helvin3 Reviews

Moonfall (2022)

I could not stop laughing

[6/10 · 7 April 2023]

The secret to this film is to stop thinking it's serious and start seeing the funny side of it. For the first 20-minutes I was like WTF why is this so bad?! Then I accepted the cray cray and went on a wild ride that genuinely made me laugh so often. Was is an accidental comedy, or did the director plan this all along? All I know is that I'm sitting here feeling like I've had the most unique experience ever and I'm still laughing thinking back on it. It was so bad that I enjoyed it. But admittedly I also got quite invested in the plot. The storyline was interesting. I hope they make a serious mini series out of it some day.

You People (2023)

I had hoped for more comedy from these two

[6/10 · 28 January 2023]

I did enjoy the film overall, but it was more dramatic than comedic in my view. Although both Hill and Murphy are fantastic "all-round" actors... I guess I was genuinely hoping for a comedic masterpiece from them.

For me, it was "cringe" funny. All the jokes were based around cringeworthy and embarrassing material, which is hard for me to watch haha. But on the dramatic note, it absolutely nailed so many issues on the head and the stereotypes we see today, which was refreshing to see addressed.

Ultimately - a 6 from me because I enjoyed it, I laughed, I appreciated the message... But as I didnt get genius comedic moments between two fantastic comedic actors THAT'S what the let down was for me.

Poms (2019)

Sheryl is my spirit animal haha

[8/10 · 28 January 2023]

I've been wanting to watch this film for years because it looked silly and because I wanted to a support a film feautring older women. I finally got around to it today and loved it.

Every laugh out loud moment, however, was thanks to Sheryl who is just larger than life. I immediately took to Google to read all the articles about why we should all aspire to be more like Sheryl as we age... And found nothing but negative reviews. Sad.

I'm writing this review because I felt Poms was a great movie celebrating an older generation, accepting death and accepting aging. People are so obsessed with "being younger longer" that I felt it was a really refreshing view to find positivity in old age instead.

Absolutely recommend this film.

The Midnight Club (2022)

It NEEDS a second season

[8/10 · 7 December 2022]

I loved it! A very unique story and an interesting way of delivering it - some of the kids stories were amazing. Especially Natsuki's one, super creepy and twisty.

But, yes, unfortunately there is a but... the final episode did leave a lot of questions unanswered. I really hope we get a second season to wrap things up in a nice and tidy way. I think ratings would definitely go up if we are able to finish the story through season two. So many intriguing mysteries to unravel.

Netflix, if you're reading this, stop cancelling things and help us wrap up all your unfinished series and stories haha.

Don't Look Up (2021)

The rich and the greedy will destroy the world

[9/10 · 26 February 2022]

We've known it for a long time - that the rich and greedy will destroy the world and humankind (just look at the wars, covid, climate change etc) but it was funny to see it laid out in a film like Don't Look Up. It openly mocks the several ways the rich and greedy try to manipulate the people of this planet. But of course we're literally all too powerless to do anything about it! An entertaining warning for us all.

The Village (2004)

Liked this film much better the second time around

[8/10 · 3 September 2021]

But granted, I was also a teenager when I watched it the first time so I was probably very much like "you poor people having to live that way when there's a better way to live" haha "what a crap film it's no longer scary". 17 years later... I really enjoyed it. I vaguely remembered what the twist would be and I think it made me better appreciate how the movie was set up in order to deliver that twist.

Underwater (2020)

This movie is my nightmare

[7/10 · 24 August 2021]

Just knowing this movie was set so far under water already had me anxious haha as that's my actual nightmare. So for me, I had knots in my stomach from start to end.

I felt the storyline was unique and new, albiet a bit like Alien. I enjoyed the acting. I enjoyed the suspense. Yeah, my kinda movie all in all.

Soul (2020)

Adults need to watch this movie

[10/10 · 26 December 2020]

This movie was, quite frankly, a wake up call. This is a Pixar film for adults and it comes with an incredibly important message. I loved it and I absolutely want to listen to that message. #Goodatwalking

Mortal Engines (2018)

I really wish this was a TV series instead

[8/10 · 21 August 2020]

I actually really enjoyed it. I found it super unique with lots of interesting characters. But it was sooooo rushed - they packed so much into 2 hours - I really wish it was like a 3-season series or something haha. Man I would love to have delved deeper into the Strike storyline, or Anna,coz they intrigued me the most. Will keep my fingers crossed Netflix will do a Snowpiercer with this film.

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)

Embarrassment to the franchise

[1/10 · 12 June 2020]

A weird combination of lazy writing and over-the-top writing. So many stolen rewrites of other films, and so many unrealistic "let's make this more action packed" moments. An incredible shame that this is linked to the first film at all. Just really disappointed to be honest.

Super Troopers 2 (2018)

Almost as good as the first

[8/10 · 26 January 2020]

I genuinely thought that I would be disappointed with this film and was pleasantly surprised. Loved it - just as stupidly funny as the first, I was laughing all the way through. Reading some of the reviews here is quite interesting "ra ra ra juvenile, brainless humour ra ra ra" ... Um... Duh? That's exactly what it's meant to be. Haha. Stupid plot, stupid characters, stupid jokes - but somehow it all meshes together into a weirdo hilarious film that I'd definitely watch again.

Inferno (I) (2016)

Book fans will hate the ending. GAH

[1/10 · 30 November 2019]

I HATE it when Hollywood change amazing books to make it more cinematic. Oh I hate it so much. So, this film is a disaster in my opinion. Angry at Ron Howard for thinking he has the right to change a work of art.

Captain Marvel (2019)

Loved the girl power. Loved Fury + Goose.

[10/10 · 10 March 2019]

If this was just focusing solely on Carol (like with the first Iron Man) it wouldn't have worked - all the characters mixed in helped made this film great for me. Loved the girl power: Carol, Maria (especially!!!) and Monica. Loved the rocking 90s songs. But more than anything I was super happy to learn more about Fury's past. And his relationship with Goose: amazeballs hahahaha.

Outlaw King (2018)

Wish this was a mini-series instead

[6/10 · 28 December 2018]

Really interesting story - Robert De Brus. Can't believe I've never heard of him before. The acting was brilliant and beautiful footage captured etc... But boy did it whisk through the story fast. I had to stop and Google things to keep up and understand properly. I really, REALLY wish this was turned into a mini series instead. It would have been able to go into greater detail with some things they whisked through and gone on to tell the story even further. Missed opportunity! Oh and don't want with kids/parents lol - yet another like 3-minute long unnecessary sex scene.

I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House (2016)

It successfully kept me in suspense the entire way through

[7/10 · 17 March 2018]

I thought I'd write a review to contrast all the bad ones on here haha. I hate horror films that resort to obvious ghosts, cheap scares and gore - that ruins it for me and makes it not scary. So I'm always on the hunt for a horror that actually scares me. This film absolutely does not resort to those tricks I hate, and it kept me in a paranoid suspense the entire way through. It's a subtle and clever horror, although I will admit it wasn't perfect. Something was slightly off about the storyline I guess. But how it was filmed - and the pace - was brilliant. It will genuinely haunt me I think :-)

Step Sisters (2018)

Cringey first half, much better second half

[4/10 · 27 January 2018]

Script wasn't the greatest in this film. The first half was full of narcissistic personalities and over the top stereotyping... Then the second half delved into some topics relevant to this day and age and made it a much more interesting watch - alongside some awesome dance talent! TL/DR: wish that the great, relevant, thought-provoking themes of this film were given to a better writer and director (imo). Great steps!

Poltergeist (2015)

Remade for a modern audience. Not bad, but the original's better.

[6/10 · 5 July 2015]

When I first found out they were remaking Poltergeist I was horrified. This was the horror I grew up loving and basically compared any and all other horrors to. However, when I watched the trailer I was left thinking: "Okay - good trailer. Clown doll literally freaked me out. Maybe this is worth a try." Worth a try. That's what I'll say for this film. In no way do I think it is better than the original, however, I wasn't totally offended by it. To me, it was the same story just set in 2015, and completely made for a 2015 audience, if that makes sense? So incredibly tech-heavy, whether it was the products used in the film itself, or the CGI used to create the film. I was still entertained throughout, and creeped out by some things, so in its way it did its job. But, for now and forever I will always tell someone to watch the original over the remake. There is no contest in my eyes which one is the better Poltergeist film.

Nanking (2007)

Emotionally draining

[9/10 · 5 July 2015]

If you want to watch this - be prepared to feel sick and ball your eyes out and just feel emotionally drained afterwards... and this is coming from someone who is self-confessed emotionally unavailable. I will only recommend this film to others with a clear warning of what they're getting themselves into, but damn does this need to be watched by everyone. Thank f*** for documentaries like this existing in the world - as much as some people might not like the information being out there - it needs to be!!! Despite how graphic it is, I would love this to start being shown to kids all around the world - it is the perfect doco for showing how evil people can be, and how nothing else matters (race, country, religious beliefs, sexuality etc) when we should all just plain and simply focus our lives on NOT being evil b@stards. This is a weird review, I know. It's just I'm having so many feels right now. GAH!

Annabelle (I) (2014)

Annabelle the doll is scary. This movie is not.

[1/10 · 9 January 2015]

About a minute into this film I squealed out of fear when they put the Annabelle doll into frame. I have a genuine fear of dolls like this. They freak me out. Therefore I was excited about this movie - I sincerely thought that there would finally be another movie out there that would manage to scare me (I have 3 in total so far). Sadly this is not the case. The movie was boring and predictable. The worst thing was that they have this terrifying creature-object-thing to make good use of and they failed miserably at using it. I'm genuinely disappointed at the reuse of the same old washed up horror storyline. How'd this script even get approved??! booo! I wish I wrote it so they could actually see what fear of a doll is haha.

Godzilla (2014)

If i wanted to watch a movie about humans then I'd go to something called Humans

[2/10 · 23 May 2014]

I'm so angry right now. I feel like I barely saw anything of the namesake character and instead I get the stereotypical human plot in devastation movies. I literally yelled "oh come on!" in the middle of the cinema when I finally thought we were about to get an amazing Godzilla fight scene... Then it immediately cut back to boring human plot. COME ON!!! I'm not usually one for big brutal fighting monster movies etc but with these effects, the 3D, and Godzilla of all monsters man I was expecting a far more intense battle than what we got. Bryan Cranston's character and scenes felt so unnecessary by the end, like it was just chucked in to fill time which sucks because I love him as an actor. Ugh I better just stop now. There's so much I wasn't happy with. I'm ready for the next remake.

The Book Thief (2013)

Thrice failed to read the book - so glad this movie came out

[10/10 · 16 March 2014]

As I write this my eyes are literally swollen and puffy and my nose needs constant tissue-attention. As I said in my summary, I have already tried to read this book many times - in fact it is currently sitting on my phone now, still waiting to be read. My attention was never grabbed in those first few chapters and so I failed, which was always annoying for me, because I heard it was such a good book. And then I saw the trailer for the movie - and I was happy - finally I could know the story. Well, wow. WOW. Powerful story. SO interesting to see WW2 from the perspectives of everyday German citizens. And thankfully so too, because there's too many stories out there that cast Germans as villains. I saw someone else's review on here that called the film 'slow', whereas I found the 'slowness' to be suspenseful as hell: I was constantly waiting for SOMETHING to happen at any moment like I was watching a horror film. I loved the story, and the characters and the acting and everything. Hated it too in a way... overall I am so glad to have experienced it. I think now with knowledge of the story, I can finally get myself through the book - the original masterpiece. Happy face!

Carrie (2013)

Julianne Moore scared the crap out of me

[7/10 · 22 January 2014]

So many people hate this movie because its a remake. I haven't seen the original and probably won't to be honest, so I'm rating this movie based on this version alone. Loved Chloe and Julianne, but the other actors were the downside of the movie IMO, they were a bit cheesy and over did things a bit. Julianne Moore was amazing - she literally scared and disturbed me. Hers is probably the creepiest character I think I've EVER come across. Ugh just thinking about her is making me shiver. Odd I guess, considering Carrie is supposed to be the "horror" character... but maybe its knowing that there are actual nutso's like Moore's character out there in the world that makes her the scary one...

Spring Breakers (2012)

Disturbing! Maybe it'll teach some teens a lesson though

[3/10 · 31 August 2013]

Okay so the end was a bit far-fetched - most people wouldn't go that far - but most of it was so true to life for people that age it was actually quite disturbing to watch. I watched this and was automatically reminded of when I was 18 and the types of situations me and my friends ended up in. Watching this was so seriously disturbing and cringe-worthy - like you wanted to go in and slap them out of it. So I kinda hope that younger people watch this and think WTF are these ppl doing - and then don't end up in the same situations themselves!!! I gave this movie a 3/10 rating purely for this "learn a lesson" factor. Otherwise I felt it was quite boring, disturbing, annoying... James Franco is a brilliant actor though to make me hate him/feel creeped out by him here and then love him on so many other occasions.