Sadly, the first episode combines the worst traits of the media and Hollywood, trying to make them seem a positive. Simultaneously, it goes out of its way to insult any alternative views.
Reviews
22 Reviews
A Wrinkle in Time
(2018)
A "pretty" trainwreck is still a trainwreck
8 March 2018
Might as well have been a Michael Bay Transformers movie; lovely special effects and visiuals, and everything else pretty much sucked.
First and foremost, if you are telling the story of a 60 year old literary classic that has been required reading in many school systems for decades, you should probably stick to the story, rather than making your own BS up.
Actor performances were either too over-the-top or shockingly sub-par, the plot they chose to cobble together blew chunks, direction was either bad or no one was listening. Yeah, it was a disaster.
And then all the SJW BS. I go to movies to get away from garbage like that. If I want to be preached at, I'll go to church.
Overall, I saw this for free, and I still over-paid.
Actor performances were either too over-the-top or shockingly sub-par, the plot they chose to cobble together blew chunks, direction was either bad or no one was listening. Yeah, it was a disaster.
And then all the SJW BS. I go to movies to get away from garbage like that. If I want to be preached at, I'll go to church.
Overall, I saw this for free, and I still over-paid.
Black Mirror
(2011– )
Pure garbage
5 September 2017
Started with s1e1 out of curiosity. Whole Episode hinges on if PM will have sex with a pig to save a kidnapped princess. Not only yes, but the show feels the need to show parts of this act of bestiality as well. Pure filth made worse by the fact Netflix is willing to air it. Extra Lines Added For IMDb's Moronic Requirement
Less entertaining and less educational than scratching my bum
23 August 2017
Warning: Spoilers
#1 OK, its not really Gore's fault he's not a very exciting lecturer. And documentaries tend to be boring by nature anyway. But there was almost NO new data in this schlock. Over a decade of research, and he comes on with almost the exact same old junk from 11 years ago? If I wanted to watch "inconvenient truth" again, I would have; slapping a #2 at the end to re-release it in theaters is why Hollywood is in decline. Even as a conservative Republican, I expected more from gore.
#2 Everything is carefully misedited to lead to wrong conclusions without actually telling lies; he talks about global warming leaving Manhattan under water and provides a picture. Except that the pic was from Super storm Sandy, a once-a-century cyclic natural event. He shows pics of Antarctic ice shelves collapsing, but fails to mention that the shot he showed is actually smaller than average for that time of year and that area. He shows Miami Beach flooding, but fails to mention its an annual event that's been occurring since the city was built.
#3 Short on science; while Gore makes some wild claims and impossible predictions, he offers very little science to back him up. Then again, that might only make this more dull and dry.
#4 Gore continues to hype "green" tech that he owns significant stock in, that other nations have tried and failed (no matter how heavily the govt subsidized)but still cant understand why people distrust him.
TL;DR over exaggerated scaremongering that offers nothing we didn't get from the first film.
#2 Everything is carefully misedited to lead to wrong conclusions without actually telling lies; he talks about global warming leaving Manhattan under water and provides a picture. Except that the pic was from Super storm Sandy, a once-a-century cyclic natural event. He shows pics of Antarctic ice shelves collapsing, but fails to mention that the shot he showed is actually smaller than average for that time of year and that area. He shows Miami Beach flooding, but fails to mention its an annual event that's been occurring since the city was built.
#3 Short on science; while Gore makes some wild claims and impossible predictions, he offers very little science to back him up. Then again, that might only make this more dull and dry.
#4 Gore continues to hype "green" tech that he owns significant stock in, that other nations have tried and failed (no matter how heavily the govt subsidized)but still cant understand why people distrust him.
TL;DR over exaggerated scaremongering that offers nothing we didn't get from the first film.
Suicide Squad
(2016)
Can I get those two hours of my life back, please?
13 November 2016
Plot> It had a plot? Mostly it seemed like they filmed scenes to justify the (admittedly) extremely awesome soundtrack. NOTE: if you don't love classic rock, you wont love the soundtrack
Will Smith: played will smith. Same damned character he's played in almost ever5ything since "Fresh Prince" ended.
Leto as Joker: felt much more like "Natural Born Killers" than Joker. If you liked that film about mentally ill psychopaths on acid killing people, you like this joker. If you want to actually understand just WTF is going on.....well, you're SOL.
Harly: Not quite as bad as the joker, which is a good thing since she's one of the two main stars the film focuses on (will smith being the other) But "bad guys"? Bullsh1t. The "good guys" are easily a thousand times more brutal and evil than these poncy pansies.
The rest of the team: 2 dimensional, if developed even that much; horribly predictable clichés
Overall, this movie looks and feels like some bureaucrat in the office put together a check-list of everything they expected to be in a "successful" super-hero movie, and the director just went down the list, making sure the boxes were checked.
The underlying problem is that DC makes its heroes gods, and keeps its villains as jokes. Its only the "G" rating DC still keeps, where its heroes don't kill the villains, that explains why DC even HAS any villains for the heroes to fight. And now DC is trying to make it seem that these jokes are somehow comparable to the gods that endlessly defeat them. And it obviously isn't working.
Will Smith: played will smith. Same damned character he's played in almost ever5ything since "Fresh Prince" ended.
Leto as Joker: felt much more like "Natural Born Killers" than Joker. If you liked that film about mentally ill psychopaths on acid killing people, you like this joker. If you want to actually understand just WTF is going on.....well, you're SOL.
Harly: Not quite as bad as the joker, which is a good thing since she's one of the two main stars the film focuses on (will smith being the other) But "bad guys"? Bullsh1t. The "good guys" are easily a thousand times more brutal and evil than these poncy pansies.
The rest of the team: 2 dimensional, if developed even that much; horribly predictable clichés
Overall, this movie looks and feels like some bureaucrat in the office put together a check-list of everything they expected to be in a "successful" super-hero movie, and the director just went down the list, making sure the boxes were checked.
The underlying problem is that DC makes its heroes gods, and keeps its villains as jokes. Its only the "G" rating DC still keeps, where its heroes don't kill the villains, that explains why DC even HAS any villains for the heroes to fight. And now DC is trying to make it seem that these jokes are somehow comparable to the gods that endlessly defeat them. And it obviously isn't working.
I pirated it, and STILL overpaid
21 August 2016
Well, lets be blunt: I feel sorry for Leslie Jones. Its not her fault the script wrote her character to be nothing but a collection of every negative stereotype about black women, and added on "knows NYC" as if that somehow made it OK.
Chris Hemsworth had fun getting to step out of his usual action and drama roles. But his character could have been played just as convincingly by a stump.
And of course we had to have the "designated fat ugly nerd", the "desperate and clueless", and a few other tropes.
Basically, if it wasn't a stereotype, it was a trope. The "great CGI" was all stolen from the originals, as was the plot and what few jokes that weren't based on blatant sexism or racism. To see Bill Murray and Ernie Hudson wasted in their short (few seconds) cameos was actually the best part of the film. All so Dan Aykroyd could squeeze some more cash out of the franchise. This probably killed off any hope of further entries.
Chris Hemsworth had fun getting to step out of his usual action and drama roles. But his character could have been played just as convincingly by a stump.
And of course we had to have the "designated fat ugly nerd", the "desperate and clueless", and a few other tropes.
Basically, if it wasn't a stereotype, it was a trope. The "great CGI" was all stolen from the originals, as was the plot and what few jokes that weren't based on blatant sexism or racism. To see Bill Murray and Ernie Hudson wasted in their short (few seconds) cameos was actually the best part of the film. All so Dan Aykroyd could squeeze some more cash out of the franchise. This probably killed off any hope of further entries.
Simply Amazing
18 December 2015
I vaguely remember my first introduction to Star Wars. My uncle had taken me with his family to see some horror flick at the Drive-in about a ship that needed to kill people in order to keep the engine running; I seem to remember grey uniforms and it might have a gun ship of some kind? I don't remember too well; I was young, it was gross, and so I didn't pay attention. Looking out the back window of the station wagon, I saw the opening scenes of Empire Strikes Back. I spent the rest of the time entranced, even without having any sound. My first "grown up" movie in a normal theater was Return of the Jedi. My mom had the Beta disks. I wore them out. I had the tape series. I wore it out. twice. Then, the movies were re-released. And altered. And the death spiral of the series began.
Most everyone complains about how annoying the prequels were. I was more wondering how they ever got made with so much blatant bigoted stereotyping. I have a thick skin for that sort of stuff, and I was starting to get offended. On top of very thoroughly documented complaints already raised against those rejects.
But this.... This brought back all the wonder, all the excitement of that little 5 year old looking through the back window, so many years ago. This IS the sequel we have been waiting 30 years for. And it was worth the wait.
Old school effects mixed with CGI, the classic musical score, a director that knew where to go and why, actors new enough to push their roles, while still experienced enough to successfully play them. Just enough questions answered to leave you fulfilled, while several obviously still await answers.
This is all we hoped for.
Most everyone complains about how annoying the prequels were. I was more wondering how they ever got made with so much blatant bigoted stereotyping. I have a thick skin for that sort of stuff, and I was starting to get offended. On top of very thoroughly documented complaints already raised against those rejects.
But this.... This brought back all the wonder, all the excitement of that little 5 year old looking through the back window, so many years ago. This IS the sequel we have been waiting 30 years for. And it was worth the wait.
Old school effects mixed with CGI, the classic musical score, a director that knew where to go and why, actors new enough to push their roles, while still experienced enough to successfully play them. Just enough questions answered to leave you fulfilled, while several obviously still await answers.
This is all we hoped for.
Trainwreck
(2015)
thank god it was free
18 July 2015
This takes the traditional version with the male "commitment-o-phobe" that you're supposed to hate at the start, and turn them into a family guy that you love at the end, and does a gender-swap. Nothing more. And the "commitment-o-phobe" part is straight from all the sources on the film. If you found this movie offensively sexist, but every other rom-com is OK to you, then it wasn't the film thats bigoted.
Acting was middlin' to bad; you expect that when ypou drag athletes into film. But even the regular actors weren't too good. Plot was a re-hash of the same old rom-com garbage. A comedy needs timing, and this one didn't have it; too rushed most of the time, some was just too juvenile. I get that the director like "raunchy", but it was getting down-right pervy with how long some of the garbage dragged on. And creepy-pervy, not funny-pervy. But then, the director IS Apatow. If you liked "40 year old virgin" you'll probably love this excrement as well.
As for laughs, the 18 and under seemed to find it non-stop hilarious. The 20somethings in the theater were a mixed opinion, and everyone older was actually wincing at what passed for humor in this film.
Acting was middlin' to bad; you expect that when ypou drag athletes into film. But even the regular actors weren't too good. Plot was a re-hash of the same old rom-com garbage. A comedy needs timing, and this one didn't have it; too rushed most of the time, some was just too juvenile. I get that the director like "raunchy", but it was getting down-right pervy with how long some of the garbage dragged on. And creepy-pervy, not funny-pervy. But then, the director IS Apatow. If you liked "40 year old virgin" you'll probably love this excrement as well.
As for laughs, the 18 and under seemed to find it non-stop hilarious. The 20somethings in the theater were a mixed opinion, and everyone older was actually wincing at what passed for humor in this film.
Supergirl
(2015–2021)
ugh
8 July 2015
As many people have pointed out, bad acting unworthy even of "B" status abounds in this. I spent the day watching kevin Sorbo "Hercules" before watching the pilot (so I was well numbed to campy gawd-awful acting) and it STILL sucked. Painfully, obviously sucked. I've seen High School plays with better acting and direction.
The lead is supposedly 26, yet acts more like 13. She's spineless, simple-minded to the point of near-idiocy, has no self esteem, and cannot make a decision for herself about anything. And this is supposedly a positive role-model for young girls. :roll: The sister is worse; smart enough to get degrees in bio-chemistry, but stupid enough to think she earned her job with the "anti-alien" agency rather than getting it because her sister is an alien.
The boss is every cheap "evil CEO" cliché the Occupy crowd ever chanted thrown into one, and then made female to keep the feminazis happy.
We're reminded perpetually that Supergirl is a girl, as if her "lady lumps" and mini skirt leave that in doubt (though I understand in California, those aren't signs of anything anymore) And yet, we're supposed to think that everyone's complaint against her being a crime-fighter is whats between her thighs, rather than the fact she's has no training, experience, nor aid. The leader of the mandatory govt agency (DEO: department of extraordinary operations; and their name is the least insultingly stupid thing about them in the show)even makes that point after some very ham-fisted feminist whining.
Jimmy Olsen is black now. I wouldn't care except that in Hollywood these days, its required that blacks be portrayed as "cool sex magnets" in most film. The character Jimmy Olsen, across all the 80 years of the franchise, can be summed up in one word: Geek. Thats who he is, what he is, what he's supposed to be. They could have made him a Black Geek, except the current unwritten laws of Hollywood forbid it.
Also, The "Black guy/White girl" pairing; Im so sick of this BS. Somehow, its supposed to be "celebrating diversity" to say that in a Supercity, a black man cant find a single decent, honest, respectable, beautiful black woman ANYWHERE??!!! That his ONLY hope of a fulfilling loving relationship is a white girl? What kind of Bigoted @sshat thinks that bullsh!t, much less supports it? All of the establishing character events are done in this episode, making it over-rushed and leaving you indifferent to almost everything that happens. At the end of the episode, the only reason you care even the least bit for supergirl is because this is so obviously blatant plagiarism of the Superman movies with a gender swap (quick, someone call Bru... I mean Caitlyn Jenner) That and the fact that at least three quarters of the episode is actually about Superman, even though they cant really say his name or actually show him in detail. (lawsuits) The major plot hole still hasn't been brought up yet: Kara was supposedly on Earth for 10 years after escaping the phantom zone, growing up; the alien super-max followed her during her escape. So just what in heck were a prison full of (who knows how many) super alien baddies doing for the 10 years that she was a kid? In all, if you want to see a bimbo in a miniskirt hopping around, Go to Tilted Kilt. It might cost more, but at least you get food and beer with the show, and the girls actually know how to play the part.
The lead is supposedly 26, yet acts more like 13. She's spineless, simple-minded to the point of near-idiocy, has no self esteem, and cannot make a decision for herself about anything. And this is supposedly a positive role-model for young girls. :roll: The sister is worse; smart enough to get degrees in bio-chemistry, but stupid enough to think she earned her job with the "anti-alien" agency rather than getting it because her sister is an alien.
The boss is every cheap "evil CEO" cliché the Occupy crowd ever chanted thrown into one, and then made female to keep the feminazis happy.
We're reminded perpetually that Supergirl is a girl, as if her "lady lumps" and mini skirt leave that in doubt (though I understand in California, those aren't signs of anything anymore) And yet, we're supposed to think that everyone's complaint against her being a crime-fighter is whats between her thighs, rather than the fact she's has no training, experience, nor aid. The leader of the mandatory govt agency (DEO: department of extraordinary operations; and their name is the least insultingly stupid thing about them in the show)even makes that point after some very ham-fisted feminist whining.
Jimmy Olsen is black now. I wouldn't care except that in Hollywood these days, its required that blacks be portrayed as "cool sex magnets" in most film. The character Jimmy Olsen, across all the 80 years of the franchise, can be summed up in one word: Geek. Thats who he is, what he is, what he's supposed to be. They could have made him a Black Geek, except the current unwritten laws of Hollywood forbid it.
Also, The "Black guy/White girl" pairing; Im so sick of this BS. Somehow, its supposed to be "celebrating diversity" to say that in a Supercity, a black man cant find a single decent, honest, respectable, beautiful black woman ANYWHERE??!!! That his ONLY hope of a fulfilling loving relationship is a white girl? What kind of Bigoted @sshat thinks that bullsh!t, much less supports it? All of the establishing character events are done in this episode, making it over-rushed and leaving you indifferent to almost everything that happens. At the end of the episode, the only reason you care even the least bit for supergirl is because this is so obviously blatant plagiarism of the Superman movies with a gender swap (quick, someone call Bru... I mean Caitlyn Jenner) That and the fact that at least three quarters of the episode is actually about Superman, even though they cant really say his name or actually show him in detail. (lawsuits) The major plot hole still hasn't been brought up yet: Kara was supposedly on Earth for 10 years after escaping the phantom zone, growing up; the alien super-max followed her during her escape. So just what in heck were a prison full of (who knows how many) super alien baddies doing for the 10 years that she was a kid? In all, if you want to see a bimbo in a miniskirt hopping around, Go to Tilted Kilt. It might cost more, but at least you get food and beer with the show, and the girls actually know how to play the part.
Avengers Grimm
(2015 Video)
sux!
1 July 2015
Poor Casper Van Dien cant seem to find a good film ever, and this was no exception. Good old Lou takes hokey films because he's still rich from his days as the Hulk 40 years ago; he knew how to invest. And thats all worth mentioning. I had to read the IMDb page twice to make sure I hadnt picked up a whore-core film by mistake; the dialog, acting, and womens' "outfits" were so gawd-awful. To find that this schlock was supposed to be legit, and wasn't just sleazy "r" rated near-porn garbage was shocking.
So, yeah, if you want to watch some bimbos in short, nearly transparent dresses with thongs underneath (which occasionally does have its charm, I'll admit) in a plot more see-through than the dresses,with acting worse than a Kindergarten class program, this is your flick. The only directing in this film was giving directions back to the trailer for "extra perks". Special effects were iutta the 80s.
In all, it sucked. I got it on Netflicks, and I still overpaid.
So, yeah, if you want to watch some bimbos in short, nearly transparent dresses with thongs underneath (which occasionally does have its charm, I'll admit) in a plot more see-through than the dresses,with acting worse than a Kindergarten class program, this is your flick. The only directing in this film was giving directions back to the trailer for "extra perks". Special effects were iutta the 80s.
In all, it sucked. I got it on Netflicks, and I still overpaid.
Jurassic World
(2015)
The film everyone WANTS to hate
21 June 2015
And I really don't know why.
The Feminazis got their panties in a wad because the corporate ice queen who decided that career was more important than anything, and didn't even look at the creatures she was charged with as anything more than number on a sheet, grows a heart, shoots down flying dinosaurs, and turns into the classic "Cowgirl", able to stand next to her man as an equal in every way, and do it looking like a lady. Somehow this is "sexist". Proof you'll never shut the feminazis up, so can Hollywood finally stop trying? All the "brilliant" commentary about dinosaurs and what can and cant be done: Its a giant fantasy. The greatest amount of discovery has only happened in the last decade; scientists are still trying to understand it, you can bet Hollywood ain't even heard about it yet. "Genetics has taught us more than centuries of digging in the dirt" was the simple truth.
The actors act like ACTUAL HUMANS would. Somehow that pisses everyone off. Sure, its trope-y; tropes exist mimic real life. You think the responses are unrealistic, how about we throw you onto an island where everything call you lunch and see how you react.
Most of the "flaws" and "plot holes" are either blatant incomprehension on the part of the reviewer, or they didn't pay attention, as the one who considered the spheres a "flaw", when the film actually wasted over a minute explaining why they were supposed to be safe. Or questioning why a .44-70, a round used to kill rhino and elephants, is "stupid" to bring against dinosaurs. Biology is biology, put lead in the brain, heart, or lung, and it don't get back up.
Now about the film: The plot is a rehash of the first film. The CGI is great. Most the acting is decent, if you're looking for human responses.
Its not as good as the original, but not as bad as the sequels.
The Feminazis got their panties in a wad because the corporate ice queen who decided that career was more important than anything, and didn't even look at the creatures she was charged with as anything more than number on a sheet, grows a heart, shoots down flying dinosaurs, and turns into the classic "Cowgirl", able to stand next to her man as an equal in every way, and do it looking like a lady. Somehow this is "sexist". Proof you'll never shut the feminazis up, so can Hollywood finally stop trying? All the "brilliant" commentary about dinosaurs and what can and cant be done: Its a giant fantasy. The greatest amount of discovery has only happened in the last decade; scientists are still trying to understand it, you can bet Hollywood ain't even heard about it yet. "Genetics has taught us more than centuries of digging in the dirt" was the simple truth.
The actors act like ACTUAL HUMANS would. Somehow that pisses everyone off. Sure, its trope-y; tropes exist mimic real life. You think the responses are unrealistic, how about we throw you onto an island where everything call you lunch and see how you react.
Most of the "flaws" and "plot holes" are either blatant incomprehension on the part of the reviewer, or they didn't pay attention, as the one who considered the spheres a "flaw", when the film actually wasted over a minute explaining why they were supposed to be safe. Or questioning why a .44-70, a round used to kill rhino and elephants, is "stupid" to bring against dinosaurs. Biology is biology, put lead in the brain, heart, or lung, and it don't get back up.
Now about the film: The plot is a rehash of the first film. The CGI is great. Most the acting is decent, if you're looking for human responses.
Its not as good as the original, but not as bad as the sequels.
Game of Thrones
(2011–2019)
The novelty wore off 2 seasons ago
17 June 2015
So, this started like most HBO crap: lots of blood, "in your face" nudity to remind you why you pay the extra instead of settling for the basic cable package, and sex more sleazy than the average Hustler vid.
Except that the women of Thrones aren't "amazing". They look like what the porn industry throws on the "amateur" flicks. And thats WITH the make-up. The sex was boring; there's more chemistry in a math class than on these sets. And the fighting and blood were clearly done by someone that hasn't seen combat or held any of those weapons or armor.
Oh, and the gay pandering is so blatant, Im surprised it isn't being boycotted. Im serious, until season 5 they cant do an episode without grinding your face in gay sex. It seems like the few rare scenes that Don't involve homosexual sex in some way are the incest scenes. I've heard of "blaxploitation" as a category, but what do we call this? "gaysploitation"? "homosploitation"? Should it be more insultive, as the "blax" is, to show contempt for the disrespect it does to the minority pandered to?
I guess the "kill a named character every two episodes" mantra actually comes from the books, which is all the more reason not to read the books, to me. If I want some pompous jackwagon that spends 2 pages introducing me to the character just to immediately kill off said character, I'll go back to Victorian authors like dickens, who were paid by the letter, rather than for content.
We're in season 5, and the only character left from the beginning that you might care about is Ari. The screen-writers have gotten so desperate Cersi is naked. I realize there's an audience for middle-aged women with buzz-cuts getting pelted with garbage and sewage, I just figured it was mostly centralized in German fetishism, not HBO "mainstream" audience. Or maybe the two are really one and the same?
The only central plots across the seasons are "winter is coming", because apparently in this world that doesn't happen every year? IDK, they never address why its so important that seasons, ya know, change and stuff... Oh, and the other is, "if you do good, your gonna get screwed". Every character that tries to "do the right thing", or act good, whether in character or not, pays for it. And in GoT, there's only one way you pay: death. Often with a little creepy-border-line rapey-time as well, especially in the later seasons.
Do yourself a favor. If you want to watch porn, watch porn. If you want to watch TV, watch TV. Avoid this hybrid abortion.
Except that the women of Thrones aren't "amazing". They look like what the porn industry throws on the "amateur" flicks. And thats WITH the make-up. The sex was boring; there's more chemistry in a math class than on these sets. And the fighting and blood were clearly done by someone that hasn't seen combat or held any of those weapons or armor.
Oh, and the gay pandering is so blatant, Im surprised it isn't being boycotted. Im serious, until season 5 they cant do an episode without grinding your face in gay sex. It seems like the few rare scenes that Don't involve homosexual sex in some way are the incest scenes. I've heard of "blaxploitation" as a category, but what do we call this? "gaysploitation"? "homosploitation"? Should it be more insultive, as the "blax" is, to show contempt for the disrespect it does to the minority pandered to?
I guess the "kill a named character every two episodes" mantra actually comes from the books, which is all the more reason not to read the books, to me. If I want some pompous jackwagon that spends 2 pages introducing me to the character just to immediately kill off said character, I'll go back to Victorian authors like dickens, who were paid by the letter, rather than for content.
We're in season 5, and the only character left from the beginning that you might care about is Ari. The screen-writers have gotten so desperate Cersi is naked. I realize there's an audience for middle-aged women with buzz-cuts getting pelted with garbage and sewage, I just figured it was mostly centralized in German fetishism, not HBO "mainstream" audience. Or maybe the two are really one and the same?
The only central plots across the seasons are "winter is coming", because apparently in this world that doesn't happen every year? IDK, they never address why its so important that seasons, ya know, change and stuff... Oh, and the other is, "if you do good, your gonna get screwed". Every character that tries to "do the right thing", or act good, whether in character or not, pays for it. And in GoT, there's only one way you pay: death. Often with a little creepy-border-line rapey-time as well, especially in the later seasons.
Do yourself a favor. If you want to watch porn, watch porn. If you want to watch TV, watch TV. Avoid this hybrid abortion.
Mad Max: Fury Road
(2015)
Must be a lot of people from the film bumping the numbers
4 June 2015
The first thing to note about the film is that "Mad Max" is almost a spectator in his own film. Practically everyone else gets more action and importance.
I realize watching a Mad Max movie for the plot is like going to a strip club for the fine dining, but.....these idjits didn't even try. We're gonna to run away, and then realize there's nowhere to run to, and then come back. Thats the whole plot of the movie.Two hours of car chase and explosions for one sentence of plot. And its a retarded sentence; the entire premise of this world is that everything is FUBAR; no water, no food, no gas, no nuthin. Not that anyone seems interested in fighting for any of these missing resources. Nope, they just want to run across the desert for 6 months, hoping to stumble across a paradise no one else has found. riiiiight :roll:
Then there was the standard Hollywood made up religion; atheists who cant comprehend the faithful mindset try to reproduce half-remembered stories "but with a twist". It fails as always, proving the lack of imagination, empathy, or even basic consideration of their fellow man that plagues the cesspool that is the entertainment industry.
Sure, the colors are pretty. The action is almost on par with the other Mad Max movies, made over 3 decades ago. Which just shows how little an accomplishment that is. They managed to seed the movie with endless "inside" jokes that anyone who's seen the first trilogy would see, but only a very select sense of humor would find "funny"; mostly it was just sad and pathetic. I wanted to see what this movie could do, not be repeatedly reminded of how ineptly it compared to the originals.
To call Max and Furioso one-dimensional would be generous, and they, sadly, are the most fleshed-out characters in the whole film. Everyone else is just the make-up department being given actors and told to create freaks. *yawn* There's 3 "reality" shows on sci-fi where complete amateurs do a better job to win an internship.
Theron is continuing her trend of terrible roles that fail to use her proved abilities. The male lead (who was so irrelevant to the film that I didn't even bother to learn his name) spoke mostly in grunts. Honestly, I cared more about Nox, the "red shirt" sidekick than I did about Max.
Then there's the bunch of girls in bed sheets that we're supposed to believe is some kind of "grrl empowerment" according to the latest feminazi BS. Stupid pretty sluts good only for sex slaves running away while a big strong man protects them. Gee, how could I miss the "grrl power" message there?
For all the BS about "great music", especially guitar guy, what little I could actually hear was simplistic riffs; Jimi Hendrix it ain't. Heck, Guitar Hero on difficult, it ain't. The only really impressive part was that when the dude hit the whammy bar, it shot flames; thats on the Pyro crew, not the musician.
And then, worst of all, the "Circ de Sole" pole stunts that were supposed to be a fight scene. That was sad, lame and pathetic. And then, when you start to look into the actual physics? Braindead f&%ktards should be beaten for that bit.
The bottom line is that I pirated this, and I still paid more than it was worth.
I realize watching a Mad Max movie for the plot is like going to a strip club for the fine dining, but.....these idjits didn't even try. We're gonna to run away, and then realize there's nowhere to run to, and then come back. Thats the whole plot of the movie.Two hours of car chase and explosions for one sentence of plot. And its a retarded sentence; the entire premise of this world is that everything is FUBAR; no water, no food, no gas, no nuthin. Not that anyone seems interested in fighting for any of these missing resources. Nope, they just want to run across the desert for 6 months, hoping to stumble across a paradise no one else has found. riiiiight :roll:
Then there was the standard Hollywood made up religion; atheists who cant comprehend the faithful mindset try to reproduce half-remembered stories "but with a twist". It fails as always, proving the lack of imagination, empathy, or even basic consideration of their fellow man that plagues the cesspool that is the entertainment industry.
Sure, the colors are pretty. The action is almost on par with the other Mad Max movies, made over 3 decades ago. Which just shows how little an accomplishment that is. They managed to seed the movie with endless "inside" jokes that anyone who's seen the first trilogy would see, but only a very select sense of humor would find "funny"; mostly it was just sad and pathetic. I wanted to see what this movie could do, not be repeatedly reminded of how ineptly it compared to the originals.
To call Max and Furioso one-dimensional would be generous, and they, sadly, are the most fleshed-out characters in the whole film. Everyone else is just the make-up department being given actors and told to create freaks. *yawn* There's 3 "reality" shows on sci-fi where complete amateurs do a better job to win an internship.
Theron is continuing her trend of terrible roles that fail to use her proved abilities. The male lead (who was so irrelevant to the film that I didn't even bother to learn his name) spoke mostly in grunts. Honestly, I cared more about Nox, the "red shirt" sidekick than I did about Max.
Then there's the bunch of girls in bed sheets that we're supposed to believe is some kind of "grrl empowerment" according to the latest feminazi BS. Stupid pretty sluts good only for sex slaves running away while a big strong man protects them. Gee, how could I miss the "grrl power" message there?
For all the BS about "great music", especially guitar guy, what little I could actually hear was simplistic riffs; Jimi Hendrix it ain't. Heck, Guitar Hero on difficult, it ain't. The only really impressive part was that when the dude hit the whammy bar, it shot flames; thats on the Pyro crew, not the musician.
And then, worst of all, the "Circ de Sole" pole stunts that were supposed to be a fight scene. That was sad, lame and pathetic. And then, when you start to look into the actual physics? Braindead f&%ktards should be beaten for that bit.
The bottom line is that I pirated this, and I still paid more than it was worth.
The Crown and the Dragon
(2013)
ummm, could be better
28 December 2014
For 2013, the effects are from the 90s. The acting isn't so bad for a B movie, and the plot has holes, but its good to kill time on a rainy Saturday. The whole time I got the feeling that this was a low-budget version of one of the popular book series (cant tell which one) and that everything missing would have made sense if Id "read the book first". But, it wasn't so bad; effects were cheezy, but not horrible, dialog was corny, but cute and worked, actors weren't great but did the job, etc. The rest is just to fill space for the policy; blah blah blah yakkity shmackity I met her on Monday and my heart stood still she do run run run run she do run run Someone told me her name was Jill she do run run run she do run run
Annie
(2014)
Remember the target audience is 6 year olds
26 December 2014
The 1970s musical is still being performed. And people are happy to rewatch it. The 1982 film is on TV a few times a year, and adults can tolerate sitting through it.
This? Belongs on the shelf next to "Bob the Builder", "Dora the explorer" and the rest of the infantile stuff your child should outgrow before starting the first grade, that you'll dig out in a decade to embarrass them.
To suggest that these characters were "one dimensional" would give more credit to the writer than he deserves. We cant blame the actors, there simply wasn't anything there to work with. The moron took a work of art that had been around 90 years, and managed to miss any actual character content.
Then we have the music; ye gods, the music. You don't take 70s Broadway and simply throw auto-tune and dime store canned hip hop "beats" (for lack of a more denigrating word) into it. Second, if your going to do a musical, thats FAMOUS, for the last 40 years, as a musical, hire people that can sing.
And then there's the "charming" message buried in there to make Foxx happy: yeah sure, we get it. You think white people and rich people are the bane ruining the planet. Bigoted racist hypocrite.
All-told, this was meant for today's 6 year olds. You know, the ones too doped up on Ritalin and under-educated to comprehend anything more than bright flashy lights and loud noises.
This? Belongs on the shelf next to "Bob the Builder", "Dora the explorer" and the rest of the infantile stuff your child should outgrow before starting the first grade, that you'll dig out in a decade to embarrass them.
To suggest that these characters were "one dimensional" would give more credit to the writer than he deserves. We cant blame the actors, there simply wasn't anything there to work with. The moron took a work of art that had been around 90 years, and managed to miss any actual character content.
Then we have the music; ye gods, the music. You don't take 70s Broadway and simply throw auto-tune and dime store canned hip hop "beats" (for lack of a more denigrating word) into it. Second, if your going to do a musical, thats FAMOUS, for the last 40 years, as a musical, hire people that can sing.
And then there's the "charming" message buried in there to make Foxx happy: yeah sure, we get it. You think white people and rich people are the bane ruining the planet. Bigoted racist hypocrite.
All-told, this was meant for today's 6 year olds. You know, the ones too doped up on Ritalin and under-educated to comprehend anything more than bright flashy lights and loud noises.
Knights of Badassdom
(2013)
Turns out its not just nerds that need to get laid
6 December 2014
OK, if you were expecting Lord of the Rings or Game of Thrones.... did you even watch the trailer? This was meant to be on the same level as Army of darkness (Good ol' Bruce) and Role Models. I find most of the complaints of the other reviewers shine more negative light on them than the movie.
Why do the rednecks hate the nerds? If you've made it to middle school, you already know the answer to this question. And yet someone presented this as if it was a major plot hole. :roll: Why does the one nerd know a dead language? If you know any nerds, you know the answer to this question. Most the reviewers here seem to be more "nerdy" than any of the "nerds" in the film.
In the end, most of the "flaws" the other reviewers complain of fall into these two categories: A) you didn't realize its SUPPOSED to be a B-flick or B) you're playing dumb to miss the obvious social interactions that most people live with from grade school on up.
Now, for the movie itself: yes the effects are B level. And not bad, if you expect that. The plot is kinda simple. Not only is that normal for a B flick, and indie films on the whole, there isn't too much you can do in a film thats supposed to cover a weekend. you get enough "character development" to care who dies, and not much more. "Gone with the Wind" this ain't, nor was it intended to be. Dinkle had to shoot this during the short break from his real gig. Many of the others had similar constraints.
If you want a funny, Saturday afternoon waster, this is great. Its even better if you LARP or some sort of reenactor, and can point out people you know like (X).
Why do the rednecks hate the nerds? If you've made it to middle school, you already know the answer to this question. And yet someone presented this as if it was a major plot hole. :roll: Why does the one nerd know a dead language? If you know any nerds, you know the answer to this question. Most the reviewers here seem to be more "nerdy" than any of the "nerds" in the film.
In the end, most of the "flaws" the other reviewers complain of fall into these two categories: A) you didn't realize its SUPPOSED to be a B-flick or B) you're playing dumb to miss the obvious social interactions that most people live with from grade school on up.
Now, for the movie itself: yes the effects are B level. And not bad, if you expect that. The plot is kinda simple. Not only is that normal for a B flick, and indie films on the whole, there isn't too much you can do in a film thats supposed to cover a weekend. you get enough "character development" to care who dies, and not much more. "Gone with the Wind" this ain't, nor was it intended to be. Dinkle had to shoot this during the short break from his real gig. Many of the others had similar constraints.
If you want a funny, Saturday afternoon waster, this is great. Its even better if you LARP or some sort of reenactor, and can point out people you know like (X).
Dragonfyre
(2013)
My opinion
26 September 2014
Oh my, the hate against this film... yes, the low budget DID reuse props from other films (especially LotR) so does every film company, big or small. You'd be amazed just how many films and TV shows ended up using that "cheezey" armor from the first Starship Troopers. Granted, the heroine using a "sting" replica was a little too obvious, but ya use what ya can get.
As for the people complaining of "never missing", either they're blind, or we watched different movies. I was laughing my backside off at how much dirt was flying. Apparently "Special Forces" training has magically gotten a whole lot worse lately, as the guy could only land about 1 in 10, and Scooter couldn't figure out how to walk a machine gun into a target at all; something anyone who's played video games in the last 3 decades knows how to do.
The actual tactics were surprisingly accurate. Don't know if that was accidental or intentional, but the orcs used actual movements, tactics, and formations that were used historically when we had that equipment. The soldier used fairly realistic military strategy. The redneck acted like a redneck. I gave points for that, even though Im not sure it was deliberate. Its so incredibly rare to see people in films that have even the least clue of what they're supposed to be doing.
Overall, yes, it was low budget. Yes, the story was rather predictable. Guess what, that plot is rather standard fare for a good quarter of the fantasy/SF genre anyway. Your not gonna find a new angle after 7 decades of works. It burnt up a few hours, wasn't as bad as Sci-fi or BBC effects, wasn't as insultingly stupid as most USA and TBS TV movie plots, had a few cute faces, some chuckles, and one or two moments of decent bad-assery, if you actually knew what you were seeing.
I've seen a hella lot worse here with better ratings.
As for the people complaining of "never missing", either they're blind, or we watched different movies. I was laughing my backside off at how much dirt was flying. Apparently "Special Forces" training has magically gotten a whole lot worse lately, as the guy could only land about 1 in 10, and Scooter couldn't figure out how to walk a machine gun into a target at all; something anyone who's played video games in the last 3 decades knows how to do.
The actual tactics were surprisingly accurate. Don't know if that was accidental or intentional, but the orcs used actual movements, tactics, and formations that were used historically when we had that equipment. The soldier used fairly realistic military strategy. The redneck acted like a redneck. I gave points for that, even though Im not sure it was deliberate. Its so incredibly rare to see people in films that have even the least clue of what they're supposed to be doing.
Overall, yes, it was low budget. Yes, the story was rather predictable. Guess what, that plot is rather standard fare for a good quarter of the fantasy/SF genre anyway. Your not gonna find a new angle after 7 decades of works. It burnt up a few hours, wasn't as bad as Sci-fi or BBC effects, wasn't as insultingly stupid as most USA and TBS TV movie plots, had a few cute faces, some chuckles, and one or two moments of decent bad-assery, if you actually knew what you were seeing.
I've seen a hella lot worse here with better ratings.
SAGA - Curse of the Shadow
(2013)
Surprisingly good
20 June 2014
So, netflix suggested this, and Im a sucker for fantasy.
First off, as the negative ones have noted, its low-budget. If you cant be bothered to see anything that doesn't come with a hundred million dollar plus price tag, this will disappoint. If you know how to enjoy films for the creativity, and forgive new companies for not being richer than most countries, you might like this.
Fight scenes: as a martial artist, trained in many medieval weapons, the fights actually are fairly historically accurate to various styles of real Earth. Of course, to people that have never seen a fight without Wire-Fu, CGI, and such, this will seem boring and "lame".
Scenery: Absolutely gorgeous. I was surprised to find out this was all in Utah. I really was expecting to see New Zealand and Australia from the look of some of the shots.
CGI: yeah, that needs work. But, they are new. they'll get better.
Actors: the main 3 were good to better. The rest were fair to good. About what you'd expect from a company just starting out. Each tried to add some quirks to make their character stand out. Make-up was very good; managed to catch the iconic essence of the races instead of looking like "LotR" rip-offs. Unless Lord of the Rings is all you know about fantasy.
Script: If you know fantasy, this is old hat. No surprises, no twists. Id guess a new company already had their hands full without trying to write an opus on top of just trying to get their foot in the door.
All in all, a good watch and highly recommendable.
First off, as the negative ones have noted, its low-budget. If you cant be bothered to see anything that doesn't come with a hundred million dollar plus price tag, this will disappoint. If you know how to enjoy films for the creativity, and forgive new companies for not being richer than most countries, you might like this.
Fight scenes: as a martial artist, trained in many medieval weapons, the fights actually are fairly historically accurate to various styles of real Earth. Of course, to people that have never seen a fight without Wire-Fu, CGI, and such, this will seem boring and "lame".
Scenery: Absolutely gorgeous. I was surprised to find out this was all in Utah. I really was expecting to see New Zealand and Australia from the look of some of the shots.
CGI: yeah, that needs work. But, they are new. they'll get better.
Actors: the main 3 were good to better. The rest were fair to good. About what you'd expect from a company just starting out. Each tried to add some quirks to make their character stand out. Make-up was very good; managed to catch the iconic essence of the races instead of looking like "LotR" rip-offs. Unless Lord of the Rings is all you know about fantasy.
Script: If you know fantasy, this is old hat. No surprises, no twists. Id guess a new company already had their hands full without trying to write an opus on top of just trying to get their foot in the door.
All in all, a good watch and highly recommendable.
Warehouse 13
(2009–2014)
I've seen worse.
1 May 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Characters: Eddie McClintock (Pete Lattimer) - He was supposed to be the Goofy loyal hero. Instead, he was the retarded, incompetent moron. And his "vibes" went from cop-style hunches and gut feelings to ridiculous psychic warning as the seasons continued. People like this don't become govt agents; If by some miracle they do get hired, they very quickly wind up fired or in prison . Saul Rubinek (Artie Nielsen) - was supposed to be the burned out former spy and gruff boss. Instead we get a hyper-paranoid sociopathic monster barely capable of human interaction on a normal level. Far from being a govt agent, this is the kind of guy you put a bullet or six through and then throw in a padded room for the safety of the rest of humanity. Joanne Kelly (Myka Bering) They wrote her to be the strong-willed, Intelligent, independent assertive female lead that Hollywood loves so much. And of course, that means normal people perceive her as a know-it-all b@tch. In govt agencies, these people don't get far; everyone hates a know-it-all, regardless of gender. Allison Scagliotti (Claudia Donovan) one of the few good things in this show Genelle Williams (Leena) - the other good thing in this show. Shame they killed her. Jaime Murray (H.G. Wells) The "Will Wheaton" of the show; the different writers couldn't make up their minds. Some loved her and made her the hero. Some hated her and made her a villain. And some were stupid and made her a Mary-sue. She's a great actress for being able to smoothly pull such a multiple personality off and make it all seem reasonable. Aaron Ashmore (Steve Jinks) The writers needed some Homo cred for the show. Not for plot, or any meaningful reason, but to get invited to "the right parties" in Hollywood, and keep GLAAD from trying to sue them or snivel "discrimination". (:roll:) In the 2nd season, they were hoping to ship some implied lezzy action between Wells and Myka. But the focus groups showed they'd lose too many female watchers if they did that. Same focus groups showed men were OK with bringing in a gay guy, as long as he only talked, and wasn't shown acting. CCH Pounder Mrs. Irene Frederic - This character wasn't on-screen often enough in 5 seasons to achieve even one-dimensional status. Plots: More like clichés. By the first commercial, the "agents" have figured out the artifact, and been infected by the second. By the third, they're confronting the holder of the artifsct with the "morality lesson". And the final is the neutralization. All this while the other half is having their own minor subplot thats usually completely idiotic. Sets: CGI is on par with early 90s-ish. The warehouse looks like a WWII hanger, and is filled with Lowe's metal rack shelves. Someone skimped extra cheap on this budget. Science: yeah....... Amish are more scientific that this show. Everything here is "magic artifact", and Steampunk. They make excuses for why their steampunk is supposedly better that modern tech. Its just that anyone with a basic understanding of modern electronics understands that those explanations are total bull. Ultimately this show suffers from what I call "reasonable man" failure. Too many times, the plot-train runs completely contrary to what any sane, intelligent reasonable man would do. Despite all that, its far from the worst schlock SciFy has ever put out, and tolerable if your looking for something to rot your brain with on a rainy day.
Invincible
(2001 TV Movie)
A pilot that never went any further
23 January 2014
this was a TV movie that was meant to be the 2 hour pilot to a series. The pilot did well in tests but failed on TV. Mostly because Lee very new to Western Society, and Mel Gibson is Mel Gibson; neither knew how to target European and American audiences yet. (But both would eventually learn) The story is a very Asian style of telling, but was released at a time when Western culture still split "Asian" as either Bruce Lee or Karate Kid with no middle ground between them, and a total ignorance of everything else about that entire quarter of the world.
If you have even a slim understanding of the Asian style of storytelling (AKA you know more than Naruto and wire-fu) you can find it to be a mediocre flick; the obvious cutting that would have been filled out in a series become glaring.
pity; Zane had the skill and really took to the character well enough to make it a fun role.
If you have even a slim understanding of the Asian style of storytelling (AKA you know more than Naruto and wire-fu) you can find it to be a mediocre flick; the obvious cutting that would have been filled out in a series become glaring.
pity; Zane had the skill and really took to the character well enough to make it a fun role.
The Newsroom
(2012–2014)
a moment of brilliance buried deep in partisanship
11 December 2013
HBO makes no effort to hide their political beliefs, something most the reviewers here don't mention because they happen to share the same views.
Pity, that, because the few seconds of brilliance in each episode come from when Daniel's character has an epiphany about how idiotic both sides have become, and how big the lies from both have gotten.
But you have to sit through 60 minutes of HBO insulting republicans, conservatives, and everything else they hate, and presenting all the hype, lies, opinions and pure bulls#!t of their side as "fact", for that brief few seconds of truth.
Up to you if its worth it or not.
Pity, that, because the few seconds of brilliance in each episode come from when Daniel's character has an epiphany about how idiotic both sides have become, and how big the lies from both have gotten.
But you have to sit through 60 minutes of HBO insulting republicans, conservatives, and everything else they hate, and presenting all the hype, lies, opinions and pure bulls#!t of their side as "fact", for that brief few seconds of truth.
Up to you if its worth it or not.
The Heat
(I) (2013)
I made an account just to review this garbage
14 July 2013
I got 10 minutes in and was glad I pirated it. I still got ripped off. I can suspend belief for Bullock's character; implausible, but possible. But the fat sow that commits 4 felonies, just in the first two minutes we're being introduced to her, and supposedly she's a cop? The idea that she isn't already kicked off the force just for her vulgarity, in prison for her crimes, or dead, because she doesn't show any redeeming qualities worth keeping her alive stretches credibility too far.
IDK... maybe there's some hot lesbian scene with bullock and another hottie somewhere in it that I missed. I cant think of anything else that would make this schlock worth seeing.
IDK... maybe there's some hot lesbian scene with bullock and another hottie somewhere in it that I missed. I cant think of anything else that would make this schlock worth seeing.
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