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jacklittler-19012
Reviews
Halloween (2018)
If you watch this as a comedy - its halerious
Hard spoilers - just beware.
So this movie is fantastic if you find inconsistencies and utterly stupid characters funny.
First off. A dad and his son go hunting and come across a crashed prison bus, with multiple convicts in full prison attire walking around. What does the dad do? Gets out and goes for a walk and leaves his kid in the parked car with all the convicts walking around. The doctor in the bus with them, who's completely okay with strangers coming into his facility to wave murderous objects in front of his patients btw, is left unharmed by all the convicts. Obviously they have killed all the guards, but not the doctor. The kid then shoots the doctor at point blank range with a large hunting rifle through the chest / shoulder area.
Then the 2 almost main characters so far are instantly killed off and we're given new characters to root for.
The doctor appears again after only a few hours of being shot with a sling and no other issues, seems the bullet barely affected the small old man at all.
Then Jamie finds out he's escaped. Tries to tell her daughter- doesn't manage to, then gives in trying, and decides a long car ride would be better than a phone call. Doesn't even bother trying to tell her grand daughter for a couple of hours.
The police know he's escaped, but rather than go to the town where he's heading they just wait at the police station until he's already killed half a dozen people.
Then Jamie manages to shoot him through the chest, but rather than chasing after a man she could safely assume she has seriously wounded if not killed, she just let's him walk away and has a chat with the police. Bare in mind, she still hasn't told any of her family a psychopathic murder is in town killing people.
Then the doctor, with one arm, after being shot only very recently, manages to carry and unconcious Michael- a very large man, and put him into the back of a police car with the grand daughter. Michael's favourite thing to kill - teenage girls, I mean, he'll kill anything he can, the moment he can, but he definitely loves killing teens. So anyway he's in the back of this police car with this teen, the grand daughter of his most hated target, and when he wakes up, he simply puts his mask back on, and kicks through the reinforced police grating. Then with the teenage girl screaming next to him, he simply gets out and leaves her...
He heads towards Jamie's house, must have sat nav and her address I assume, the girl decides it would also be a good idea to go to the same place as Michael. Shes running for her life through the woods even though Michael isn't even chasing her... then when she gets to the house, and just in case Michael changes his mind about killing, she kindly let's him know where she is by screaming.
None of the family go looking for the teen and leave her on her own, the dad, whilst a psycho killer is on the loose, decides to open the gate and go check on the police in the dark, then hangs out for a bit without looking around him after seeing the police are dead. I'd also like to point out that at no point does he go out looking for his only child, despite her not answering her phone and being no where to be found. Actually none of her family go out to look for her... at all. Savage.
Jamie and the mum are in the panic room now. Shes also put cameras all around her house. Are the screens to the cameras inside the panic room you ask? Nope, every panic room on the entire planet puts its screens in there, but not our Jamie! They're in the living room. The panic room is in the basement and is very well hidden, must of cost a fortune for that door. So when Michael is in the house the first thing they do is shoot through the floor at him, kindly letting him know where they are. Yes. Shes spent thousands on fortifying her house and decades doing naught but preparing, and decides the best thing for a panic room ceiling.... is a thin plank of wood.
Jamie decides to use a long shotgun for close combat in a very narrow space. And goes after him, the mum, who has also been well trained and has access to several firearms, decides it best to leave her elderly grandma to face Michael alone. Surprisingly enough she doesn't have enough time to point the long gun at Michael before he grabs her. However, as an old lady, when pinned against the wall, she does manage to push the giant unkillable man off her. The same guy that just kicked through a reinforced police car cage. Adrenaline I guess.
She's set up locked doors around the house, but no cameras, no traps, just. Doors.
The teen finally enters the house and calls for help. Her mother? Oh she's just chilling in the panic room. Does she arm herself and run to her daughter to warn her of the killer in the house that could murder her at any second? Nope. She waits a little then opens the trap door.
With all the guns to choose from - the women wisely choose a single knife to defend themselves.
They manage to trap Michael in the panic room. Then rather than using a shotgun to blow him to tiny pieces, they decide to destroy her entire home by setting it on fire. Do they shoot him first? Do they make sure he's dead? Do they watch him die? And come on, Jamie really wants to kill this guy, really wants to watch him suffer, but decides she'd rather burn her house down and leave it to fate.
Needless to say - I was howling with laughter the entire movie and was routing for Michael to kill all these pathetically stupid characters. Im a little surprised there wasn't more backlash for portraying women as such weak and dumb people, I know I'd be a little offended if I was female. Nothing about this movie made it feel like a horror apart from the blood.
But like I said - if you're looking for a comedy horror like scary movie, this is a great film.
A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017)
A series of the same unfortunate event repeating itself.
I'm at season 2 episode 5 and I just cannot go on.
Kids go somewhere. Olaf tortures them. They escape.
Kids go somewhere. Olaf wears different clothes and puts on an accent which every one believes. Olaf tortures kids. They escape.
Kids go somewhere. Olaf wears different clothes and puts on an accent which every one believes. Olaf tortures kids. They escape.
Kids go somewhere. Olaf wears different clothes and puts on an accent which every one believes. Olaf tortures kids. They escape.
This happens around 6 (? Ive lost count) times so far.
I don't know if this is a spoiler because I seem to be one of very few who seem capable of seeing just horrible this series is.
How this has go such good reviews is honestly beyond me.