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True Detective: Night Country: Part 6 (2024)
Makes season 2 look like season 1.
Season 4 will go down as the worst season of True Detective. Jodie Foster is wasted as an insufferable Karen cop. Her dialog doesn't stray from being feisty and pissed off 24/7. To complement her we have the Native local cop, another female boss, but tough instead of feisty. She has a permanent resting biotch face like Michelle Rodriguez but somehow less likable. And like Foster she is nearly one note.
The plot is scattershot all over the place, with a few interesting premises with utterly disappointing returns. The setting is the only part that exceeds at the dread the series is known for. There is so many supernatural elements just thrown in to keep people watching between the boring main story plot.
And Episode 6 is the icing on the cake. An episode that explains away all the supernatural elements in the most hamfisted inept way. It's almost like the carrot the audience had been chasing was thrown into a wood chipper.
Let's just say once Foster's Karen Cop gets her redemption arc because corporations are the real criminals, and vigilante justice is good as long you're not white.
Squid Game: The Challenge (2023)
Nice sets. Everything else is trash.
When I watched the first Squid Game i was very impressed with both the overt and underlying themes. But one of the most obvious them was the rich vs poor. Putting human lives on display, and let the rich bet on them. How much humanity can one lose in pursuit of a better life?
Well Netflix decided to take this gem and crap all over it. Taking a layered tale and turning it into a bad reality competition.
Who is this for? Survivor fans? Certainly not fans of Squid Game...
It is sloppily paced, and filled with unlikable people. I'm not going to even blame them.
It feels awfully scripted as if it was trying to hit the story beats of the original. And it fails miserably at that. Somehow I was bored in the first episode. They spend 80% of it just getting reactions from the contestants.
The show has nice sets, and a couple of contestants are trying to bring back the sweet mullet, so a point for that. Otherwise avoid at all costs, especially if you liked the original. Total Dogs**t.
Team America: World Police (2004)
Almost 20 years later, this movie is still the hardest I've laughed at any movie. Yet remarkably relavent today.
Words cannot describe how funny this movie is. I rewatched it today for the 20th time and it still holds up so well. The very idea to use puppets to try and ape serious moments from action flicks is straight up brilliant. The fact that Matt and Trey were originally going to spoof a Bruckheimer movie and got the no makes this all even better.
The production is incredible from a special effects perspective. The animatronics are fantastic and hilarious all at the same time. Just perfect for the satire they were going for.
But best of all, the humor hits on all cylinders. Seriously if you think of all the crazy tropes Hollywood throws at you and see how well they skewer them it is magic. I still am LMAO 90% of the movie.
Lastly with the addition of the Film Actors Guild giving smug and high and mighty speeches is all the more relavent today, given political Oscar speeches and SAG striking.
At the end of the day, all I can say is.... Matt Damon.
The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon (2023)
A solid 7.5 for me.
I have to admit, I kind of tuned out of The Walking Dead after the 7th season, casually watching the higher rated episodes, and mostly ignoring the rest or putting it on in the background.
The spin offs really had nothing for me as the writing just stunk. But as a fan of Reedus's Daryl Dixon, I figured I'd give it a shot. And I'm really glad I did.
It moves at a far faster pace than most other WD shows. It has all the WD trademarks, but does a good job not leaning into them until the point of absurdity. I binged all six episodes and definitely had a good time with it.
Pros: Daryl gets more depth in this series as, well, he's the center of it. However Reedus brings in some subtleties that help elevate the character above the morose BA we saw in the later seasons of TWD
The other actors were surprisingly good especially the French lead. She really played of Daryls nihilism very well.
As always the effects were great, and at no point did I really notice the CGI if and when it was used.
The settings, atmosphere and locations were spot on. Having traveled in France twice, definitely had that down.
Overall just quite entertaining.
Cons:
Typical TWD plot armor.
Fails to reach the heights of TWD's best moments
At no point was I really surprised by how things played out. In fact I could almost guess most plot point before they happen.
Lastly a decision one "bad guy" makes in the final episode.
But at the end of the day, worth a watch for fans!
Depp V Heard (2023)
Complete trash.
How is this a documentary? You'd think it would maybe focus on interviews with the judge, jury, prosecutors, defendants anyone related to the case. Any new evidence after the fact.
Was anyone ever witness to Johnny actually hitting Heard. What happened to Heard's charity pledge? Was there any commentary from legal experts? Has a single proven thing come forward post trial.
Nope. This is a worthless rehash of a public trial. A shameful cash grab. It cheaply focuses on a bunch of social media influencers from TikTok, and other platforms. It even sort of starts plugging TikTok at one point.
Again it utilizes these influencers to pad out and bloat what could have been one episode. Think what you will about the media spectacle that was essentially a trial over a toxic relationship. Just avoid this bloated mess of a dead horse being beaten for no reason.
Seven Kings Must Die (2023)
Netflix would rather spend money on blood origin than good storytelling
Words cannot express how disappointed I am with this movie that should have been a full season. Everyone involved tried their best, but it is clear that Netflix left them with two hours instead of the necessary 12 to finish the story properly. The relationship between two step brothers eying the throne. How Aethalstan just becomes a tyrant. How his father even died? And the gay advisor? WHY?
It amazes me how deft these corporations are. You have a beloved series and you just let it fall to pieces. I mean look at GOT. They should have fired D&D and gotten new showrunners. In this case it is obvious Netflix just decided on a movie rather than pay the talented creators, actors, writers, and everyoneone else involved, probably to make another horrible anime live action, or the crap witcher prequel.
Should take a note from Vince Gilliam and let it go till he see's it fit to end.
I thank everyone involved for 5 seasons of the best historically based fantasy I've seen.
Destiny is all, and hopefully Netflix will feel that fire one day.
See for Me (2021)
There are much better films with blind and deaf people.
First off, I'm impressed they found a blind actress. To bad her acting is bad. It's hard to feel compassion about a character when they are obnoxious and deliver lines badly. At least Kim Coates is in this. He was great in Sons of Anarchy.
Now for the mistakes and spoilers.
-Why on, gods green earth, would you hire a blind person to catsit in your huge mansion with expensive furnishing and stairs? Like they're not gonna knock over a vase?
-She stole a bottle of wine from the owner of the mansion she is taking care of she somehow knew was a $4500 bottle. How could she read the label. Even if it had an etched lable in the glass how could she tell the year.
-How is 5% an equal share?
-How did they know the cop was killed? She was escaping during the commotion.
-Ok the blind helper is too attractive to be believable(I'm sorry, not sorry)
-If you're coming at a blind person with a gun, walking right where she is pointing said gun...bad idea. Also if she is being instructed via cell phone, her reflexes are gonna be off.
-Emergency lights stay on, they don't just blink a few times and go out.
-If you have a gun and a flashlight in a dark house with a blind person with a gun, it is very hard to lose. Blind people can usually see movement and light in general. She somehow found a mansions fuse box and turned off the lights..dumb move.
That's enough for now. Watch Hush or Don't breath. Both are far better.
However it could work if you're not really paying attention or doing something else at the same time it will fill up the dead noise. I've seen much worse horror movies, but much better as well.
The Call (2020)
You'd think with Lin Shaye and Tobin Bell, this would be decent at least. You'd be wrong.
Lin Shaye and Tobin Bell are horror Icons. Unfortunately they can't save bad writing, scare less deaths, poor dialog and a weak story.
Set in the mid eighties, the dialog is far more cliche than real, unlike Stranger Things and the recent It Ch 1. The acting is maybe a notch above a soap opera, but I'll give the lead credit. At least he's trying unlike the other 3 "teens." Seriously the line delivery felt straight out of Not Another Teen Movie.
The plot, the dreadful plot. Teens harass an old woman one of them suspects of witchcraft and the disappearance of her sister. Something happens to old woman. Teens must face their past...yada yada.
It is as cliched as it sounds but unlike movies like Saw, the past of a few of them is not their fault. So badly done.
I'd recommend watching any movie with Tobin Bell or Lin Shaye besides this one. It stinks.
The Rental (2020)
Sets up a few things that never pay off, and the characters are very unlikeable.
So I'll start off with the good: the cinematography is well done. It did have the "feel" of a more experienced director. The acting is passible to good, and everyone seems to be trying.
To bad everything else is not good. The screenplay is just not good, with unnatural dialog. The whole time I imagined Dave Franco saying these lines to himself after a bong rip, and writing them down.
The characters are mostly unlikeable. And they have a real loose grasp on morality.
But the worst offender is the plot. It meanders through a few red herrings to a completely anticlimactic end. It is completely devoid of thrill, scares or even a decent or a shocking death. All elements that could amp up the tension in the last third seems omitted. Plus it really has nothing to do with the first two thirds.
There are just so many better movies in this category. This is pointless and forgettable.
The Last of Us (2023)
Started strong, but started to wane in later episodes.
I did not play the game.
I gotta say there is a lot going right in this show. Pedro Pascal is great as Joel and most of the other characters are well written and acted. The sets are really well done, and the cinematography is adept at framing each scene.
The first two episodes were really great, and I had hope it would get better.
The third episode, while touching, leaned a little heavily into the male on male action. Just not really something I wanted to see in a horror/zombie show. THEN I find out the director, who's gay went online to brag about how he tricked everyone into watching a gay romance. That's just obnoxious, agenda driven and kinda takes away from the fact it was a well directed episode. Nick Offermans dedication really helped. Still had little to do with the main storyline.
Then we get to episode 4 and this is where I finally had enough of Ellie. I'm not sure if it's Bella Ramsey, or the writing but she is not believable at all. I had tolerated it the first few episodes because everything else was good. I mean she's supposed to be a teenager in a zombie apocalypse. I get she grew up in it, but she still seems to lack any emotion besides snarky whip smart kid. She takes me out of scenes where she would realistically be afraid. She talks to Joel in an obnoxious to that just doesn't fit the tone of scene. It just becomes more apparent as the episode progresses and I just started doing housework and other things. So I can't say I watched much of episodes 4 and 5...
My other gripe is its just not scary. The monsters just feel too cgi. I don't know I just felt the clickers didn't do it for me.
Might give it another shot, but damn I feel like Ellie was badly written and miscast. She takes me out of an otherwise well made show.
John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum (2019)
Too much of a good thing, and a ridiculous plot
I loved the first John Wick, enjoyed the second alright. This installment is over the top to the point it gets monotonous. It starts off well enough, but then we get in this whole nonsense set of rules with the obnoxious adjudicator and the circles.
As the body count rises, so does the ridiculousness of it all. Enter Halle Berry, 2 dogs, and Bronn in a plot that ends up being completely pointless.
John Wicks whole motivation for living is the memory of his dead wife? Um, ok. Gone are the revenge, interesting character and somewhat realist action. Now we have nonsensical decisions, countless extras that are just cannon fodder, and so much over the top action it gets tedious. Far too many action scenes involve the bad guys not killing John out of stupidity or respect?
Had it been cut by 45 minutes to an hour it would have been better.
The Room (2019)
While I feel things could have been better, I thoroughly enjoyed my time with this one
As a big horror/thiller/sci-fi fan it's rare that I come across a film that actually feels fresh. This one did that for me.
It starts off looking rather bad, with a couple buying an old mansion in the country and they find a secret room. Of course there was a massacre in the house too...Sound familiar?
The room gives you whatever you'd ask for. We get a very typical montage of them getting priceless art, fashion and tons of champagne. After the montage of a couple just partying it up, I was thinking this was going to have a twist and they're going to end up killing each other over greed, or one of them asking for a new partner or some other cliched crap.
Thankfully I was dead wrong. The twist was well done and the decadence devolves into an emotional drama then somewhat of a horror film. Though I wasn't scared I was certainly invested to see where fate took this couple and their "figment."
Now the Acting was pretty good overall, but the main guys accent was some American Australian hybrid. Plus there are many plot holes you can poke in this. Had this been big name actors and had a bigger budget it might have been a hit.
Nevertheless once it picked up I was entertained right until the credits rolled.
Bullet Train (2022)
Like Smoking Aces, but funnier, and just better.
Remember Smoking Aces? It was, IMHO, an above average action mashup where a bunch of assassins are after Ari Gold, and features an ensemble cast. It was equal parts Oceans 11 setup, and a battle royal of the assassins and police. It was fun but not great. Lots of the lines had that "we think we're so cool" kinda writing that can make you roll your eyes.
Well enter Bullet Train, a similar concept that takes itself far less seriously, and this is why it works. Brad Pitt is fantastic as always as the reformed bumbling pacifist who still has his Assassin chops. The Englis Duo also ham it up while giving depth as two "brothers" growing up together. Joey King surprised me as she's well known for doing bad Blumhous YA horror. She worked here, and being American, her British accent didn't bug me. The rest of the cast also were great.
It's rare these days that I find this action comedies work as well as this one did. It walks the line so well, I throughly enjoyed it.
If you want a bonker, fun action flick, I definitely recommend this.
American Horror Story (2011)
Decent start, great second season, then worse every season
The first season was interesting and intriguing. I felt like the premise worked but the dialog was not good. Often characters act and talk very out of their built characters. Second season the story really dialed it up. It was intriguing and really held my attention fo the full season. After that it became just badly written dialog and tolken gay characters. I guess everyone is hypersexual gay in this universe. In the later scenes i wasn't happy gay couples hooking up it was full blown.
Freak show had a promising start and good sceenes but was squandered. Coven was badly acted. Apocalypse was the worst offender. Just terrible Dont really care after that. Evan Peters is the only one who barely pulls it off. The last few seasons are ultra rainbow and horribly written. Unless that is your thing and you crave crap representation. Avoid! Watching season 11 to bore me to sleep.
The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (2022)
Horrible on every level
Everyone complements the visuals??? Why??? They range frome fever dream to bad. Where did the money go? There is no foot in reality.
Even worse there was no anticipation as to where the story would go. A bad story.
The writing is trying and failing so hard to ape Tolkien it is crazy with that budget you couldn't hire a scholar. Oh right he was fired.
This is a terrible show all around. Wooden performances, Terrible lead Morfyde. And just bad bad bad.
The screenplay and how they jump scene to scene has no merit. It is all a badly planted tree of a beginning. One that will never bear fruit.
Bad casting, Bad actors, Bad take on Tolkien.
Congrats to the showrrunners. Two failed scriptwriters from D&Ds playbook. They have no idea what they are doing.
A waste of all that money and the creatives that make it at least imaginative in set alone.
Pepsi, Where's My Jet? (2022)
A fun romp through a legal battle that made 90's headlines
As far as documentaries go this one felt less one sided than most. It certainly keeps you rooting for John and his twenty year old dream to win a falsely advertised Harrier jet. But in the same token it really is a David VS Goliath story, and keeps it relatively light hearted. Pepsi is never overtly painted as the bad guy, and their Ad execs and creatives are allowed to chime in. John and his friend Todd share a great bond over climbing and it's heartwarming at times, especially the fourth and last episode.
If you don't know the end of the story DON'T look it up. I'm really glad I didn't!
As a docu-series goes it's fun , and has the usual twists and turns. Not a bad way to relax for an evening or two. It is not your average overdramatic drama, is mostly narrated by the actual people, with only a few scenes recreated. I dug it because I was a kid when it happened and never know the outcome.
Blade of the 47 Ronin (2022)
Just not worth watching.
Admittedly I have not watched Kurasawas film from the 50s, and the 2013 one with Keanu Reeves was forgettable.
This one however is just bad. I feel bad for the actors to be honest.
The biggest offender is the effects in the action scenes. The swords look plastic, and when someone slashes an enemy the blood goes everywhere, yet their weapons are completely clean. The overall direction in these scenes is just a mess.
The only known actor and martial artist, Mark Decascos is under utilized and the only actor to be doing his job here. Every other actor deliver their performance like a CW extra.
I stopped caring about the story within 20 minutes and it looks like they just said "screw it" with trying to make a semi intelligent stab at it.
Wanna see bad swordfighting scenes and a sub-par story??? That's all this movie will give you.
Ambulance (2022)
I'm convinced Bay is a coke addict
I would never say Bay's movies are well written, but many are at least fun and or funny. A few I'd go as far as to say are quite good. The Rock being my pick for the best, Bad Boys 1 & 2 were entertaining funny buddy action flicks. I was pretty impressed with the first Transformers despite Bay's cliche'd quick dialog, a bumbling Shia Lebouf, and a pretty predictable plot. Compared to the sequels it wasn't bad.
All four have goofy dialog, huge set pieces, a ton of explosions, and actors that share real chemistry (in transformers its Shia and Optimus, not Ms. Gun Kelly)
This movie misses that mark in many ways.
Tonally the movie is absolutely all over the place. Gyllanhall, who has some acting chops, is thoroughly unlikable throughout because of the dialog he's given. In a rush to escape? Joke time! Friends got shot? Joke time! About to die? Joke time?
That, in contrast to. Yahya's stone faced soldier out to always do the right thing, does not work. It never gels.
The script is constantly shifting from serious to unfunny dialog far too much. It completely takes you out of any cohesive narrative the lackluster story might have had.
But the worst offender is the camera work. Bay must have had a hundred cameras rolling for each scene. The constant circular shots, low angle shots. Birds eye shots that are typical of Bay are spliced so frantically there should be an epileptic seizure warning at the beginning of the movie.
Overall if you like mindless action, dumb story and are not prone to seizures, you might have fun. For me they are so excessive I kinda got bored, and literally have a headache after viewing.
Not recommended. 4/10 for the effort of all the cameramen because it must have been hell to film this.
House of the Dragon (2022)
I was wrong
Initially I really thought this show would be bad, but damn this was great.
Orphan: First Kill (2022)
Not great but much better than expected
Good acting and an interesting plot really carry this movie. The third act is a little too on the nose and abrupt. But if you wanto bust 1.5 hrs, a fun watch.
And yeah the original is much better. Still the actress 10 years later does a great job.
Prey (2022)
Can't get past the CGI bear and snake. Oh and the magic boomerang hatchet...
Ok an amendment to my original review: The CGI boomerang tomahawk is not only unrealistic it is impossible, and therefore dumb. Like really anyone who has even heald a bladed weapon knows the last thing you want is it being used against you. The magical tomahawk is so dumb it ranks on the dumbest weapons in movies. Right there with the Klingon blade. Try tying a rope to a tomahawk, nailing your target, pulling it back and catching the handle, to be able to throw it again. Count how many fingers you'll lose. No one on this earth could perform the things a 100lbs girl did in this movie!!!!
It really took me out of the movie watching the completely unrealistic CGI that looked only a step away from the scorpion king(Mummy Returns).
That combined with a predictable plot, a terrible looking predator, and an unrealistic tomahawk boomerang just took me out of the film.
Otherwise it was much better than The Predator and the AVP movies. But ultimately was underwhelming.
The dog was cool though...
Dexter: New Blood (2021)
Was great on multiple levels until the finale
Can't reinerate enough how badly EP 10 crapped the bed. Otherwise It was well done on all fronts.
Watch episodes 1-9. Not the best Dexter by far, but entertaining.
Arcane: League of Legends (2021)
Just Exceptional
This is the rare case where there is a diverse cast there because they are actually there. Not inserted. This is an artistic masterpiece. I wish Amazon left The Lord of the Rings alone and invest more here.
Better Call Saul Presents: Slippin' Jimmy (2022)
AMC is a bad company
Horrific writing, Crap animation, painfully unfunny.
Cash grab based on two of the best series ever made.
Thank god Odenkirk stayed far away from this one.
Primal (2019)
Dark, emotional, brilliantly executed.
When an animation is great enough it doesn't need speech. Terrific style, phenomenal animation, fantastic fights.
Hits on an emotional level as well. The relationship between fang and spear is executed perfectly.
Really the best animation around next to Arcane.