movies to eat up time, socio-political commentary that requires more than 2min to resolve, half baked philosophy lessons, and a random love connection that no one needed or even asked for. Seriously? Why was she even added to the script?? I really enjoyed the first Rampage. I accept that the second movie exists. This one just should have never been made - but I respect the effort. A passion project through and through to end a career.
Cake (2019)
Not bad
The show certainly can be hit or miss with a few episodes. I am sure that a lot of the poor reviews are from people who might be looking for something a bit cleaner and more cohesive story wise. While I'm not the biggest fan of the psuedo-philisophical monologues, I like the wonky animations and the freedom that comes from random sketches with underlying messages.
"Jay" is my personal favorite bit.
The Last Airbender (2010)
I'm not mad. I'm not mad. I'm envious
No one. Literally, NO ONE in America has a job where they could pull an M. Night Shamayalan at their place of business and still be asked to continue working. If I pulled an M Night at my job, I'd be fired and then sued for negligence. I could have left this review years ago but I needed to grow. I needed to experience the world in all of it's ambiguity. I wanted to come back to this movie a changed man - a more mature man with a new perspective. I am changed. I have a wife. I have a beautiful baby girl. I hate this movie. I would trade it all to be M. Night Shamayalan
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003)
Upon revisiting.....
There's no way around this.. the movie ain't great. I loved this as a kid and rewatching it as an adult (thanks, Covid-19), the problems with this movie get harder and harder to ignore once the Nautilus starts picking up steam.
Let's just get this out of the way. LITERALLY, the entire plot falls apart once you ask "why." If you want to start a world war, WHY would you create the Avengers who just so happen to be the only force in the world that can stop you? If you wanted to collect skin samples, blood, yadda yadda, WHY get them all in one room to be apart of a team with the express purpose of thwarting your plans? You already had access to Nemo for technology, you already had Skinner for skin, you already knew that Mary what's-her-face was a vampire, and you already knew where Hyde was located. You didn't need to give them the means to stop you if you were just going to double cross them halfway through the movie. You even left them a recording of your plans just to show how smart you are but you could have had these things already. We know you had Nemo's technology for months, if not years, because you had 8 Nautili in the works. We know you are talented chemists because Dorian gave you the samples MAYBE a few days before they showed up and you were able to yield positive results.
Enjoyed the movie but enjoying something and evaluating it for quality are two separate things.
Captain Marvel (2019)
I tried.... I really, REALLY tried...
I don't exactly know where to start with this one. Is it the lack of character development; maybe the all too predictable storyline? Oh, MAYBE it was the objective, observable fact that Brie Lawson looks sooooo uninterested the entire time. Let us not forget that Ms "Smile More" over here doesn't have to do ANYTHING to unlock her potential - no extensive training, no character arc, no true failure, no growth... Well, that's not entirely true. She does have to pull off a "nothing suspicious here" nicotine patch. I tried. I really did. There is some foolishness going on if this has anything about a 5.
A Wrinkle in Time (2018)
Bruh.... The Things We Do for Love Right?
Look.... This movie was so bad that I made an active choice to make a log in account just to leave this review. It has no substance, no real plot, no philosophical backbone, and no sense whatsoever. I sat through it though. I sat through each nonsensical scene change, "emotional payout", and the acting. I have to die knowing that a small chunk of my brain will remember the disappointment I have for two things - this movie and myself for not having the balls to tell my spouse "NO!"........