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callmesalazar
Reviews
Prey (2022)
I thought this was supposed to be good?
Too long. Too predictable. The thickest plot armor. From the first few scenes I wondered: they speak REALLY GOOD English for 1700 Natives. Not only English, but that extra caucasian Californian English too. Took me out of it. I wish they would have dubbed the movie with English subtitles and used some authentic native languages. Yes! Women empowerment but directed and written by men of course. Nice try. Dan and Patrick. Jim and John and Lawrence. Ok dude. It's almost like they wanted to cash in on the trend of female lead remakes ala Oceans 8 and Ghostbusters. Elevator pitch: Predator but with a woman, no, a native woman, uh, in 1700? Sure! Everything you loved from the original but more generic with a basic coming of age story. Gross. Don't believe the hype. This is mid af.
The Pentaverate (2022)
Too many Mike Myers?
Is there such a thing? In the case of "The Pentaverate", yes. Mike Myers' characters are all too similar and nothing we haven't seen him do before. I think that's what made the original Austin Powers so great, there was not a Mike Myers prosthetic overload. It's kinda funny, but not hilarious, which is fine. Is Ken Scarborough a commentary on Mike Myers' own career (albeit a very modest one)? Just throwing things out there. Idk.
The Woman in the House Across the Street from the Girl in the Window (2022)
So baaaaaaaad. Kristen owes us an apology. She's been with Dax too long.
I can't with this series. I want my time back. Don't waste your time. Who wrote this? Who thought this was a good idea? So bad. Please unmake this if you can.
The Flight Attendant (2020)
Kaley Cuoco is delightful to a point...
I've never been a fan, but my significant other made me watch this and I think she's good at what she does? But this is Medium meets Nurse Jackie meets This is Us? Its TOO MUCH. Pick a lane and follow it. A flight attendant turned detective??? Who speaks to the dead? AND has a drinking problem? GTFOH.
Lila & Eve (2015)
WTF did just watch?!? Lopez must have owed someone some favors!!!
Great camera work. Viola and J-Lo are good, but this story went off the rails rather quickly in the first half and by the end a room full of grieving mothers stop the police detective in his tracks. And she gets away with EIGHT MURDERS. Ok.
La casa de papel (2017)
First episode was good.
It started off good, but then everything gets soooooo STUPID. I should go into fortune telling with all the stuff I called out from the get go. NOT GOOD. DO NOT BELIEVE THE HYPE. Anyone who says otherwise is an IDIOT.
Servant (2019)
BORING.
Not scary. Not creepy. Just boring. Boring. Boring. I don't care for the main character (mother) because she's played like a non relatable atrocious tv personality. Does she ever turn off? Then I found out it's the EMO girl from "Can't Hardly Wait". WTF. Look her up. Cast Michelle Lyonne instead. My opinion. I like the parody of the celebrity chef. The best part are the food sequences and all the wine they drink.
Love It or List It (2008)
Very predictable.
I love the banter between the hosts. But it's the SAME PROBLEMS EVERY SINGLE SHOW!!!!!
We're over budget!
I need more money to give you what you want!
And then the faux candid shots of the couple, who are obviously acting, is infuriating! The cameramen hide behind bushes like the couples don't know that they're being filmed?!? Come on.
The producers should be plastered into the insulation of the remodeled homes.
The best thing about the show are the actual remodels.
And if you research the show, the hosts are actors and have NOTHING to do with the remodeling or finding of new homes.
They shoot both a love it AND list it endings.