jaywensley2004 Reviews

Anyone But You (2023)

They made a "Three's Company" movie

[4/10 · 6 May 2024]

Anyone familiar with the show "Three's Company" will recognize the infamous "misunderstanding" plot device that serves to set-up this movie: at least one character thinks they know more than they actually do, and they make crucial decisions based on a misunderstanding that the viewer will go crazy trying to figure out why no one clears up by saying the one sentence that would spare everyone so much pain.

In this case the two "romantic" leads think they understand what happened "the morning after," but they don't. On the tv show, much hilarity would ensue. In this movie, what follows is two people acting like infuriating dolts because they stubbornly refuse to admit to themselves--much less each other--that they are both wrong about what they think happened.

Add to this an entire cast of actors demonstrating a caliber of performance that would barely pass on a sketch comedy show (think "Saturday Night Live"), dialogue that sounds stilted and scripted, and you get a movie that has some funny moments (again, think "Saturday Night Live"), but falls flat as a romcom because the romantic couples have no chemistry (especially painful is watching a lesbian couple who are the definition of zipless, prepare to get married), and the supporting cast is chewing the scenery relentlessly.

On the plus side, Australia looks beautiful; as clean and lively as Disneyland. I am of the opinion that the Sydney Opera House is the one perfect building the human race has ever constructed, and the cinematographer does that monument to the beauty of geometry all the credit it deserves.

Too sad that it was not in a better cause.

Free Guy (2021)

"The Matrix" Part 4

[8/10 · 16 August 2021]

20 years on, we have a fourth movie in the "Matrix" franchise.

I've watched all the "Matrix" movies several times, always looking for an answer to the question "How do we know that what happened to Neo was real?" The basic premise of those movies was that humans were being used as batteries to power the machines that had taken control of the Earth. The machines kept the consciousnesses of the human batteries occupied by engaging them in virtual realities.

Red pill/Blue pill? Nonsense. There is nothing in those movies that establishes that what we saw was anything other than the VR in which the machines were immersing Neo.

The new movie "Free Guy" addresses EXACTLY that complication. It also makes some excellent points about what e-devices are doing to humanity, and the path we are headed down. To wit: what happens when we become able to upload our consciousness into cyberspace?

I can't say much more than that about the film, because it would involve too many spoilers. But I will say that "Free Guy" is very smart, very entertaining, funny, and but for a few plot gaps (Why do Guy and Molotov ever take off their glasses?) and a high-concept Hollywood ending, would be a great movie.

The Sparks Brothers (2021)

Listen to the New Wave be born, and mature,

[9/10 · 19 June 2021]

I just watched a retrospective of 50 years of the culture I grew up in. And the musical track was perfect: Sparks.

From the monumental "Kimono My House" right through to the new album "A Steady Drip, Drip, Drip", director Edgar Wright perfectly reviews the genre of music I most love, by the band that best epitomizes it. Watching and hearing as the Mael brothers, their rotating band mates, and the people who produced and managed the band through their birth, experimentations with pop, punk, and theater, always to come back to the synthesizer sound that they do better than any band ever, is...not to be TOO on-the-nose...existential.

The movie tends to get a bit gushy; too many celebrities telling us how great the band is, how influential, how important. But when the talking heads are silent, Edgar Wright tells the story that is Sparks, a story of two artists creating art that is uniquely theirs, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer.

For the sake of music the brothers Mael want to exist.

Peter Rabbit 2: The Runaway (2021)

Don't underestimate Peter Rabbit 2: The Runaway

[9/10 · 13 June 2021]

Can a movie be self-aware? Of course, we've seen many examples of such.

Can it be done WITHOUT breaking the Fourth Wall?

I've only seen it once before: "Noises Off".

Peter Rabbit 2: The Runaway does it better.

Brilliant.

The New Mutants (2020)

There's 15 minutes of movie here, worthy of a franchise

[6/10 · 28 August 2020]

She's back.

It's no secret that for all eight seasons of "Game of Thrones", Arya Stark was my favorite character. I even talked myself into believing that the character played by the elfin Maisie Williams; smart, pure of heart and mission, and capable of making an ally of anyone; was not only deserving of ruling Westeros, but might actually pull it off. When Arya sailed-off into the unknown lands, I knew she would be the only character I would miss.

Well the spirit of Arya Stark lives on as the heart of the teen group that premiers today as "The New Mutants", and Maisie Williams acts the hell out of the role. From beginning to the end of the movie, she anchors this disparate, desperate group, wrangling (and occasionally wriggling) her way through the broken souls and bitter angst that, as usual for a Marvel Universe film, typifies the will-be heroes.

Not that Maisie Williams' Rahne Sinclair is the only character that rises to the occasion. In fact it is Anya Taylor-Joy's unfortunately named Illyana Rasputin who finally drags a movie that takes too long to get started, into the promised Land of Heroics. For most of the film Illyana is so unpleasant, that it becomes almost predictable the trajectory her character will eventually follow. But for a few minutes "The New Mutants" allows her to do it so well, that she creates a reason for this franchise to exist.

The rest of the mutants are so bland and ambiguous that they become little more than plot devices, including Blu Hunt as Danielle Moonstar, the ostensible central character in the story. Bleh! Her character is nothing more than this crew's Jean Grey--most powerful, TOO powerful, blahblahblah. Ultimately she becomes the focal point for the emergence of the love-struck Rahne (Maisie Williams) and the indomitable Illyana as THE new mutants.

I want to rate it higher, but I can honestly only give "The New Mutants" six stars. As I say, it takes too long getting rocking, and only sustains its energy for about 15 minutes. But that's enough to see that this team can be a franchise in the Marvel Movie Universe, if they can write stories that focus on two very strong characters, portrayed by two very strong actresses.

The Hunt (II) (2020)

The pig in the poster is named Orwell. There's good reason for that.

[9/10 · 13 March 2020]

Oh boy this is fun.

"The Hunt" had preview screenings tonight, and I am SO glad I went to one. I have not been this entertained by a movie in a long time.

Originally scheduled for release late last year, due to media spin about a movie most of the complainers hadn't seen, Blumhouse Productions delayed the release, while they waged a quiet counter-campaign.

They were right, to do so. This movie IS NOT what the hue-and-cry suggested it is. To be sure, "The Hunt"is about political leftists hunting political conservatives (aka: "Deplorables") for sport, but this is satire; tightly scripted, brilliantly executed, and with every trace of polemics themselves lampooned for dark...very dark...laughs.

"The Hunt" is above all funny. If you have the sense of humor for it. It is also grisly; filled with flying body parts and graphic violence worthy of the horror movies Blumhouse is rapidly becoming famous for. But all of that is in service to political satire from which no point on the spectrum escapes unsoiled.

Best of all is the direction. Delightful twist follows carefully delivered surprise again and again. And just when I though I had the algorithm figured out, Director Craig Zobel gently pulls the rug, and I laugh at myself for thinking I could anticipate any of it.

"The Hunt" is rated "R", and it earns it. As I said, the violence is graphic and real. The language is as legitimate as angry people arguing for their lives, and their beliefs.

I would not say that the movie gains any special benefit from being seen in a theater, but I have a feeling this film is going to be a HUGE hit, and if you wait for a home release, you may experience people spoiling it for you. At the very least, you will be an outsider, listening to people rave about "The Hunt".

I give it nine stars.

Nine very shiny stars.

Good Boys (2019)

Uncomfortably funny

[5/10 · 16 August 2019]

I laughed many times during "Good Boys", but there came a moment when I realized that much of what I was laughing at was 12-year old boys in situations that, if the characters were just a few years older, would be ugly, and evidence that the characters were ignoramuses and morally bankrupt.

There is an attempt at being heartfelt that redeems the movie somewhat, but ultimately "Good Boys" just cribs from a number of other films (most notably "Risky Business", "Ferris Bueller's Day Off", and pretty much anything that stars Seth Rogan), and uses young actors as props to make the vulgarity so inappropriate that it presents as funny.

Dora and the Lost City of Gold (2019)

Are you open to the jokes?

[7/10 · 10 August 2019]

The skill most demanded when making a movie based on a kid's program like "Dora the Explorer", is to make it interesting for the adults who are going to shepherd the kids to the theater. If the first wave of adults don't bring back reports of a movie that was entertaining for them, inevitably the rest of the adults will just sit back and wait for the film to be released on DVD or streaming services, rather than make the effort to attend a theater screening.

The success of "Dora and the Lost City of Gold" is going to rest mostly on the charms of star Isabela Moner. When she grins wide-eyed into the camera and chirps lines like "Can you say 'delicioso'?", whether or not the adults get the irony she conveys is going to mean EVERYTHING when it comes to the potential of "Dora" as a franchise.

To be sure, the reducted "Indiana Jones"-type story is interesting, though it has enough gaps in its logic that anyone over the age of 12 is likely to go "HUH?" several times before they finally just accept that the narrative is meant to be simple enough for their youngsters to follow. And the characters are every bit as one-dimensional as befits a live-action version of a tv show whose demo is the grade school set. But "Dora and the Lost City of Gold" is fast-paced enough to keep anyone's attention through its flaws, and if you stay alert, there are plenty of smirks and snark to entertain the adults in the room...if you are receptive to irony and a fair amount of camp. Oh, and of course a few poop and fart jokes.

Myself, I can't stop laughing at the memory of the scene in which Isabela Moner (Dora) hitches while delivering one of the tv show's signature lines: "Swiper! No swiping!" The verbal eye-roll as she boldly invites the audience to get in on the joke is...delicioso!

"Dora and the Lost City of Gold" gets seven stars.

Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood (2019)

Look to the title. It is meant to be evocative.

[7/10 · 26 July 2019]

"Once Upon a Time in Hollywood" builds slowly, but there is fun in the journey.

It has all the elements we expect from a Quentin Tarantino movie, including the violence. There are multiple storylines, goofy characters passing through, multiple timelines, it even plays as different kinds of movies, including a quasi-documentary that keeps intruding...and tilting the movie off-balance with its voice-over narration that seems so out of place, it caused me to think it was inserted so as to eliminate an additional hour of movie.

What Tarantino does in the telling of this story has been done in other movies. But I've never seen it done with THIS story, and though I've seen all of Quentin Tarantino's movies, I've never before seen it done by him.

"Once Upon a Time in Hollywood" is uneven. It has great set-pieces, brilliant scenes featuring bravura performances, and then it has sequences that fall flat, causing the movie to deflate a bit. But over its length it builds towards a climax that comes as a true surprise, and along the way Tarantino gets great performances out of his three leads: Brad Pitt, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Margot Robbie.

"Once Upon a Time in Hollywood" is a tribute to the paradigm-changing power of storytelling. It is sweet and sentimental, but in ways that are uniquely Tarantino's.

The Lion King (2019)

A new version of the Uncanny Valley

[7/10 · 19 July 2019]

When I was a kid, Sunday night was "appointment television." NBC would broadcast the appetizer: "Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom", immediately followed by the main course: "Walt Disney's World of Color".

"World of Color" was my introduction to all the great Disney cartoon characters. But most weeks the show would feature a great nature movie; an animal or an environment would be gently anthropomorphized into a story that I found very relatable, informative, and quite often emotionally moving. I still recall my favorite of these, a 1965 episode titled "Minado the Wolverine". These nature-films always used voice-over narration to tell their story; talking animals were for cartoon-use only.

Which brings me to Disney's new version of "The Lion King".

I really wanted to like this new "Lion King". I wanted to REALLY like this new "Lion King". And I think its execution is flawless. The cinematography is breathtaking, the rendering of the CGI animals is miraculous. The story is familiar, and deservedly loved. In the movie's action sequences, these all come together to make those moments riveting, perhaps as good as anything Disney has produced.

But in scenes when the dialogue becomes crucial, when the words are meant to evoke most strongly..."The Lion King" falters. I think the problem is that watching photo-realistic CGI animals talk, is too incredible to allow for suspension-of-disbelief. The reason the old "World of Color" films were so effective is that they relied on narration to reveal the thoughts of "nature." And the reason suspension-of-disbelief allows viewers to buy into animals-as-avatars for humans in animated films, is that the visual cues (animation) are copacetic with the conceit of talking animals.

And there's the rub for the new "The Lion King".

"The Lion King" is a fine movie, and definitely worth seeing in a theater. The scenery is lush, those animals are...dangerously beautiful (the state of the art in CGI is so exactly real, that I am uncomfortable thinking about what could be done with such technology should someone choose to use it maliciously), and the music and story transfer intact from the 1994 version of the movie.

But because I could never get comfortable with seeing "real" animals speaking human words and thoughts, the emotional power of the original gets lost in translation.

Crawl (I) (2019)

"Crawl" is all the better for being natural

[7/10 · 16 July 2019]

Happily, I found "Crawl" to be an unexpectedly good movie.

Certainly better than the summer's other "reptile" movie, "Godzilla: King of the Monsters". There are no "Super-gators" here, just regular-sized alligators, let loose by a natural disaster to do what they do naturally.

"Crawl" does not attempt to overreach, instead settling into an uncomfortable niche as a movie in which a couple of sympathetic and realistically flawed people seek to overcome a pretty believable danger, even as they work out the life-differences that threaten to drive them apart.

Solid acting, some beautifully evinced special effects, and alligators that are plenty realistic enough to make me jumpy, all serve a well-written, genuinely suspenseful movie. The only flaws I noticed were an occasional stumble into bathos.

The entire film is a credit to the technical craft of movie-making, especially on what is reported to be a small budget. The lighting and cinematography defy typical poorly-lit, murky horror movie tropes. In "Crawl" everything can be clearly seen...and heard...

Even when the viewer might wish they could not (an Oscar nomination for Sound Editing would be deserved).

And the final shot in the movie! No spoilers, but...brilliant!

If you like monster movies, "Crawl" is a solid 7-Stars.

Stuber (2019)

At its best, when it isn't trying

[7/10 · 12 July 2019]

"Stuber" is filled with familiar cop/buddy movie tropes. The only things original about the movie are the dialogue, and the chemistry between its two male leads.

And that is enough. "Stuber" is solid, summer-movie entertainment; fast, funny, and exciting.

Yesterday (III) (2019)

Less would have been so much more

[7/10 · 28 June 2019]

Danny Boyle has directed many good movies, and two; "Slumdog Millionaire" and "Shallow Grave", I would describe as great.

He almost had a third. But he walks on the ending of "Yesterday." There was a moment when the opportunity to finish quietly and with maximum impact was there...but he goes for a big finish, and in doing so, drives off a cliff.

The Dead Don't Die (2019)

A literate, droll, existential zombie movie

[9/10 · 23 June 2019]

Not what people expect or want from a zombie movie.

Minimal but effective gore, deliberately under-emoted, brutally funny, and oddly poignant.

With Tom Waites as....a Greek chorus? The dead don't die--"I guess they were always zombies."

"The Dead Don't Die" is wiser than a zombie movie is likely to get away with being.

Rocketman (I) (2019)

See it to hear it

[8/10 · 19 June 2019]

"Rocketman" is a weirdly surreal telling of a true story. But what makes it exceptional, and worth seeing, is the new arrangements for familiar songs.

The songs as performed by the star of the movie, Taron Egerton, are much more than covers. They are new versions of resonate hits, evocative of the source material, while bringing new elements that suit the vignettes to which they are set, even if they are completely out of chronology for the timeline of the story.

Essentially, "Rocketman" is a mediocre movie in which the story elements are interstices between outstanding music videos. But those "videos" are worth the price of admission.

Men in Black: International (2019)

Familiarity is in the memory of the viewer

[7/10 · 14 June 2019]

"Men in Black: International" is nothing more or less than a restart for the franchise.

While there are appropriate nods to the movie's predecessors, "MIB: International" simultaneously owes nothing and everything to the previous chapters. And that dichotomy is the film's primary weakness, because "MIB: International" is as formulaic as a recipe for Toll House cookies. Anyone who has seen ANY of the previous MIB movies, is going to be familiar with the main ingredients of this new one.

But that's okay, because the strength of the new MIB movie is that the lead actors make their roles fully theirs. Tessa Thompson as Agent M carries her part with credibility, and generates viable chemistry with co-star Chris Hemsworth (Agent H), even though the script and the direction lead the characters into a mostly platonic, sweet/no-heat affection for each other.

Chris Hemsworth's performance is a revelation. He shows depth that was never explored in his Marvel Movie Universe roles. In fact, in two scenes (explaining himself to Riza, and later, when he gives instructions to Agent C about what to do if the mission is a failure), he delivers single lines of dialogue with sincerity and gravity that is only surprising because I had never before seen Hemsworth demonstrate that capacity. Agent H IS heroic, and Hemsworth sells that message...convincingly.

While "MIB: International" is going to feel too familiar for fans of the previous movies, it is made for a new audience, one that does not know Agents J and K, and for them, I think this film is an excellent launch to a reset for the franchise.

The Secret Life of Pets 2 (2019)

Modern Parenting Fables

[6/10 · 7 June 2019]

It turns out that in their secret lives, our pets fancy themselves as parents.

Not just to their own kittens, pups and fledglings, but to our children. And in one special instance, to a Siberian White Tiger cub. This latter though, is the undoing of "The Secret Life of Pets 2."

For the most part, "Secret Life 2" serves as a collection of fables that illustrate various parenting styles. While it quickly becomes evident that some of the pets-as-parents are crazy, it's all in good fun, and told with some bright humor. Some of the would-be parents even demonstrate sufficient self-awareness to understand that they can do with a few lessons for themselves. Such is the case for lead-character Max, who recognizes in Rooster (voiced by Harrison Ford in a star-turn that proves what a great star he is) a role-model for Max's own efforts to be a proxy parent for Liam, the new, human addition to Max's family.

As an aside, Rooster is the best thing about "Secret Life." The character not only brings much needed sanity to the movie, Ford, as the voice of the character, delivers a line of savvy, salient dialogue so expertly, that I was bent over with laughter for the next minute. No spoilers, but listen carefully when Rooster explains the value of biting into an electrical cord.

Anyway, "The Secret Life of Pets 2" provides a sweet, and pretty convincing argument that, if a parent truly has good intent, everything will turn out just fine.

Except for that white tiger cub. The rescue of that cub from an evil circus operator becomes the central tale in "Secret Life", and the writers let the "tiger in the room" trap them into a corner from which there is no escape. Again, no spoilers, but the question of what to do with a tiger cub once you have saved it is, in the real-world setting of "The Secret Life of Pets 2", crucial to a satisfying ending. What we get is absolute insanity. Ultimately, this breach of logic destroys all hope that viewers will succeed in suspending disbelief so sufficiently, as to allow us to enjoy the cross-over between real-world New York, and the fantasy of animals as metaphor for parenting.

Animated movies are becoming one of the best reasons to see a movie in a theater, and "The Secret Life of Pets 2" is another strong argument for going to the cineplex. The sets and backgrounds are breathtakingly realistic, even as they present a world that is just sparkly and clean enough to be a fantasy we want to live in. And the textures and lighting do justice to the name of the studio--Illumination--that produced the movie.

There's a few scenes that are very intense, and a couple that may be too thematically dark to be comfortable for young children. But "The Secret Life of Pets 2" is very much a kids movie. This adult found much to smile about, and several good laughs, but at the end, I was frustrated and dissatisfied, by an adorable tiger cub.

I rate "The Secret Life of Pets 2" Six Stars, BUT... Ten Stars for Harrison Ford. Being able to only hear, without seeing him, speaking lines, is a revelation. For all these years, I never realized how great, how important, his delivery is.

Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019)

That... Was just AWFUL!

[1/10 · 31 May 2019]

"Godzilla: King of the Monsters" is ignorant, witless, and loud.

Really, REALLY loud.

I give it one star, but only because there is some occasionally interesting CGI.

Long Shot (2019)

Politics in a RomCom? Long Shot works.

[8/10 · 13 May 2019]

I love a good RomCom, no pun intended.

And "Long Shot" is very good.

A solid story, sharp-witted dialogue, and excellent acting, especially from Charlize Theron, who never tries to be funny, but becomes the center of the movie's best laughs.

And deep inside is a viable political message. "Long Shot" walks right up to the edge of being strident, takes a look...and says "no." Instead, it appeals to honest tolerance and sometimes, just a teeny bit of acceptance. To be sure, this came as quite a surprise to me, being that the movie is a major Hollywood release.

Sweet, smart and funny, there's even a few surprises; everything I could want from a romantic comedy.

Pokémon: Detective Pikachu (2019)

"Detective Pkachu" steals ALL its inspiration

[5/10 · 11 May 2019]

Plagiarizing the heart of it's story from Phillip Pullman's "His Dark Materials" trilogy, "Detective Pikachu" moves on to cribbing essential plot elements from "Zootopia" and Tim Burton's first "Batman" movie.

Executing all of it poorly, the movie wastes a great premise on a film that is too contrived for adults, and too creepy for kids.

Aquaman (2018)

What a godawful mess of a movie

[3/10 · 31 December 2018]

"Aquaman" is a war movie without strategy or intrigue, a quest story with as little motivation as a Dungeons & Dragons game played by 8-year olds, a love story with no chemistry, and a rip-off of at least 20 other movies, from the Indiana Jones films to "The Princess Bride."

There is no character development sufficiently complex to interest anyone old enough to know what character development is. There are holes in the plot so large that the movie repeatedly disappears into them (Where do the ocean's denizens dispose of THEIR waste products and pollution? The Atlanteans are technologically sophisticated, but they are a culture that practices superstition and worships war. What is the source of production, and the power behind the production, of all that tech? What affect is the ocean dwelling civilization having on ocean temperatures? And how come the land dwellers don't know about all those creatures?). The acting is brutally melodramatic, and all the big "plot twists" can be foreseen ten minutes into the film.

But it is a fine looking movie, with lots of dazzling CGI effects.

If you've got a 4K tv, I suggest you wait until "Aquaman" releases on home video, then check out a copy from your local library.

Uncle Drew (2018)

"The Hot Flashes," remade with men

[5/10 · 29 July 2018]

Like several of the jerseys so prominently displayed in the movie, "Uncle Drew" is a throwback, evoking the "heartwarming" sports comedies of the 70s ("Wild Cats," and "The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh" were two that came to mind frequently as I watched "Uncle Drew"). Playing on all the familiar tropes of this genre of story, the underdogs overcome personal and physical adversity in their quest to win our hearts and the BIG GAME.

Of course, "Uncle Drew"'s (almost) unique twist on the brand is that the team is made up of old (REALLY old) men, seeking redemption for the big failure of their glory years.

I call this ALMOST unique because in 2013 there was this movie called "The Hot Flashes" which used essentially the same premise.

Only "The Hot Flashes" did it with women.

And did it better.

The primary plot device of "Uncle Drew" is also the movie's biggest failing; Because unlike with "The Hot Flashes," which was cast with real menopausal-aged women, the basketball players in "Uncle Drew" are too young to be convincing as a bunch of too old, out of playing-shape seniors. And most of "Uncle Drew"'s key scenes and best jokes rely on the audience buying into the conceit that these are old men.

Giving credit where it is due, the roster of NBA and WNBA stars who make up most of "Uncle Drew"'s cast give credible acting performances; given that most of the dialogue is either scrupulously PG trash-talking, or GO-TEAM-RAH! encouragement, the script plays to their strengths. And "Uncle Drew" is entertaining in a Saturday matinee way. But in the end, the movie is insubstantial and doesn't deserve more than a wall niche in the pantheon of sports-centered comedies.

And that is in spite of the fact that "Uncle Drew" tricked me into seeing Shaquille O'Neal's naked rear end.

Mission: Impossible - Fallout (2018)

For the IMF, luck is a tactic

[5/10 · 27 July 2018]

There are chases.

My goodness, so many chases.

Car and truck chases. Motorcycle chases. A skydiving chase. Foot chases (running AND walking) There's even a helicopter chase.

And they are very well done; Sets, settings, photography; all are technically brilliant and absolutely gorgeous.

In fact, ALL of "Mission Impossible-Fallout" is technically spectacular. Even the acting is textbook precise.

But I found the movie cold and clinical. Such emotional connections as were attempted were all used as plot twists. And on that subject, "MI-Fallout" is overly complicated, as if the writers were TRYING to create a tour du force of bewildering, labyrinthine plot twists.

I did note one fascinating evolution in the series: This mission makes it clear that in the operational strategy of the IMF (Impossible Mission Force), reliance on luck is a formal tactic. "I'm working on it."

For action, "MI-Fallout" is a series of exhilarating set pieces. As a movie, "MI-Fallout" is a series of action set pieces.

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)

What a DISASTER!

[2/10 · 22 June 2018]

Just put a cape on Blue the Raptor and quit pretending that the "Jurassic World" franchise is developing as anything but a dinosaur-as-superhero series.

The plot of "Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom" is a botched mash-up of "King Kong," B-movie SciFi, and James Bond-knockoff spy flicks.

Chris Pratt is wasted. Bryce Dallas Harper is wasted. The villains are vapid, melodramatic caricatures (think of GI Joe's old enemy, Cobra and his minions). And there's this really weird sub-plot involving a little girl of suspect origins that seems to exist only to give pseudo-gravitas to Jeff Goldblum's cameo as Dr. Malcom, reprising his overwrought science-is-dangerous soliloquy.

Some of the effects (especially of the destruction of Isla Nublar) are impressive. But they are NO REASON to spend money seeing "Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom."

Where is Mystery Science Theater 3000? This movie was made to be ripped and riffed.

2 stars out of 10.

And definitely NOT a family movie. People dying grisly, graphic deaths. Dinosaurs dying grisly, graphic deaths.

Michael Chrichton's brilliant series dying a grisly, graphic death.

Trek: The Movie (2018)

As sweet as a Twinkie and as fluffy as the clouds in a Utah sky

[6/10 · 23 May 2018]

It's a genre flick. A group of Mormon teenagers participate in a three-day reenactment of the trek of a group of 19th Century settlers.

Or, as one character quips, "It's Mormon cosplay.

The cast performs with the melodramatic earnestness of a high school drama troupe. The script presents foreshadowing with a clumsiness that becomes slightly charming. The spiritual message is delivered with a heavy-handedness that is only a little hard to tolerate . But "Trek-The Movie" has a great heart and and it is most definitely family friendly. For the life of me I can't imagine what the MPAA saw or heard that motivated them to rate the movie "PG." If ever there was a live-action "G"-rated movie, this is it. 6.5 out of 10.