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Reviews
Homicide Hunter: Lt. Joe Kenda (2011)
The Kind of Guy You Want to Be Sat Next to At Dinner
With a lifetime of experience, an eye for detail and a dry delivery, Joe Kenda is good company indeed. There's no nonsense with Joe - there's been a crime and that offends him. Things must be made right.
This is a great show and I hope the producers have sense not to muck about with the formula for the new season. The simplicity of the show is what really sells it. A straight-forward narrative with its re- enactments make for a great yarn, and it's perfect as it is. Joe walks us through an investigation and pieces the puzzle together for us, showing us what he sees. Well, my my my. And so another villain is caught.
Showgirls (1995)
Filmed in Tack-O-Rama...But a Guilty Pleasure
Abysmally shallow dialogue, cardboard characters, woeful choreography, wretched casting, godawful sex scenes, bad toupees, and whoever did Elizabeth Berkley's make-up clearly hated her guts - And that's pretty much Showgirls in summary.
And yet, I couldn't look away.
The fabulous Gina Gershon bravely threw her all in it. Kyle McLachlan did his best not to look as if he wanted to curl up and die. As for the star, Elizabeth Berkley, she could do nothing to redeem what was a truly unlikable character. (For some reason Hollywood seems to prefers to write 'spirited' women as obnoxious nutcases). And her sex scenes! The poor woman honestly looked like she was convulsing (again, check Kyle McLachlan's face in these scenes - it's not unbridled passion but career-crushing humiliation you're looking at there).
I can't say I'd recommend this to a lover of fine dialogue and nuanced performances. However, if your the kind or person who lists The Room and Plan 9 From Outer Space among their favourites, it's a hoot and a half.
Deja Vu (2006)
Such a waste of an interesting idea.
Had this film script landed on the desk of any other producer but Jerry Bruckheimer's, this could have been a great sci-fi action film. Twists, turns and interesting concepts abound. It could have been amazing.
However, as it is, the movie is reduced to this: things go boom - a lot, women are there to be leered at in the shower by a room full of meatheads or to pray over bowls of soup (thus showing what 'good' girls they are), cars go fast, men do actiony things and talk tough, guns go off and then, just for a change, things explode.
Honestly, Denzel Washington and Jim Caviezel are about as wasted in this boof-headed romp as two actors can be. Both are far better than this swill. I can only hope they were paid handsomely.
The Iron Lady (2011)
Brilliant Performances, Disappointing Film
If it wasn't for the cast of this movie, The Iron Lady would have noiselessly slipped straight into the $2 bargain bin.
Meryl Streep is absolutely breath-taking in her performance, but she is badly let down by a dis-jointed, tedious script with only occasional flashes of fire. Seemingly endless scenes of a dementia-affected Margaret Thatcher drinking tea and cleaning out cupboards fill this film with only short interludes about era-defining events such as the miner's strike and the Falklands War to break the monotony. The supporting cast are excellent and I longed for them to be given a chance to shine. I left the cinema feeling profoundly unimpressed.
I will be looking for the names of the director and scriptwriter in future productions, if only so I can avoid having my arse well and truly bored off by their work ever again.
The Room (2003)
A carnival of bizarre dialogue and shonky acting held together by a mystifying plot.
Oh hi, Reader.
What can I say that hasn't already been said about The Room? This movie is appalling...and yet I can't look away. I've watched it a dozen times and have shown it to anyone I can pin down in front of a screen. It's amazing, and yet it's so utterly dreadful. Shabby acting, poorly thought out scenes, non-existent plot, laughable soundtrack - it has it all!
Others have mentioned some great moments in this epic, but my personal choices of highlights to watch-out for are:
(1) Lisa's ever-expanding waistline. She begins as an attractive, fresh-faced girl but as the movie progresses she clearly gives up, stop combing her hair and pulls a chair up to the catering table for comfort. By the end she looks like a bag-lady. And who did her make-up? John Wayne Gacy?
(2) The actor playing Mark who, in one scene on the roof-top with Johnny, displays a moment of the most amazing self-realisation (and self-disgust), as the penny finally drops what a pile of poo he's performing in. It's clearly not him acting because up to this point he's been out-performed by the furniture.
(3) The character of Denny (who has to be one of the creepiest creatures ever committed to celluloid outside of a Stephen King movie)has many moments, but it's his sideways slide into rooms that amuses me most. Apparently the doors don't open more than halfway in Wiseauland.
So many quotable lines, so many memorable moments, never a dull moment. Johnny's over-sized suits, the sex scenes that were as alluring as dental surgery, the jaw-dropping misogyny, the complete lack of understanding of social interaction between humans, the songs about running through a forest of flames..... What a film.
How to Be a Serial Killer (2008)
Almost....but not quite
Two solid lead actors with great off-beat chemistry are really wasted here.
This film was far from boring, but it sadly fell short of it's potential due to a timid, aimless script that failed to push the boundaries far enough. By that, I don't mean adding blood and guts galore, but making the humour a bit more 'oh-that's-just-wrong' daring and perhaps having something to say about societal desensitization or serial killer groupies which may have given the film a bit of focus and a bit more oomph.
The set up and structure of the film were good, but the victims weren't vile enough to keep the viewer on the killers side (quite the reverse in a couple of cases) and the script lacked any real wit. Add to this a fairly cheesy musical score and some dodgy sound editing and the end result was just all a tad *meh*.
All in all, the points this film scores are for the performances of the two leads, particularly Matthew Gray Gubler who plays the needy, uncertain apprentice to perfection. These chaps need to be on our screens more - they are quality performers.
This film was OK. Just don't expect anything cutting edge.
Street Kings (2008)
Gritty, compelling and gutsy.
This is a real find - one of those sneaky films that slipped through the box office and past the critics, despite being a great movie. I'm sure it will find it's audience though, because it's class all the way.
Keanu puts in one of his best performances and seems to be only improving with age. I know he cops a lot of flack for his performances at times but understated doesn't always mean wooden. He is capable of great subtlety, if you care to pay attention. If the guy looked like Sean Penn instead of Keanu Reeves, I'm sure he would get more credit than he does.
The support cast are superb. Hugh Laurie is particularly noteworthy, laying on the smarm.
Gritty, compelling and gutsy. If you yearn for a return to the hard-edged cop movie, don't miss this hidden treasure.
Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)
Brilliant Fun!
Most people look at this film all wrong.
Instead of trying to see it as High Art, accept it for what it is: High Camp.
Gary Oldman chews up the scenery with magnificent aplomb - He's such value for money in every scene. Winona is lovely to look at and manages to not bump into the furniture (bless). Sadie Frost tries to ham it up while being overshadowed by the most hideous bridal gown know to creation. Anthony Hopkins, Richard E Grant and Tom Waite seem to be simultaneously confused, embarrassed and over-stimulated by what they're doing. And then, of course, there's Keanu: beautiful to look at and understated as ever. You know, I love this guy. Sure, people say his accent was a bit dodgy and he was miscast, but who cares? He's no worse than Winona (bless) and infinitely more fun.
One to be enjoyed in the spirit it was intended.
Brideshead Revisited (2008)
Missed the point completely.
This movie was always going to suffer by comparison to the mini-series, because the previous incarnation was a perfectly cast, perfectly executed realization of a much-loved novel. However, by using Castle Howard AGAIN for Brideshead, this film almost begs for comparison and can only ever come up wanting. What a stupid move by the producers! Could they find no other location in all of Britain? Putting that aside, this is a poor adaptation. I feel the writers miss Evelyn Waugh's intended point entirely and went for a tacky love triangle saga instead.
Matthew Goode is terrific, but too like Jeremy Irons to avoid comparison. Ben Whishaw was miscast, being not as charismatic or tragically defeated as Sebastian should have been. Emma Thompson - a firm favourite of mine - was channeling Joan Crawford for some reason.
I wish they could have taken the money - and cast - wasted on this and adapted a different Waugh novel.
Supernatural (2005)
This show just gets stronger and stronger.
You'd think the writers would be running out of ideas after 5 seasons of coming up with things that go bump in the night, but Supernatural just gets more and more compelling.
The Two J's get better all the time and have matured into their parts wonderfully. The story lines are still as fresh, surprising and unpredictable as ever. (The episode 'Changing Channels' was one of the funniest, hippest shows I've seen anywhere). This is a show that is happy to step outside the box and it pays off.
The policy of supporting players coming and going is smart and really works for this show by introducing fresh personalities and cutting out the stale players (and story lines). Getting rid of the tiresome Ruby when she had (more than) worn out her welcome was a huge boost for the show, as was the addition of the enigmatic and charismatic Castiel. Misha Collins is a master of dead-pan and has wonderful on-screen chemistry with all the other cast members. I hope he's a keeper - Finding someone like that is a rarity.
If I have one qualm it would be that the guys get a bit carried away with using gruff, manly-men, Dark Knight voices when having manly-men conversations. It leaves me looking for throat lozenges by the end of an episode. But that's only a minor quibble.
Kudos to Kripke and Co for bringing some good, creepy fun to TV and keeping it fresh for so long.
Long may you reign!
Stargate Universe (2009)
Dreadful .....and it could have been so Good!
I wanted to like this series. No, correction - I wanted to LOVE this series. Robert Carlyle in sci-fi - a Stargate, no less - talk about Hog Heaven! The man is brilliant, one of the most interesting actors around. I waited on tenderhooks for the series to start but the sad truth is my waiting was for naught - IT STINKS.
The problem is it tries to be everything and does nothing well. A combination of badly written soap, unlikable characters and half-baked, poorly executed sci-fi kills it dead. Sex scenes are used as filler for plot-holes the size of Jupiter (and even then are about as appealing as a prostate examination) and there are some glaring morally icky activities that clearly no-one on the writing team thought through before committing to film. The major pass time on board seems to be complaining or shagging and Robert Carlyle has been given such a one dimensional 'bad guy' to play it's a wonder wardrobe didn't supply him with a cape and a moustache to twirl.
It COULD have been great but the writers obviously have no clue what they are aiming for or who they are aiming it at. The first 10 episodes have left me feeling saddened that such a great opportunity has been squandered.
Stargate: Universe could have been this decades' Star Trek: Next Generation but it isn't even Quark.