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Joker (2019)
The Pranker
Dude so this movie is what I would call good. Like there is so much plot in it and it gets intense which makes it intresesting and thot-provoking. Literally though two scantily clad females tried feeling me up during the film and I was like "dude NOT cool save it for the battle bus". But yeah anyway so Wakeen Feenix does a nice job playing the joker I mean the pranker I mean Arthur. He's got issues and he ain't afraid to show it. But yeah dude so I'm watching the movie and I was really just thinking the whole time like wow this movie is good. Like when Batman appears i thought oh my god this is like in Godzilla king of the monsters which I saw with the boys in imax on May 31st during the scene where the guy rides gkdzilla's titanic pecker. But yeah and also joker dances but I sat next to these two DUMB kids of dark descent The second time I viewed the movie and I had a throwdown with them cause they were laughing during my movie. Just goes to show how no one respects cinemenama anymore. But yeah dude the movie was trash no JK it was epic and I won't see it again.
Rogue One (2016)
Whoa
Like, oh my god - I just saw this movie and it was like the wonder of the rogues because wow whoa what the heck like seriously just wow it amazed me because it's amazing.
But dude like so I watched it and i was like watching it and i was in this movie theater where is a place you can go to movie watch and i saw this guy and he was like whoa and then i realized it was Darth Vader so wow I saw him and he like punched this guy but it was actually not because he doesn't appear in that part no spoilers but seriously dude it just wooed me because then this guy named David Jacks played by David Matz was in the movie and he was a black guy played by Samuel L Jackson comes out with this purple sword and it like bends and he does this trick move with a ghetto blaster beet-box and it goes bum bum bum bum and Darth Vader starts this break dance thing and he's like wacky wacky wow and I went whoa because his dance was like this awesome thing and then these guys jump out and like we DA clan and they were the clan so whoa was it the Wu Tang Clan but it wasn't so I wasn't a fan but Darth Vader beat them but he didn't because then my boys from AC/DC came out and were like "oi mate we back in black" and so Darth Vader was like "no I'm more black than you because I'm James Earl Jones" and then there was a nuke and like whoa this big star.
So I really didn't vote for Donald Trump because of this movie.
So You Think You Can Dance (2005)
oh my god he didn't win!
So i was like a HUGE fan of this show like a really big fan.
and my boy David Matz as you all know he's the cash Mecca of Saudi Matz and he was on this show and yeah he like APPEARED. but he didn't win. So I went like WTF and was mad and stopped watching this show because I don't appreciate when they lose.
It kind of reminds me of this time I was watching this one show called American Idol (really obscure old show sorry if you don't know it) and there was this guy named David Matz that appeared and I was like WOAH so I like jumped into my TV but it was too small so the screen cracked so I JUMPED into my 90 inch flat screen in my home movie theater and dude wow I just went straight through it and was there and I was like "yo Dave wassup boy" and he was like "OH FACK OFF" and I didn't know what to say. So I like found this camera and was like send me back but it didn't so I had to press a button and it sent me back and i had to pay 90 god damn dollars to fix my TV so yeah.
Noel Schajris: Momentos (2010)
Well, what do I have to say?
I don't speak Spanish so this movie was quite difficult to understand, but boy does Dave just take it away. I think there was this one part where he like does this time warp thing because dude its called momentos and that reminds me of the candy mentos but anyway (DUDe you know what happens when you put that in diet coke) and he like JUMPs this fricking time warp thing and its like woah oh my god how does he do that because we cant comprehend slow tie yet he does its like so crazy forty years pass and suddenly the movie is in a different country its like Argentina now or like Vietnam i don't know they're all the same to me. it was like even so much of a change that the movie theater i was in (i was one of only fifteen people in the theater) actually MOVEd to a different country too! it was now in Mexico! and I was like dude WTF woah why? but then anyway i kept watching the movie and saw David dude these cool flip moves and he joined this polish guy trying to start an uprising but then it turns out David is guy sort of like hulk hogan so you know where its gonna go and he like challenges the Polish guy to a FREAKING wrestling match and takes him head on and dude hulk hogan matzo wins.
so that's what happens in momentos. great film would recommend to any sports or comedy fans.
The Bad Mutants (2010)
David matz saves the day
this movie sucked but actually David makes it cool so dude its cool because David matz is the cash Mecca of Saudi Matz haha and I laugh but I actually don't laugh at everything because Odin is Odin and he's not in this movie so I'm not sure why I said that. Keanu Reeves doesn't make an appearance but I'd say that his acting was stellar and he deserves an Academy Award for this movie. Also Laurence Fishburne is in Hannibal and Matrix but Keanu Reeves isn't in Saladformers.
Saudi Arabia should be a place in Mars but it's not in the Martian so i wonder why Matt Damon was able to grow potatoes there because Saudi Arabia has only muslims and they don't like potatoes.
Attack of the Yeti Hand (2009)
dude its cool my boy dmatz is in here
this was probably the best movie id ever seen and i mean like really lot was but actually it was effing awful dude like my boy d matz was in there and dmatz is David Matz (his middle name is nicky) but my opinion is that the just doesn't save the movie enough so it sucked.
in the first part hes like the circus but WAIT he actually the isn't so this yeti hand is like dude you have to do that but I said no so dmatz comes in with this big mother sniper rifle and its in .300 cal thats like my actual sniper but its not but anyway they come in and the swat team is like oh hell no so they run away so I call im the navy seals and they're like oh hell no so i call in a nuclear bomb and they're like oh hell no so i become Thanos and I'm like fine ill do it myself so i take my infinity gauntlet thats actually brass knuckles and i punch the yeti and its like really hard so he falls over and breaks his knees and i win the end so yeah actually pretty good film bungalow
Terminator Genisys (2015)
TERMINATOR: GENISYS - dude I'm back
DUUUUDE so i saw terminator genisys at an advanced movie screening. It was a great experience and i really enjoyed watching it. dude i got to meet Arnold Schwarzenegger after the showing and dude it was really cool.
so the movie is about the terminator future where the machines have taken over the planet and humanity is led by john conner to "take back their world" as he puts it. so eventually he decides that they need to prevent the onslaught (dude big vocab) before it ever happens and to stop a bad terminator from killing his mother, Sarah Connor. so its sort of like x-men days of future past BUT DUDE NO WAIT so kyle Reese offers to go back in time and do just that. But when he gets there he finds out that Sarah Connor has a good terminator who helps her and they team up to change the future. the tag line of the movie is "The Rules have been reset", so its pretty much copying "Transformers: age of extinction" from last summer, where its tag line was "The rules have changed". we all know how well that turned out.
the movie is pretty cool. it has some nice action scenes and Arnold Schwarzenegger kicks some butt. the chemistry between Reese and Sarah Connor is pretty mmmmmm interesting while the movie does sort of feel like a rehash of the first two, and thats not good. I was hoping they'd take a more original way with it but instead they chose to have all these scenes similar to ones from the first two movies, like the 1984 bad terminator being beaten up by the good terminator.
some of the action is also really crazy. and dude by crazy i don't mean Adam sandler. i mean "wow dude that didn't make any sense". like where the bus flips over on the bridge, it looked a little cool, but dude its not that cool. because the scene looked pretty unrealistic. the bus flips over and Sarah and Reese area hanging off the side of the golden gate bridge, but luckily for them DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN - the good terminator saves them. oh and the good terminator also says "ill be back" and jumps out of a helicopter, then crashes into another one much further below. DUUUDE that reminds me of a time where i was in a helicopter but dude it was being shot at so dude i had to JUMP out of the helicopter and i landed in a tree five hundred feet below but dude i was okay cause I'm strong and so dude i like SLIDE down the side of the tree cause dude its falling down because someone was cutting it down at that moment and i land at the bottom and go off in the woods after reluctantly accepting a chocolate bar from the guy cutting it down. but dude anyway ...
Like i said, the action is a bit ehhhhh. it felt as ridiculous as the rock in san Andreas at times. and dude Vin diesel is bald. the supporting cast is well dude okay. jk Simmons has a neat role, while byung hun lee had a decent character. but they just didn't really pop out that much from the rest of the cast. and dude i needed them to pop from it.
dude there's not much else for me to say. the movie's decent, with some good action scenes and characters but at times it just felt really dumb. so i sort of didn't like it but i really kind of did so ill give it a ten out of ten. dude its better than terminator salvation with batman and terminator 3 which was ewww. so dude go watch it and dude enjoy dude its cool
TERMINATOR: GENISYS