Cujo_Firebird Reviews

Marvel Studios: Legends (2021– )

Basically 7 minute trailers

[1/10 · 10 January 2021]

The first two "episodes" are Wanda and Vision. Basically 7 minute trailers for upcoming Wanda & Vision TV series.

I anticipate the next two will probably be Falcon and The Winter Soldier.

These are basically a compilation of clips from the movies, nothing new and not like the "Marvel 1 Shot" series inbetween the movie releases.

Waste of time. I've seen better fan made clips on Youtube.

Roswell, New Mexico (2019–2022)

Sad, sad reboot.

[1/10 · 21 December 2020]

Modern reboot of the 1999 cult show, set 10 years after their graduation. Insertion of modern day race identity and gender identity politics was expected and annoying. Watched the first ep so far.

Very clearly newish actors whom have not matured in their craft. New Liz has a body. That's it. She went to the Kristian Stewart school of acting. She apparently got her break winning a dance show. New Max still acts as a love sick schoolboy despite the assumption that he's been a small time cop on a border town for 10 years. I would have much preferred a jaded, hardened cop that we warm upto. New Isabel is nowhere near as attractive as Heigl and is married, and has a "beauty spot" so prominent on her face, that's all you can see through her wooden acting. New Michael is gay.

The lore of the crash and "survivor" is typically retold in a cliche and one of the storylines is that of New Liz having a sister who apparently took drugs, drove and killed two innocent girls -either in her car or in another car. No explanation as to why New Liz came back to town and incidentally she's some medical professional. Enough clues were dropped for a savvy viewer to discern that New Isabel must have wiped the sisters mind of the memory of her discovering the trio's secret which leads to her death.

Now my decision I have to make is whether to watch through 2 seasons in bias just so I can hate on it.

The only reason I can think of these badly done reboots is to give a platform for new stars. How do these executives who pitch and greenlight these projects stay employed? The dialogue looks like it was written by a fresh graduate whom has not even watched the original show, and probably not even read the book series. To be fair I never read the books before or after either, but even I can write a better story line arc and dialogue.

Note ; In the original, it takes 3 years/ 3 seasons for them to discover and claim their destiny. It's been 10 years and these "guys" are basically in the same spot they were after graduating high school, both professionally and emotionally.

Just watch the original show and give this one a planet sized miss.

The Kid Detective (2020)

Well written "comedy" mystery that gets dark

[7/10 · 21 December 2020]

Well written and acted. Pacing is good, as was casting.

Glosses over some very dark themes in a light manner though. Good twist.

Enjoyable movie and worth your time.

Breach (IV) (2020)

Goddamn Awful

[1/10 · 21 December 2020]

Wooden acting, tired tropes and really bad dialogue.

Had to wonder how much Willis, Jane and Nichols needed a paycheck.

I have seen better special effects in 1990's B grade movies.

The Head (2020– )

Mystery fans will solve it mid way through

[7/10 · 13 December 2020]

Well acted and fairly well written. Dialogue holds true for the most part and the actors are very believable though some character development could have happened, and possibly left on the cutting room floor. Sets and camerawork very good. Fairly high production value.

If you are a fan of murder mysteries, or mind bending movies and tv shows the attempt at a trail of breadcrumbs are giant flashing signs where you will figure it out.

Story told in real-show-time and flashbacks.

They made a reveal at around 20 min in of ep4 where I figured it out. End episode they did the big reveal with flashbacks, possibly for what is termed "American audiences". Ending was predictable though. I would have ended it a bit differently with all the pieces falling into place like The Usual Suspects.

Stars taken off for predictability and me figuring it out halfway through making the remaining 2 eps and 20 min or so of ep4 kind of moot for me.

Decent way to binge 6 hours of your life.

Worth a watch.

His Dark Materials (2019–2022)

When the best acting and interesting part is the CGI Polar Bear

[1/10 · 31 October 2020]

Awful. Never read the books but saw the movie. Yet another Mary Sue character (yes, I'm aware that's probably the case in the books, but that was probably when having strong female protagonist was both rare and cool). Completely spoiled brat of a child that has to have everything her own way and it all works out for her.

How did this get a second season? Also, Dafne Keen can't act. I know actors, especially child actors have to start somewhere, but No. Just NO.

You have a real problem show/script /story when the best scenes/acting are the CGI polar bear

The Walking Dead: World Beyond (2020–2021)

Dumpster fire with Woke casting and story

[1/10 · 4 October 2020]

Two (biological?) sisters, one who looks more Latina/Mexican (although she could be Middle Eastern/Israeli heritage with those eyebrows) and the other a frumpy overweight sista. Both of African American parents, living in a saved campus city (mother died on Zombie Night). The Latina is the anti establishment troublemaker and Frumpy is the student council president. Senior security officer (campus police/sheriff) is gay. His gay lover is protecting the girls father whom is a bio-medical type on exchange with the new Powers That Be, who are the linchpin in a three "state" alliance. He has a bad ass, possibly lesbian or bi sidekick who goes by "Huck".

They recruit a dweeb geek, whose secret is that he sneaks "outside the wire" in search of "stuff" and a half wit mouth breather type whom has some sort of juvy reputation/rumor. He's the "muscle" of the group. Their mission is to go all the way to New York and rescue their father from TPTB. Four teenagers with no real combat training and conditioning. Remember that two teenage American girls is all that is needed to defeat anything in this world.

There's a cliche plot device which is bound to be revealed in the season bonding or destroying the dweeb and the Latina.

High production value, but story, acting and dialogue is worse than one of those B grade movies made by Asylum or Sharknado/8 Legged Freaks.

The pacing is extremely slow and the show plays out like a teeny bopper CW wannabe. This is one of those spin off shows trying to capitalize on the original fan base, but ultimately is one of those show that is the death knoll of the franchise.

If you are a fan of TWD comics and Both TWD and FTWD before they both jumped the zombie shark (multiple times now), then definitely give this show a miss.

Roped (2020)

Footloose with Cowboys

[1/10 · 30 July 2020]

Full disclosure I only watched the trailer.

It's basically Footloose, just replace rock and roll/dancing with a rodeo and cowboy. Watch The Notebook or The English Patient (slow burn movie though) instead.

Bird Box (2018)

Why is it the men never survive?

[5/10 · 7 January 2019]

If you have seen A Quiet Place, The Happening, Cargo, The Mist, The Road and Day of the Dead (Remake) (probably a bunch of others) you've seen this film. Predictable twist ending a la AQP.

Apocalypse scenario. Group of survivors. Must ultimately get from point A to point B (Sanctuary). Must have at least one supply run where one person dies. Have one or more people betray or abandon the group. Have women in the group whom cause the death of the group. Either through sexual competition among the men or doing something insanely stupid that leads to multiple deaths. At least one "sex" scene of two people polar opposites knocking boots because it's the end of the world - in this case a drug dealer and Police Cadet. Let in a stranger who is infected or is a "bad person" who leads the the death of one or more people.

Feminism on pause as men sacrifice themselves to save the women/the group.

A fairly decent way to burn through a couple hours if you are into apocalyptic movies. But it's all been done before and better. I would have liked to see a twist where the (two) people who abandon the group actually show up at the last scene in the Sanctuary.

Bumblebee (I) (2018)

So bad I checked to see if Rian Johnson wrote and directed.

[1/10 · 4 January 2019]

Transformers The Last Knight - We are going to ruin this franchise with this movie.

Bumblebee - Hold my energon.

This movies is so bad I checked to see if RJ wrote and directed. Please note, both Bay and Spielberg have their name attached to this movie.

So many cliches and tropes. On top of that so many plot threads and plot devices put in and not used (may have been cut). The Last Jedi level humor used.

If you don't have kids, wait for the blu-ray release or digital download. You don't need to see this on the big screen. If you have kids show them the Gen1 cartoon instead.

And ALL the actors get out acted by the CGI robots.

Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

When BLM and feminism meet

[2/10 · 18 March 2018]

Much like WW, the villain is defeated so easily.

Ok family movie, but nothing to write home about.

Personally what I really didn't like is how they changed one of the most beautiful warrior women from a blonde blue eyed bombshell into a scrawny black woman. in the same vein of Nick Fury.

Would they be ok with a white Shaft?

Black Panther (2018)

Basically a 2 hour BLM advert

[2/10 · 18 March 2018]

Plenty of visual fodder, okish acting.

Does nothing to further the Marvelverse in the run up to Infinity War.

Some unnecessary humor in sombre places.

The worst thing about this movie is that you can see that the characters pretend they value rule of law, tradition and democracy until they are on the losing side. Then it's just popularity contest.

Basically a 2 hour BLM film with a bit of feminism thrown in.

You could miss this movie and it wouldn't make a difference to the Marvelverse.

A Wrinkle in Time (2018)

Worst Disney theatrical release movie I have seen in decades.

[1/10 · 18 March 2018]

Visually stunning, but extremely boring and goes less than nowhere.

I had never heard of the books, let alone read them. Got dragged to this as a double feature.

The acting was terrible.

Avoid at all costs.

Annihilation (I) (2018)

Special effects good. Acting bad.

[1/10 · 18 March 2018]

If you have seen Arrival, Contact, Sphere, then avoid this first contact movie.

Acting is sub part, visual effects are quite good.

2 hour slow burn movie that goes absolutely nowhere.