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danthayer
Reviews
Batwoman (2019)
The horror...the horror
This is probably the worst TV show I've seen since, well....ever. The script made me want to cringe myself inside out. The acting is woeful and the directing is utterly awful. How this got a second season is beyond me. Avoid like the plague (which is rather apt right now).
Raised by Wolves (2020)
Dull, plot-free grimness
This could have been so much more. Rather than rooting for any of the characters, I found myself actively wanting them to die so that the whole sorry affair would end, such was the lack of character development. The plot is almost non-existent and the visual effects are underwhelming, especially for a Ridley Scott production. It's also grindingly slow. Avoid.
La chiesa (1989)
A total mess
This gets one star, because it has a general premise, unlike most Dario Argento-produced movies. The music doesn't fit with the action, there are WAY too many dreamlike soft-focus scenes (even those involving medieval slaughter), and the voice dubbing is shocking. The effects are very cheap, which is a theme across Argento's work. A couple of very good actors being completely wasted tops off this utter waste of time.
The Big Lebowski (1998)
One of the best films of all time
First watched it on a flight to South Africa in 1998 and must have watched it more than 30 times since then. It never fails to put a smile on my face. Excellent script and phenomenal acting. It's perfect.
The Last of Us: Part II (2020)
Gorgeous, if a little over-long
Naughty Dog make great-looking games, and this is no exception. Despite some of the negative reviews, I actually enjoyed playing from the perspective of a character other than Ellie, and came to prefer Abby in some places. The story is great, but drags a bit after the 20 hour mark, with a lot of time-filling cinematics. There are about 3 or 4 points at which they could have ended the game and it would still have been fine. Character development, as always, is great, especially in fleshing out secondary characters. However, I found the contrived nature of playing an extremely violent game only for the game to get judgy about violence a bit silly. Yes, the violence in the game is fun, despite Neil Druckman's intention for it to be otherwise. A solid 8/10.
The Strangers: Prey at Night (2018)
Every character is a dumbass
Every character in this is a dumbass. Stupid decisions made by exceptionally shallow characters. Should be called, 'Idiotic American Family Screams at Small Girl with a Knife and then Falls Over a Bit'. Avoid if you prefer intelligently-made horror that at least obeys the basic laws of human anatomy and physics.
Coffee & Kareem (2020)
Should be called 'The Obnoxious Fat Kid Movie'
Kareem has to be the most irritating, obnoxious, poorly-written character in modern movie history. He's meant to be 12, but looks about 16 and is extremely slappable. His lines are unbelievably offensive for a someone who's meant to be a child, something the movie's entire premise seems to rest upon. There's nothing clever about this movie; just a fat kid swearing as much as possible.
3 from Hell (2019)
Dear Rob: please stop
Just awful. Rob is an OK director, but his scripts are just terrible. The script for this particular movie made me cringe myself inside out. Rob should start directing other people's scripts or just stop. Ideally the latter.
Uncut Gems (2019)
I've never been so tense in my life
A ridiculously tense movie, and definitely Sandler's best. If I was Ratner, I'd have had several heart attacks during the gamut he'd run. Terrifying and genuinely engrossing, Sandler's portrayal is brilliant. I was grinding my teeth to dust whilst watching, just hoping he'd win at some point. Excellent stuff.
Wonder Woman (2017)
Dull as hell
I think the only reason this got good reviews was because it was compared to the previous disastrous film output from DC. Wonder Woman is possibly the most naive character in comic book cinema, often to the point of being wilfully dense. And the villain reveal at the end is just awful.
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
Looks nice, lacks substance and coherence.
So JJ Abrams decided that fan service was more important than story, narrative, character development and plot. I am a MASSIVE Star Wars fan and have been since the start (I'm old). I usually get goosebumps and get overly emotional during Star Wars movies, but I didn't really feel much of anything during this. It feels like the jawas, ewoks, porgs and Han Solo were just shoehorned in without any narrative thought. I love the storytelling in the Star Wars universe, but it's like JJ Abrams just shouted, "Palpatine is alive, because....cloning!" and then shat on my dreams.
Watchmen (2019)
A bit of a yawn
I love the source material and the film adaptation, but this bored me somewhat. Maybe it's because I'm British and didn't get the political nuances, but it's all a bit underwhelming nonetheless.
The Outer Worlds (2019)
Obsidian killing it, as usual
Fantastically written dialogue and deep character customisation make this an absolute gem. Funny as hell, as well as deeply ironic, it plays smoothly and looks great. I've experienced no bugs at all, showing Bethesda that it is indeed possible to create an excellent open world RPG that isn't horrifically broken.
Iron Sky: The Coming Race (2019)
So stupid it's funny
Possibly the stupidest film I've ever seen. I don't necessarily mean that's a bad thing.
Anthem (2019)
Bored within an hour
My wife was nice enough to buy this for me, but I wish she'd saved her money. It looks gorgeous, but is seemingly devoid of content. I've played the first three missions, which are all, 'Go there, find someone, kill the same spawning enemies, return to Fort Tarsis.' No character development, no story, nothing. I got more out of Destiny, and that's saying something. Urgh.
Bird Box (2018)
Good premise, but disappointing overall
Nice idea, but a bit daft and not in the least bit scary (or suspenseful, really). A bit dull in places, though Sandra Bullock generally holds it together.