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Reviews
The Matrix Resurrections (2021)
WAIT TILL VHS TAPE RELEASE
Honestly, in all seriousness, this is the worst movie i can remember in a long long time because of the existing cast and crew and budget. There is no scenematic feeling or special effects in the movie apart from some reflective puddles at the beginning and then a series of kinda funny but kinda serious connections to whats going on in our society today then.......mind numbing action scenes mixed with poorly scripted character building moments gives you a rather upset feeling when the credits roll at the end.
I usually stay to the end end incase of a egg or trailer etc for any movie i have interest in seeing at all, I waited till the end of Beowulf incase there was anything as that sparked a 5% interest level, i walked out as soon as that first Matrix credit name appeared so I could forget the abuse Keanu and co endured.
No offense to the actors as they did their best having to work being filmed in showbox locations with poor camera angles and depth along with poor sets and a script that should have never seen the light of day or wasting printer ink and paper or anyones times that sees this clipshowesque montage flashbacky crap rushed movie experience.
Dougie Howsers/Barney's best movie roles still being Starship Troopers and Harold and Kumar go to white castle.
Minutes to Midnight (2018)
Boobs, blood and bad acting galore
You are going to watch this movie to see boobs, blood and bad acting from actors who should be at the glue factory. This movie is in the bad but good bag category if you can watch b grade movies. Mr Haim and Fieldman would have done this movie on a bag of Bolivias finest and gone straight to VHS.
What the heck happened to Richard Grieco?
In a nutshell, bad acting sprinkled in between kills and the occasional thrill. By thrills I literally mean 3 pairs of to be honest nice breastesses throughout the first middle half of the 'movie'. The shower scene may as well have had a phone number to call now.
There are so many plot holes and poorly filmed/edited/special effects that this movie may as well have been about swiss cheese however there are moments of success however scattered through the madness.
Using the same driving footage 4 times in a row is sheer brilliance to confuse the viewer.
Man I wish i was a fly on the wall for casting
Pacific Rim Uprising (2018)
Boooerns
After the first half hour you are seriously wondering how they got the scaling so wrong along with the destruction of Sydney and subsequent deaths caused by the robots themselves when they are trying to save people/city. Why do they use a gravitational system to suck up cars on the roads and then hurl them at the rogue robot? Aren't there people in them? Its a poorly written and executed script, bland acting and decent special effects. That pretty much sums it up.
Anyway this movie blows more than Mia Kalifa
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004)
Balls out or balls in, you will laugh
If you need something fun to watch and enjoy the underdog/good vs evil storyline then this movie will tick all your boxes. Had to review this as I don't believe the 6.7 rating is fair considering the laughs had during the movie. Sure Lance Armstrong is in it and now seems totally miscast but the guy still won the Tour multiple times with no healthy dodgeballs of his own.
Tomb Raider (2018)
Even Ray Charles can see the ending and plot lines
Merelyaninnuendo reviewed it fairly spot on however missed out on the fact that Alicia Vikander is an absolute star in the making. Shame the script and minor details make you want to pull your hair by the end.
Missed opportunity this time round so lets hope they all learn from the mistakes made in this one however even though its disappointing its worth watching as she is a hotty with a tight botty. Plus there will no doubt be more so you know the foundation moving forward......even tho its shaky.
Why oh god why did they have to make things so bleeding obvious