Change Your Image
jimdavidson-19532
Reviews
Diverge (2016)
Straight out of the Powerbook of the worst Hollywood hack
Disjointed would be a better name. But I suppose anything passes as "art" these days one can imagine the roots of this foofer. Barrista: "Hey, you want another double light skim almond latte?" Writer: "Not now. I'm working on my tour de force, my submission to Cannes. It's brilliant. It writes itself, requires no skilled actors and can be entirely filmed with one camera crew in Death Valley and Santa Monica." Barrista: "So let me know when you want a refill."
Swallow (2019)
Hollywood runs out of ideas
Not sure what to make out of this yarn. It failed on so many levels.
Life Below Zero: Next Generation: Ghost in the Woods (2021)
A Pair of Morons Pointlessly Investigate a Bear De
It doesn't get much dumber. A husband wife pinhead pair living in the subzero tundra of Alaska decide to pointlessly investigate whether a bear den is occupied in the middle of winter. No reason in particular. Just curiosity. One is left baffled. Why take such an unnecessary risk? I suspect it's the prompting of a reality TV producer. Or it's faked. Either way, one star says it all.
Brad Meltzer's Lost History: The Ground Zero Flag (2014)
So Meltzer thinks a stolen flag is an iconic image
Three firemen acquire a flag stolen from a couple's boat in NYC. They take the flag and raise it on a flag pole over Ground Zero in a manner obviously attempting to plagiarize the raising of the flag over Iwo Jima, and Brad Meltzer considers the flag to have some holy significance. Wow! I wouldn't want to have to rely on Meltzer's moral compass to accurately point in the directions of right and wrong.
The Breaking Point (1950)
Meandering story
Hemingway must have been on a bender when he cranked out this yarn. It's got everything that a thirty-year-running soap opera could squeeze into two hours. The only thing recognizable (spoiler alert) is the end: Farewell to arm. Still, I'll give it five stars since I was convincingly suckered into wasting nearly two hours of my life hoping that a story would unfold.
Devil Winds (2003)
Painful to watch
Poor scripting, poor acting, poor directing and poor special effects come together into a rare F-5 cataclysm that dwarfs the devil winds arising from a diet of chili and cheese compounded by three days of constipation.
Ghosts of Morgan City: The Man in Black (2019)
Yet Another Ghost Hunting Show
The novelty twists that these clowns usually insert into their quasi-reality TV show involves technology. This one involved a space age helmet designed to bath the wearer's brain in magnet fields and flashing LEDs and trigger some kind of "I see dead people" sixth sense. Sadly, the neurotic wearing the helmet breaks into crying jags and skitterish movements. It's a sad commentary on fake ghost hunting.
Ghost Nation: A Nightmare in the Nursery (2019)
The Ghost Hunter Juggernaut Continues
Same old same old. A continuation of the fraud that for so many years spearheaded reality television's repackaging of the Spiritualism scams a hundred years earlier. This yarn takes place in a perfect venue, a rural country home with a reputation for (spoiler) apparently an evil old lady who dies from broken hip injuries and (spoiler) and a suicidal young man who met his untimely end in a jump from second story jump. The video proving it all (spoiler) a poorly doctored video of an apparition crossing through a child's nursery. Sadly, itlooks like we can look for another ten years if this garbage.
Mysteries of the Missing: Flight of Terror (2017)
Poor Analysis
This episode fails miserably as it attempts to analyze the cause of the crash of Air France flight AF477 . It's conclusion is that the cause is related to heavy reliance of computer automation. The fact is there were three air data systems onboard the aircraft, all produced by Thule. All of them failed (their pitot tubes froze over) resulting in a faulty true air speed measurement. This was a known design flaw which had been corrected in Thule's competitor.
Unfortunately, AF chose to equip their aircraft using all Thule air data systems. This is a fundamental mistake. When redundancy is required it is always best to have dissimilar designs in place. This prevents common design flaws from allowing erroneous sensor data from being used.
Why Air France chose do this and when the JAA allowed it is a mystery but there may have been a number of reasons. Cost is one. Another is the fact that Thule was a European company and their competitor was an American company. We may never know for certain but one thing is certain: It wasn't reliance on automation that downed AF447.
Amish Haunting: Pilot: Faceless Doll/The Witch's Grave (2014)
Painfully fake
Television interviews with supposed Amish women with perfectly plucked eye brows and coiffured hair. An evil doll that possesses a small child. All of the elements of an entertaining fake story that pegs the bulls**t meter.
Emergence (2019)
Submergence
It's amazing what little Hollywood can do these days with a reasonably good cast of Canadian actors, a talented special effects crew, and lackluster writers with blockbuster credits to their resumes like "I was a Barista at Starbucks" and "I was a Bartender at Applebee's".
Atomic Blonde (2017)
Anemic blonde
Another Hollywood delivery vehicle. A star is born! To bad they didn't spend more than four figures on a decent writing. The only thing that brings this movie back to life are the grim scenes of East Germany and a lesbian clam hunt.
The Bad Seed (2018)
Hollywood once again ruins a remake
It's hard to fathom what goes through the minds of Hollywood producers these days. They remake a classic and leave an imprint of bad acting, bad directing and bad rewriting. It's as it a bunch of stoned writers sit around in a Starbucks in from of their Powerbooks, steal an idea, then, one after another, start pulling "brilliant" ideas out of their asses.
Ghost Adventures: Mount Wilson Ranch (2019)
Professional Paranormal Investigators?
Lots of squealing investigators. Not what you would expect from professionals who have been investigating these kinds of places for many years. Hacks at best, with questionable methods and questionable results. I know less about Mount Wilson Ranch now than when I started watching this garbage.
Paul, Apostle of Christ (2018)
Bloody and Tedious
Christian entertainment, whether in the form of music, movies or books, is big bucks but not necessarily educational nor entertaining. Sadly, this attempt at trying to fill in the Biblical gaps in Luke's visit to Paul in prison as he awaits execution by behead, fails to both educate or entertain. At best it is bloody and tedious. Save yourself some time and watch "Resident Evil". It may not educate you but at least you'll be entertained.
Star Trek: The Next Generation: Ethics (1992)
Platitudes
Maybe one of the worst episodes. The writers couldn't decide whether the story should be about the right to choose one's death or experimental medicine and taking risks to preserve life. In typical poorly conceived fashion, the writers chose to push both agendas, then punish the researcher who made life possible. Another bad episode straight of the the worst Hollywood hack's Powerbook.
The Curse of Oak Island: Short Days and Tall Knights (2019)
More nothing
Hard to say what happened but what's clear is they haven't found anything. Sad to see that the History Channel has devolved to the point of turning this schlock into a recurring reality show.
Star Trek: The Next Generation: Who Watches the Watchers (1989)
Who's watching "Who Watches the Wtchers?"
It's a mystery who writes this garbage. I think the final stomach turner for me is when Riker, masquerading as one of the locals on the planet. executes a fireman's carriage on a wounded Federation researcher. instead of immediately beaming off to the ship, he waits carries the guy for several minutes, drawing the undesired attention of the locals. Poor writing, poor direction, and a sign of the collapse of yet another spawn of Star Trek.
Star Trek: Voyager: Collective (2000)
Well written but the decline i the series can be seen
Probably the only failings in this story are the authoritarian role of the captain, a typical failing of this juggernaut as the series winds down, and the demotion of Seven of Nine, arguably the best character, to the role of babysitter.
Star Trek: Voyager: Prey (1998)
Psychobabble at its worst
What more can be said. Another crappy Voyager episode straight out of the Powerbook of the worst Hollywood hack.
Star Trek: Voyager: Scorpion, Part II (1997)
Poor writing
There is a powerful scene where the doctor is telling Chakotay that the captain, after being injured by an alien, may never regain consciousness. At the end of the scene (30 seconds later) the doctor tells Chakotay that the captain wants to talk to him. Poor writing. Lazy editing. A sign that the series was on the downswing.
Naked and Afraid: Lost at Sea (2017)
The lady and the mouse
Not too much to be said. She (the dive master) was useful. He (the Navy Seal) was useless. She would've been better off peeling off and letting him survive on water.
Scotty and the Secret History of Hollywood (2017)
An interesting view into the parallel universe of Hollywood
Poignant at times. A thought provoking expose of the unhinged, unhindered and decadent world of gay Hollywood from the 40s and beyond. It seems to fall short in presenting the sadness that infuses the lives of people who are driven not only to succeed in Hollywood but to engage in raw, compulsive sex. There is a pathology here which Bowers, a pimp, tries to convey as being "endless fun" which is sad and empty and lead to depression and suicide in many. The documentary falls short of addressing this issue.
Forbidden History: Inside the Cult of Satan (2016)
Interesting Subject - Uninteresting Presentation of the Subject
Sadly the authors of this so called "documentary" bathe the subject using the very symbols, rituals and imagery that Crowley himself employed to lure followers. The result is a self-negating expose which fails to penetrate the depths which Crowley's genius explores in his efforts to create a religion which perfectly inverts mainstream Christianitys.
There's plenty of shock: Descriptions sacrifices, orgies, bestiality, worthy of shock but nothing which elevates the viewer's understanding of the religion. But if your goal is shock then there are much better video clips on the net that can give you the buttered popcorn satisfaction of an hour of horror.
The Watcher (2016)
A great treatment for insomnia
Poorly acted, poorly directed horror yarn with a script straight off the folds of a stack of Starbuck's napkins. There's only one memorable scene. It's a bed scene. One of the actresses rolls over and turns her back on her partner/love interest/whatever then tells him: "I'm tired... I just want to go to sleep..." It was a moment of honestly that I shared because it was at about this time that I nodded off.