syphongb Reviews

Hoodies vs. Hooligans (2014)

Forgettable Entry In the Hooligan Genre

[5/10 · 8 September 2016]

Guvnors is a predictable "what is violence?", "when do men grow up?" type movie.

There is no match day aggro, any of that is just shown in brief flashbacks, so you'll be disappointed if you were looking for another The Firm or Football Factory. While we're on the subject, the violence acted out is good, well choreographed and mostly believable.

No, this is a tale of an old nutcase in retirement who comes up against a rising young nutcase, so far so clichéd. We're expected to believe that one guy (played by one of Rizzle Kicks lol) who inexplicably sniffs a lot and his multiracial cartoon character pyschos can become feudal lords of a half deserted London estate. The son of our antihero is threatened by a clichéd giggling blond loony, all weird head tilting and playing with knives, so the retired Guvnors firm are rounded up and pressed into action.

Are they saving their community? Participating in primal scream therapy? Mid life crisis? It's never clear, but the main catalyst is 70s songster David Essex, incredulously, flooring the sniffing gang leader in Britain's darkest pub then his later fate at the hands of our young Scarface.

I cannot buy the gang, it's leader, what they actually do (who buys their drugs, nobody lives there?), the sketchy flashbacks to "something" happening in the past...but to be fair Doug Allen does a fair job portraying the bored, uptight Guvnors top boy and we also bizarrely, considering this is London, get real life old Zulus top boy Barrington Patterson in his first geezer movie appearance.

Summing up - OK for a hungover morning or a sick day off work, but don't expect The Firm.

The Island at the Top of the World (1974)

Fantasy, Fun, and Facts!

[7/10 · 12 June 2016]

Largely forgotten amid the many other fantasy adventures from around this time, this one is a gem. A slow start, and the antiquated attitudes of the explorers are cringeworthy, but it gets going! Donald Sinden's aristocratic Englishman leads a search party for his missing son, they travel by airship towards the Arctic circle and discover a hidden land beyond the ice.

For me - this was one of the best depictions of Norse people I've ever seen in cinema. From the get - go, no horned helmets or fake snow, these people spoke old Norse throughout the movie, correct clothes and appearance, and their villages and buildings were beautiful. Great to see normal life for Norse people, and not raiding and pillaging! The special effects get a little ropey towards the end but we can forgive that, and the aforementioned Sinden is on top eye rolling ham form.

A great Sunday afternoon movie!

The Ones Below (2015)

Absorbing but Ultimately Mediocre

[7/10 · 29 May 2016]

Great cast, great performances, great direction...but the script...it was as if the writers either got bored of the whole thing or hastily finished it on deadline day.

An absorbing, at times very tense buildup, hints at something possibly occult going on, but then a rushed ending that didn't need the buildup! It begins with a kind of Rosemary's Baby feel to it but the plot and tension builds to a certain level then remains there at that pace for the rest of the film.

Well worth watching, but just enjoy the actors and mood and don't expect to be blown away by any clever plot twists and turns.

It should have been shown as a Sunday evening BBC2 play or something.

The Last Kingdom (2015– )

A Fair Stab At A Brilliant Book Series

[7/10 · 21 November 2015]

The Last Kingdom comes as welcome relief and an antidote to the likes of "Vikings". Where the aforementioned series portrays the English as terrified buffoons virtually bending over to receive the Norsemen's thrust, The Last Kingdom gives a more balanced and, almost, historically accurate take on the era.

The gradual coming together of the kingdoms of Aengland and the near 300 year struggle against the Vikings could fuel an epic series of full length movies, but Cornwell's books concentrate on a 50 year period with Alfred the Great at it's centre.

This TV adaptation is a fair attempt at bringing the much loved books to life, however I would have liked to see more of the BBC's gigantic budget reserves used to greater effect in some of the scenes. More battle scenes, a little more gore and a few more players would have improved things. The books describe the fear, the nerves, then the stench of intestines and their contents spilled out, teeth, fingers littering the floor, you're right in the action - I would have liked to see more of that! I'm also not convinced by Mr Dreymon. Too much "Legolas" about him, not enough "Aragorn", if you'll excuse the Tolkien references. Uhtred in the books grows wiser with every day, he soaks up experience and thinks fast, our BBC man just doesn't quite have the presence to flesh out that character.

All in all, an enjoyable series, great education for Americans and others in that it shows that the English were as tough as anything the Danes could do, special mention must go to David Dawson for his amazing portrayal of Alfred the Great...just a brilliant performance playing this complex and misunderstood king.

The Wee Man (2013)

Mildly Entertaining Watch, But Takes Real liberties With The Truth

[5/10 · 27 March 2015]

I read the book "The Paul Ferris Conspiracy" and really enjoyed it, it had a tang of truth about it and a compelling narrative. This adaptation though, it's a different story.

Never in the book, or indeed during Ferris's actual life, did he witness a point blank murder while a little boy. Thompson barely ever spoke to Ferris the whole time he dealt with him, he always got others to do business for him. His early knife crime exploits...Ferris went to lengths to try to explain that they always slashed, never stabbed...it's the difference literally between life and death, no young lad would have tried to carry out a mass murder like that! The gunfight at the beginning - in reality it was two guys firing old farmer's shotguns at each other, the film turned it into a Mexican cartel war. The revenge attack was just movie rubbish, total exaggeration.

The portrayal of Ferris himself was pretty good, and the Junior role was even better, although Junior barely ever got involved in violence himself. He was also a smackhead and more fond of wearing tracksuits then actual suits! Worth watching, but it's far removed from reality.

The Atticus Institute (2015)

Great Possession flick!

[7/10 · 7 February 2015]

I think the promo for this film spoiled it a little in telling you upfront that this is about possession and the military's attempts to use the powers that are released. That aside, the build up to the shocks is great. We see what the researchers think is the world's first real case of telekinetic powers then the realisation that dark forces are at work...by then it's too late.

Very believable documentary footage, all the government people were brilliantly cast...if you'd stumbled across this half way through you'd think it was a real doc for a while! The only thing that I had reservations about was the treatment of Judith. OK, once the military are involved in something then that's it...they can do what they like and nobody is held accountable...but the doctor claims to care about her and treats her like an animal...it just didn't sit right with me.

Somebodys There (2015)

Don't waste your money or time

[1/10 · 13 October 2014]

Absolute rubbish, there is nothing good to say about this film. We watch films with worst ratings than this and they turn out better.

Complete lack of atmosphere, sound, makeup, special effects, acting, music, plot, it has NOTHING

I have no idea how this was even allowed to be released...we weren't expecting The Exorcist at this level of film making but this is without doubt the worst horror movie we have ever seen.

I could have done better with my mates and a phone, in fact I think this is how this film was made.

Avoid!

Chernobyl Diaries (2012)

Great Idea, Poor Movie

[5/10 · 30 December 2013]

I've given this 5 out of 10 because of the great premise, the idea of tourists getting into serious trouble in the shadow of the Chernobyl disaster zone is intriguing.

The film itself - not so good. Clichéd characters, some poor acting, terrible illogical decisions made on every turn, no sense to anything that happens...it's infuriating to see a really good idea turn out to be such a bad film. It looks good - the scenery, locations, the atmosphere...points for that, but I disliked the characters too much to care what happens to them.

A diverting hour or so (79 minutes!) , nothing more.