jonerogers Reviews

Skinamarink (2022)

Worst film I've ever began to watch

[1/10 · 3 June 2024]

Thought this film looked really good, the synopsis looked interesting but alas after watching the first 15 minutes I was ready to give up on being part of the human race.

There was nothing of any interest, it was like the life was being sucked out of me like what the dementors do to Harry potter.

I can't even describe what was bad because it contained absolutely nothing at all, it was devoid of any content.

There seems to be a large amount of films in the past 3 years that are just rushed out instead of remaining on the cutting room floor.

Do yourself a favour and Steer clear of this bore fest.

Stay Out of the Basement (2023)

Errrr wake me up

[1/10 · 29 May 2023]

I'm in the last few minutes of this, what on earth is this all about? I've seen more horror when my old Granddad cuts he's toenails and a shard hit my arm causing a small gash.

So the genre is totally wrong, totally boring, the story is as dry as a cream cracker. The acting is dire and to be honest the only thing that kept me watching was the anticipation of anything happening.

There is one good thing...its only an hour and 11 minutes long.

This movie needs archiving before it bores anyone else. I mean when films are released surely they are checked out first? This one needs a health warning as it's in danger of causing the viewer to fall asleep and drop their drink or popcorn.

Death Hunt (2022)

Three blind mice

[5/10 · 29 July 2022]

Okay so take 3 blind mice, spend some time teaching them to speak English and how to sing. Then put them into a shoebox with food and drinks and air holes, take them to a distant land and down a 1000 foot deep mine. Put them safely on the ground and back fill the mine with 800 tons of concrete, and then listen for them to call out....you will then get how quiet this film is. I had my TV on the highest volume of 100 and could not hear a thing, i even heard my cat fart from another room.

It has potential as a film but being so quiet ruined it.

Come on guys sort out the sound crew.

Ash & Dust (2022)

Like a box of Frogs

[2/10 · 19 July 2022]

What can I say? This film made absolutely no sense at all, the synopsis says 2 couples dig up a box and get involved with a criminal element. The whole film made no sense, someone gets shot who I couldn't make any connection with then another and another.

It was an absolute joke, all I will say is it was like a box of angry frogs.

I have it a 2 rating because I'm sitting here watching it in the UKs hottest day on record and this has snow in it which is kinda cooling me a little.

Avoid this if you can, poorly written and directed.

Elvis (2022)

Long live Elvis

[10/10 · 26 June 2022]

What can I say? I'm currently sat in the cinema for a 2nd viewing of this film, yes it's that good.

I grew up with Elvis and became a Teddy boy off the back of that exposure to such a legend. In 1977 he died, I was just 13 years old, I cried, I cried for days, I loved Elvis.

What this film gives us is Elvis on the big screen, brings him to life and tells the story of a generous man, a man who gave his life to music and to others. His dreams of worldwide touring squashed by just one man, the colonel.

I came yesterday to see this, I laughed, admired once again a legend and I cried once again at his loss. Strange is it was it brought it all back to me in the space of 2 hours and 40 minutes.

Loved the acting, Austin Butler played him well, very well and Tom Hanks played the manager well, even though you will hate the person he played he did it so well.

If you get the chance go see it, it's a rollercoaster ride of emotions, but damn it's good, take plenty of tissues with you.

Panama (I) (2022)

What a crock of poo

[1/10 · 12 June 2022]

I cannot believe I actually sat through 45 minutes of this, its gained 1st place in my worst movie of the year.

Mel Gibson starred in the first 5 minutes of the film and that was it...I get so fed up with film producers putting an A lister in their films just pull in an audience..

To say the film was boring would be an understatement, I've seen more action at the over 75s community knitting evening. It was all over the place, one minute there in bed (which also would make anyone flacid) then in a helicopter and onto motorbikes riding through a jungle...I didn't even know what it was about and began to lose the will to live.

Please avoid at all costs....it really will send you to sleep.

Intervention (2022)

Bore fest

[1/10 · 12 May 2022]

What can I say? I don't even know why I left it on, I will admit after 5 minutes I picked up my phone and scrolled for the entire film with one eye and one ear on the film waiting in a vain hope for the action to start.

How this could have the genre of horror and thriller I really don't know. I've seen more horror when my elderly neighbour of 96 comes out into the garden to hang her washing out, treading on a snail and then the thrill of her screaming at the top of her voice that she needs a paramedic.

No this film has not one bit of either of its listed genre, 5 women talking on a zoom call. It's hard to believe it actually made it out of the box.

Save yourself a real bore fest and maybe come to mine with some popcorn to watch my elderly neighbour crush some snails .

Union Depot (1932)

Short but sweet

[10/10 · 26 March 2022]

Loved this film, it was a short one but this is a film made nearly a century ago, most films from this era are of this length, but it doesn't mean its not good.

It tells the story of a few individuals who for whatever reason are around Union Depot, a train station. It involves a couple of vagrants, a pretty blonde (Joan Blondell) and a shyster trying to carry out a dodgy deal and well, it all going wrong.

Its simple and to the point, no need for CGI here its not needed. Well worth a watch and not in anyway difficult to follow. Plus it has the lovely Joan Blondell,always gets my eye.

Time Now (2021)

Really.....no really

[2/10 · 24 March 2022]

I can't say it's the worst film I've ever seen but it's closer to that then the best. What surprises me is the amount of 10/10 ratings and many reviewers saying how suspenseful and good it was.

In all honesty it was super slow, I can equate it to a vast slug slithering across a motorway and watching it to see if it makes it or not. No real mystery, and one that Morse or even the clumsy Columbo could solve in a minute or two. I gave it a fair 2 star rating, and that was generous.

Anthropocene (2020)

Please someone help me forget this film

[1/10 · 1 January 2021]

I don't know how I watched the whole of this film, it has to be the worst film of 2020. It has actresses that in the blink of an eye change clothes and hair colour.

There is no focus, no direction,no meaning and the worst acting around. The music is random and different for every scene, the visual effects are awful.

I came through this very confused, even my cat had turned his back on the TV and was looking at me like he needed help.

Avoid this crock of poo for your own good.

Wreck (2020)

Really?

[1/10 · 1 December 2020]

I managed to endure just 12 minutes then turned it off, its another one of those very low budget films that has literally all cast, film crew, directors writers and all in the pot.

The sound was awful, dubbed in places where it didn't need to be dubbed, corny storyline and awful acting.

I rarely switch off but just couldn't go on. If I could go lower than 1 I would.

From the Dark (I) (2020)

What a crock of crap

[1/10 · 29 November 2020]

This i endured for 40 minutes and have massive regrets.. its the most boring film I have seen in a very long time, how it got past the cutting room floor amazes me...the only thing that really surprises me is all the high ratings...I am thinking maybe all the high ratings are from those involved with the film itself... The acting was poor, the story had no focus, the music was poor. And how is this listed as a horror? I've seen scarier cartoons.

steer clear of this at all costs,save your money

The Unfamiliar (2020)

Hocus Pocus

[5/10 · 5 November 2020]

Here is a film like many others this year that are mediocre at best. i gave this a 5 star rating and it couldn't be better or worse in my eyes, i watch a lot of films and never go just on other reviews, yes i read others and bear them in mind as sometimes like on here for this film you see lots of negative reviews.

sometimes i get pleasantly surprised when the film comes through as a good one, this didn't prove to be one of the best films out there but it kept me entertained, it was ok, and had a bit of a Hocus Pocus sort of storyline, probably best suited to be a Made for TV film and would never make it to the big screen.

worth a watch, take it or leave it.

Alone (XXI) (2020)

good film

[7/10 · 5 November 2020]

I Really liked this film, it has two main leads and a very short scene with Donald Sutherland who, although a lot older than at the height of his career still acts well. its good for old actors to keep their toe in the water and his character in this was just right for him and the scene was also long enough.

So as i said not starring many at all apart from plenty of extra's playing the Zombie parts. its a good thriller/ horror and did keep me entertained and in one or two places got me to the edge of my seat. it has a good storyline and some solid acting all round.

all in all worth the 7 rating and worth a watch.... get the popcorn out.

The Intruder (I) (2019)

watch your back

[8/10 · 5 November 2020]

I love my Horror films and so chose this as one of the Genre listed was Horror, but alas it wasn't really a Horror but more of a thriller, we seem to be getting a lot of movies listed under the wrong Genre of late. Having said that it really was a good thriller,

The movie is set at the right pace and has a really good story, creepy and some gore and a few jump scenes, all made for a good bit of entertainment. A good bit of acting by all from who i wouldn't class as A listers yet and It kept me entertained and deserves the 8 star rating for me.

well worth a watch.

Reaptown (2020)

Bore off

[3/10 · 1 November 2020]

I used to review a lot but got out of the habit, seeing this and another film in past 2 days has forced my hand to write again and mainly to warn others of what dire crap this film was.

There is no point to this film, no meaning what so ever, I sat there thinking what is actually going on? I actually thought I had fallen into a coma or deep sleep, maybe my partner had drugged me and tied me down, no purpose to it is being kind.

My only regret it watching more that the opening credits...

Please do yourself a massive favour don't do it!!

They Live Inside Us (2020)

I should have known better

[2/10 · 1 November 2020]

What can I say? Well when the film started its titles ended with the fact that it was written, starred, directed and I think produced by the same guy and another of the writers was the main lead. That was que for me to turn off.

It was an absolute boreathon from start to finish...the most exciting thing was a door banging shut and opening several times which made me think that it sounded like people leaving the room for fear of being bored to death..

Do yourself a big favour and switch off before switching on.

Mowgli: Legend of the Jungle (2018)

very nicely done

[8/10 · 16 January 2019]

Do you remember the days of the original Jungle book, you know when your a young nipper and animation is so cool and fantasies are set before you? well we have this new era of real action people mixed with the animated characters brought to life.

nicely directed by Andy Serkis who i love as an actor in his many guesses but directing seems to be following hes great acting.

The film is the story of Mowgli a young boy orphaned by the horrid Shere Khan and left to die he is taken in by the Wolves and raised by them with the help of Bagheera The Panther, Baloo the Bear and Kaa the Snake.

All is good except Shere Khan wants to rule the Jungle and a battle begins to win the rule of the Jungle, while all this is going on Mowgli is being trained to run and defend himself and its hard work all round. Things begin to get a little tense and before long Mowgli is in Trouble as is Bagheera and Baloo and Human interaction is needed, But is it the right interaction?

The final scenes of the film are the most action packed, will Shere Khan win and take the jungle under his rule?

a great little fantasy, adventure film, harmless and kept me entertained throughout and yes it brought back my childhood a little with all the characters albeit in live animation. well worth the 8/10 i gave it... i cant wait for Dumbo next

Midnight (1934)

A Very Moral Dilemma

[10/10 · 15 January 2019]

A nice little Film Noir and a very early one at that and its all about A Very Moral Dilemma, a story of whats good for the goose is good for the gander, or is it.

The film begins with the trial of a woman who kills her husband and then confesses, the jury are sent out and its a mixed bag or did she do it on the spur of the moment, in the heat of passion and therefore manslaughter or was it calculated and plain and simple Murder? Well the very respected Foreman of the Jury persuades the the rest of the jury that its the latter and the woman is sentenced to death by the electric chair.

the film then switches to the Jury foreman's house on the night of the execution and there are several friends and family all around talking or trying to talk about the event to take place and mr Weldon (foreman) tells them all to not talk about it, after all he is feeling pretty rotten right now. several things are going on around him, his younger daughter wants to see a guy he is not liking Gar Boni (Humphrey Bogart) a small time crook and another guy invited into the house by the other daughter is turning out to be a very dodgy character, is he Legit?

Things turn sour for the younger daughter played by Sidney Fox with her boyfriend and she shoots him and kills him...now for the moral dilemma, should she be tried for his murder? will she confess? what will happen in this very early Noir... another very early film for Mr Bogart and a great performance by Sidney Fox....well worth a watch for this short but great film.

Dexter (2006–2013)

what a series

[10/10 · 15 January 2019]

I have never reviewed a series yet and this series changes that, i also never got to see this until 2018 and binge watched it from start to finish and i am so glad i discovered and watched this and just hugely gutted its ended.

SO many on the cast list to mention but obviously the main character Dexter played by Micheal C Hall is just super and exceptional in his role as a friendly serial killer we all hate to love.

Dexter is a Blood Splatter Analyst for Miami police and as a young child witnessed the murder of his mother and this has turned his mind, made him what he is, made him hate the bad and punish using the code he's father taught him. Well its almost a perfect follow of that code as the odd mistake can and does happen. Dexter has a close relationship with his sister Debra played by Jennifer Carpenter. Both play their roles out and with other Miami Metro police officers as their friends the stories are great.

Dexter has a main killing code, to rid the world of murderers that have slipped the net of the justice system. sometimes Dexter has to change course, change his mind, abort and admit that he has got it wrong either with who he has just killed or who he should have killed, either way its a bloody end for most.

We move from season to season with a different subject but all around the introduction and goodbyes from each seedy character and its never boring. I found some of it so frustrating as i was half on the edge of my seat egging Dexter on to just finish the bad character off, and finally getting my just desserts as another one bit the dust.

i really wish it didn't have to end as it really was the best TV series i have watched, it has excitement, suspense, grit, anger, love, joy, mystery and fulfilment in the entire 8 seasons. i was never bored and loved each of the 96 episodes individually for different reasons. well acted, well worth the watch.

Three on a Match (1932)

great cast of many

[10/10 · 15 January 2019]

Another great Pre-code film and a great cast of many here some went on to become huge stars of their time but they all played well in this film about loss and failure. Joan Blondell, Ann Dvorak and Bette Davis play the 'three on a match' we also have Warren William, Humphrey Bogart and Allen Jenkins and some lesser known but still good actors.

The story is about three Women who upon leaving High School embark on very different paths in life Vivian (Dvorak) is the main lead in this film after falling in love and marrying her love and having a baby boy she then becomes trapped in a boring marriage, her life rolling from one day to the next with nothing exciting, she descends into a drunken filthy nobody, neglecting her husband and her now small boy. Her friend Mary (Blondell) tries to pull her up and fails even with the help of the Husbands Secretary Ruth played by Bette Davis all fails.

The story doesn't allow for a lengthy play out of this as its just 63 minutes long but you get the jist, Bogart plays a Hoodlum, a role that suits him. Mary ends up with the husband and Vivian descends still further and does an unspeakable act towards the end but i leave that for you to see as it is a key point in the film.

Blondell is as usual the life of this film, Bette Davis is very quite in this but its nice to see actors and actresses in young roles as we see them grow and the same can be said of the very young Bogart. Warren William is a steadfast actor but never really become one of the greats likewise Allen Jenkins although i love this guy, he is a great supporting actor.

At 63 minutes it not much longer than a series episode so drag yourself of the Serial bandwagon and give this one a watch.

Big City Blues (1932)

Not so cool in the Big Apple

[10/10 · 15 January 2019]

A very early Talkie film and one that at 63 minutes long gets the point across its not always so cool in the Big Apple. its the story of Bud Reeves a naive Young farm hand seeking a lavish and exciting new life in New York. He travels there with enough money to last as long as needed before a suitable job is found and when he arrives he seeks the advice and companionship of his Cousin who ends up fleecing him for every dollar he possesses, pretending to have no money on him as he proves by continually opening his empty wallet.

The loss of all his money is bad enough but at a party on his first night in his apartment the jolly festivities end bad when a drunk picks a fight with the legend himself Mr Humphrey Bogart who plays Shep Adkins a wise cracking young man who is actually Unaccredited in this his first Warner film. A young woman is killed accidentally in the fight as something cracks her on the head and everyone leaves her to be found by the House detective Hummell played by that great actor Mr Guy Kibbee.

well they know who the apartment is occupied by and a hunt is on, meanwhile the young Bud is beside himself and seeks the help of Vida Fleet played by the lovely Joan Blondell. it really is a short film but enough to entertain and a very young sharp dressed Mr Bogart is born to Warner brothers and deserved a credit in the line up.

Hell or High Water (II) (2016)

Great modern western

[9/10 · 14 January 2019]

This film gives you a western kind off feel but it's very modern...a pair of brothers who's mother just died get together to save the ranch she had owned. She had remortgaged and had fat cat bankers foreclosing on it, money is needed fast as they are close to losing it. The older brother Toby is played by Chris Pine, he is divorced but the ranch has been left to his two sons. The younger brother just released from jail for robbery is Tenner played by Ben foster and he and Toby have to raise the money owed and fast.

They decide to rob banks to get the money and not just any bank but the bank chain that are going to take the ranch. So it's kind off ironic that the money stolen from them is going to pay the debt off.

Bring in a fab actor Jeff Bridges and throw him into the mix as an old law enforcer and a good story and you can't go much wrong.

The film is action packed, a bit of dark humour, a surprise end and it really is a good entertaining film. You certainly won't be bored with this one. I gave it a 9/10

Assassination Nation (2018)

There's some mean gals coming for ya

[9/10 · 13 January 2019]

What a great little film this is, when I first started watching it I was thinking that it wasn't gonna be very good but after just 15 minutes I was hooked.

It's basically about a town that has an incredibly talented hacker who hacks into some high profile residents computers and phones and exposes all their personal pictures, files and texts, affairs and just about everything.

First up was the mayor and it doesn't end well for him then the high school principle and then many others...it gets messy, very gory and violent. Amidst all of this we the viewer are following 4 edgy teenagers, girls and there affairs. It's all building up for the big reveal and one of the 4 girls is hacked and exposed leading to a catastrophic and explosive finale.

What we have here is a real eye opener, fear that this can happen in real life. It's scary, just think have you ever done anything wrong? Like had an illicit affair, broke the law, watched porn, lied to your parents? Well it's out there to be hacked, it could happen.

Pretty much loved this film and those starring in it..the genre says comedy in part but I can't see that, I would put this as a thriller/horror.

Great film

Love Affair (1932)

A complex affair

[10/10 · 13 January 2019]

This is another very early print and i am really lucky to have the entire collection of the late Great Humphrey Bogart. This is an early Pre-code film and from 1932 one of Bogarts first films.

He plays an Aircraft pilot named Jim Leonard he is also a Designer and is called upon by his boss to take the lovely Carol Owen played by Dorothy Mackaill on her maiden flight. She is an Heiress to a fortune left by her father but un-be known to her that money has run out and her handouts are being made by a very rich executor to her fathers will Mr. Bruce Hardy played by Hale Hamilton. He has his eye on the lovely lady and sees that Jim likes her too and a relationship is growing.

She is told she has run out of money and the old man Bruce offers to support her and a rich lifestyle if she marries him but she loves Jim...She considers a show business career as a way out and her not having to marry Bruce, does she succeed?

Bogart plays a rare clean-cut good guy in this early film, a few years earlier it was silent movie era. it is a film with complex affairs going on and i am guessing without Bogart this would have not made it at all to the big screen. Its a short film just 67 minutes long.

watch this, its an early film and its from these early ones that todays films have grown from, actors and actresses that have inspired generation after generation...