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Reviews
French Exit (2020)
Apologies for the pedantry.
This film started with the type of atmosphere one would associate with a film "of quality".
It just kept getting better and better. The more closely one watches the more funny it is. The minor things that really makes it stand out from the crowd.
The lead character smokes and smokes and smokes. Good luck to her. The irritation of the whole movie crept out and it spoiled the whole thing for me.
Sincere apologies for the ridiculously pedantic level that I have been reduced to. I put it down to Head full of nonsense. The Foley editor didn't do his homework and every time the blessed woman likes a cigarette with a "Cartier" cigarette lighter "Ching" one hears a "zippo". Both lighters have a distinctive ring to them as they are operated. People who are unfamiliar with either of these lighters could hear them once and tell the difference. They are so different. The "Zippo" with its high pitched "ching" something like and odd door bell. The "Cartier" akin to a railway train rolling gently up on its buffers.
Sometimes he got it right. Mostly he got it wrong. I never thought I would be reduced to writing drivel like this but I felt compelled to do it. It's so wrong. If it's a cow it goes moo. If it's a sheep it's
Bah! If you swap them it looks utterly daft.
Attention to detail is the name of the game.
Robin Hood (2018)
Oh my giddy aunt! Disastrous! What a shame.
It could have been so good. All the ingredients were there for something special. BUT. What happened?
I think the story must have been what was edited from "Prince of thieves"? The scenery was what was left over from "Lord of the rings"?
Costumes? I think someone mentioned "Primark"? What intrigues me most I think is spurious eruptions of fire. What, in medieval England would possibly be the cause of that? Some trainee apothecaries attempting to invent the match perhaps?
I am trying to think of something positive to say about it. The only thing I can come up with is the fact that it's raining outside so watching it prevented me getting a soaking. On reflection, I should have got wet or tidied up the garage or cleaned something instead. Errol Flynn. Come back, all is forgiven. It's a shame the much and sadly missed Alan Rickman (RIP) didn't have the time to give any "Sheriff of Nottingham" lessons.
The cast actually did a good job with what they had to work with. Tim Minchin makes an excellent friar Tuck and deserves a mention for his efforts.
My apologies for this very scrappy and rather disjointed review. I think that the film has infected me with: "scrappy and disjointed" disease.
Riddles of the Sphinx (2008)
Life is too short!!
Utter drivel of the highest order!! Avoid at all costs!
Do yourself a huge, huge favour. Go and clean the bathroom, paint the shed, Hoover the greenhouse.
Do absolutely anything but do not waste your life watching this insult to anyone that has a brain cell!
GUFF!
Geezas (2011)
Utter drivel
Do yourself a huge favour. Save the electricity.
Do the washing up, build a bookshelf. Do not bother watching this puerile dross.
My sincere sympathy to all involved with this "thing". You really are better off working at Tesco stacking shelves.
Age of Ice (2014)
Life is too short for watching this "film". Wash something instead.
Utter indescribable drivel of the highest order!
The only possible reasons for wasting your life watching this guff is if, like me you are stuck in hospital or maybe,
If you are a student of film and you want to know how not to do it.
This movie is excruciatingly bad! Go and have some teeth extracted without anistetic as a preference.