getconedproductions09 Reviews

Dear Mr. Gacy (2010)

John Wayne Gacy was a terrifying monster.

[10/10 · 17 September 2019]

Dear Mr. Gacy Directed by Svetozar Ristovski. Written by Kellie Madison & Clark Peterson

Serial killers have always harbored a morbid fascination for society. Ted Bundy movie came out in May. New season of Mindhunter came out in August. I have had my own fascination with serial killers all the way back when I was a demented wee lad. Ed Gein being the main one that I studied. I even adopted the last name for a character I played.

All that bundle of discourse leads me to this latest movie. Dear Mr Gacy is about a young college student who decides to write John Wayne Gacy for his final paper. He wants to get inside his head and figure out what led him to the brutal murder and torture of young men. It is something that the FBI wasn't able to get and psychiatrists weren't able to get either. He thought he was smarter than Gacy. It turns out that Gacy was a master manipulator and he was the mouse the entire time.

This movie caught me by surprise. I was having a conversation recently about the state of movies. There is so much content out there that wading through it to find the gems seems like a daunting task. It is one of the reasons we use critics to help us navigate through the sea of crap. But when you find that gem, it helps to erase the movies like the 13th Friday and the pain wasted potential causes cinephiles like myself.

Dear Mr Gacy is a terrific movie and it is practically unheard of. William Forsythe as John Wayne Gacy is amazing and terrifying at the same time. It is a performance where he disappears into the sickening skin of Gacy. He nails every aspect of him. William Forsythe is one of the most underrated actors I've seen. He tends to play villains and a lot of the time it is terrible action films or poorly written horror films. This time he is allowed to play a fully fleshed out character. We see him at his most charming and we see how this kid and others like him could fall into his trap. John Wayne Gacy was a predator and you see how he operates. This kid wanted to know how he thought. He finds out alright and it leads him down a nasty path. It affects every part of his life. It screws with his relationships with his girlfriend, his school and his family.

It leads us to the best scene in the film. John Wayne Gacy and Jason Moss alone in a room with none of the safety precautions promised by the warden. Gacy is scheduled to be executed soon so he really has nothing to lose. It is a confrontation and a game played out in the flesh that had previously only occurred in letter form and on the phone. Gacy is the one in control and Moss knows this. He has become just another victim to him. It is one of the best pieces of acting that I've seen in some time. Just really strong powerful stuff. As I mentioned before William Forsythe as John Wayne Gacy is superb. If I could hand out acting awards, I would happily hand one to him. It is currently available to stream on Amazon Prime and I highly suggest you find out and watch it. I give this movie an A.

The 13th Friday (2017)

Cheap and Lazy

[1/10 · 13 September 2019]

The 13th Friday Written and directed by Justin Price

Happy Friday the 13th. I wanted to celebrate the day with a bout of good old fashioned Jason murder. I have a billion streaming services I use just like everyone else. Not one single Jason movie is available on anything. Nothing, nada. This is seriously distressing. On September 11th, if I wanted to watch World Trade Center again, it was right there at my fingertips but not just Jason. Boo, I say Boo.

I had to settle. Regrettably I settled on this. The 13th Friday. Why it is called that, I have no idea. It has no bearing on the plot itself. The movie is about a haunted house somewhere in Texas where evil spirits reside inside of a sphere. Stupid kids with their red Solo cups throwing a party at the haunted homestead rile up the ghosts. That's pretty much it.

This movie stars no one you've heard of showing why this will be the only movie they star in. It is directed by Justin Price. I think Justin might need to go back and study some more because he doesn't know how to direct a movie. I don't think that will help considering this guy has made a ton of movies and they all look this dull and boring. There is no style in the framework. There is no attempt to create suspense or tension. Why go through the trouble of creating a film for horror fans to enjoy and not actually do it? Why open your film with someone setting their kid on fire and not have the means to show that? The movie is telling us right from the very beginning, this is going to be lazy and cheap. Hell the title tells us that.

The 13th Friday is a poor imitation of a movie. It wants to lure you in with its title confusing those who might think this is connected to the Jason films. The TV series of Friday the 13th is more connected to Jason than this is. It could have been some money hungry producer who knew what a crapfest this movie truly was and knew the only way to get people like me to see it is to title it similar to an iconic film.

Stay as far away from this as you can. It is not worth the time. There are a million horror movies out there that could use your attention. I prefer to reward filmmakers who actually try. Close Calls as bizarre as that movie is actually tries and gives a crap. Watch that one instead. I give this movie an F.

The Poison Rose (2019)

A Southern Fried Can of Blah

[3/10 · 11 September 2019]

The Poison Rose Directed by George Gallo and Francesco Cinquemani

John Travolta what in the world are you doing with your career? What is the deal with these movies? Are you in a race to the bottom against Nicolas Cage? You're starting to win because at least Nicolas Cage does some decent films. You've made nothing worth watching that wasn't insanely laughable in years.

I'm not sure who this movie is for. It has the style of 90s thrillers with weird saxophone music. It claims to be set in the 70s but honestly you would never know from the set design or the cars. John Travolta plays a disgraced private eye taking a case in his hometown of Galveston, TX. It seems like a small town where everyone knows everyone. But this is Galveston. Even back in the 70s, it was a fairly large city. It's a significant port town and has been for its entire existence.

This is not the only weird thing about this movie. It wants to indulge in noir tropes. It bathes in them but at the same time it lacks any visual style. It seems like it wants to attempt something in this vein but it doesn't know how or even care that much.

You as an audience member can't get into what is happening. The mystery is just kind of whatever. I think I have a decent grasp on this dull investigation but I didn't care enough to remember. I think it had something to do with a football player. It had something to do with domestic violence and long lost kids. It had something to do with a mental health facility operating as a drug hub and gambling. I think it has to do with these things. I'm not one hundred percent sure.

What happened to these actors? John Travolta plays the exact same note for the entire film. I want to believe the Travolta of old is still in there somewhere but man if he keeps making too many of these, it might become too late to recover this actor. Brendan Fraser is also unrecognizable and not in a good way. Famke Janssen has clearly had major work done to her face and it is severely distracting.

This is a waste of time. I felt bad for all the actors involved because it seemed like it might have worked in some effort were put in by the filmmakers. I give this movie a D.

The Chair (I) (2016)

A miserable ugly movie

[1/10 · 11 September 2019]

The Chair Directed by Chad Ferrin. Written by Erin Kohut and Peter Simeti

I asked for some recommendations recently and this is one of those that were offered. I almost wish I had not. This was the last movie that Roddy Piper did. I feel bad for him. He deserved so much better really.

This is a miserable movie. It is 83 minutes of pure torture for both the audience and the characters. They are routinely tortured on the regular. Also not sure what story it was trying to tell until the absolute very end of the movie. It felt supernatural in origin in the beginning with the potential of an innocent man on death row. That was all smoke and mirrors though. That's not the story at all. It's really a tale of two brothers. Products of a broken home with a mean,vicious abusive mom. One turned out one way and the other became a monster.

I wanted to know who shot this so I can avoid watching anything else they do. It was all close ups but there is little to no light on anything. It is difficult to follow visually. Even when the scene was visible, everything had this smear on it like grease on the lens. It is an ugly film.

I had to check my watch several times because I was not involved in this mess of a picture. I didn't care about the supposed innocent guy who clearly turns out to not be so innocent very soon after. I didn't care about the two kids being abused by the mom. It was cartoonish and extremely over the top. Performances were abysmal all around.

Skip this film. It is not worth watching. It is ugly. It is impossible to tell what is happening. It is 83 minutes of pure misery. I give this one an F.

Mission: Impossible - Fallout (2018)

An enjoyable movie

[7/10 · 9 September 2019]

Mission Impossible:Fallout Written and directed by Christopher McQuarrie

The newest Mission Impossible movie..... Well it came out last year. If you've seen one Mission Impossible movie, you've seen them all, especially when you consider Ghost Protocol through Fallout. Now there is nothing wrong with that. The movie is made well and it follows the formula perfectly. But sometimes having a movie tell its story this well is not a bad thing. This movie lives and breathes for its action set pieces and damn do they provide on that front.

The fight scenes are tremendous. That bathroom fight with Henry Cavill and Tom Cruise and their foe is a work of art. You can tell who is who and what is what. In a modern action film, that is truly a blessing. The actors are doing the fighting in most cases. That car chase keeps on going even when you think it's over. It is pulse pounding in the best ways.

It also plays with the story details from previous movies. It carries the story from Rogue Nation. It also ties in with part three extending that story. These movies have never tied together in that fashion. They are usually self contained. But not this one. This one actually plays with the conventions of the Mission Impossible stories while still telling the standard rogue agent story that every one of these movies have done.

As long as this movie still does the same thing though, it can't transcend to that next level. It does tell the same story we've seen before. I can enjoy the action but I'm not that invested in the story. Also I think Tom Cruise is rather dull in this one. He lacks even the slightest bit of personality he had in the previous films almost like he's bored with this. Everyone else is fine. I think Henry Cavill should get more action movies.

If this is your cup of tea, feel free to indulge. It is worth the watch. It is fun and enjoyable. I give this movie a B.

The Possession of Hannah Grace (2018)

An unfinished idea

[2/10 · 6 September 2019]

The Possession of Hannah Grace Directed by Diederik Van Rooijen and written by Brian Sieve

While lounging around the mall admiring the brand new nifty movie theater they put on the grave of Sears, I noticed the poster for a movie that I knew nothing about. Lots of times I've been drawn down that hole. I watched The Collector for that reason and I am very happy I did that. It also allowed me to be one of the few human beings on the planet to view Branded in a theater. A movie about sacrificing a sacred red cow to the sky gods that produces these balloon tumor monsters that feed on advertising and people's hunger for junk food. It was made as a co production with Russia. A Ronald McDonald balloon tumor monster. So wild.

So now that I've gone off on that tangent, you understand a little why this interested me. Not enough to spend hard earned money in the theater. I blame that on my adorable moppets. Same thing with the time available, especially for something like this. It is the same reason I find movies I have no idea about in Fathom events. I have Final Wish coming up soon.

I know I'm rambling again. That might tell you something about this movie. It's hard to get excited by a movie called The Possession of Hannah Grace. Honestly it seems like the type of movie that goes straight to VOD. It really should have. This was a visually fascinating movie. The director knows how to work with light and space. His camera work is really something to behold. This is the main thing I can compliment the movie on. I did somewhat like the makeup work on Hannah Grace. She wasn't scary in the slightest. Yeah there was the cracking and growls and flickering lights. It tries to throw on the jump scares but really you know what is going to happen and when it is supposed to happen.

The set design though is something out of a futuristic mausoleum. It is huge with motion activated lights. She is by herself with limited knowledge of how she is supposed to do her job. It is so dark and so empty even though the hospital is located in a major metropolitan area. How do hospitals get so dark in these horror movies? The set design of this ultra future style of this morgue complete with a crematorium is very distracting. I know the director might have wanted the space to make the terror palpable. It doesn't work because it's too wild and out there. It's like a Gothic Cathedral instead of a morgue. I would understand if it was just the morgue that was so dark. Everything was super dark.

This could have been alleviated by the acting. But the question is what acting?! Everyone in here were either playing one note or not playing anything at all. The lead actor is dull as can be. She is on the screen for the majority of the running time but she can't act to save her life. There is a backstory for her character but I don't believe for even one second she is this character. That's tricky when she is wandering the halls by herself. We have to understand where she is coming from and what is she feeling in the moment through her body language and this is not something we're able to do.

This is one you can skip. There isn't much here that isn't done better elsewhere. It's a nice try but nothing more than that. I give this movie a D.

Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood (2019)

Fantasy with reality on the margins

[8/10 · 2 September 2019]

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood Written and directed by Quentin Tarantino

I love cinema. I love going to the movies. I can appreciate where Quentin Tarantino is coming from. He loves the movies as well. He loves everything about Hollywood and the movies. That is this movie. This movie is about immersing yourself in the world of Rick Dalton, a western actor doing television on his way down and his best friend/stunt man Cliff Booth who comes with his own set of baggage.

This movie is a series of vignettes about different situations ranging from Cliff Booth at the Spahn Ranch with the Manson Family, Rick acting in a pilot for a new western and Sharon Tate watching herself in her movie enjoying the reactions of the crowd. This is about the process of making movies. It is about the process of watching what you create. It is the fantasy of the dream factory in a nutshell.

However it is also about the process of change. Change is inevitable. Change can be painful. Change can also be good. Change can be terrifying. You have to be alright with it in some fashion otherwise it can run you over. You have to find your groove in it.

I've heard this movie described as a hangout movie and this is a very apt description. You're hanging out at the movies with these characters. You're hanging out on the set watching everyone work. You're hanging out with the Manson Family. You're driving down Hollywood Blvd. You're listening to music from the 60s on the radio. You're making boxed mac and cheese while watching TV.

It is these two characters' journey. All the other characters are just orbiting around them. The title is important though. The movie does take place in recognizable place and time. It features people you know but it is not reality. It is a fairy tale. It is the dream factory as I mentioned before. They live inside the fantasy. They live inside their characters. Messy reality is just outside the edges. Vietnam is briefly mentioned. You see some of the downtrodden on Hollywood.

He does get into the Manson family. Not really Charles Manson though. He shows up once. It's part of the messy reality edging in through the outsides. He does something similar to what he did to the Nazis in Inglourious Basterds, the Ku Klux Klan in Django Unchained to the Manson Family. He turns them into goofballs. He saps all the menace out of them.

If you're a fan of Quentin Tarantino, this movie is for you. If you're a fan of cinema, this movie is for you. It's an original film set adrift in a sea of sequels, spin offs and reboots. I give this movie a B.

The Banana Splits Movie (2019)

What insanity! What genius!

[6/10 · 30 August 2019]

The Banana Splits Directed by Danishka Esterhazy. Written by Scott Thomas and Jed Elinoff

Whose idea was this? I want to be a fly on the wall during this meeting. I want to hear what transpired during the green lighting process. It must have been magical. This show hasn't been on the air in over 50 years. We're going to take it and turn it into a horror movie. This is brilliant. Not a bunch of money brilliant but genius enough to throw out there.

It was way more cynical than that. They really wanted to make a Five Nights at Freddy's movie but lost the rights to Blumhouse. Warner Brothers said to hell with it. We're going to do something similar but we will use an obscure Hanna-Barbera show from the 60s in its place. What?! Usually when an idea like this comes down the turnpike, cocaine is to blame. Now I'm not so sure.

This is quite the oddity. It takes some time to get into the groove of it. It is also not trying to be scary in any way. It is goofy and over the top. But of course it's goofy and over the top. It's a killer kiddie show. It has to embrace it's wild roots. Silly cartoon voices for the robot characters. Glowing red eyes to indicate when they've switched to the dark side.

The gore set pieces are cartoonish in exaggeration. We've got them making use of a giant lollipop. We got the good old fashioned saw someone in half magic trick. They run the obstacle course. Death in the ball pit. They are supposed to be robots but they basically move like people in costumes. The weapons are flimsy. You laugh at it. You have to laugh at it at least a little bit.

The best part is the last twenty minutes or so. The movie takes the entire Banana Splits show and starts to make it grungy and dirty and nasty. They descend into the bowels of the studio into a hidden theater to uncover the robots have taken over everything and are unleashing gory hell. It is a magical moment. Those last twenty minutes really helped this movie get over the lack of atmosphere that permeates the beginning of the film. It is a flat looking movie until then but you can tell they made this movie quickly and for cheap. No problems here.

The acting is atrocious. The concept is goofy and laughable right from the get go. It bears all the tell tale hallmarks of a rip off. But once the Banana Splits start killing off members of the audience and the crew, it becomes a good time. The show at the end with the producer who is canceling them enacting their namesake is a treat to behold. I give this movie a C. It is worth checking out if you like your horror on the comedic side.

Invader ZIM: Enter the Florpus (2019 TV Movie)

Wow this movie was amazing

[9/10 · 26 August 2019]

Invader Zim:Enter the Florpus Directed by Jhonen Vasquez, Young Kyun Park and Hong-Seung Yoon. Written by Jhonen Vasquez, Breehn Burns and Gary Wilson

Who would have thought that after 20 years Invader Zim has come back. The little insane cartoon that Nickelodeon barely let continue during its initial run. It was grotesque and wild and funny. The movie brings back the original creator and it continues in this vein and it is glorious.

Sometimes this resurge of nostalgia can be a good thing. I got back Joe Bob Briggs on a weekly basis with the Last Drive In and now Invader Zim got a movie and so did Rocko's Modern Life. The only issue I have with this resurgence of old shows coming back is us forcing our childhood on our kids. We are eventually going to run out of old shows.

But that's not the point. The point is to celebrate because Invader Zim:Enter the Florpus is magic. It is like it never went away. It is wildly grotesque. It is very funny. It made me laugh out loud several times. The animation is beautiful and gross and it fits in so much in its short runtime. The runtime might be short but it is the perfect length. This movie is also a good way to conclude the story. It is open ended enough while concluding the story lines from the show. Shows rarely get this kind of closure.

This is an excellent movie. I think if you were even mildly curious about Invader Zim. You should definitely check it out. If you're a fan of the show, it's imperative you see this now. It is worth checking out once to get the feel of the jokes and the insanity. It is worth checking out again to see all the background jokes you might have missed before. This was just delightful. I give this movie an A.

Den of Thieves (2018)

A missed opportunity

[4/10 · 26 August 2019]

Den of Thieves Written and directed by Christian Gudegast

Gerard Butler as a hard drinking cop with family issues chasing down a team of finely tuned bank robbers, what could go wrong with this idea? Well if the bank robbers are basically automations. They have little to no personality. Gerard Butler is the only character in the movie with any sort of nuisance and personality. It makes getting through this movie a slog.

The reason for that is because there is little to no action in this action film. We need strong characters to lead us on this path. There is a way to do this type of movie. There are actually two very strong examples. One being Heat directed by Michael Mann and the other is The Town directed by Ben Affleck. They have strong characters and a good back and forth between the cop chasing the robber and the crew themselves. Den of Thieves tries to make the hunt interesting but fails because Pablo Schrieber is a wooden plank in this movie. This hurts to say because he's a good actor in other things. Stoic doesn't suit him though. The other members of his crew which includes 50 Cent who has always been a dull block of wood in movies even the movie based on his own life and O'Shea Jackson Jr who has also been excellent in other movies.

As far as Gerard Butler's crew those guys are even more faceless. I wanted to be invested in what happened to them when they finally encounter each other. The movie doesn't use much in the way of a score. Normally I would love this sort of thing. It can work wonders but the importance of music shows itself when the silence doesn't work.

This is a missed opportunity much like Triple 9 was. Everything was in place for this to be an exciting action film but for some reason it just did not work for me. I give this movie a D.

Enough Said (2013)

a sweet movie

[8/10 · 22 August 2019]

Enough Said Written and directed by Nicole Holofcener

Sometimes a movie will follow you wherever you go. At work as I'm cleaning up, James Gandolfini and Julia Louis Dreyfuss sitting on their porch would peer upon me. As I was on the plane travelling to the labyrinthine Big Easy, I wanted to rid myself of this movie's desire to inflict itself on my eyes. So how was it, you ask?

It was a light, breezy film. The dialogue flows off of their tongues and the chemistry that James Gandolfini and Julia Louis Dreyfuss have is extraordinary. They just seem like they are naturally made for each other. They seem like such an odd pairing at first and the movie addresses this. They have their quirks and their past which plays an integral part to the story. Eva(Julia Louis Dreyfuss) meets Albert's ex wife at a party mere moments before she meets Albert(James Gandolfini). Eva is a masseuse and she takes on the ex wife as a client and they quickly become good friends. While the problem with this is that the ex wife complains to her friend about her ex husband. She doesn't know they're dating and Eva doesn't want to ruin this friendship. It is quite the dilemma.

It feels like a real relationship. You like this people. You want to see them succeed at happiness. They are lonely and their children are about to leave the house for college. The empty nest syndrome is strong in this regard. They are hitched to their children and their jobs. But they need adult companionship in life. They find it in each other. They find that but it's held together by a little bit of deception. This deception begins to poison what they have.

Eva latches onto the negative aspects his ex-wife tells her. She begins to see these things as irritants because her friend saw them as annoyances. They were not things that bothered her before.

This was a really sweet film. You want them to succeed in their careers and in their love with each other. I give this movie a B.

The Beach Bum (2019)

Genius biopic mixed with the meth fueled heart of Florida Man

[4/10 · 12 August 2019]

The Beach Bum Written and directed by Harmony Korine

Oh Matthew McConaughey and Harmony Korine you scoundrels. What have you done? How do I even describe this movie? It takes place in Miami and Key West, Florida. Everything is drenched in neon pastel colors. Matthew McConaughey plays Moondog, a poet married to a rich woman who drifts through life getting drunk, getting high, engaging in sexual activities,forgetting his daughter's age and wedding, hitting people into the water,stealing boats, and causing an obscene amount of damage to other people's property. But this is all okay because he is a genius writer.

This is an odd movie because everything is played for laughs. Moondog doesn't seem to be phased by anything. Literally anything that would bring a regular person to the brink of mental collapse. Moondog just gets high and moves on. He is constantly moving on through a series of wacky "friends".

It is funny for a brief moment until you realize how sad and pathetic it really is. The whimsical nature of the presentation is holding back the depression and the standards that he can no longer live up to. This is just a guess because Moondog does not care one bit. After a while, you stop laughing and wonder what the hell is wrong with this guy and why do people keep placating him? Where is this genius and is this worth the wreckage he leaves behind?

You'll have to see it for yourself. I can't recommend this movie. I was fascinated by it after the fact. It is a strange story. The performances are fine. They're cartoonish but they are meant to be. I would describe this movie as a genius biopic mixed with the sun drenched neon and the meth fueled heart of Florida Man. If you choose to seek it out, I wish you all the best of luck. It is a one of a kind movie. I give this movie a D.

The Haunting of Sharon Tate (2019)

Kinda terrible

[3/10 · 9 August 2019]

The Haunting of Sharon Tate Written and directed by Daniel Farrands

Hilary Duff stars as the late Hollywood actress Sharon Tate who is experiencing nightmares pertaining to the gruesome murders that take place in her home. Are these just nightmares or are they premonitions to a nasty fate? The real question is why? Why make a cheap horror movie about what happened to this real woman?

Well this is nothing new in the world of film. When terrible things happen to good people, it has a tendency to fascinate folks. Serial killers and cult leaders being very high on the list of subjects people want to watch endlessly. Charles Manson and his cult have inspired countless movies made about them. This is just another one. The only difference between this one and the others is the supernatural angle they go with.

That's right. Charles Manson invaded Sharon Tate's dreams. He has powers that turn on a tape player in the middle of the night playing his haunting music that contains subliminal messages. Constant violence in the dreams until the end which turns things on their head.

This was a bit of a boring mess. You watch Hilary Duff pace around her home and act terrified with a fake pregnancy belly. She doesn't look like Sharon Tate. This is not always a problem but in this case this role is not suitable for her skill set so it becomes a problem. I'm glad she is expanding her wheelhouse even if it's in one of the most exploitative movies out there. Everyone else seems to really be just going through the motions, playing one note they were given to play.

The director also plays this visually like he's Paul Greengrass. I think he might have been thinking if it feels more real, it might be scarier. It doesn't work. It just gives you a headache watching it. The camera is constantly moving and very rarely does that ever work. At least not when it comes to my enjoyment of a film. It becomes distracting for me.

I can not recommend this movie even on the basis of a sick curiosity factor. That's why I watched it. It stars a former child actor as a real life person who was viciously murdered and they turned it into a run of the mill haunting movie. It pays no respect to the life of the people who lived this and instead tries to turn it into a fantasy. It becomes a standard home invasion movie. Sharon Tate deserved better than that.

I give this movie a D.

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)

Whoa give me a second to catch my breath

[7/10 · 6 August 2019]

Spider-Man:Into the Spider-Verse Directed by Peter Ramsey, Rodney Rothman and Bob Persichetti Written by Phil Lord and Peter Ramsey

After enough time had passed, I knew I could no longer wait to watch this movie. It came out last December and my daughter has been raving about it since. I've let it sit and stew on Netflix for a while. Finally I simply couldn't take it anymore. I had to experience it.

When I say experience it, I mean it. The animation is something else. It has been described as seizure inducing. It could even be described as nauseating. It is something to behold. It feels a bit like watching a 3D movie without the glasses on. It incorporates a variety of animation styles each fitting in with the different Spider folk who find themselves in Miles Morales' universe.

This is still an origin story just not for Peter Parker. This is a story where we see what Spider-Man has brought to his various universes. It combines what it means to be a hero to each individual character. Miles Morales in particular since this is his origin story. The other Spider people are there to speed along his journey to his confidence. The Prowler is there to connect him to the larger narrative that exists. Kingpin is the catalyst.

There were some moments that made me chuckle. They don't spend much time on character development. I understand that this is essentially a kids film but the villains are given so little to do. It gives you just a sliver but that's it. It is fine but it weakens the story. The movie does get meta in a few places but that is something that Phil Lord has done before with his previous movies. He only wrote this one, not directed it.

The movie also moves incredibly quickly. It does not stop to take even a teeny tiny breath. If you couple that with the animation style, it can become disorienting. It is an enjoyable movie. I don't think it's one that I will watch again but it is definitely worth at least one viewing. Just prepare yourself ahead of time. Maybe some Dramamine. I give this one a B.

The Stepfather (1987)

Daddy is Home

[7/10 · 5 August 2019]

The Stepfather Directed by Joseph Ruben. Written by Donald Westlake, Brian Garfield and Carolyn Lefcourt

Inspired by watching some old school Monstervision episodes on Youtube, my daughter said to me that we needed to watch The Stepfather. My thoughts exactly. Why the hell not?!!

Sometimes that is all it takes. I have only seen the remake of The Stepfather from 2009 which was awful and the sequel from director Jeff Burr which was more of the same. I thought it was more than time to watch the original. I have to say this is a very 80s movie when you watch it now. It is trying to evoke that smalltown 50s suburbia appearance which makes sense since the Stepfather of the title is looking to create that picturesque familial unit. The kind of perfection only seen on Leave It to Beaver.

In reality we know this is a fantasy. Human beings and human relationships simply do not work in this fashion. Once the fantasy starts to crack, that is when things get deadly. Jerry Blake wants everything to be in place. It just has to be to maintain the facade that his fragile psyche is holding onto.

The movie starts by showing you what kind of monster he really is. It shows the aftermath and by doing this every interaction he has with his family and others, it gives you that feeling of dread. Normally this sort of obvious display right there in the beginning would negatively shadow the proceedings. Not with The Stepfather.

I think a lot of that has to do with the superb performance that Terry O'Quinn gives. He has that fractured personality down pat and he has that effortlessly charming persona as well. He nails it. This movie would not work with anyone else in that role.

This is without a doubt worth a watch. It is a classic in this genre. Forget the remake and it's unnecessary PG-13 bullstuff. Forget even about the sequels. The original is the one worth seeing. I give this movie a B.

9 (I) (2009)

Beautiful Nightmare

[8/10 · 22 July 2019]

9 Directed by Shane Acker. Written by Pamela Pettler and Shane Acker

It has been a while since I sat down to watch a movie. I don't know if you know this or not but I'm a cinephile. I love movies but sometimes I need a break from the relentlessness of movies. It can get to be the same old same old sometimes. Case in point guess what came out in cinemas this week.... That's right The Lion King done again almost exactly the same only the animals have no expressions and everything seems a bit more lifeless. Thanks for that. No I have not seen the movie yet but that's not what we're talking about here is a 2009 animated film which kind of came and went despite it looking visually fascinating. I'm talking about 9, the movie about sentient garbage dolls in a post apocalyptic wasteland fighting a giant scary robot monster and trying to survive.

The story is very simple. Nothing wrong with simplicity in a story. When you have such a wild world and characters like this, a simple story is a good thing. I'm not willing to make it as a negative in this case. It is more a survival story. You learn that these creations will do anything to survive. Their survival negates the need for in depth character study. We learn a brief bit about them but when you learn about the source that they're searching for, you'll understand why they represent one aspect of a larger personality.

Visually it is magnificent. It was a good juxtaposition with the Lion King. It shows how much can be done with animation. We want things to be so realistic in our animation that we're missing out on what it can do. 9 is an excellent example of what animation is capable of. It makes you fear for the genuine safety of sentient puppets essentially. They fear for their lives. They don't know any world other than this one. This hellscape where the sky has permanently been darkened. If it isn't grey, it has an orangish look to it. The machine that the source created to help the world but instead killed it. This monstrous machine is genuinely terrifying. It is a marvelous creation in that respect.

This was a solid enjoyable film. It is a beautiful nightmare. It is a simple story told with verve and excitement and terror. It is worth seeing for the experience of seeing it. At least just once. I give this movie a B.

Henchman: The Al Leong Story (2018)

Straight into the heart of 80s action

[7/10 · 19 July 2019]

Henchman:The Al Leong Story Directed by Vito Trabucco

Now you might not know his name but if you've seen any 80s action film or Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure then you know the man that this documentary is about. You know his face. I love Big Trouble in Little China and I remember these action films from my time watching 90s TBS. So I'm the audience for this documentary. Now normally I don't review documentaries. I couldn't necessarily tell you the reason. I think it might be because documentaries are typically about delivery, information and entertainment. How well does it deliver the information and how much you get from it. This is the core of what a documentary is.

Does Henchman do this? Yes it does. It doesn't wear out its welcome. I would almost say I wanted to know more about Al Leong and what led him to stunt work. It almost comes as an afterthought. He originally is interested in martial arts and then goes right into riding bikes. He seems to be a real fun loving guy and this is pretty much his entire story. He is determined and focused on what he sets his mind to. He gives one hundred percent to every role he takes. Along with this and his incredibly distinct look(the long hair and the Fu Manchu moustache) is why we remember him.

The movie does go into detail about what he specialized in weapons training. This is key to what led him into stunt work. It could also be right place, right time kind of thing. But naturally nothing would have come from it if Al Leong was just ordinary. Oh no the man is not ordinary. He was top in his industry.

One of my favorite movies is Big Trouble in Little China and this movie does a bit on Big Trouble in Little China. It says a few things on what Al ended up doing in the movie. It does this for all of Al's famous movies. Die Hard. Lethal Weapon. Double Dragon even. I watched Double Dragon so many times when I was but a wee lad. It's not a good movie but it is fun to watch.

I did enjoy the bit on the Rapid Fire fight with Brandon Lee before his death. It goes into detail about what this fight meant to Al. There is a brief bit about The Crow but it is inconsequential to the story of Al Leong. I almost wish they didn't include it at all. But this documentary really made me want to go back and watch Rapid Fire and Brandon Lee's filmography before The Crow. I know that movie by heart. Just a beautiful, haunting movie. It has also aged gracefully while still retaining the spirit of the early 90s in music and design.

I'm getting off topic here. Al Leong lead an amazing life and his presence in films and entertainment is insurmountable. You know his face and his essence. He provided the stunts and the action in many classic pictures. I'm a fan and I enjoyed this movie. That's all anyone can ask for in a documentary. I give this movie a B.

City of Lies (2018)

Quite Entertaining

[7/10 · 8 July 2019]

Down the Rabbit Hole #2: City of Lies

Directed by Brad Furman. Written by Christian Contreras

I travelled down the rabbit hole again and this time I find a movie where Johnny Depp plays an LAPD detective who is in charge of solving the murder of the Notorious B.I.G. and the twists and turns that he finds himself in while the city of LA doesn't want him to solve it. It is told in flashback as Johnny Depp's character Russell Poole is talking to Forest Whitaker's journalist.

Now I say right out in the open, this movie is not really about solving the murder because it's never been solved. Much like with Zodiac, it becomes about obsession and frustration. It becomes about resolving past issues. Russell Poole and the journalist Darius Jackson have history with each other. Darius Jackson won a Peabody for his report on East Vs West which made the theory that Tupac Shakur was somehow involved. But the truth is the report only made things more confusing. A series of other incidents lead to the truth or at least enough of the truth that Russell Poole comes to believe in. Again much like Jake Gyllenhaal's character in Zodiac.

This is a fascinating movie. You fall into the story being told. Johnny Depp is actually really good in one of his rare human roles. You feel him fighting against what role he needs to take and the effect that his decisions has on him. It's a shame that very few people have had the chance to see this, me being one of them. It is not available for the general public to see. He really carries the movie and takes you on the journey of the labyrinthine tangents that weave around the conspiracy.

I enjoyed this movie quite a bit. It never overstays its welcome and as long as you understand that the murder won't be solved and the journey is the destination. I give this movie a B.

The Clovehitch Killer (2018)

Intriguing idea and execution

[7/10 · 24 May 2019]

The Clovehitch Killer Directed by Duncan Skiles and written by Christopher Ford

This was a recommendation from my friend Mike Smith and from the Red Letter Media guys of which I am a big fan. I'm a big fan of both Red Letter Media and my friend Smitty. This was a really solid movie. It takes turns that you're not really expecting. You think you have everything figured out from the beginning. But nope we switch point of views and then switch them back.

This is a somber film that lives in the banality of the suburbs. It gives you time to get acquainted with this Christian family. They go to church and they play games on family fun night. They are Christian to an obnoxious level. The main character's supposed best friend is a d-bag of the highest order and when they finally have a fist fight over the outcast girl obsessed with murders in particular the Clovehitch Killer, I was so happy.

The outcast girl and the main character are under the belief that the dad is a serial killer. But how can that be? It is a procedural where the outcast and the boy are looking for clues where they might find out the truth. Then it switches to the routine of the clovehitch killer. You're turned for a loop for a minute. You're still hooked into that damaged mind. You find the answer the girl and the boy were looking for. They answer the mystery rather early in the proceedings and then it puts you in the shoes of the killer. There's a saying about the banality of evil. How ordinary these depraved things can become. This movie revels in that. It also plays with reputation. How the neighbors perceive you is just as important as the truth in this particular community.

I enjoyed this movie quite a bit. It takes a premise that could have been tired and worn out and turned it into a compelling story. It has excellent performances all around from everyone and it really digs into your skin and the skin of the characters. I give this movie a B.

A-X-L (2018)

A boy and his robot dog

[3/10 · 23 May 2019]

A-X-L Written and Directed by Oliver Daly

A boy and his robot dog. There you go. That's the plot. Whatever popped into your head when I said that is what happens in this movie. It has all the required elements. It has the boy who lost one parent and the other is unsure how to handle being a single parent going forward. The boy is a competitive dirt bike racer who runs into the wrong crowd. The rich boy bullies him and leaves him out in the middle of nowhere where he runs into A-X-L. He helps to fix him and befriends him.

None of this really matters. It is a story of this boy who finds a new friend and a new girlfriend and a new path in life thanks to robo Lassie. I'll admit the robot dog is really cool looking. The effects work on it stand out to the point of easily being the best thing about this movie. Truth be told, it's the reason I decided to give this one a view.

They waste Thomas Jane as the main character's dad. He has one decent scene where he outsmarts one of the government agents. The rest of the actors are bland and lack serious personality. But then again the robot dog is the reason for watching. He moves sleekly and it has a great look but as a soldier, the damn thing is useless. It gets easily beaten by the bully with the flamethrower from daddy.

This is a forgettable film with some good special effects but not much else. I would skip this one. You can watch the robot dog on Youtube. I give this movie a D.

Hostiles (2017)

A trip into regret

[7/10 · 20 May 2019]

Hostiles Directed by Scott Cooper. Written by Scott Cooper and Donald E. Stewart

I've been shying away from this movie for quite some time. Scoot Cooper's work is usually pretty bleak and somber. I'm down for that. I usually seek that material out. It was also a Western which I like for the most part. I'm a fan of Christian Bale's work and so what the hell?! Time to hop on the horse and embark on the journey.

This movie is about a reluctant Army captain forced to trek with a Native American family to their home. The captain and the chief have fought in wars against each other. They come bearing a lot of animosity and hatred towards each other. The chief and his family are more resigned and calm about things. The officers on the other hand are still as angry as can be. This is something that begins to fade away as they make their journey running into many obstacles along the way. This is the final journey for many. Is redemption a possibility for these people?

While there are bouts of violence, this is a calm and quiet movie. These men have lived their entire lives knowing that you don't show emotion outwardly. They bottle these things up and it manifests in dark ways. You can see on their faces and man there are some masterful performances in this one. Christian Bale has a scene with one of his injured soldiers in a hospital that shows the history between these two men and what that means to have lived the harsh life they did. The blood that was shed between the two of them. It is heart felt and you completely understand the pain and admiration expressed even as Bale holds back his emotions and his tears.

Rory Cochrane is the other performer in this movie that shines. He has his own scene with Wes Studi who plays the chief in an act of atonement. He takes drastic action when one of their own commits against them. He speaks to the Chief in his own language and everyone is there in his body language and his eyes. Regret, shame and hopefully some form of forgiveness.

This is a wonderful movie. The cinematography is really stunning. The vistas are proudly painted across the screen. The movements are all deliberate and meaningful. That's how you know when you're in the presence of something great. I really liked this one as if you couldn't already tell. I give it a B.

Avengers: Endgame (2019)

The perfect conclusion

[8/10 · 20 May 2019]

Avengers:Endgame Directed by the Russo Brothers. Written by Christopher Markus, Stephen McFeely

This is one of the most anticipated movies ever released. It is one of the biggest movies ever made. It has destroyed various box office records. This is Avengers:Endgame. This really is the end of an era started by Iron Man. It has changed the landscape of cinema bringing the idea of shared universes to the forefront and making all those studio executives jealous and salivating for their opportunity. But what is the movie itself like?

It really is 3 movies in 1 and it works beautifully that way. I liked Infinity War but my goodness was that movie utterly exhausting by the time we reached its downbeat conclusion. This one allows you to live in the aftermath. It allows you to focus more on the characters themselves. It is truly the story of Captain America and Iron Man. Their paths have always been intertwined. Tony's father helped with the creation of Captain America. They meet again in the Avengers and form a bond only to have that bond tested by Bucky turning up again as the Winter Soldier. Civil War culminated with their battle. Thanos showing up forces them to come back together to fight this battle. This is truly their film through and through. Everyone else is along for the ride.

Robert Downey Jr is Iron Man. He will be forever. He has personified this character in all the ups and downs. He has been the foundation of the entire MCU. Chris Evans as Captain America is the glue holding it in that spot. Who takes these spots going forward? I've followed them throughout this entire journey and I honestly think this is the best ending that could have been hoped for. It is the end of the original Avengers.

The action is top notch but then again for 200+million dollar movie, I would expect no less. They have some Back to the Future 2 style moments when they go back in time in an effort to steal the infinity stones before the big snap. There are some excellent call backs to previous movies in the ongoing Marvel series. This really is a film dedicated to the fans. I'm not sure if someone going into this particular film cold will get the same excitement and feeling but then again why on Earth would anyone see Endgame without seeing anything else? That's just insane.

I give this movie a B.

Scathing (2016)

A cliched filler mess of a movie

[2/10 · 30 April 2019]

Scathing Written and directed by Joseph Mazzaferro

This is an independent movie from a filmmaker based in Florida which used to be my home base. I know the producer and two actors in the movie. I say this because folks need to know what potential bias might be there as I review this film. I like to focus on independent filmmakers. I don't judge on a curve based on this fact. I feel like that does a disservice to them growing as filmmakers.

I did not like this movie. I should let you know a bit about what it's about. Plot summaries also aren't my cup of tea. But in this case I'll do a quick one. I know breaking my own rules. I'm a devious rulebreaker. Okay back to it, the movie is about a young couple who travel to a vacant lot in a neighborhood kind of far from the main hub of the city to do some late night necking. Well that lot ain't so vacant. It turns out a giant monster of a man who is a cannibal and murders people resides there. He traps them in their car much like the plot of Cujo. There's some torture and some inane plot twists and a lot of filler and ta da you have Scathing.

Let me tout some positives. The gore effects in this movie are top notch. It looks realistic and it works for the moments of shock value. The killer is imposing. He has a good look and his work is really well done. Allie Sparks has some decent moments. She plays the character well even if the character is super annoying.I love Lisa Arcaro in pretty much anything she does and she makes good use of limited screen time. Everyone else aren't really in the movie long enough to develop more than a passing fancy of set characteristics. In most slasher movies, this is par for the course. But with the boyfriend, this felt like a waste of a character. They're stuck in their car for a majority of screen time. You couldn't develop some character there.

I get that it's meant to feel a lot like Cujo but where that worked because of the rabid dog and the small boy, it doesn't work here. This killer had to never sleep ever. He spends a large amount of time torturing and mutilating someone that they could have run. This brings me to the end. I'm not going to spoil it because I'm not that kind of guy. It really negated everything that came before it. It tries for some kind of shocking twist but it falls flat and only left me scratching my head. The movie is also really dark and muddled. The color correction is pretty obvious but it also makes things hard to see and follow for this reason.

I enjoy independent cinema and I support filmmakers continuing to get better. But I have to be honest when I see something that I just don't like. I didn't like Scathing. It had a weak script that revelled in cliches and not enough character development before the depravity starts. It's not scary. It wallows in gore however well done that may be. It is frustrating in bad ways. I give this movie an F.

Mandy (I) (2018)

A Hypnotic Nightmare

[7/10 · 19 April 2019]

Mandy Directed by Panos Cosmatos. Written by Panos Cosmatos and Aaron Stewart-Ahn

It took me a while to get the fortitude together to brave this one. I'm not saying that this movie was so bad, it scared me to see because that doesn't bother me. I was apprehensive due to what was written about it beforehand. Slow moving movies are not usually my thing. Overly color corrected heavily stylized movies can be a drag. This one wasn't necessarily. It is hypnotic and lulling you into a sense of complacency. Then it gets nuts.

It highlights a different color in every scene. It is like a beautiful painting and there is very little dialogue. But once things get crazy, the filmmaker washes the entire movie in a blood red that feels like you're inside a hellish inferno. It is a very simple story and the style is the reason it doesn't fall by the wayside. It might even be the reason it is still talked about garnering attention.

The heavy color correction does make things difficult to see and your eyes will require some time to adjust so you're able to watch and appreciate the story. Their relationship is quiet and sweet. You feel for what happens to them. It works to pull you into the revenge. The LSD scene is really well done. The few times we do get extended scenes of dialogue they are excellently executed.

But my lord is this movie way too long. It runs a little over 2 hours and you feel it in your very bones. If this had been the length of You Might Be the Killer we would have been in good business. It just kept going. Everything seems to happen easily for him but of course because it needs to flow like a river and not really focus on character development. That's not its reason for existing. It is designed to put you in the middle of what is happening. You know this when the LSD scene comes on.

I would say give this one a try if you like weird, very colorful movies. I do want to see this director's first movie. I liked it enough to give this one a B.

Glass (2019)

A disappointment

[5/10 · 19 April 2019]

Glass Written and directed by M Night Shyamalan

Expectations are poison. One way or the other, those expectations have no hope of being met and this is why I choose to avoid them at any cost. Well fellow film friends and poor unfortunate souls, I have fallen victim to my own rules. I succumbed to expectations. I really enjoyed Split. I remember recommending it and giving the movie a solid strong B. Unbreakable is a movie that I love dearly. I love the score. I can listen to it on repeat as often as possible. I love several scenes and the amazing performances all across the board. It was a movie that was ahead of its time.

This brings us to the sequel to both of those movies, Glass. I was intrigued with that ending scene in Split showing Bruce Willis watching the news about the Horde. I could not wait to see what happens next. I should have known better. You can't get your hopes up when it comes to M Night. He wants to have a more low key character crossover movie. He wants to take that character drama aspect of Unbreakable and apply to the story formula of the Avengers. It doesn't work. Not for the reasons you think it might not work.

Bruce Willis does not care one bit in this movie. Honestly I think the last time I saw him give a genuine honest performance was in Looper. Not for M Night though, no sir. I wonder how much he owes people and various agencies because there is no reason for him to continue acting. He very visibly hates every single he is in the movie. So why continue doing something that gives you this much displeasure? James McAvoy is having the time of his life. He is giving an acting tour de force. He could use this one movie for his acting reel. It's insane how good he is. Samuel L Jackson is great as well. He always turns in quality work. Everyone else is fine. It's the story beats that give trouble.

The girl who was let go at the end of Split is now suddenly suffering from Stockholm syndrome and has a thing for him. When did that happen? I was lost on this but I suppose it was necessary to set up each of them having someone by their side. It took me out of their story. The other thing is the silliness that is having water be your weakness. Water is almost everywhere. A good bottle of water can stop and that makes you a rather lame superhero.

The biggest problem is the ending. I'm not going to discuss specifics about the ending but it really takes the wind out of the sails. It's something that could have worked if it were moved to the beginning of the film. It would have made the film more conventional I suppose. It has that ending of Unbreakable surprise but it brings things down. The whole ending brings everything down. I was disappointed and I don't say something like that lightly. I give this movie a C.