Change Your Image
rjackson7
Reviews
The Sound of One Hand Clapping (1998)
Director knows how to frame a shot... but not how to reveal a plot!
Yes this movie looks delicious and it's all dark and moody... but it's also a hodge podge, hit and miss affair. Kerry Fox can't really seem to understand her character or know where the movie is going. We share her confusion. The film is just a long montage, cutting back and forth to Sonja as a little girl being abandoned, a big girl growing up in a 'wog flat' with her alcoholic father, and an adult doing something so utterly inexplicable it just makes you screw your face up: She's visiting long lost relatives and family friends to tell them she's getting an abortion. Very bizarre behaviour, and the movie's stifling pessimism negates any possible sympathy we could feel for her.
It's just a long line of well framed, artfully lit, nicely crafted scenes that are each boring, harshly edited and barely coherent. The feverish inter-cutting serves no purpose given the triteness of the plot being unfolded. The movie begins to pick up some interest in the second half when we find out about Sonja's mum and what happened in "the war", but it is all totally unsatisfying, and the movie leaves you asking all the wrong questions: Did Sonja KNOW her mum was dead? Is that why she never even looked for her? Why was the dad so daft as to leave his girlfriend just because his 8 y.o. said to? Is that why he resented Sonja - this event is never referred to at all, just shown? Did they keep eating baked beans, or was it just that one time? WHERE is the father of Sonja's bub - hello? Can't the audience know *anything* about it? Or is that not 'arty' enough? And what did that embittered guy actually DO to Sonja in the car?? The scene where he makes an advance and she just walks out of the car just makes NO SENSE! The movie is so unsatisfying - life in the camps was just never explored, and there was obviously no budget to take us to WW2 Slovenia sadly. (I couldn't make out anything in that silly photo, and I have a BIG plasma...) It's been said that if any Aussie movie from the last decade was shown on a plane, the audience would still walk out - well you can add this movie to the list. It's so humourless and the climax leaves nothing resolved. The father's final gesture for his grandchild is touching, but ultimately serves only to highlight how vacuous the movie as a whole really is.
Honey (2003)
Pretentious Pap
I watched this movie because it was kind of... on... I knew I would regret it but I spend too much time trying to avoid awful movies so I thought "Time for a change". Big mistake. The movie is totally clichéd and totally unbelievable. "Honey" (sister of Peanut Butter and Strawberry Jam) is so ditzy she would not have stood a chance against the ghetto culture she is up against. She is 'attacked' by a gang leader but kind of... walks off... and then jokes about buying some mace. Wow! I wish more ghettos were so covered in marsh-mellows and honey-flavoured-muffins! Good to see a rap movie staying so true to its culture.
The emotional manipulation in this movie is just nauseating - she attempts to help a kid getting involved in gangs by getting him a hair cut. Good job Jess: you've shown him what important; heaven forbid that he grows up thinking that only looks matter. Her final advice to him is just genius: "Don't go back there." This movie should be a used as a textbook for social workers: It has single-handedly solved the problems of child delinquency and gang warfare.
Toward the end of the movie, the 'bad guy' fires all the kid dancers (after a truly ridiculous set-up) and then then "Honey" feels sick and nauseated as a black dancer gyrates next to a car. What?!? She has just *directed* and *choreographed* whole sequences of lewd trashy dances, and now she takes the moral high ground? Reflect on this: the movie is morally bankrupt, but it hides this from the audience under a thin veneer. "Honey" builds a career by objectifying women and flinging them around half-naked in front a camera like pieces of meat. But that's OK 'cos shes fulfilling "Her dream on her terms." Yeah good.
I know! Let's really save the movie by starting a charity to get young kids to learn how to be sex slaved media whores in (c)rap music videos! That will really tug at the heart strings of the prepubescent audience who fantasise of being a sing-star. Heaven forbid we do anything to complicate or question their rancid desires which will only lead to heartache. Let's pander to them to get more bums on seats. (Scantily-clad ones, preferably, that are ready to flaunt themselves in front of a video of dissipation.) It's not just that there is no acting or talent on display. It's not just that the characters are shallow and say stupid things like "I'm just your friend, not a main character in this stupid movie" (OK I made some of that up). It's not just that the plot is horribly contrived: "Oh, I happen to know thousands of millionaires desperate to throw their money at your stupid cause." It's that this movie is crap, but just refuses to admit it. If it did, we could have had a masterpiece on our hands, like Crossroads or Glitter. But alas.
Death Warrant (1990)
Above average fight-fest
Hmmmm, a six or a seven??? I expected very little from this movie other than a few good fights - I was so surprised by what I got that I have to give it a 7. Interestingly, Van Damme totally avoids the over-the-top martial arts that made him famous - there is ONE flying kick at the very end... and you don't even really see it. The fights, nonetheless, are good: Brutal, down and dirty - as you would expect in a gritty high security prison I guess.
The plot is interesting - the movie is mostly suspenseful and you definitely want to know why all the killings are taking place. I was amazed to see that this is David Goyer's first work - a promising start to his brilliant career. Some of the lines are corny, but nowhere near the cheesiness of an average Van Damme movie. In fact, the performances are very solid. Kilpatrick, in particular, is just brilliant - his smile and menace freaked me and my wife out totally. If his character was used more, the Sandman could have been one of the great B-movie villains.
So this movie really took me by surprise - it is almost certainly Van Dam's best OVERALL (taking into account acting, plot, suspense and so on - although of course Bloodsport has better fights). It's low rating at IMDb probably reflects that most viewers of this movie just want a huge marital-art fest. Well, it's obvious that the makers consciously decided against that - they decided to tell a suspenseful, quite thrilling, story - and have a few down and dirty brawls as required. Overall... well worth a look, just hang the preconceptions of what Van Dam movie 'should' be.
Ong-Bak (2003)
Greatest fights ever
For a movie with awful acting, bad jokes and a terrible, terrible plot, I can't give Ong Bak higher than a 7, but I give it an 8 anyway because this movie has the greatest action and fights scenes in history. It's real, it's raw, it's brutal. I loved it, and after watching the doccos on disc 2, I just *had* to watch it again. These guys trained for 3-4 years to do this movie, and it shows. The variety of styles on display, and, in particular, the overwhelming power of Muay Thai Boran, is just mesmerising.
This movie is so good, it had me comparing it to Enter the Dragon, Bruce Lee's epic masterpiece - great acting, solid plot, Lee's lucid philosophy of life strewn through... and of course excellent fight scenes. Overall, Ong Bak can't touch it - the acting and writing talent just isn't up to it. This movie falls well short of greatness I hate to say.
But in terms of pure fights and pure action - Tony Jaa cannot be touched and Ong Bak: Muay Thai Warrior is a work of genius, a landmark of cinema and it just blows my mind to consider what the human body is capable of.
Yentl (1983)
I couldn't hate it
Now I watched this movie because I heard it was "so bad it's good" - and I love movies like that. Now definitely Streisand has no idea how to act, and the score is overblown, and the whole movie is quite stupid, and the plot has holes you can drive a truck through... but I just couldn't hate it. Please let me explain: I hate soppy romances as much as the next guy (especially soppy romances that pretend to be intellectual, but are not, like Yentl), however Mandy Patinkin's brilliant performance as Avigdor kept me interested. He had so little to work with due to a poor script and a ridiculously contrived plot, but he manages to bring such sincerity and strength into his role that it saved the movie from being complete sop.
Yentl did not deserve its Oscars or nominations; Irving looked good but displayed no range of emotion; the songs were pitiful and repetitive with the sole exception of "Father please forgive me" (which would have really worked if not for Legrand's terrible score). Having said that, Streisand (who can't direct) CAN sing, and if you tune out of the lyrics there is some pleasure to gained from this (at least on a first viewing).
Intellectually, the movie says nothing positive about women, and it implies that women who want to pursue education will get so sidetracked by their emotions that they'll get nowhere. Two cheers for feminism, I guess. Nonetheless, the production, set design and costuming are very good, and although Streisand can't act her way out of a paper bag, Patinkin adds a notable dimension of depth and interest to this silly, but well meaning, movie.
Wah-Wah (2005)
It's just that good
This is the kind of movie I desperately hope for when I go to the cinema: A great story with great acting - everything else is window dressing. The British withdrawal from Swaziland forms a quite distant backdrop for this family melodrama. Absolute powerhouse performances from Gabriel Byrne (as an alcoholic divorcée) and Emily Watson (as an out of place American) join a watershed performance form the young Nicholas Hoult (from About a Boy), whose transformation from young boy to young man was one of the most compelling and convincing I have ever seen. The plot moves very rapidly through an endless cycle of unhappiness, family breakdown, drunkenness - and yet somehow, in the midst of this relentless pace, we feel for every character, and experience every emotion.
This directorial debut goes so many places - staging a musical, many puppet shows, exploring the clash of three cultures, the ugly face of racism, a boy's coming of age - and yet the central narrative of a boy trying to find grounding in the midst of a tumultuous family life is brilliantly conceived, and always at the forefront. The auburn palette of the film is accentuated by over-exposed shots and intimate camera angles; this movie brings a small, insular circle of families to life, and while it makes no pretension to explore African culture (this itself is pointed, since the Brits were so racist), it explores the crisis of the modern family as well as cinema can possibly hope to.
The tragic, show stopping revelation at the end concerning Byrne's character demands the whole movie be re-watched; it is an epiphany for Hoult, and it just may leave you thinking for a long time to come: What is the essence of a family? If love isn't enough, what is? There is a scene in the middle of the film where Hoult is transposed with Malclom McDowell's character from A Clockwork Orange. By the end of the movie I had my mind made up: Yes, Wah Wah can indeed stand proudly alongside the great films of cinema history, it's just that good.
Shadowlands (1993)
A marriage of Lewis' young and mature theology
As a theology student and devotee of Lewis' work (including all of his literature criticism), I loved this film. It was very close to the play, but more melodramatic, which serves better for a movie. It focuses entirely on his relation with Elena (Joy), leaving out his earlier romantic relationships, and that's fine because there's only so much you can fit in a movie.
Lewis' basic outlook of life is that we all seek an inner contentment called "joy" which nothing can quite fulfill (although poetry and selfless love come close). This is most closely analysed in his early work "Pilgrim's Regress". Ultimately, if we're honest with ourself, our desire for joy will drive us to God. To paraphrase Lewis, once we come face to face with our true self (our hunger for fulfillment) then we can come face to face with God (that's from "Till we have faces").
Lewis' mature theology (seen clearly in "The Great Divorce") is that all of our joy has sorrow mixed in (since we know it can't last) and all of our sorrow has joy mixed in (since it shows that we care). Hence, our present life will prove to be as much a heaven (joy overcoming sorrow) or as much a hell (sorrow overcoming joy) as we choose it to be. This complex idea is basically a reflection on Jesus' point that our eternal life can indeed begin now (John 6) and also that for non-Christians, our damnation has already begun (Romans 1).
In its subtext, Shadowlands clearly charts the movement from Lewis's young idea to his mature idea, since the latter follows on from the former. It is a great accomplishment for a love story!
Yesspeak (2003)
For fans only
This doco falls so far short of what it could have been. If this is the 35th anniversary celebration, why not talk to Peter Banks, Bruford, Kaye or Rabin? Why just focus on current members and one tour? The narrative by Roger Daltry so "Wow! Can you believe it? Whoo hoo!" that only fans will connect with it. A non fan will probably be left checking his or her watch, especially when they are left with hours of talking heads from old guys who seem very boring and uninspiring when they are not on stage.
Yes, they are candid. Yes, they form the greatest band ever, but does this doco reveal anything that a Yesfan doesn't already know, or anything a non-fan will care to hear? OK, Rick thinks Trevor Horn is the greatest producer ever; Jon clearly sings the line "Cos HIS time is time in time with your time..." But in all, the interviews are tiresome and uninspired. Ask yourself the question: "After watching it once, will you ever put it on again?" If not, why bother? The biggest let down of all, of course, is the audio only concert. Please - a 2 DVD set, and no filming of the concert? Even the audio is not worth it, since the concert has been chopped down into a series of songs, with no continuity at all, so it just feels like a session, not a concert with an audience being connected with at all. I was so disappointed, since I had seen this tour in Sydney, and would have loved to have the concert in full.
Yes fans like me will buy this, watch it once, and then file it away just so they can say they have it. No one else will bother, and they'll have made the right decision. If you want to SEE Yes, buy Yes Symphonic Live (and even then, throw out disc 2). It is an infinitely more worthy offering for 1 reason: They filmed a concert and put it on a DVD. Let the music tell the story, that's how Yesmusic should be.
The Matrix Reloaded (2003)
Truly the worst movie of all time in the entire universe
Too many people see a bad movie and then say "That was the worst movie ever" without thinking about it long enough. Well, I've seen many movies, thought about this one for a long, long time and THERE IS NO DOUBT: Matrix 2 is the greatest atrocity to film-making ever. No alien race and no era of man - could ever produce a movie worse than this. I could only imagine someone disagreeing with me if they have seen Matrix 3. If you have, I feel deeply sorry for you, even more so than the shared sorrow you must feel for me, knowing that I too have sat through this utter refuse.
Compared to this, "Howard the Duck" has a plot like the "Godfather", "Scooby Doo" had special effects as good as "The Lord of the Rings", "Glitter" had the impact of "Apocalypse Now", "The Spice Movie" had acting like "A Clockwork Orange" and "Gigli" had the power of "Platoon". Everything about this movie is an utter travesty - and it takes itself so seriously that it is a capital crime against the human intellect.
Some say it has classical references. I have a degree in classics and post-grad research in literature and can say with certainty that this pile of trash is an insult to every theme and philosophy it inanely goes in sight of. This movie was so numbing I did not have the strength to laugh; it was so preposterous I didn't have the will to cry. It simply left me feeling angry for having been so misused to sit through such nonsense; I honestly felt like I had been intellectually violated.
Despite my moral opposition to censorship, I strongly recommend all copies of this movie be burned, along with it's successor.
The first Matrix was OK though.
The Lion King (1994)
This movie really is rubbish
I apologise to all those captivated by the African landscapes and orchestral harmonies, but this movie is disjointed and shallow. The mass of names credited with the "Story" says it all - this movie is a bunch of disconnected scenes thrown together with absolutely no character cohesion at all. Some examples:
Simba and Narla bicker and argue. They then sing "Can you feel the love tonight?" They then IMMEDIATELY continue to bicker and argue, and part ways.
Simba goes from little kid to mature adult - Timon and Pumba do not age a day.
After Mufasa safely brings himself and Simba up the cliff, he is then thrown to his death, and Simba never sees this as unusual or even wonder why.
There are absolutely no male lions anywhere in the entire movie other than Mufasa, Scar and Simba - an entire tribe of Lions at pride rock, with no males at all.
Timon and Pumba play absolutely no role in the plot, meaning or interest of the movie. They are shallow comic diversions that have no place being there. Their theme song (Hakuna Matata) contradicts the entire message of the movie, which is to live up to your responsibilities instead of ignoring them.
Not one lion in Pride Rock EVER wonders what happened to Simba, and nor does the annoying bird Zazu, who was right there when it all happened - this is utterly ridiculous.
Scar would never have simply admitted to killing Mufasa.
After years of constant threats and derision, Mufasa is surprised when Scar turns against him, as if he never suspected a thing...
I could go on for a long time. This movie makes no sense, it is too scary and murderous for young children, and it completely lacks any emotional involvement with any character. The young Simba is utterly arrogant, the old Simba completely distant, and his change of character totally unbelievable and contrived.
Yes, this movie "deals" with many grand themes - it deals with them in the same way a food processor would "deal" with a 3 course meal - mash it all up into random unpalatable rubbish. Yes, the themes are there, but the movie has nothing to say about any of them, and they are presented in a completely disjointed manner. Comparisons to Hamlet is one of the greatest insults possible to Shakespeare.
If you want a good kids movie, The Lion King IS NOT IT.
The Cat in the Hat (2003)
1 of the funniest movies ever
I couldn't stop laughing all the way through this movie, and it hasn't worn off despite repeated re-watchings on DVD. This movie is an overnight cult classic - I say "cult" because most people probably have a few too many sensibilities against "silliness" to realize how utterly hilarious it is.
The comedy is primarily satire, and it went over the heads of my 2 and 5 year old daughters - its aimed more at the 8+ child. But even for the tots, there is nothing subversive/violent/explicit that they will possibly be able to detect.
One thing that no-one anywhere has mentioned is this movie's greatest strength. Yes, Bo Welch melded the scenery and costumes brilliantly and Mike Myers never misses a beat. But the reason this movie is brilliant is due to its PACING. The editor should receive an Oscar, and I say that sincerely.
Dr Seuss forces you to read his books briskly - he makes you get caught up in his silliness and whimsical rhymes. Most people just fight against the text and read it slowly, thereby making the books devoid of life and zaniness. This movie captures the poetry and style of Seuss' timeless book in a way that is *supposed* to be impossible! The perfect pacing of the movie mirrors Seuss' works brilliantly - this movie is a unique and brilliant cinematic achievement.
I'm shocked that so few appreciate it. Of course it has no plot - it's a whimsical journey of fantasy. If Seuss were to be judged on plot, all his books would be rubbish. But in fact, they are timeless classics, with a unique ability to show children the power of language to elevate and inspire you. I understand that people today have forgotten the power of poetry and rhythm, but are we also losing our ability to laugh at ourselves?
After the Deluge (2003)
Rare find
This movie is pure brilliance - by far the most incisive and captivating look at contemporary society I have seen for a long, long time. Forget Lord of the Rings and The Matrix - this is one of Hugo Weaving's best performances - David Wenham and Rachel Griffiths are also brilliant (too bad there was no room for Geoffrey Rush and Cate Blanchett, but you can't have everything).
The World War II narrative is juxtaposed with the story of the three sons making their way through today's society - all the tension, tragedy and humor of family, birth, death, marriage and aging are dealt with with finesse and power. The way this movie truly captures and explores dementia startled me like no other movie has.
A daring and challenging story is pulled off flawlessly - without any faff, irrelevancies, clichés or Hollywood pap. Brilliant cast, brilliantly directed - this utterly unknown and completely underrated movie is a gem.
Special Features include director commentary, featurettes on making of, set design, costume and interviews.