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Attack of the Hollywood Clichés! (2021)
Love movies? Here's a historically inaccurate documentary about them!
If you love movies and have watched behind-the-scenes specials and read books and pored over IMDB and other website, you'll spend most of this screaming at the TV.
If you don't know much about Hollywood and think this is accurate, you've been bamboozled.
Half of the clichés are clever and almost accurate-if you ignore context. Many of the films are presented with historically inaccurate statements, such as suggesting the Hayes Code was one man's decision rather than a reflection of American society at that time.
Several of the clichés are politically charged from one specific point of view, ignoring facts and larger conversations so that one self-entitled, pompous journalist or film critic can mindlessly repeat something learned in a community-college film class.
Truth is pesky when you're trying to make a political statement.
Looney Tunes: Back in Action (2003)
Better than expected! True to the characters themselves.
After ignoring "Looney Tunes: Back in Action" for years, I finally watched it after reading reviews from several critics who preferred it over Space Jam. Don't get me wrong, this isn't some unsung masterpiece. But "Back in Action" has some impressive set pieces and-more importantly-it's true to the characterizations that made Looney Tunes popular for decades. In Space Jam, Bugs and his pals mostly existed to spice up a leaden performance from Michael "Air" Jordan. This movie allows the characters to be themselves, with gorgeous animation that bounces and stretches and leaps off the screen as it should. The animation was directed by the same guy who handled the Genie in Disney's Aladdin. It's wonderful.
Yet it's not perfect. The script is typical late 90s/early 2000s mindless kiddie fluff, a dark period which also gave us "Chicken Little" and "Home on the Range." Despite the aid of computers, the eyelines between real actors and animated toons often don't match up, which betrays some carelessness. Roger Rabbit handled that better back in 1988.
Still, for insane fun that harkens back to the uncontrolled anarchy of classic Looney Tunes, give this movie a chance. I'm glad I did.
The Imagineering Story (2019)
Fantastic History But Dishonest When It Catches Up to the 21st Century
The first few episodes of this documentary are wonderful, with honest and intriguing insight regarding WDI and its history, triumphs, few misses, and huge hits. I already knew all the big stories from the two excellent, official "Imagineering" books and the officially endorsed, but technically unofficial "Disneyland Paris" book, plus the "EPCOT Center" book that came out in the early 1980s. (Side note: if you're a theme park fan, track down those books!) But the onscreen interviews with Imagineering legends made those first few episodes outstanding!
Then we get to the 21st century. Probably due to studio pressure, the documentary bizarrely attempts to credit CEO Bob Iger, not WDI, with the division's triumphs in the early 2000s through mid 2010s.
In real life, Iger's "Blue Ocean" theme-park strategy lasted from about 2007-2011 and minimally invested in the American parks except for the California Adventure revamp and some Vacation Club resorts. That changed when Universal opened its first Harry Potter land and forced Disney to compete again in Florida. Of course the documentary glosses over this.
Other facts get muddled as well. Haunted Mansion Holiday, which began before Iger was CEO, is vaguely credited to him and WDI instead of Disneyland's Entertainment Department.
I don't expect a Disney+ documentary to tell the whole truth about the company. For example, I don't expect them to detail how JK Rowling initially approached Disney, and how Iger's "Blue Ocean" think-tank wanted to build a VR ride and a teacup spinner, and how Universal scooped up the theme parks rights by promising to use the same art directors as the Warner films. You can look up all those facts for yourself. But without the boy wizard, we wouldn't have mega investments like Pandora and Galaxy's Edge, or little things like Seven Dwarfs Mine Train and Storybook Circus.
At the very least, I do expect an official documentary to give credit where credit is due. As a long-time theme park fan I was floored at how the final episode became a bizarre love letter to Bob Iger. I assume Disney+ and possibly the CEO himself insisted on it.
Viewer, beware that the final episode is dishonest. People say history books are written by the victors. Look for historical facts elsewhere.
Peter Pan & Wendy (2023)
Can we stop pretending the company has any magic left?
Think of it as a made-for-TV Disney channel movie, and "Peter Pan and Wendy" is okay as a babysitter for ages 7-12. Of course, Disney used to aim higher than "babysitter" material, but those days are gone. The acting is wooden, the leads have zero onscreen chemistry, Jude Law is passable but stuck with a rotten script, and the special effects are washed out in that awful lighting intended to hide green screen FX.
I tried giving this snoozefest a chance but turned it off 3/4 of the way through. Disney seems unable to replicate the magic of its classics and seems determined to churn out poorly written, dark, gritty remakes that depend on our memories of the better versions. But with unwanted live-action remakes of more animated gems on the way, a rabid fan base ready to downvote any naysayers, and a list of access media sites ready and willing to shill for a corporation, it's wiser for us to consider these products made-for-TV specials. We shrug and move on with life-even if these assembly-line widgets are dumped into theaters too.
Jurassic World Dominion (2022)
Welcome - to This Boring Park
Most of the original cast is reunited, and they still sparkle together. Pratt and Howard reprise their decent onscreen chemistry. The special effects are bigger than ever, the casting is fairly solid, the audience only expects a mindless popcorn movie anyway. What could go wrong? How about a screenplay so convoluted, loud, and boring that the whole thing falls apart?
Jurassic World: Dominion (JWD) is yet another example of how Hollywood is handing multibillion-dollar franchises to inept, unqualified screenwriters. Like so many other high-profile, big-budget theatrical releases and streaming series from about 2017-2022, the screenwriters don't seem to understand how real people interact with each other or form sentences. JWD is a collection of digital set pieces in which human actors spout one-liners while jumping away from CG monsters. Dialogue is on the nose and frequently describes what we already see onscreen. Stock villains from sci-fi, westerns, 80s action flicks, and spy capers abound. None of it matches up coherently.
This nonsense can be fun when an overall story doesn't take itself too seriously (I actually enjoyed the incredibly goofy take on Kong-versus-Godzilla in 2021); but JWD takes on heavy-hitting subjects such as global warming, the worldwide food chain, a child's life, an important baby dinosaur, black-market weapons dealers, and -wait, did I lose you?
Everything is loud! And important! Right now! Immediately! And just like a loud storm can eventually lull you to sleep, about 45 minutes into the movie, you won't care what happens; and you'll realize there's still 1-1/2 hours to slog through to the end.
I gave it two stars for a handful of animatronic/puppet dinosaurs (always nice to see a real prop when the other dinosaurs look like cartoons), plus a clever throwaway gag involving the original cast and a loud espresso machine.
Santa Inc. (2021)
Why'd I Give This Trash a Chance?
I wasted my time watching (almost) all of this dumpster fire to see if it's actually as bad as everyone (who isn't on the studio's payroll) says. YES. It's that awful. Is it the worst series ever? Well, It IS possibly the worst thing ever released from a major Hollywood studio. It's worse than Ishtar's Gate. It's worse than Cleopatra. It's worse than late-'80s SNL.
The jokes land flat. The raunchy humor doesn't even approach funny, just obnoxiously juvenile, like a second-grade bully convinced his antics make him the class clown. The "glass ceiling" trope is so preachy, so vicious, and so remarkably stereotypical that you wonder if Seth Rogan understands 99.9% of the world isn't as brainwashed as he apparently is.
Episode 1: Santa's sleigh is spray painted with graffiti that says, "Brought to you by capitalist a$$hole$"-because Rogan and Silverman don't seem to understand their overpaid salaries come from people who choose to pay for their schlock.
All middle episodes are full of self-indulgent attacks against caricatures that the screenwriters seem to think really exist: Laugh (?) as the show takes on the Good Ol' Boy system, brought to you by the guy who exploited Hollywood's same system to get his first few jobs. Gasp (!) as poor little female elf can't do anything because she seems to live in an alternate universe where women can't vote, become politicians, or have careers as stand-up comedians. Learn (!) that hate is indeed strong and rightfully mocks the song of "Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men" because all religious beliefs are eeeeeee-ville.
Final episode: Be educated (!) about equality and unfair practices and equity and hate, by the same people who launch spoiled, vicious attacks against anyone who disagrees with them on social media.
In real life, they want you to toss away your own thoughts and mindlessly agree with whatever they say. In their TV show, they warn you to think for yourself. They want it both ways as long as they get to keep their mansions.
Don't waste time on this mess. Let the creators gnash their teeth that the public finally said No.