ninja-89635 Reviews

Arendelle Castle Yule Log (2019 Video)

A waste of time

[4/10 · 29 December 2020]

The film is a continuous three-hour long scene of a yule log burning in Arendelle Castle's fireplace. I have seen many similar films as this before, such as Andy Warhol's Empire or all seven of Nigel Tomm's films, which are just 63 minutes of the same coloured screen; white, red, yellow, etc. They were all just a waste of time, largely reducing the experience and enjoyment of cinema to the passing of time. Naturally, of course, the film is also a waste of time. Unlike the aforementioned, however, this is only meant to run in the background, as a nice fireplace, to be a substitute for a real one, though your family would have to really love the Frozen franchise to pick this over footage of a real one.

While the sound of the fire crackling is certainly soothing and relaxing, and the fire itself is well-animated, the film is not charming nor unique. The logs the fire is burning on are unchanging, and the same few seconds long animation is looped for over three-hours. A real one with actually changing wood would be much nicer and relaxing. Furthermore, there are no easter eggs or other moving scenes. I realise I signed up to see a fireplace, however I have watched way more interesting backdrops of fireplaces on YouTube, ones with windows were snowing outside was visible, or the fire place was elegantly decorated. The least Disney could do is at least provide an easter egg! Watching footage of a real, non-looped fireplace on YouTube or Vimeo would be much more entertaining, pleasant and worth while than this.

Mark Forward Presents: Mark Forward (2018 Video)

Where is the funny?

[5/10 · 14 May 2020]

I struggled to find the funny of this "comedy" special. The audience laughter is also so fake; in between telling the joke, even before the punchline, the audience bursts into laughter. I have always been one for stand-up black comedy - in fact he goes into pretty dark places, such as a segment where he talked about killing squirrels - but I struggle to find how anyone can find this funny, the only thing I laughed at was how bad this comedy special was.

At the start of the special, he was really quiet and seemed a little unconfident, but he opened up more later. In one of the early segments, he talks about how old people should be put down at one-hundred years, and while there was one point I found really funny, the segment lasted way too long, and the joke of telling old people to be put down got old quickly; it went on for a few minutes.

By now he seemed to open up more at the end and get more comfortable, having a louder and more confidence voice, and more intense expressions. As mentioned earlier, his segment about squirrels was actually really funny. He raised his voice at the right times, his impressions were hilarious, and his story telling got me really invested. It was dark too and I absolutely loved it - I do not want to spoil any of the jokes but it gets violent and abso-bloody-lutely messy.

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end, as did the quality of this special. He turned to playing the guitar and occasionally said some minor things, which, I kid you not, the fake audience laughed every time he spoke, even if it was not a joke, or even meant to be funny. He made more unexpected jokes throughout, which gave to be a hit-or-miss. He tackles 9/11 after that, though he criticised a certain aspect of the media rather than making any really offensive jokes, which I can respect. There were seriously no notable or remotely funny jokes after that, except in one of the segments he killed someone over a fancy hat... yup.

4.9/10, would not recommend.

My Little Pony: Best Gift Ever (2018 TV Movie)

Surprisingly Very Good!

[8/10 · 31 October 2018]

At first I thought this would be your average television-show Christmas special, but I was definitely wrong! This was actually a really good MLP TV Special. It was always interesting and I never got bored. It was also really funny, and I also really liked the references to other Christmas films, like Elf and A Charlie Brown Christmas. It also had a really good message!

Plus, this film got me really excited for MLP season 9! Highly recommend to fans of MLP and anyone who just generally loves Christmas films! 8/10