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Reviews
Road Train (2010)
As an Aussie, all I can say is I'm so very sorry
Yes, I'm an Aussie and yes, I am currently watching this absolutely dreadful movie so that you don't have to.
Xavier Samuel is actually capable of some decent acting, but not in this pile of drivel.
I can say that in many years of country driving I have never been overtaken by a road train. I would be the one doing the overtaking.
Also, driverless road trains??? Are they even a thing???
Rubbish acting. One dimensional characters, ridiculous indescipherable plot, unfathomable behaviour by those same characters.
Again, can I say that I am so very sorry for inflicting this pile of rubbish onto the unsuspecting public.
It's no Wolf Creek, even the wolves in this rubbish movie are German Shepherds.
7500 (2019)
Almost overwhelmingly realistic
I watched this film last night and didn't actually know if I could make it to the end. My response to a certain scene/s was so visceral that I almost stopped watching.
Glad I didn't.
Such a good film. The acting is superb and Joseph Gordon-Levitt, as always, is just so good. Completely believeable.
I didn't know the premise of the movie when I watched it. Just saw a still of JGL in a cockpit and the title 7500,
It is a tense and very believable thriller and I highly recommend this movie.
This is the first 9 I've ever given a movie but will now go and do a review for 'Split' with James McAvoy. Another amazing actor who is just transcendant in that movie.
The Sanctuary (2019)
OH DEAR GOD...THE HUMANITY
Don't waste your time on this campfire horror story.
This is a dreadful film. The acting is far from good and the two main characters are made up to try and look a good 20 years older than they are but it's pretty bleeding obvious it's makeup. So obvious.
As for them acting as if they're elderly, it doesn't work. It's a joke.
Often actors trying to act as if they're old is not great at the best of times and these are not the best of times by a long shot.
The storyline is not bad in itself. I'm sure has been done before and done a lot better. This film is truly awful.
I would not recommend this film to anyone.
This review does not contain spoilers because quite frankly, nothing I say could spoil this movie more than the acting does.
The Strain (2014)
NOT WORTH THE EFFORT
This series started so well and I enjoyed the first few episodes and then the it just went downhill. Fast.
Overacting by the main characters was dreadful. Loved some of the actors but in the end I was fast forwarding past the awful, over the top, ham acting of David Bradley playing. Abraham Setrakian and Jonathan Hyde who played Eldritch Palmer. Oh dear god they were so bad. I literally could not stand to hear them speak.
Accents came and went. Russian and American accents became American and English.
This series became so one dimensional, just ridiculous and boring, so boring.
I won't even bother to see the final season.
Absolutely loved Richard Sammel as the baddie Thomas Eichorst, he was perfect. Also Rupert Penry-Jones as the hybrid Mr Quinlan. I can listen to his voice all day.
Aftermath (2021)
WTF DID I JUST WATCH
This film started out well and ended abysmally.
It doesn't know what it wants to be, supernatural, horror, drama, action, a love story??? Are they being tormented by something supernatural? Is it someone with a vendetta? A serial killer?
The sister goes missing and her absence is never brought up again, ever!
Their dog is poisoned and they are over his death almost immediately.
Also, I thought I was hearing things when the paramedic said someone might have a "slight fracture". I mean come on !! Sure a hairline fracture maybe but a 'slight' fracture? Nope.
Too much going on to be any sort of decent film
I gave it 3 stars because the acting was good, even if the script was not.
Risen (2021)
Way better than some of the Aussie rubbish out there
I was a little surprised that this film was not total rubbish. It looks like it was made on the cheap - very cheap - but it has some appeal.
I went in not knowing anything about it and although there were a few accents, the Aussie one kept coming through and I figured it might be Australian. It was. I'm an Aussie, I notice real Aussie accents.
I have seen so much worse, some of the big budget films are not as enterrtaining as this one.
Don't expect expensive sets but do keep an open mind. I was surprised and pleased that a low budget film from Australia could be quite decent.
Claw (2021)
SURPRISINGLY GOOD
I expected another cruddy creature feature and was pleasantly surprised with this movie. The acting was very good. The CG was pretty good and all in all it was a fun watch.
There was a couple of minutes right before the end that I thought was not funny at all. Thankfully it did not end on that.
Apart from that one bit, very, very watchable.
Good fun.
Grace (2014)
DREADFUL
Do not waste your time. This crappy POV film is not worth watching. I made it to the end, but only because I was playing a game whilst it was on. It is pathetic. Joel David Moore was good, but he always is. Poor Lin Shaye was playing such a one dimensional character she had no hope.
Give this one a miss !
The Body Tree (2017)
Oh so average
I got bored and didn't bother finishing it.
I skipped to the end to find out whodunnit and was annoyed at that too.
Breach (2020)
JUST DREADFUL ()but I had to watch it until the end)
Bruce, what are you doing in such a third rate move....again. He totally phoned in this performance. Not good at all.
Thomas Jane - wearing sunglasses inside a spaceship is just a total tool move. Just a dumb role really.
The acting was subpar and honestly, that guy, Timothy V Murphy, jesus. He screams at people in what I assume is supposed to be an Army type manner but honestly, he just made me want to tell him to STFU. THE most dreadful yelling voice I've ever heard. JUST SHUT UP TIMOTHY, no-one needs to hear that s#!t !!
This was a dreadfully cheap movie. Badly acted, ridiculous goings on. Honestly, firing machine gun like devices INSIDE a spaceship. What is going on?
Too many bad things for me to write.
Split (2016)
Is there anything James McAvoy cannot do??
I just watched "Split" for the second time and I have to say that James McAvoy is brilliant in this.
His acting is superb.
The whole movie is excellent and one I would most heartily recommend.
Possibly M Night's best.
Bloody Hell (2020)
This was an unexpected treasure
I was so happy to finally come across a decent horror movie. This was an unexpected treasure. Well acted - although as an Aussie I hated the forced American accents - and unexpectedly good.
Twists and turns.
A GOOD AUSSIE FLICK.
So worth watching.
Brawl in Cell Block 99 (2017)
Loved it. Vince Vaughan in the role of his career. WARNING - MAJOR SPOILER.
Not a movie I would have picked to watch, but I did and thoroughly enjoyed it. Vince Vaughan was wonderful. In fact, the film was wonderfully acted and the script was tight. The only thing that ruined it for me was the final frame. It would have been so much better had the film ended without the bullet to the head. The dummy head they used was SO obviously a dummy head.
Blood Relative (2017)
A truly awful film
What can you say about a film like this. A religious vigilante. Some dreadful acting. A cruddy script. I sat through it so you don't have to.
Pledge (2018)
I give this movie a sold 7.
I have just watched "The Pledge" and was pleasantly surprised. It was very watchable, had a pretty good story and a good ending. The actors were great, they did a fine job. None of them were known to me and I was again, pleasantly surprised. I can recommend this one.
Infected Paradise (2014)
THIS IS THE PITS, BUT IT'S FILMED IN PERTH AND ROTTNEST
Shockingly bad zombie movie. Such incredibly bad acting and directing. I only watched it because it was filmed in Perth and on Rottnest Island. Watch it if you like bad horror movies and like to poke fun at them, otherwise run, do not walk, to the nearest exit.
Beautiful Beast (2013)
Not the worst movie ever, watchable but several references to believing in god
It's a lightweight, fairly decent movie if you like powderpuff pieces about horrible, vacuous, unpleasant, unkind, rich women who change the habits of a lifetime within a few weeks, all because they find the right man (and maybe god), this is the movie for you.
The acting is passable, although not wonderful. The female lead seems several years too old for the role and for her behaviour. Also it would have been nice if someone had told her to cut the last 6 inches of dry, split ends from her hair.
I was going to give it 4 stars but took off 2 of them because too much god at the end.