dskauai_bunch Reviews

Stealth (2005)

It's a sci-fi action movie, it doesn't need to be deep. I like it!

[27 May 2012]

I have no idea why this movie bombed. Yes, there are some rather glaring things that you need to overlook - but if you also consider that it IS a futuristic sci-fi, you can probably take the time to suspend reality to shrug, grin, and tell yourself, "Eh, okay. That's actually kind of cool." Is there anyone in this movie who can act? Nope. But they're quite sufficient for the fun.

I have heard people whine that the things the aircraft do are absurd and impossible. Well.. it's a futuristic ultra-stealth battle aircraft! Maybe it can do that.

Anyway, to stop being negative, this is just a fun film. Take it for what it is; a romp through jets, explosions, action banter and entertaining technology that may or may not ever exist.

Honestly, having grown up where I did, with what I was around, and my career has taken me... the movie "Top Gun" isn't any better or worse. Just sit back, enjoy it, and watch Jessica Biehl struggle once more to graduate from high school thesbianism.

Enjoy! (really)

Immortals (2011)

Most disappointing movie I've seen in years.

[29 April 2012]

So, here's the summary given on IMDb: "Theseus is a mortal man chosen by Zeus to lead the fight against the ruthless King Hyperion, who is on a rampage across Greece to obtain a weapon that can destroy humanity." You know what? This is pretty much what happens. Theseus wanders around for 2 hours as a mortal doing not much of anything. If there is any "rampage" going on, they never show it! Mostly, Hyperion just sits around and gives orders while stuffing his face with greasy food.

For all practical purposes, all of the action in this "action" movie took place in the last 20 minutes. The rest of it was plodding along with a storyline that WAS SET by the Oracle! You knew exactly what was going to happen.

As for the super-power weapon, a magical bow - it was fired a total of... 6 times. Yeah. SIX TIMES. Four of them went to kill one man apiece. Not even important men, just grunt soldiers.

Then, as the final insult, this whole thing revolved around setting the Titans loose (by Hyperion to get revenge). The Titans DO get set loosed by Hyperion... and there's a fight between Gods and Titans. But in the end, to kill these horrific beasts, Zeus just pulls the mountain down on them and all the good guys escape.

Yeah. That simple. Why didn't they do this eons ago? Sounds like a good idea, doesn't it? Even at that, really. Action? No. Story? No. Special effects? No. I really can't think of anything good about this movie, but I gave it a Rank of 2 because at least I didn't feel like throwing anything at the screen when it came to the end.

Oh, and did I mention that the hero, Theseus, dies pointlessly? Yeah.

Enjoy.

50 First Dates (2004)

Best romantic comedy ever! (I mean it)

[14 April 2012]

What can I say? This is the best romantic comedy that I've ever seen. A sweet story, and great casting with fantastic attention to the small details that truly make a movie.

Doesn't matter if you're in a relationship or not, you'll love it.

I know it sounds crazy, because Adam Sandler is never in anything good - this movie is the one fantastic exception.

By the way, "Hukilau" (as in "Hukilau Cafe") actually has a meaning - depending on context, it is either a method of mass net-fishing from the shore practiced by Hawaiians for centuries, or a celebratory gathering on the beach.

Signs (2002)

Logic is so completely absent it's ridiculous. This is the "twist:"

[13 March 2012]

So it turns out the yes, aliens are invading Planet Earth.

They land, you essentially never see them or hear about them doing anything except for a shot of one passing in front of bushes at a kid's birthday party.

Then they go home, after annoying people for no apparent reason.

Oh, and they're just people in dark green green suits.

Why did they come? Nobody knows, and really in the end, nobody cares. Because these have to be the dumbest aliens in the galaxy.

Why did they leave so abruptly? Because water is poisonous to them. Yeah. They crossed interstellar distances to invade a planet whose surface alone is 70%+ covered in a substance that is toxic to them. So what about the oceans and lakes? Or taking slaves that are mostly water, or food that is based on water...

... what's next, the Human Race invades Venus and is shocked to find out that the clouds and raining sulfuric acid aren't conducive to colonization? Because that would be the equivalent.

This is a terrible movie with a twist fit only for people who watch movies without asking questions of the obvious. I don't know why people keep buying the guy's scripts.

"War of the Worlds" was brilliant for its time. Germs had just been discovered. It made sense for the time period. But aliens who can cross the stars to invade a world toxic to them? Did they never develop the science of simple spectroscopy? Don't see this movie. Take a sharp blow to the head first. Ask someone else about the medical reality of a woman being cut in half but able to survive until her husband has to make the hard choice of pulling the F-150 off of her.

Knowing (2009)

Clever and well done.

[3 January 2012]

This movie was a nice surprise. I usually don't like Nicholas Cage movies. Any of them. But he was perfectly cast for this science fiction piece and delivered a solid, believable performance.

The story itself was brand new, not a rehash of any tale that I can recall.

The directing allowed you to see the film without knowing until the very end what was happening - which was great. I usually enjoy figuring out the end before it gets there, because it usually seems that if I CAN'T figure it out... the movie is poor. That has been my experience. But Knowing delivered a solid mystery up to the end, with the type of finale where one thinks, "Oh, I should have seen it coming, those 100 things that happened all make sense!" Really, all the little details came together in a flash of a solid closing.

I also appreciated that there were no loose ends. Everything was tied together in a neat bow with nothing hanging out.

The only negative that I have will sound humorous to you if you don't see the movie, but I won't spoil it for you except to say that the metaphor of a pair of bunnies wasn't necessary.

Catch this movie when you can, it's definitely worth it.

Taken (I) (2008)

Best action movie I have ever seen!

[3 January 2012]

I know, a claim of a perfect 10 movie probably sounds implausible. But Taken really is the best action movie that I've seen in my life, from about 1980 on, when I was old enough to notice things like that.

I could go on, but it's simple enough to say that the story, directing, casting and performances all come together to make a work of cinematic art that you can't ignore. Liam Neeson and Maggie Grace make for what sound like an unlikely pairing, but in the end jive into a perfect father-daughter set.

The story is great. At first one might roll there eyes at "another dad goes for his daughter rescue movie." Taken is anything but that. It's not a simple, "Oh gee, person (X) is holding my daughter hostage." No, it's a complex tale of despair and danger in what is unfortunately a real-life threat. The hostage isn't sitting in a room, she's on the move between sets of devious people supported by money, graft and corruption. It's brilliant. It's HONEST.

Since this is the spoiler version, I like that the writer made the characters (primarily Neeson, as the main character) react realistically to the situation. He's an ex-CIA agent, trained to kill and with decades of experience. When it comes to fighting with someone, or tracking someone, or getting information... he doesn't do anything cute, he just does it. There are no long kung fu fight scenes, or breaking elbows backwards. No knife throwing and fighting. He just kills them, boom, hand to hand, or puts a bullet in their chest. Maybe this sounds silly, but it's nice to see a super agent actually BE a super agent.

The final scene? The true ultimate spoiler? Ever seen a Mexican standoff where the good guy ends up dropping his weapon and then the scene develops into some stupid game of cat-and-mouse to win? Well, a Mexican standoff does happen. Or rather, the bad guy tries it. Puts a knife to Neeson's daughter's neck and hides behind her. Neeson hesitates in the standoff, his pistol raised... and then a few seconds later, after he's had time to perfectly line up his shot, puts a bullet in the guy's head, firing past his daughter. Just what you want to see from a super spy marksman.

Honestly, when that happened I cheered and almost jumped off the couch shouting, "FINALLY!!!" It was good to see the "reality" of a rescue/espionage film.

Go out and see this movie. In fact, don't even rent it. Go out and find it at the store and buy the DVD. You WILL watch it over and over.

Jumper (2008)

Shallow but fun.

[3 January 2012]

First, I need to say that the movie's story, premise and effects are great. Lots of fun and very entertaining. However, while Rachel Bilson and Jamie Bell provided good performances, the casting of Hayden Christensen and Samuel L. Jackson was horrific. Jackson's character was entirely one-dimensional and Christensen continues to be completely unable to pull off "angry" or much of anything else. Truly laughable.

With better casting, I would have given this movie an 8.

The special effects of "jumping" (teleporting) are top notch, and dare I say that the sound editing is distinctively prominent and well done. Seeing major scenes filmed on locations that were previously inaccessible, impossible or practically improbable is a delight. Seeing long scenes filmed across dozens of real-life locations and put into single action sequences is truly spectacular.

You are though left wondering a single question at the end of the film: "Why does this story happen?" But the flick is entertaining enough in other respects that if you can simply ignore that, you'll be sure to enjoy it.

So my ultimate recommendation is that despite the casting and poor performances provided by half the actors, this is a great film for gathering some friends, passing around some soda and goodies then just enjoying the sights. Not every good movie has to be a deeply intellectual one.

The Book of Eli (2010)

This is a terrible movie.

[30 December 2011]

The catch idea of the movie is interesting. However, it takes Denzel almost 2 hours to get it across. Then you realize that this entire movie should have taken about 30 minutes.

It plods. Both literally and figuratively.

I'm left with a book's worth of questions that have absolutely no answer to be found.

This is the kind of movie that you want to yell at and groan when the credits show up at the end. Go watch something else, there are plenty of other post-Apocalyptic dramas and so on to choose from. At the very least, have a movie that you already know is good waiting in the wings, so that when you're done with this piece of trash, you can put it in and feel better about wasting your time.

I only gave it two stars rather than one because its premise (the one that could have been summed up in five minutes) is different.

Unknown (I) (2011)

Excellent action thriller from start to finish.

[29 December 2011]

This is a short and sweet review. Unknown is a great movie.

I did basically "solve" the mystery of the movie halfway through, but keeping with it to see if I was right was part of the fun. Great performances and though I never say this - great locations. I don't know why, they just fit the story perfectly.

It was a movie with a taste of Bourne Identity to it, but better.

In the end, it left me with only one question, one that I can only wave off as, "Well, there wouldn't have been a movie if that hadn't happened."

Rent, buy or otherwise see this movie, you'll love it.

War of the Worlds (2005)

Painful. Just painful.

[25 December 2011]

The original H.G. Wells story? A literary masterpiece.

The Orson Wells radio broadcast? Fantastic.

The 1953 Hollywood movie? A lot of fun.

This chunk of cinema? 116 minutes of my life that I'll never get back.

I can summarize the movie this briefly, and without being a spoiler: * Tom Cruise spends two hours running around, out of breath, yelling at people while the ridiculous side stories about his children muddle the original plot.

That's it.

For those detail folk reading this, enjoy the incredible foresight of the Martians and their war machines.

Just... go and pick another movie to watch. Pick up the 1953 movie and watch it.

The Last Castle (2001)

Great movie, if a little far-fetched.

[24 December 2011]

The story is in my opinion very unique. It might have some parallels to the occasional "prison gone bad" movie, but sometimes details can't be helped. In this case, I think that The Last Castle stood completely on its own.

The acting was spectacular among the big names, and the secondary cast did a very good job of representing not only the general feeling of the movie, but with specific and importantly individual personalities.

The grand finale of the movie to which it spends excellent time building is admittedly far-fetched. For instance, I find it rather unlikely that a bunch of military felons could have constructed a working trebuchet in complete secrecy, and even more unlikely to take control of a flying crowd-control helicopter. Still, even with these details the story did go a long way to explaining at least the basics of how it was conceived, planned, prepared and executed.

Even at this, the movie is absolutely worth it, and enjoyable even if you might have to raise an eyebrow at the occasional detail. If you keep a DVD or BluRay collection, this is a must-have.

Soldier (I) (1998)

Great story & fantastic performance by Kurt Russel!

[24 December 2011]

This is a great action sci-fi. I can't believe that it tanked in the theaters.

The story and writing is absolutely top-notch; an original theme with interesting plot direction that I'd expect from a good flick.

Kurt Russel delivers what I firmly and without sarcasm believe is the finest acting performance that I have *ever* seen in *any* movie of *any* genre. 79 words in 99 minutes, yet through only extremely subtle body language and facial expression, you know exactly what it is that he's thinking, and wishes that he - as a trained Soldier - could say.

If you only want an action movie for bloody gore, this isn't for you either. Certainly a lot of action and violence, but not the over-the-top, blood-and-guts style that has become so prominent these days.

If it has a downside, it comes in special effects. I don't know if they used some strange miniatures or just overdone backdrops, but a few of the shots are admittedly rather poor - however, they are also very quick and essentially unimportant to the rest of the film.

Brains and determination over brawn and blind ambition, a great movie for anyone. Foul language is very limited, but it is there, so if you have smaller ones that you'd like to keep away from that, I'm afraid there's that to contend with. Few and far between, but they do belt out a couple.

Timothy Dalton and Gary Busey were also great casting for their roles. This was filmed before Mr. Busey whacked his head on the pavement and became the Crazy Mr. Busey that we know today.

8/10 rating? Yes, would have been a 9 if those minor special effects scenes had been better. It deserves the high rating, for any film of any genre, and Mr. Russel should have at the very least been nominated for a Best Actor award. I don't mean that tongue-in-cheek at all, I'm quite serious. Check this one out!

Crack in the World (1965)

Great piece of science fiction nostalgia.

[24 December 2011]

In my opinion, this is one of the best classic science fiction movies ever made, right up with The War of the Worlds (1953), The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951) and Forbidden Planet (1956).

To us in 2011, its special effects might be laughable, and yes we know that you wouldn't fire a missile down a hole to punch into magma with a nuclear warhead. But it is a delightfully unique story of ingenuity that contains a major element that *has* come to pass, albeit not as the writers foresaw - the development of geothermal energy. It also showcases a time 55 years ago when no one had any idea what the inside of the Earth was like! The movie was based on best-guess geology, and what they developed made it fun. Further, it notes the potential dangers of messing with Mother Earth unless you're absolutely sure of what you're doing.

Many pieces of technology and social graces speak well to illustrate a period in history that many of us were either too young to remember, or not even born yet.

As I said, this is not Industrial Light and Magic, but the special effects are great for the period. I have and always will be a fan of using detailed miniatures.

I gave this movie a very high rating because it's just a good flick to sit down and watch. The story is fun and interesting, but not heavy. The science is wrong but at least they tried, and you have to smile at that. Astonishingly, the casting and acting is decent as well.

Be sure to find some time for this movie, and don't be afraid, this is *not* a 1956 version of "The Core." They are entirely different movies of both type and quality.

Pandemic (2007)

Framework only.

[23 December 2011]

This might have been an interesting movie. The storyline of a pandemic spreading like wildfire may be a cliché, but when done well, could have been decent. Unfortunately, I saw this movie and simply had to laugh at things that were not taken care of anywhere near a "real world" scenario. For instance, if you were trying to keep 6 million people in one place, you'd use more than a single wooden 2x4 painted barricade across the road.

An interesting premise, but that's all it is - a premise that went into production as a "movie" without any further thought.

The B-list-at-best cast certainly doesn't help.

I grade it as 3/10 for being bad enough to be laughable, but not make me throw things at the screen.