LouieInLove Reviews

Army of the Dead (2021)

B-Movie Led By Sidekicks

[3/10 · 23 May 2021]

It is a B-movie led by sidekicks & it's what you'd expect that to be.

Dave Bautista isn't a leading man. He's a good caricature actor because of his physicality, but, he doesn't have that leading man pizazz. The rest of them are fairly nondescript, but, we have the obligatory PC stereotype strong-women (you know, 5ft 4" & skinny).

It's just boring. I turned it off after 30 minutes.

Unoriginal, cliché & dumb.

The Mauritanian (2021)

Best Film (BY FAR) From The WU-Flu Age.

[8/10 · 2 May 2021]

Simply put: This is the best film of the pandemic. There have been some awful films made during this pandemic, that if we were still in the age of cinema, wouldn't get made, because there would be no audience for them. Nevertheless, The Mauritanian is the exception.

Brilliantly told & acted.

Shadow and Bone (2021–2023)

Can't Netflix Make Something That Isn't Absolute...

[3/10 · 24 April 2021]

No road reflecting reality to lead you into the fantasy world; which is key for good fantasy TV/writing/film.

It's like something I'd expect to find on a UK TV children's channel.

Was it collectively written by an acting troupe that does educational tours of schools?

Godzilla vs. Kong (2021)

Boring. Like A Big Colourful Ballon Filled With Sulphur

[2/10 · 5 April 2021]

A family film devoid of all substance. It's just nonsense. Even the kids got bored.

There is nothing to grab on to. No thread of interest to pull on.

It's just dross & an insult to great Kong films of the past.

Chaos Walking (2021)

Yurk!

[2/10 · 1 April 2021]

It had me sighing within 5 minutes.

Who has this been made for?

Who is supposed to relate to this film? Will the masses find an in, find empathy?

Another mass financed film cultivated for a social media neo PC minority.

How do they get made? Who finances them? If the Cinemas were still going they would die a death.

The Three Kings (2020)

Magic! All three Men Had It; As Does This Documentary.

[10/10 · 5 February 2021]

Football owes so much to these three men. Scottish football owes much to one & the other two are emperors of the English game.

One, among many things, they have in common, they're all sons of Scotland; working class soul & spirit with dignity, intelligence, grace & drive.

This documentary is beautiful.

Antarctica (I) (2020)

Refreshingly Relatable

[7/10 · 30 November 2020]

I was pleased by the lack of elitist, sanctimonious, politically correct gesturing in this film; which is presently smeared thicker than a 90 year old tart's makeup in most of the film industry's output.

The story is relatable. The storytelling is good. The acting is good. Imagination has been utilised.

There's not much more to say.

Stargate Universe (2009–2011)

SHOCKINGLY UNDERRATED SCI-FI

[9/10 · 4 September 2020]

The current IMDB rating for Stargate Universe is 7.6 & that is not reflective of, what is, one of the most underrated sci-fi shows of all time.

I watched & enjoyed the original movie but couldn't get into any of its spin-offs; they just weren't my bag.

I tried Stargate Universe because I noticed the lead was Robert Carlyle; who is one of the best actors of his generation. Trainspotting, The Full Monty, James Bond... He's brilliant & I wasn't disappointed.

Stargate Universe is engaging & accessible; it leads you through a world of wonders with verve.

Well written & brilliantly acted.

Dare I say it? Yes! The last great sci-fi show.

The Vow (2020–2022)

Crack-a-doodles Reflect & Deflect

[4/10 · 25 August 2020]

This documentary facilities a bunch of crack-a-doodles in their attempt to rationalise & moralise their involvement with a cult.

It starts with a woman basking in victim-chic, regaling us with an account of dumping her boyfriend for an improved version, whilst insinuating it was her ex's fault & using the story as a byway into why she joined an obvious cult.

Come on! An organisation called, Nxivm, which appropriates the infamous abbreviation, ESP, whilst dishing out a progression system involving silk scarfs?

Look! To all you potential full-blown crackpots. Don't join any organisation that promises self-growth or the secret to life whilst asking you to hand over cash; especially if that organisation uses a lot of abbreviations & a program of advancement within the organisation. End of!

This documentary doesn't extract empathy; especially for a bunch of, what are, some of the most awfully self-involved individuals ever to grace the small screen.

Mortal (2020)

Much Better Than The Current IMDB Rating Suggests

[8/10 · 3 August 2020]

This film is much better than the current IMDB rating suggests.

If it had a Hollywood blockbuster budget, I imagine, this film would be imminence, but, considering the budget will of been a fraction of that, the special effects hold up & the film is still thoroughly enjoyable.

Nat Wolff puts in a solid performance, as does the Norwegian Jennifer Lawrence, in fact, all the performances are solid.

The writing is good & the story unfolds in an interesting manner.

Stargirl (2020–2022)

Healthy Teen Drama Devoid Of Spiteful Politicising

[9/10 · 27 July 2020]

Solid writing, healthy character development & fun; what's not to like?

There has been, of late, a great deal of unhealthy, spiteful, politicising injected into teen fantasy drama that specifically attacks masculinity & femininity; Stargirl, celebrates both; it celebrates the human condition. Stargirl is a female led, accessible, fun show. Bravo!

It's a solid 8, but, I've given it a 9 for being a non-spiteful breath of fresh air.

Motherland: Fort Salem (2020–2022)

Occult Or Cult? You Decide.

[3/10 · 27 July 2020]

There's something that doesn't sit right with this show. It's for teenage girls, but, let's hope not impressionable ones, because, this show is just a touch too cult as opposed to occult.

Young women are allowed their fantasy TV, but, surly all TV (in a free society) has to be written from a place of reason & there is something decidedly unreasonable about this show when it comes to male characters; something unhealthy.

This show is creepy, but, it isn't the witches.

Denmark (2019)

The Kitchen Sink Returns & It's Needed.

[7/10 · 20 July 2020]

A well thought through & written piece. The acting is excellent.

It has that classic bitter sweet kitchen sink social commentary.

So many in Wales (& other parts of the UK) face a desperate situation like the lead character. The film makes you face society's flaws with a back rub rather than a fist.

Greyhound (2020)

Best Of The Wu-Flu Releases

[8/10 · 12 July 2020]

This film, is by far the best movie release, during this current pandemic.

Acting = excellent Story = excellent.

I'm guessing there wasn't a blockbuster size special effects budget, but, visually, it was fine. Especially considering that all the special effects were CGI.

Hanks = at least an Oscar nod.

War of the Worlds (2019– )

Far Better Than The Current IMDB Rating Suggests

[9/10 · 29 June 2020]

Far Better Than The Current IMDB Rating Suggests. Excellent acting, well told & good characters, without a Hollywood budget.

The language swaps can be a touch annoying, but, it's not too much of a problem.

Much better than the recent BBC adaptation; which was neo politicised drivel.

Upload (2020– )

Far Better Than I thought It Would Be.

[8/10 · 4 May 2020]

I was expecting another show stuffed full of politically divisive gender or race issues, but, miraculously, no!

Yes, there is a diverse cast, but, they are just people going about the story with no victim chic chips in sight; it's such a relief. I'm done with pathetic middle class PC on-trend issues being shoved down my throat when I just want entertained.

It's fun & interesting. Well acted & written; so far.

Look forward to season 2.

Freaks of Nature (2015)

Fantastic Pandemic Fun

[8/10 · 18 April 2020]

I have come to this film (repeatedly) during the current 2020 pandemic crisis. I found it to be great fun. It's probably a 7 but I've given it an 8 because, why not?

It deserves a better score than its current IMDB rating.

Surly a cult classic in the waiting.

Love Wedding Repeat (2020)

Contrived Pip Pip.

[5/10 · 11 April 2020]

Contrived, generic characters & formula.

The first couple of lines basically comprise of:

"Well, If you're going to be an astronaut brain surgeon..."

Because every beautiful woman in the world has a job like, war correspondent.

Make her an estate agent, a saleswoman, the owner of a small cafe or better still, make her working class; give the lass a factory job or make her a checkout girl.

No! She has to be a fighter pilot super ninja lawyer and don't even get me started on the men.

It's not awful, just a bit too pip pip.

Star Trek: Picard (2020–2023)

Heresy! The STD That Infects Star Trek Has Spread To Picard.

[3/10 · 28 March 2020]

The respected & stoic prime alpha male that inspired a generation, Picard, is substituted to a weak unsure bit player in his own show.

The Picard that we loved would never tolerate being referred to as "J.L.".

The super sexy, intelligent & feminine catsuited 7 of 9 is squeezed into an ice road trucker lesbian caricature? WTF? SERIOUSLY!

The STD that has infected the Star Trek world has spread to Picard.

Boo!

I loved TNG.

The people committing these crimes against Star Trek live in a social self isolation. Write a Star Trek for the people; NOT THE FEW!

Charlie's Angels (2019)

Better Off Burning Investors Money. BEYOND STUPIDITY.

[2/10 · 16 March 2020]

Did anyone who had anything to do with this project know what Charlie's Angles is about? Why it worked? Why it was a big hit?

IT'S A MALE FANTASY!

It's about a dude with 3 stunningly beautiful, but individual, woman at his beck and call. He utilised their individual talents, sexy feminine wiles and shrewd combat skills to fight crime. It appealed to all the family.

Putting a neo-feminist twist on this (because I remember when feminism was rational) is exactly like handing over the lamb to the wolves. Guess what! Their gunna f... it up.

Terrible casting, storyline, acting...

Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker (2019)

Best Of A Bad Bunch. Regurgitated Storylines.

[4/10 · 16 March 2020]

The original Star Wars trilogy is swashbuckling, boy meets girl, good versus bad, sexy heroes and heroines fun. It was full of imagination/creativity and verve.

The latest Star Wars trilogy has taken a rather large damp cloth to the essence of the original. Why? Okay:

Because, regardless of intent, the latest trilogy has been blatantly politicised/propagandised. It has regurgitated original storylines and smeared them with political intent. Once again! The good intentions behind this don't matter. A piece of art stops becoming so if it is propaganda; it becomes anti-art.

This film is the best of the latest trilogy & that's not saying much. It chops and flips, flashes & flops.

Stargirl (2020)

Chasing The Fantasy Childhood.

[2/10 · 13 March 2020]

This film has zero connection to the childhood experience.

Kids aren't like this.

Be more relatable.

2/10 for doing the assignment.

Go out into the world & meet the people.

Birds of Prey (2020)

Who Is This For? Speed Brained Pseudo Feminist Disco Chicks?

[2/10 · 8 March 2020]

Who has this film been made for? What market? Certainly not children or your average man or woman. My closest guess, is, this film has been made for speed brained pseudo feminist disco chicks from the year 2000.

They've taken, what is, primarily, a kids comic book character & made a film, using a kid friendly aesthetic & pumped it full of clumsy corrosive gender politics & unnecessary forced violence which gives the film a hateful vibe.

This film is forced. It is cinematic rape.

The Oscars (2020 TV Special)

Hollywood Has Forgotten Its Purpose

[3/10 · 11 February 2020]

Hollywood Has Forgotten Its Purpose:

The role of the entertainment industry is to entertain, especially the working class, which I am. It is there to help us forget, if but for an hour or two, the drudgery of everyday life.

Sadly, these days, Hollywood has become so self-involved & elitist, that it has forgotten its role.

We, the people, are not here to be preached to. We are not here to empathise with the elite. We are not here to have the elite tell us where our empathy should lie. We are not here to feel guilty or be reprimanded. We are here to be entertained! We are here to forget!

Politically correct culture is fervently anti working class, anti culture & most definitely anti-entertainment.

Some bright spark, hopefully soon, will figure out that the majority is being ignored & fill that void with good entertainment. And it won't be right wing, it won't be religious, but it will be charming, funny & relatable.

Oscars, please bring back the charm, the class, the glamour, the beauty, the dream.

Jojo Rabbit (2019)

Wonderful. Bravo.

[8/10 · 8 February 2020]

At a time when Hollywood pumps out so much clumsy heavy-handed politicised PC pseudo moralistic gumpf along comes Jojo Rabbit & I for one am filled with hope for the movie industry once again.

Beautifully told, intelligent, perfectly cast & well written; ladies & gentlemen, I give you Jojo Rabbit.