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dmitri-giovanni
Reviews
Stalled (2013)
Don't do it
First off let me say I did not finish the movie. I am the curious type, yet I am in no way even thinking about watching this movie again. There is no way that it could revive itself, any entertainment value dies off quickly and is buried by horrible acting. Don't waste your time, this is not a ploy. Don't think, "If it is that bad I have to watch it." NO!!! It is worse than that, worse than you can imagine. I do not know how it has 5 stars. there really isn't anything else that I need to say, but IMDb makes me write 10 lines. If curiosity just takes over and you must experience it for yourself, don't bother with the whole movie (I almost typed film, which it isn't). Watch just enough to know just how horrible it is, then tell all your friends. The only enjoyment this movie brought to my life was trying to explain how incredibly awful it was to someone else...
Phobia (2012)
Phobia
This movie reminded me of my current phobia, as well as my lifelong phobia of movie shorts. Your first question is probably, "If you have a phobia of movie shorts, how did you come upon this one?" All in good time, sir. Who is writing this review, me or you? Huh? So, my current phobia is causing me much distress. As you know I love Mexican food, but here of recent, I have been anxious about cilantro. I have no explanation for this. It is not like I believe it to be poisonous; or genetically modified by Monsanto to kill off Hispanics in a sadistic, corporate-lead, new immigration policy, although, I have had my suspicions about avocados. I like the flavor of cilantro, I like preparing it for my own dishes, the tickly feel of it when I wash it by hand, the slight minty smell of it when I pull out my sharp kitchen knife, you know like the one the farmer's wife used to cut off mice tails. Before I go on, that is another thing, what happened to good, old-fashioned knives and frying pans? Now we have all these new-age, sorry replacements for something that didn't need to be replaced. Give me a cast-iron skillet and a good sharp kitchen knife and i can cook up a mess of colored greens that will make you cry. I use onions in my colored greens, lots of onions, so I will cry while preparing them, the salty tears add a flavor that will be specific to the chef. I have heard that if you chew bubble gum the onions won't make you cry. I have a phobia for gum, specifically bubble gum, but I am afraid that if I am offered chewing gum, it might be bubble gum, and like I just said, I am afraid of bubble gum; therefore, I don't risk consuming either. For those who don't know me, I pronounce "either" with the long "i" sound. you can re-read this post to hear it like I am directly speaking to you. I have been thinking about writing bedtime stories. I would really like to do lullabies, but I am sure that no one can sing as well as I can, and the lullabies true meaning would get lost in translation, so to speak. Oh, where was I, Phobia, it is a rather interesting short film, if you like short films. a really good short film is Paperman made by Disney, that one is so cute.