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zach0308
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Makai toshi: Shinjuku (1988)
Lol what??
What even was this? What a just all around bad anime / movie. Nearly incomprehensible, boring, bad animation, etc. Scenes are sometimes completely disjointed and dont seem to really make sense. How does this have a 6.4 rating??
The Tall Man (2012)
Bait and Switch Movie
How the hell is this a "horror movie"??
This is such a blatant bait and switch it left me actually mad.
This movies, for all intents and purposes, presents itself as a horror movie about missing children in a dying town that is loosely based on the Slender Man stories.
It is not related to that in literally any shape or fashion. Advertising a movie this falsely should be criminal.
This movie is about some secret organization that steals children from "bad homes" to give them to good families. Ignoring how messed up that is in general, the story revolves around a single town, where they've stolen literally every child. This movie is incredibly misleading, incredibly stupid, and everyone involved with it should feel bad.
The Babadook (2014)
Don't Believe the Hype
This movie is just...wow. This may be up there on the most overhyped movies in recent history.
This is would be an average to below average movie on Netflix, yet people are tripping over themselves to call it the most important horror movie this century, one of the all time greats, 9/10 out of 10, etc.
It is none of those things. It is not scary. It is not even a good movie. The characters are annoying. The "monster" is stupid. Even if the monster is supposed to be representative of grief and loss, etc, it's still real dumb.
The ending? Strap yourself if for that because I almost fell out of my recliner from the sheer force of the stupid.
Wrong Turn (2021)
Yikes
What an absolute train wreck of a movie. That ending credits scene slightly redeemed some of how bad everything else was
The Vampire Diaries (2009)
You people are insane
This is maybe the worst show in all of TV history. Like literally ever. What is wrong with you people??
The New Mutants (2020)
I'm almost at a loss for words
My title kinda already says it...there isn't much to say here. This is a really really bad movie. Terrible acting, worse accents, characters you don't care about at all and a really ridiculous, plot hole filled story. They should have just never released this.
Operation Finale (2018)
Something was just off
This was...for whatever reason...just not a good movie. I wish I could articulate why. It just felt off and a little disjointed.
Yoga Hosers (2016)
Yikes
Yikes is all I can really think of to describe this. I love Kevin Smith, and I'm actually a fan of a lot of the people involved in this. But this was just really, really bad. There is no excuse for this to exist.
The VVitch: A New-England Folktale (2015)
IMDB has completely devolved into fake reviews
Well shot and fairly well acted. Not scary and should not be a critically acclaimed movie getting perfect 10s on here.
Bird Box (2018)
What movie are you people watching?
If you have seen The Happening, you have LITERALLY seen the exact same movie. Irrational, annoying and irrelevant characters you never care about. The fact that people are giving this a 10 put of 10 makes me realize that we truly are living in the dumbest timeline. 2018 cant end soon enough.
The Lost City of Z (2016)
What did I just watch? No, seriously. Can someone tell me?
My "spoilers" aren't actually spoilers. But they may clue you in to scenes in the movie and the overall direction the film takes. That is all.
Now, where shall we begin?
What did I just watch? A horror movie? An action flick? A biopic? An auto-biopic? A documentary? A mockumentary? A Disney nature film from the 1960s? An acid trip? A war movie?
This movie has literally no idea what it wants to be or how to get there. The amount of plot holes and unanswered questions is astounding.
Who was that person? They are gone now and we never learned anything about them. Where did they go? Wait, where did that horse come from? Whoa whoa, we only spent 15 minutes in the jungle and you're telling me that was supposed to be 3 years? How did they survive? Why are they traveling down the river when they are supposed to be going up the river to find the source? Why do all the "Indians" in the film, in remote unexplored areas, speak Spanish? WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING?
-Fin
Kong: Skull Island (2017)
What did I just watch???
Hey. You wanna see this movie? I can write it out for you and you will literally get the same experience as watching it. Ready?
Kong: Skull Island
*Opening credits*
*Introduce characters and story as fast as possible, with no back story, making sure you don't care about them at all*
*Bad dialogue*
*Unbelievably cliché Vietnam era music plays*
*Bad dialogue*
*Unbelievably cliché Vietnam era music plays*
*Some shot that adds literally nothing to the movie*
*Bad dialogue*
*Random slow motion shot for no reason*
*cliché music*
"Who are these people?? What? Why? Hold on wait...what? Helicopters can fly through hurricanes? Why isn't any rain getting inside? The doors are open...whoa. There's king kong. He totally just took down a helicopter. We should probably fly higher..since hes only like 100 feet tall...and we are in helicopters? No? Well OK I guess..."
*pew pew pew...booooom. pew pew*
*ROAR SMASH*
*slow motion as cliché music plays*
*lots of bad dialogue and stuff that doesn't make any sense*
*comic relief*
*bad dialogue in slow motion*
*pew pew pew boom boom people die pew pew in slow motion as crappy music plays*
*plot and story that makes no sense*
*pew pew boom roar smash ending fight*
*credits*
FIN
An absolute masterpiece. 10/10. Would rather scratch my eye balls out with rusty nails.
The Girl with All the Gifts (2016)
Complete Rip Off
I know many of you reading this probably won't care, because of the praise this movie is getting, but this is one of the most blatant rip offs I have seen in recent memory.
Let me recap: The story involves a post apocalyptic setting where a strain of Cordyceps fungus has mutated. Infecting most of the population, turning them into violent mutated zombie like humans who attack and eat anyone and anything. The fungus is transmitted through bites, but the longer humans are infected they can begin to spread the disease by becoming immobile and beginning sprouting pods that shoot spores into the air, spreading the fungi even more. But years after the infection begins we find a girl. A special girl who is immune to the effects of the fungus. A group searching for a cure learns of the girl and wants to bring her to a center/base to use her to create the cure. She has a protector that starts off looking after her as just a job, but begins to care for her. But then her protector learns that creating the cure with the help of this special girl involves killing her. Now they have to decide if they can live with sacrificing her to save the world. And now you have the full plot of The Last of Us. A critically acclaimed and award winning video game that came out in the summer of 2013. A full YEAR before the book was even published.
Could this be a coincidence? Sure. Maybe. But come on...
This gets a 1 star for being a complete rip off and doing it worse than the video game. If it wasn't a rip off it would be an OK movie at best.