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Reviews
Bright (2017)
A steaming pile of orc scat
This cost 90 million, it must be money laundering. I pray this is David Ayer's final film, it's actually worse than Suicide Squad. The executive at Netflix who greenlit this must've been on a week long cocaine bender when he did so. Everything about this bland boring movie is generic and lacklustre beyond imagination, it's so bad finishing it is like hitting rock bottom - you'll rethink your life afterwards, that's the sole positive of this movie. It's such a low energy, slow paced movie that looks like budget despite it's extravagant budget.
Avoid at all costs, don't say I didn't warn you.
Rupture (2016)
Absolute garbage, not even Noomi redeems it
Good on the crew for trying. They made a movie, that's more than most of us have done. Unfortunately the movie they made is a huge steaming pile of mammal excrement not worth watching, not even for die-hard Noomi rapace fans.
Script: terrible... Acting: terrible...Digital camera used: terrible... Editing: terrible... Sounds: terrible
It's truly awful. But go ahead and watch it, see for yourself if you don't believe me :)
Fight Valley (2016)
An actual MMA beating is preferable to this steaming excrement
If it were a student film, they'd barely pass, despite their $27,000,000 budget! (Could've fed 14k African villages for a decade - yes, I did the math).
Plot summary: remember that episode of friends, where Monica's millionaire boyfriend Jon Favrau wanted to suddenly become the UFC champion? That's the plot here, except with an all female cast in the ghetto.
The script is as stale as Adam Sandler's rotten tomatoes average. The acting as stiff as the late Roger Ebert's jaw.
Everything is awful. The sound, the cameras used, the editing, the sets, the make up, etc...
The single redeeming feature this film has is it's numerous lingering shots of Miesha Tate's ass.
Imagine Brock Lesnar reciting Shakespeare; same thing.