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spiral5441
Reviews
The Coven (2015)
This film is brilliant...
...as an example of why nepotism needs to be completely eradicated for the good of humanity.
Watching this, I found myself wondering why whoever was in charge of the casting for this film had hired 3 kids with no acting ability whatsoever alongside a bunch of noticeably more competent actors.
Cynically I thought to myself "meh, the kids in question are probably related to the casting director or something". So as soon as this dreadful film finally came to an end, I popped onto IMDb to check if my suspicions were correct.
Indeed they were, in fact it seems this entire film was something of a family project; the director being John Mackie, the writer being Jayney Mackie, and the three similarly talentless kids being Cloe Mackie, Holly Mackie, and Billy Red Mackie. Oh and there's even a Rory Mackie listed as the "digital imaging technician".
A crappy film is one thing, but depressingly this also reflects one of the biggest problems we face as a species in this day and age: many people performing the most important jobs in the world are only there because of family connections and inherited wealth, titles and opportunities, rather than getting there on their own merit.
So thank you to The Mackie Family for spearheading this deepest of social problems that our world is currently riddled with; I realise it wasn't your intention to do so, but your efforts illustrate beautifully why this rigged and unjust system needs to be destroyed by any means necessary.
Martha Marcy May Marlene (2011)
Martha Marcy Maggie Mae
Woman escapes from cult and fears reprisals from remaining cult members. There's your premise. So many endless, exciting possibilities for what a writer could do with such a premise, and yet what we are presented with is this: Martha Marcy May Marlene, which may as well have been called "Oh my god, you're not middle class anymore".
First of all, this is not a psychological thriller as has been described. It's not even really a drama. It's 2 hours of watching three people (one of whom has recently been through the interesting experience of joining, participating in, and escaping from a cult, but you never really get enough info about that to satisfy your intrigue) eat, drink, sleep, cook, clean, and make small talk, interspersed with the main character - Martha - displaying signs of being "deeply disturbed". But, with the exception of kicking her brother-in-law halfway down a flight of stairs, most of this supposedly outrageous behaviour is actually quite subtle etiquette-based faux pas that do not exactly make for an engaging cinematic experience.
As for the cult, you never find out what they're about, what they believe in, or what their purpose is. Occasionally, you'll get a little snippet of some half-baked philosophical belief, but not enough to build up any sort of idea of what they stand for. It's painfully obvious that the writer has put hardly any thought whatsoever into the background of the most important feature of the entire film.
On the plus side, the acting is OK, and the scenes are well-filmed. Big deal, not much of a consolation when you've just wasted 2 hours watching the cinematic equivalent of waiting for a kettle to boil, only to discover that you've forgotten to switch the plug socket on.
Oh and another thing I hated is that it's one of these films where you have to keep adjusting the volume because every so often there will be a scene where the actors mumble inaudibly for a little while, followed by a scene which is then way too loud in comparison. So also not a good movie if you like to watch films in bed and/or when someone is sleeping in the room next door.