onexmillion Reviews

Emancipation (2022)

Tremendous cinematography, but...

[7/10 · 12 December 2022]

What's with the strange colour palette of this movie? The, almost black and white with the odd hues of colour thrown in.

One of the most wonderful gifts that most of us are lucky enough to have is to see this wonderful world in all it's beautiful colours. So why purposefully detract a feature that can only enhance it?

I felt that this decision was a little off putting. In some scenes it was a little difficult to distinguish certain things and because of the lack of colour, I felt the film lacked visual depth in certain places.

That's a shame because the camera work was stunning. This arty farty stuff simply took away from the movie.

That aside, I felt the movie was really quite stunning in every area. Would have scored it a 9, but 2 points off for the ridiculous colourisation reduction.

I Love My Dad (2022)

Fancy Something Different?

[8/10 · 30 August 2022]

Yes, it's super cringe, it has moments of hilarity and moments of sad, but it's all from a good place.

Great acting throughout and pacing of the film was spot on. Also enjoyed the soundtrack, particularly the acoustic piece for the end credits by Sonoda.

Definitely give this a watch if you fancy something different. Perhaps not suited to those easily offended.

Didn't really want to say anything other than that, but it's saying: Sorry, your review is too short. It needs to contain at least 600 characters.

Yep, it's still saying: Sorry, your review is too short. It needs to contain at least 600 characters.

Prey (I) (2022)

It's all getting a bit silly now

[6/10 · 13 August 2022]

So you have the Predator, a highly evolved alien that has dedicated its life to hunting and killing. It can take out an entire battalion of French soldiers with ease. Strong enough to lift a bear and throw a man 20 feet. On top of those, skills and strength, it has super-advanced weapons.

Then along comes a little girl with an axe and wooden spikes and kills it. And kills it with considerable ease.

Disney has kinda killed off the Predator permanently. How ever am I supposed to look at the Predator again and take him seriously.

I'm all for strong female leads, equal rights etc, but this is just getting a little silly now.

Carter (2022)

It's a showcase

[7/10 · 6 August 2022]

Of special effects. It's an action film and it delivers. If you're looking for an action film that delivers on amazing special effects, then this is it.

It is what it is and you can't say anything else about it, really.

Sniper. The White Raven (2022)

A rather excellently made film

[9/10 · 2 August 2022]

This is the perfect example of excellent film making on a low budget.

Rather appropriate story displaying the bravery and courage of the Ukrainian fighters - that of which the Russians will never match.

Top notch camerawork, excellent acting and the pacing of the film keeps you engaged.

Yet another victory for Ukraine.

Resident Evil (2022)

This is a teen drama...

[2/10 · 22 July 2022]

...with a couple of monsters thrown in, just so that it can be called Resident Evil. Started off ok, thought it would find its stride, but got more boring as it went on.

If you like teen dramas with family issues, you're in for a treat. If you're expecting Resident Evil, watch the films.

Eternals (2021)

Boring

[3/10 · 9 February 2022]

It's a two and a half hour bore-fest.

So slow it manages to stop time.

All the characters are boring.

Even the action, what there was of it is boring, standard stuff.

I have no idea how they managed to make a superhero film boring. The entire point of a superhero film is to be thrilling and exciting.

That alone must take talent and is worthy of 10/10.

No Time to Die (2021)

Less action thriller, more soap opera

[5/10 · 19 November 2021]

I prefer the 007 of yesteryear. The suave and sophisticated Bond, with his one liners and a glint in his eye.

Now we have an emotional Bond that's more like a 2.4 hour episode of your favourite soap opera.

I get that times have moved on, but Bond was almost superhero status, now he's just a normal guy.

Other than a couple of cool stunts that were shown in the commercial anyway, the film was a little dull. The villain was the dullest I think I've ever seen - not that they were on screen much anyway. Humour pretty much non-existent. First 30 mins before the dull opening sequence was the best. Then it was dull from then on.

If you're looking for a good drama, you'll love this. For an action thriller, probably best to look at Mission Impossible series.

Hopefully the new Bond will reinvigorate the series.

Villain (I) (2020)

Much Better than the Low Scores

[8/10 · 9 November 2021]

I've only really discovered Craig's movies within the last year or so and have enjoyed watching them. His acting consistently improves with every movie he does and I think this is one of his best.

Sure the movie isn't original, but everything from the acting, the music, camerawork is top notch. Pacing is also good with just enough background on the characters, blended with action. Doesn't get boring.

This movie isn't trying to be original. It is what it is, but it's done very well indeed.

Dune (2021)

Pretentious Dullness

[5/10 · 9 November 2021]

On the one hand, with its visual effects and dramatic dialogue, Dune is spectacular. On the other, with the somewhat monotone acting, relentless cutscenes and confusing story, then it's nothing but arty farty dullness and a pretentiously boring snoozfest.

If you're familiar with the story and you like that thing and/or if you like arty farty stuff like this, then you'll probably enjoy it.

If not, you may well find it relentlessly dull.

Rise of the Footsoldier: The Heist (2019)

Much more of a comedy

[8/10 · 11 October 2021]

Much more of a comedy than the previous instalments. Loved it.

Malignant (I) (2021)

Stop Saying the Good Reviews Are Paid

[8/10 · 11 September 2021]

This is definitely a movie that will split opinions. The problem is, a lot of people are expecting another Conjuring type movie here, and you're not going to get that.

What you're going to get is a a slightly cheesy 80's style slasher movie, but brought up to date. You either get it, or you don't.

It's not a scary film, but there is an intended style to it, almost humorous and as many said, not what you'd expect from James Wan.

Personally, I think it makes a refreshing change and if you go along with it, it works very well.

Pig (I) (2021)

Thought Provoking

[8/10 · 22 July 2021]

Quite a clever, thought provoking and emotional film. Obviously those who rated it low didn't get it. It's not a complex film, but you do need to put a bit of effort into it and relate to it in an emotional context. Exceptionally well crafted movie in all areas, but don't go in expecting to see a typical Cage movie.

Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard (2021)

Well, I loved it!

[8/10 · 20 July 2021]

I can understand why some might not like this. It is non-stop and hardly gives you time to breath.

But I thought it was hilarious. Much funnier than the first movie.

Loki (2021–2023)

Who's this Loki?

[6/10 · 19 July 2021]

Was expecting the Loki we all know, the chancer and joker. There was a little humour here and there, but overall, I felt it was a little too serious.

Black Widow (2021)

It's Alright

[4/10 · 10 July 2021]

Action scenes are reasonably good, but nothing memorable.

Fight scenes are a little dull. Characters not fully utilised.

There's quite a long dialogue section in the film which I felt could have been condensed down. Didn't need to be that long and got a little boring.

I'd say it's a reasonable good film and 6/10 is a fair score.

But then they gender swapped Taskmaster. Don't get me wrong, women should be empowered and absolutely be equal to men.

But for the love of God, stop swapping genders in bloody films. It's boring and tedious. For that, it's an immediate loss of 2 points.

Long Story Short (2021)

It's a story that's been told many times

[8/10 · 12 June 2021]

But it is witty and funny. Fantastic acting that will keep you engaged and generally, it's just a bloody good film, so watch it :)

Things Heard & Seen (2021)

The Ending?

[3/10 · 30 April 2021]

I'll just keep this short and sweet. Turn it off a few minutes before the ending and make your own version up. Your version will without question be better then this.

Nobody (I) (2021)

Over the Top

[9/10 · 16 April 2021]

Loads of action, none of the faff, elements of humor and very violent. Great acting, simple and quite a predictable story. It is a well made film, with a lot of thought gone into each and every scene.

So yes, it is a simple story, a bit predictable, far too violent. But you know what I love about it, it totally owns it and doesn't pretend to be anything else.

It does what it does to absolute perfection and really, that's the highest accolade achievable.

The Mandalorian (2019– )

I like the Star Wars films

[10/10 · 20 March 2021]

There were the original films which were great, then those middle ones that were a snooze fest and then Disney took over and those were very enjoyable. So not a fan as such, but enjoy watching them.

But then there's The Mandalorian. Masterful in every way. Utterly amazing. I'm now a Star Wars fan.

Monster Hunter (2020)

Don't engage the brain

[7/10 · 18 February 2021]

Look, it's a daft action film. You're supposed to switch off the brain before hitting the play button. If you do that, it's pretty good. Take it for what it is, great effects, silly story. Doesn't always have to be a deep, meaningful story does it?

Dead Reckoning (2020)

Well, it's a Scott Adkins Film

[5/10 · 27 January 2021]

Scott Adkins films are generally a bit corny and daft and this is no different. I think he's successfully carved out his own niche in the movie business. I'll rate it as a Scott Adkins film. Still, not the best (of his).

Locked Down (I) (2021)

Tried to like it...

[4/10 · 23 January 2021]

... but just got bored. The content was great being a lockdown film, but it was a little dull. Wasn't Chiwetel Ejiofor filmed driving while using a phone? That was was probably the best, most entertaining bit.

Had the potential to be really funny, but started flat and stayed there.

Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood (2019)

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwnn

[3/10 · 15 January 2021]

If you love historical movie stuff about Hollywood then you'll love it. If not, you'll probably find it pretentious and incredibly boring, just like I did.

Relic (2020)

An Acquired Taste

[8/10 · 22 December 2020]

This isn't your typical 'horror' in that there's no blood and guts and very little in the way of jump scares.

It's moody and as creepy as hell and builds tension as it goes. For me, I like these types of horrors. I think sometimes, little is more. This is where Relic excels. It's about atmosphere, dark, sinister and builds relentlessly until the excellent ending.

The dark and ever shrinking corridors of one's mind is terrifying and tragic in equal measures.

This movie is ultimately about acceptance. To peel away the layers of the person you once knew and to accept that that person has changed and will never return.

Utterly stunning piece of work.