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Last One Standing (I) (2022– )
1/10
Needs an overhaul
15 October 2023
The system: a dramedy wherein everything suddenly stops and comedians have to say funny things about a certain topic.

What's wrong with it: 1) the dramedy isn't funny enough. 2) they've spent way too much money on the scenarios, which comedy fans don't care about. And not enough money on getting good comedians, and editing. 3) not enough good jokes. Either most of the comedians are bad at it, or Japanese is a hard language to make jokes in, or the translators are letting the joke not land, or these jokes are targeted toward a dumber crowd, either way most of it isn't funny. 4) since most of it isn't funny, they should pay to have the comedians do triple the amount of jokes and have an editor to choose 1/3 of them that are the best. 5) the joke topics are too broad, like "say something sad" or "say something honestly", which makes comedians be able to say anything they want. It's not a real challenge. 6) the lead seems to be also a producer on the show, and isn't that funny, but never gets eliminated. Also you can tell other comedians laugh harder at his jokes even though he's not that funny.
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1/10
You'll like it if you don't have over 100 IQ
17 July 2023
Warning: Spoilers
The story: Someone made a super virus. The super virus has free will and can hack anything. Not stupid enough? The virus found an AI on the web and became self conscious. (How did it have free will before? You're thinking too much!) (why did it need to find an AI if it already had free will? You're thinking too much!) (why don't they get the same programmers that made it to stop it? You're thinking too much) There's only one way to stop it or control it: getting two keys and taking them to a Vault, where you can get the original code, to fight it. (this has no bearing on how programming works. You're thinking too much) (why don't they just open the Vault without the key? You're thinking too much YTTM) Every government wants to control it, because that would allow them to control every technological system in the world, but they only send less then 50 people to deal with it. (why? YTTM) Are there scenes in this movie like there are in every other mission impossible movie? With Tom cruise using a rubber mask? Obviously. One where he runs a lot? Obviously. One where things explode? Obviously. How about disarming a bomb? Yes. A car chase? Check. Dealing with heights? Check. Getting orders from a friend in a walkie talkie about the direction he must run? Check. Having to fight an important enemy that talks a lot? Check. Fighting his second in command that talks less? Check. Fighting a lot of people that don't talk? Check. Having to find out who he trusts? Check. Having a perfect plan that goes bad, and he must improvise to be successful? Check. Getting inside a place that is very hard? Yes. Getting romantic feeling for a costar? Check.

So where do the important political meetings happen? In a bar and on a train. (WTF? YTTM!) Okay let's backtrack a bit, those keys, where did they come from? There was a Russian submarine, which had two people in it that were wearing the keys in necklaces, so the virus created the illusion that another submarine was attacking it, then that the submarine was going to hit it, then it rerouted the real submarine's missile back to the submarine, and exploded the submarine. And so the two people died, but didn't get destroyed, nor were the keys destroyed, nor did the keys sink to the bottom of the ocean, and their bodies floated, and two different groups got the keys. (WTF?! YTTM!)
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1/10
The story:
31 March 2023
Warning: Spoilers
Humans are back. With a lot more ships. They bomb the tree.

Sully flees with family (now he's got 4 or 5 children) to water navi trybe.

A group of humans is going to hunt jake sully (the protagonist). Why? Because! But these humans have been incorporated into navi bodies. Why? Because! The leader of these humans is the same leader of the evil marines from the first movie. How and why? Because!

Sully's family must learn the way of the water, which is basically how to connect their ponytails to more creatures and a spiritual water tree, and hold their breath. They do that.

Humans attack a whale-like creature for its brain blubber. Which is now the reason why humans came back because that substance is able to keep bodies without aging, and it's worth 80 million per kill.

(apparently Cameron doesn't know how long space travel takes, nor does he know how much the cost to send things to and back from another planet)

The hunters put a tracker on a whale which means they are the next to be killed. Navi kids try to take the tracker off, and get captured.

Jake sully brings an army, but main baddy says he's going to kill kids if he doesn't surrender himself. Jake is going to do it, but whale that was saved attacks human boat.

Big fight. Lots of humans die. One of jake's children dies. Big baddy almost dies but one of the other kids secretly saves him. Why? Because!

Jake's dead child is connected to spirit water tree. His consciousness lives in the tree now. The end.

My opinion: The graphics are pretty.
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The Young Ones (1982–1984)
1/10
The emperor has no clothes!
21 December 2022
The writers of this show just threw a lot of random things together and pretended it was comedy.

Then, since there are no jokes, people don't get any jokes.

But, because there are a lot of things happening, they think there might be jokes, but they don't get it.

So, since they don't want to admit to others and to themselves that they are dumb, they pretend that the show is actually genius, and that they are also genius for 'getting it'.

Now, if you're reading this, you either might be thinking: 'This critic doesn't make sense, humans don't act this way', or you could be thinking: 'i believe this critic, this new tv generations are just getting dumber and dumber.

Well, this is true, and it's nothing new: This is pretty much the same story as the folk tale from 'the emperor's new clothes' from 1837:

Two swindlers pose as weavers, offer to supply the emperor with magnificent clothes that are invisible to those who are stupid.

People see that the looms are empty but pretends otherwise to avoid being thought a fool, until a child blurts out that the emperor is wearing nothing at all. The people then realize that everyone has been fooled.

I am the child.
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Violent Night (2022)
2/10
Most christmas movies are stupid
21 December 2022
Any movie where santa is revealed to exist in a normal world, to the disbelief of adults, makes no sense.

Here are some of the repercussions of a real Santa in the world: 1) If Santa existed, adults wouldn't have to buy toys for their children for X-mas.

2) Knowing that Santa is real, children and adults would never disbelieve it, and never have to be amazed that a Santa exists.

3) Parents would immediately learn which kids were naughty or nice, by seeing if their children had gotten presents.

4) Adults would find Santa and learn the tech for magical flight, time control, how to determine if someone is naughty or nice, and building things for no cost, and would duplicate it, so anyone could build anything for free. Having the ability to 3d print anything at home with no energy requirements would drastically change the culture of earth, not to mention the ability to fly at extremely high speeds, without burning against the air friction, etc.

5) People would try all sorts of requests to Santa trying to learn the exact limits of a gift. Is there a volume maximum? A value maximum? Can they ask for immaterial things, like world peace? How old can the person be to still get things? Etc. Most people would then ask for as much as they could. Things like gold and diamonds would become so common that they would be worthless.
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Bugs Bunny Builders (2022– )
1/10
This is dumb
20 November 2022
The original had clever one-upmanship. This one isn't clever. The reason why it has good ratings is because parents want their children to watch something they consider safe (a.k.a. Boring and dumb).

The original had clever one-upmanship. This one isn't clever. The reason why it has good ratings is because parents want their children to watch something they consider safe (a.k.a. Boring and dumb).

The original had clever one-upmanship. This one isn't clever. The reason why it has good ratings is because parents want their children to watch something they consider safe (a.k.a. Boring and dumb). S.
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Amsterdam (2022)
9/10
Good: story, acting. Bad: directing
15 November 2022
The true story: real life events: billionaires wanted a USA general to overthrow a USA president that was for the people. Instead he spoke out about them and stopped a cue.

The movie story: a bad hodgepodge of comedy, drama, romance, mystery, conscienciousness porn where three people that came out from war and go their separate ways, end up together and getting involved with said conspiracy.

If someone told me this was directed by four different people, I'd believe it.

Good cast and acting, except for unnecessary cameo by that blonde teen pop singer.

The villains are scooby doo level of stupid.
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1/10
The story and the opinion
4 August 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Story: British cleaning lady falls in love with a dress of her boss.

She saves up money and travels to Paris to buy a dress from the same designer.

She is treated poorly by some, but mostly nicely.

She can't get the dress she has chosen, because a richer woman who is frequent client has chosen it as well.

So she gets another dress made for her.

She goes back to England and lends her dress to a woman that end up ruining it by accident.

Turns out the richer woman was caught in a scandal, and had to return the dress, and they sent the cleaning lady the dress.

She goes to a dance ball with it.

The opinion: It's a slow and unrealistic movie. There's a part where she sleeps on a train station and doesn't get robbed. There are lots of extremely important people being way too nice to her, or way too mean to her for no good reason. There are many deus ex machina moments.
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1/10
Stupid pretending to be smart
25 July 2022
The premise: a high school that gets the best students and pays them money based on their merits.

Flaw 1: Everyone would know about how this school works, even before they had gone to it, but in the show, a classroom full of protagonists know nothing about it.

Flaw 2: When they find about the merit system, it's not explained how it works.

Flaw 3: Even though it's not explained to them, the students don't ask about it.

Flaw 4: One of the students even has an older brother in another class on the same school, and he hasn't told the younger sister about it.

Flaw 5: Other students of other classes have done much better than the protagonist class. Why? Did they know the system? Were they naturally better?

Flaw 6: The class gets a grading of zero, even though there are many students that did nothing wrong, and payed attention to the class. Also, no student did something extremely bad.

Flaw 7: All students of the protagonist class get 0 money, even though only some students are problematic. So it's not a meritocracy, but you getting lucky and thrown in with non problematic students.

Flaw 8: The school is supposed to have the best students of the country, so there wouldn't be any problematic kids in any class.

Flaw 9: Even if the students get a perfect score in the next evaluation, their score can only rise 100 points, but they can drop 1.000. Not a meritocracy.

Flaw 10: They'll only get one teacher, so if another class has a more forgiving system of evaluation, that class will have a much higher score. Not a meritocracy.

There are many other flaws, but it's just kicking a dead dog by this point.
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8/10
Plot
22 June 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Dr. Strange B helps America (a girl that can open portals to other universes) fight demon that chases her.

Demon is going to absorb America's powers.

B is going to kill America so demon don't get those powers.

America opens portal to other universe and jumps to our universe.

Demon kills B.

In our universe another demon finds and chases America.

Dr. Strange A (from our universe) helps her.

Turns out Scarlet Witch A has been trying to capture America to get her powers so she can go to another universe where her children still exist.

They fight.

A and America jump to another universe where Dr. Strange C got corrupted by the Darkholme (a book of ancient power that corrupted it's reader) and had to be eliminated.

Scarlet Witch A possesses Scarlet Witch C to get the girl in universe C.

They fight.

Dr. Strange A gets sent to universe D and meets Dr. Strange D which has been corrupted by the Darkholme.

A wants the Darkholme to save America.

They fight.

America has been caught by the Scarlet Witch and taken to reality A.

She starts a ritual to absorb her powers.

Dr. Strange A uses the Darkholme to possess the dead body of Dr. Strange B, left in universe A, to save America.

A frees America.

America open a portal for the Witch A to universe C, where Scarlet Witch C's children are terrified of her. Witch A realizes the monster she's become, and gives up on her plans.

She goes back to universe A and destroys the source of the Darkholme, destroying it in all universes, and possibly killing herself.

Bonus scene: A gets invited to go to another universe, a third eye opens in his forehead, to reveal us he has been corrupted by the Darkholme.
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1/10
idiots with money
6 June 2022
This is a movie about idiots with a lot of money.

You'll like this movie if you're an idiot, or have slightly higher IQ and enjoy looking down on people. If you're intelligent, it'll anger you.

Plot: guy with money hires nic cage to hang. Nic gets told by CIA guy with money is arms dealer. He isn't, but his cousin is. There's a big fight. Good guys win.
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The Orville (2017–2022)
1/10
no comedy or originality here
6 June 2022
Has the same problems that star trek has: Every alien is basically a human with a paint job. No difference in size, limbs, etc. Every planet is breathable, and has Earth like gravity.

Highly emotional. Every episode is like a moral lesson for a child.

Technology is BS. Every technology is described with mumbo-jumbo words. And technological development are done on the fly, instead of being though of by scientists and engineers years before.
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Morbius (2022)
1/10
Scored based on how much you need this in your life
3 June 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Genius pretty guy becomes a vampire. Harms someone. Feels guilty.

His uglier and dumber friend becomes a vampire. Harms someone. Doesn't feel guilty.

So they fight a bit, but good guy avoids fighting by flying away.

Bad guy kills good guy's father figure and love interest.

Good guy kills bad guy.

Love interest doesn't die because it becomes a vampire.

Bonus scene: good guy wants to join a team of bad guys. (why? Because sony needs that to happen to make the next movie with a team of bad guys)
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1/10
People who gave it a 10 did it for the tatas
4 September 2021
Obscenely wealthy woman is a natural born comedian with a perfect body and lives in a past with almost no mysoginy or prejudice against Jews, and all establishing shots that show the terribleness of the world are accompanied by happy music. If that doesn't sound realistic to you, then why did they spend so much money making the series look of a specific era? They might as well have made the series in today times, because it would've been just as realistic.

Her one "problem" is that her husband is leaving her. So will she and her 2 children have to struggle? Nope. Never. Will she suffer from not having a husband? No as well.

Ahhh, so it's a true comedy show, not focused on drama? Nope, the comedy just happens when characters go on stand up shows.

Ahhh, so the stand up shows are really funny? Nope. Then if that's one focus of the show is that part realistic? Nope. The protagonist does a "perfect set" on her first try, while she's somewhat sad and drunk.

So does the Jew culture seem realistic? No.

The acting good? No.

The poor characters look realistically poor? No.

Is this "perfect set" really funny then? No. I just meant that all the actors that play her audience find her hilarious. But her real audience (us) would find her as funny as Jimmy Fallon, which means cattle people who like being told the moments that they are supposed to laugh will think it's funny. While non cattle people will feel that audience as if they were a new version of canned laughter.
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Oxygen (2021)
1/10
Too many logic problems + deus ex machina moments
12 May 2021
Warning: Spoilers
If you have a scientific mind, you'll get filled with rage watching this movie.

The story: Woman wakes up in a hermetically sealed high tech hospital bed pod thingy.

She gets desperate.

An AI tells her she has a small amount of oxygen and it's dwindling.

She gets more desperate and tries to open the pod, but can't because she doesn't have administrative priviledges.

She has foggy memory and tries to remember where she is, who she is, etc.

Though the AI she gets in contact with the police.

They seem to be lying to her.

She finds out that they were definetly lying by replaying the call with enhanced audio.

She talks to some mysterious woman who seems to want to help her.

Mistery woman gives her the code to get administrative priviledges, but tells her she shouldn't open the pod, or she will die, and that she can prove it.

She tells her to use the priviledges to change some settings and turn off artificial gravity.

She does that and starts to float, and finds out she's in space.

She learns that she is in a ship, and that if she opens the pod, she'll be in contact with the vaccum of space and will die.

She finds out that humanity is about to die in 2 generations, so that she and others were sent to another planet to colonize it. And most of humanity doesn't know about this.

But an asteroid hit the ship, and many died. This has also damaged her oxygen supply.

And when she tried to call the cops, the ministry of defense interfered so that local cops didn't get to know about the secret and started lying to her.

Then the mistery woman gets taken as well, and the pod woman has to figure the rest on her own, with the help of the AI. She figures out that she's a clone, and that the mysterious woman was her original on Earth.

She also figures out a way that she can get into supended animation again, and survive until she gets reanimated in the new colony.

The end.
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Unprotected Sets (2018– )
9/10
Some great headliners
10 May 2021
Some I didn't know of before: Rob Christensen, Mohanad Elshieky, Paris Sashay.

Some I knew: Shane Mauss, Jessa Reed.
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1/10
The unfunny, the bad, and the ugly
6 March 2021
Plot: prince finds out he has a son in USA. Political issues pressure prince to search for son. Gets son to Africa. Son promises to marry daughter of political rival. Son has to make tests to show his worth. He passes, but falls in love with another woman. Marries her. Political rival fights royal family and loses. The end. No jokes. Lots of cringe. Cash grab. Bad CGI. bad sfx. Bad prosthetics. Bad acting. Bad dialogue. Some of the clothes looked cool.
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1/10
Goonies wanna be
30 January 2021
Goonies wanna be Goonies wanna be Goonies wanna be Goonies wanna be
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10/10
An ouroboros
10 December 2020
Warning: Spoilers
The story: emotionaly numb guy sees odd flyers in posts. He follows it up to find a weird place called Jejune Institute. He interacts with an odd man Octavius that is on TV. Octavius tells Numb to sign up for the institute, and help them find a girl Clara and help make the world a better place. Under the sign up sheet there are insctructions written apparently by someone who has been here before, telling him to run away. He runs away and meets a male to female transsexual, which has also been to that odd room/ situation. He falls in love with her. Trans believes the whole thing is a game. From time to time Numb and Trans and other people they meet (about a hundred people) receive clues that lead them down surreal adventures. From these other people there are other 2 important characters: Game breaker and Empathic old woman: Game breaker is a genius young adult, self made millionaire, who is not good with the emotional side of things. He doesn't accept that it is a game, and believes it's part of a great conspiracy by giant companies who want to use people's personal information to manipulate them, to obtain power for those companies. Empathic old woman has a husband that is in a coma. All of the "game" participants find out that besides the jejune institute, there's an anarchist group. And they are led to choose which side they are on. But the 4 main characters find out that they are both sides of a show being presented before them. That the choice being presented is an artificial one. They track down Clara and the game architects and find out that Clara was a real person. That the game architect is a young adult black female. But when they come knocking at her door she pretends she's just a regular person, to throw them off her scent. They also find the apartment from where the architect has worked to make the game. They find Clara's old house, her murals, her medical records, but they don't find a certificate of death. On the last day of the game, Octavius, the leader of the jejune institute, and commander 14, the leader of the anarchists, show up and show that they are actually twin brothers, and that the last part of the puzzle is to realize that the participants are in a false dichotomy, and that they shouldn't be split into sides, and should see themselves into the participants of the other side. Then Clara is presented singing, and there's a big party where the twin brothers and Clara show that they are actors. Numb doesn't accept that and demands to know the truth. Game breaker thinks that the Architect should be lurking around the party to see the result of his/her accomplishments. Empathic old woman finds her and gets her to confess she's the architect. Throughout the adventures we find out that Clara's life went like this: Clara lived in a dull place, but she got 3 friends and tried to make the world a more interesting place by painting murals, and making crazy interesting stuff. Then she got contacted by a big media group, which she worked for. She left her friends behind and saw her ideas being changed by the industry into things that sell stuff. She emotionally lost herself. She became the Architect. Clara and the Architect are the same person. The Architect designed this experience as a way to try to find herself, and attune to what she did, by giving a sense of wonder to other people. Opinion: This is probably the part that most people who gave the series a bad rating would like it to stop. Back to story: Architect Clara says that she doesn't know if her work has completed it's purpose. It depends on the boy who is painted as a sad clown, as she points to him. This is the part of the story that breaks the previous format. The 4 characters can see together a character that isn't real. 10th episode (things get closer to reality): The story of the boy goes like this: a boy loved to act, so he decided to be an actor, and trained a lot for that. a businessman took him in and said do the shows and you'll get chocolate milk. The boy was happy. But doing the same thing over and over was boring, he wanted to change things. The businessman said that they should keep the format and gave more chocolate milk to the boy. The boy does a last big presentation where he faints on stage. Everyone leaves, and the boy gets a pile of money. Another break in the format (same actors, different roles): The next scene we have what seems to be numb guy at an AA meeting telling peope about his experiences of feeling used up, and empty. But it isn't numb guy, it's Jason Segel (the actor that played numb guy, and also the writer of this story). The sad clown boy was Jason Segel. After the meeting he meets Trans, or at least the same actor, but different role. Trans is now a person who's also at the AA meeting and can relate to what Jason has gone through. she invites him to her place, where they talk, and eventually she recommneds him to an experience, similar to the jejune institute experience that the numb character had. Real life: explanation: In the real world (not in this tv series), some years ago, there was an interactive game that was played in San Francisco. See the documentary THE INSTITUTE for more info. Back to the story: Jason Segel follows the experience and it makes him confront his way of thinking. He starts to break down, but a person who works for the game (played by the actress who did the old empathic woman) tells him, that he shouldn't feel bad. That the game is not being personal against him. That the game is the same for everyone. And that it just seems personal because most people have the same doubts and problems, but don't tell each other. Jason goes to a secluded house and writes down a show (this show: Dispatches from Elsewhere, or at least the first 9 episodes and a half of them). He shows it to Trans. She tells him that the script is good, but that the main character of it, sad boy/ Jason Segel, didn't accept any personal responsability for what happened to him. Jason gets mad, and leaves, and confronts his self, the sad clown boy, and we see that the real story is that Jason was an adult when he was offered a shitty script, but he accepted it because of the money. He drank alcohol, and not chocolate milk. And he was not a child when this happened, it's just that he's acting like a child. The kid says that if Jason writes another muppet movie, he'll be back. Real world talk: Jason Segel also wrote and acted on the latest muppet movie. The kid means: if you sell your self for money again, all this is going to happen again. But I don't think that the muppet movie was really what made him descend into numbness. It was probably that "How I met your mother" series. Why: 1) I think it's shitty, and a downer, and repetititve, and it took years. 2) He couldn't point to it and say that that series made that to him, because it would look bad on other people, and thus that would also make him look bad ("he's spitting in the faces of people that gave him a job!"), so he pointed the movie that he wrote, because pointing at yourself as the blame is considered acceptable. Back to story: He talks to same actor of game braker, different character. Now he's a tv exec/ audience. Jason is trying to pitch the tv show for him. The exec says the show is interesting, but it's a bit of a mess. Jason says he knows it's a mess, but that Jason is also a mess, and likes weird messes, and wants the show to be like that. The exec accepts it. Then there's a scene where the 4 main actors are looking at a tv, like they have just watched the tv show and are reviewing it, saying that the last episode is self indulgent, and should focus on community. So the camera pans out, and shows not only the actors, but everyone that made the tv show. Than it shows the watchers of the tv show. Then there's an explanation about how we're all made of the same stuff, so we're all the same. The end. Opinion: The final message is good intended and all, but I'll believe that Jason Segler believes what he's preaching (we're all the same) when he let's me use his bank account. All and all it's a great tv show, with many original ideas (which is rare). The title of my review is ouroboros, because it's the mythological serpent that is eating itself. This is about a world that is supposed to be about creating a sense of wonder, but at the end, it explains itself so much, there's nothing to wonder left. It starts off as a tv show for the audience, with an empty character, but at the end it seems to be a show for the writer, who's full of himself. It's a show that could get mostly great reviews if it ended at episode 9, but it destroyed that possibility with episode 10. I love anything that is meta (self referential), that's why I give this a 10. But people who got into this metaphorical bus (watched the tv show) for an emotional ride, might feel like they were thrown off a bus.
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American Housewife (2016–2021)
1/10
only one actor in it knows comedy
26 November 2020
This show is terrible at comedy. Only the bald guy know comedic timing and inflections. The rest of the actors destroy the writer's jokes into unfunniness.
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1/10
boring fish trips for boring people
9 November 2020
If you are boring, and like when nothing happens, you'll love this show!
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8/10
Solid movie
9 November 2020
I'll be honest, I like Marvel, and have probably seen all the CGI Marvel movies. And I went in expecting it to be really bad, because of all the negative reviews, but I don't get it. I didn't really know much about the new mutants before. I knew about some of their powers, but not their origins etc. The movie could be better, but it could also be way worse as well. There are some characters that are interesting, there are some nice SFX, and the plot doesn't have logic holes or science holes (like when a guy falls down from the 5th floor and doesn't die, or get shot hundreds of time and they all miss).
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The Soup (2020– )
1/10
Don't believe the 10s! This isn't funny!
9 October 2020
The host is obviously not a comedian, nor is any of the writers. It's like they showed the host a clip of comedy, and they only absorbed that you have to have a certain cadency to the phrases, but she didn't understand that they have to be actual jokes. Even the paid audience doesn't really laugh at the "jokes".
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SeaChange (1998–2019)
1/10
Rating this as a comedy
23 July 2020
The only jokes i found on this were the writing, acting, and directing. If this gets an 8, Australia must be starving for comedians. The worst thing is that i had already seen episodes of this, given it a 1 rating, forgotten about it, months later saw other episodes, thought it deserved a 1 rating again, went on to imdb to find out i had already given it. So it's not only awful, but also very forgettable.
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1/10
Not once laughed or was even close to it.
27 June 2020
Warning: Spoilers
A boy and a girl from iceland like eurovision. They grow up wanting to win it. They fall in love, but the man doesn't want their relationship interfering with the music. They are known throughout iceland for being bad at music. A gay guy from Russia who is also an eurovision singer tries to seduce the woman from iceland. After some technical accidents during the live performance of eurovision, countries like how the icelandians didn'nt give up, so they give them points, and they become a finalist, but iceland duo fight. iceland man realises he doesn't need his father's approval. Father gives him his approval. iceland man realises love is more important than winning eurovision. iceland man meets iceland woman during final presentation, professes his love and they change the song, making them disqualfied. And they live semi-happily ever after.
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