kuampapwder Reviews

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

sweaty stickerbrush adventure

[4/10 · 25 June 2022]

The harsh filming regiment and hot oppresive weather conditions translate well into the end product. Especially the first section where the characters are driving in their van. Unsettling odors from the local slaughterhouse occasionally wafting into the sweaty van, all mingling with the stagnant, heavy Texan summer air.

The film has that special energy that arises from a pioneering crew who all feel they are along on a special ride, willing to go great lengths and sacrifice for the end product.

The film would have benefitted greatly from just one good actor to tie it all together, as with Neville Brand in Death Trap, in which I think Tobe Hooper really nailed the atmosphere that was apparent, but underdeveloped in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which ultimately went for shock value, and kind of hits bottom when it, towards the end, begins relying solely on characters' incessant screaming as its main source of tension building. Something which ruins many otherwise decent horror films.

There's Something in the Shadows (2021)

I found the biscuits!

[6 September 2021]

The scene where the guy who shouts "I've found the biscuits" is brushing his teeth for what feels like forever is, intentionally or not, a great comedic moment.

Submarino (2010)

Unrealistically grim realism from the land of milk & honey

[10/10 · 22 October 2020]

Good flim. just one question. Was it lazy writing or do folks actually say 'OK' that much in Denmark?

-peas y'all-

The Blackwell Ghost 2 (2018)

The Blackwell Ghost 2 aka The Chronicles of Useless Bloke

[10/10 · 23 April 2020]

The drawing he receives in the mail, which most would immediately recognize as a blueprint rendition of a building, baffles him as he explains in all seriousness how he originally thought it was an image of "somekind of a vacuum cleaner." He then proudly announces his grand discovery: an obvious X in one corner of the picture which Useless Bloke took "forever to see."

After an uneventful drive to the mysterious house, Useless Bloke brings forth a metal detector (to search for something that may well not be metal) and makes a song & dance of not being able to use it properly. When he finally finds the spot he proceeds to bludgeon the ground with a huge pickaxe, oblivious to the fact that the buried item may be fragile.

Thinks there might be a time machine inside the shoebox sized box that he digs up.

Has the foresight to mention how light may damage any unprocessed film, which may be inside the box. But leaves the light on while opening the box.

Preparations for ghost hunting consist of setting up a record player and putting a ball on a table. The self proclaimed "not genius who CAN count" then proceeds to chill out and hardly notices the audible banging.

Fret not for excitement is just round the corner: at 2:37 in the morning some chairs fall over. So riveting it prompts Useless Bloke to replay the recording as we once again watch the chairs uneventfully fall over. But the thrills are far from over as Useless Bloke discovers that the falling chairs can be heard on a recording device in an adjacent room. Cue several sound clips of - you guessed it- some chairs falling over.

Useless Bloke has riveting dreams of doors opening and shutting.

Ghostly activity in the kitchen passes Useless Bloke by while he just chills out on his laptop in the living room.

Furthermore, Useless Bloke looks like a (possibly) non gay version of Brian the Mailman.

Holiday (I) (2018)

Soul? What do you mean?

[6/10 · 30 March 2019]

"Sunny but frigid" describes the feel that runs throughout this bleak character study of a young girl mixed up with unsavoury types. Overall I found it engrossing with plenty of subtle and creeping tension, quite disturbing at times but also a little redundant and oversimplified in its storytelling. Most of the characters are one dimensional almost to the point of being caricatures of gangsta tropes (the alpha male, the henchman and the women and children in the periphery). I sometimes found it hard to tell whether the shallow dialogue was down to lazy writing or whether it was intentionally lacking in depth, which I suppose did add to the cripplingly superficial tone of the film. Are they gangsters? Or just wealthy businessmen? Is there a difference? All very deep stuff. The bad side of patriarchy in general amongst wealthy Europeans, the ones that keep their family around like tokens of their power, holidaying lavishly in large groups and disturbing their surroundings.

The Limits of Control (2009)

A handful of art

[10/10 · 17 November 2018]

I feel like I'm really there, in Spain. Sunny whitewashed ramblas, narrow stone alleys cooled by the shade. Viewed remotely through a remote observer. An inverted action film, I'm behind the scenes, inside them, my TV screen is an art gallery, a taverna, a desolate mountain village. The train is like a sci fi movie, shiny surfaces and outside the window even shinier, too bright ro be real scenery of rolling hills and slowly rotating windmill blades. A perfect excuse to wander and meet some sages of the times. You speak the language of the universe, right? Amazing how unmoving those desert plants are. Silence is a great atmosphere in which to absorb things. So much colour and precision, a living painting gradually expanding upon itself with no center or edges, as you calmly, professionally and blessed with a quiet knowing, patiently wait to act upon the next arbitrary act of the universe.