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Strange Wilderness (2008)
I didn't know what to think... until I thought about it.
I went to see this movie kind of as a throwaway movie, as I was supposed to see 'There Will Be Blood', but we missed the start time. So, from the very beginning, I kinda knew what I was getting myself into, low-brow stoner humour and a ridiculous plot. Who knows, I'm thinking, I might chuckle a few times, I might fall asleep, I might be bored out of my mind, whatever. However, what I found was a movie basically thrown together with the intention of creating the crappiest, most thrown together movie possible. And it worked, ridiculously well. All too often, I hear about, or have the displeasure of actually watching, horrendous comedies by people who actually think they're making something good. Those movies always end up horrible. Strange Wilderness is just the opposite, it seems like a group of people (The main character even has the same name as the writer) got together, and decided to fool around with some film equipment, and edit their impromptu movie together to see if anyone else would buy into the joke. SPOILER ALERT... kinda: The last shot of the movie where the fourth wall is completely torn down, and you can even hear crew laughing, sums it all up: 'We were just goofing off, and we hope you guys found it kinda funny, too' ...SPOILER OVER. That was the payoff for me, and completely just made the whole, entirely over-the-top movie tie together perfectly. I got the joke, and I'm sure anyone who gets it will love this movie, too. It doesn't try to be something it's not, it doesn't try to be much of anything at all. And with that deliberate lack of effort comes something that you can't help but laugh at. Yes, it's low-brow, its raunchy, its dirty, its just plain stupid. But it definitely does stupid better than any other movie I've seen since 'Dirty Work'.
Don't go expecting something, because you'll be sorely disappointed, its not that kind of movie (even for an obvious 17-28 male comedy). But go expecting absolutely nothing (and know what you're getting into!), and I guarantee you'll be pleasantly surprised.
The Crow (1994)
A Possibly Great Movie In It's Time That Did Not Age Well
I really feel terrible writing this review, especially seeing everyone else raving about how great this movie is, and also, knowing about Brandon Lee's infamously tragic death on the set, but I must write on. Unfortunately, I watched this movie for the first time 10 years after it was released, I can only assume this was a costly mistake, the ruining of a legend for me. By the time it started, I knew I would be disappointed, and I was. To me, this movie was a tragic, god awful mess. Simply too melodramatic, too pseudo-poetic (psuedo as in what they tried to do did not work at all), and much too talky. Too many people explained way too many things that should have been inferred. Too many characters were stereotypes, mainly concepts represented by human bodies, and actors not doing a good job at portraying them. I know this may sound like blasphemy, but Brandon Lee, rest his soul, was not a good actor, at all. Actually quite the opposite. It looked like a terribly written movie with terrible actors, yet a big heart, that's the only good thing I could say about this movie.
The Village (2004)
How NOT To Make A Movie
What made this movie even more disappointing was the fact that I hold M. Night Shamaylan in such high regard as a director and writer. What I think was the key of this disappointment was that I think he knew that. Night knows people hold him in high regard, and took himself entirely too seriously. For one thing, what the movie reminded me of was all the things I believed I would always want to do in a movie, and he gave me a good lesson in why those are terrible ideas.
SPOILER ALERT! The first thing I thought would be cool was (1.) Kill off the main character. This was the only good twists and only nice surprises in the picture. Switching off the importance from Lucius to Ivy was a better idea, yet a less exciting idea. This automatically takes away all of the suspense. This also unravels the plot in a very sloppy way. Night unravels the foreshadowing in a more "HEY! LOOK AT THIS! IT'S VITAL TO THE PLOT" manner. That's awful directing. (2.) Create an unreal threat, a farce. This was a turn for the worst. I knew, as soon as I found out the creatures were fake, that this movie was going to be a complete bust. At this point, you have completely eliminated the conflict, the scare factor. The audience has figured out at this point that this is no suspense/thriller, and they're pissed. But yet, they paid $5.50 for this show (it was the first show of the day), so they stay for the rest. Yet this badly drawn twist totally takes out the knees of the final surprise. (3.) Turn the world completely upside down on the audience. BIG MISTAKE! This might have been a better idea had the previous twist not been such a let down, but such was not the case. By the time Ivy had leaped over the wall and "flashback voices" were going on about their terrible occurrences, I had already seen this "surprise" coming a mile away. It was just as Ivy was led by her father into the shed housing fake "Those We Don't Speak Of" costumes, I knew that a. the creatures were fake, b. there has to be a reason for fake creatures, c. they don't want people going in the woods, d. something is on the other side of the woods, e. the "real world" is on the other side. It became so obvious as I saw how ridiculous these "deterrant rituals" were (ie. just because the color red attracts them, doesn't mean that the color yellow deters them).
All in all, in my book, this movie is a failure. Even as the twists continuously fail, the movie turns out to be anti-climatic anyhow. The only thing I was impressed with was how Night turned up (This was also another HUGE hint to the movie's "secret"; Night cameos in his films, in Hitchcockian fashion, and a dark skinned man of Asian decent has no place in a 19th century village, duh.), and that was no huge feat. The score, although incredibly composed and performed, was terribly executed, and I found it obnoxiously annoying at times when it just wasn't needed, or was out of place. Both "Unbreakable" and "Signs" were incredible, and I personally feel that this movie was M. Night Shamaylan's "Bad Movie" (every great director has one or two). Maybe in a few years, he will stun us with another masterpiece, but I can honestly say "The Village" was the worst and most disappointing movie I've seen at the theater since "The Matrix Revolutions" and that is saying A LOT.