The worst movie I've ever seen. Unbelievably bad on every account. I didn't used to think it was the worst, yet when I started ranking the worst movies I'd ever seen, it took the top and nothing could unseat it. The video game tie-in was no better.
Reviews
7 Reviews
Interview with the Assassin
(2002)
It's not real, but damn does it ever look it
20 May 2003
This film is amazing. 100% amazing. Everything about it is so real, all the little touches lead to it looking like a true documentary, and yet there are some great filmmaking techniques that are "happy accidents" that advance it as a dramatic story as well.
The lead actor is frighteningly good, as is the mostly off-camera actor playing Ron... very impressive and just downright astonishing.
Recommended easily, and its very rewatchable too. Hell, even some real documentaries don't hold up to repeated viewings like this mock-one does.
The lead actor is frighteningly good, as is the mostly off-camera actor playing Ron... very impressive and just downright astonishing.
Recommended easily, and its very rewatchable too. Hell, even some real documentaries don't hold up to repeated viewings like this mock-one does.
xXx
(2002)
It's no Bond, but that's why it works
20 May 2003
This movie is all about being big, loud, fun, and it knew it, and succeeded beyond belief.
Leave your brain at the door and enjoy basically. This is a true callback to the action epics of the 80s, complete with a lead actor that is obviously enjoying himself and what he does. Diesel isn't a great actor, but he's really good in these roles and that's all that matters.
This isn't a high drama that should make you think, so I don't see why people are complaining that it didn't make them think. It's obviously a high energy action film, and it did it flawlessly. It also harkened back to the days of 007 doing outrageous stunts and measured up with ease.
Does XXX replace Bond? No, but they can very easily co-exist as they don't really merit comparison, other than they are both spies.
Is it a stupid film? Only if you expected something more than a big action movie, which is what all the promotional materials said it was. I honestly don't see how someone could see this film after seeing previews for it and have reason to complain as it's exactly what it said it would be. To expect more is foolish really, and leaves me to ask "what did you expect when you paid your ticket?"
Leave your brain at the door and enjoy basically. This is a true callback to the action epics of the 80s, complete with a lead actor that is obviously enjoying himself and what he does. Diesel isn't a great actor, but he's really good in these roles and that's all that matters.
This isn't a high drama that should make you think, so I don't see why people are complaining that it didn't make them think. It's obviously a high energy action film, and it did it flawlessly. It also harkened back to the days of 007 doing outrageous stunts and measured up with ease.
Does XXX replace Bond? No, but they can very easily co-exist as they don't really merit comparison, other than they are both spies.
Is it a stupid film? Only if you expected something more than a big action movie, which is what all the promotional materials said it was. I honestly don't see how someone could see this film after seeing previews for it and have reason to complain as it's exactly what it said it would be. To expect more is foolish really, and leaves me to ask "what did you expect when you paid your ticket?"
The Matrix Reloaded
(2003)
The Wachowskis pulled a Phantom Menace
19 May 2003
It was like a videogame. Scott Kurtz hit it dead on when it said its basically: intro, fightscene, cutscene, fightscene, cutscene, fightscene, cutscene, carchase, cutscene, ugh.
Neo in this was just... I can say "Imagine Luke Skywalker in a movie right after Return Of The Jedi, but as whiney as he was in the 1977 Star Wars" and that's about it.
Unlike X2, T2, Godfather 2, Two Towers, Back To The Future II, or any other middle film, Reloaded simply can not be enjoyed on its own. You NEED to have seen the first, there's nothing to remind you of what is what, and it ends forcing you to see the third to get any semblance of a satisfactory conclusion.
And don't even get me started on the porn rave at the beginning. Talk about not following up your opening with anything interesting. I was hopeful that because they were getting the lovescene done so early that it would allow the rest to be unimpeeded, but alas...
Essentially, the characters don't understand what's going on until 2 hours in. They are told this numerous times. They admit to this. Yet still do it unquestioningly. Naturally, the audience is even MORE lost. This is bad filmmaking.
Phantom Menace has some cool bits that are DEFINITELY worth rewatching, but on the whole was bad. Matrix Reloaded is the same. Essentially Revolutions will pick up and be the movie Reloaded should have been from what I can tell so far, which is just bad storytelling too.
Oh yeah. The core themes were blunt as hell, but themes do not make a plot. The fanboys saying "You need to see Revolutions too" don't understand... this film simply cannot stand on its own two legs, which hampers it indefinitely. Is it meant to? Not entirely, but neither was Two Towers and it did it without problem.
Oh yeah, CGI, the bane of movies lately... flailing characters that move too fluidly and effects that could have been a simple bluesceen wireshot done with CGI. The Wachowskis went from having a smaller budget an having to maximize it, to all the money they needed and spent too much I think.
It is a shame that the success they had on the first one was the downfall of the second.
Essentially, the Wachowskis pulled a Phantom Menace.
Neo in this was just... I can say "Imagine Luke Skywalker in a movie right after Return Of The Jedi, but as whiney as he was in the 1977 Star Wars" and that's about it.
Unlike X2, T2, Godfather 2, Two Towers, Back To The Future II, or any other middle film, Reloaded simply can not be enjoyed on its own. You NEED to have seen the first, there's nothing to remind you of what is what, and it ends forcing you to see the third to get any semblance of a satisfactory conclusion.
And don't even get me started on the porn rave at the beginning. Talk about not following up your opening with anything interesting. I was hopeful that because they were getting the lovescene done so early that it would allow the rest to be unimpeeded, but alas...
Essentially, the characters don't understand what's going on until 2 hours in. They are told this numerous times. They admit to this. Yet still do it unquestioningly. Naturally, the audience is even MORE lost. This is bad filmmaking.
Phantom Menace has some cool bits that are DEFINITELY worth rewatching, but on the whole was bad. Matrix Reloaded is the same. Essentially Revolutions will pick up and be the movie Reloaded should have been from what I can tell so far, which is just bad storytelling too.
Oh yeah. The core themes were blunt as hell, but themes do not make a plot. The fanboys saying "You need to see Revolutions too" don't understand... this film simply cannot stand on its own two legs, which hampers it indefinitely. Is it meant to? Not entirely, but neither was Two Towers and it did it without problem.
Oh yeah, CGI, the bane of movies lately... flailing characters that move too fluidly and effects that could have been a simple bluesceen wireshot done with CGI. The Wachowskis went from having a smaller budget an having to maximize it, to all the money they needed and spent too much I think.
It is a shame that the success they had on the first one was the downfall of the second.
Essentially, the Wachowskis pulled a Phantom Menace.
X2
(2003)
Wow
10 May 2003
Blade was way underrated. X-Men was excellent. Blade II was amazing fun. Spider-Man was outstanding. X2 blows them all away.
I could go on forever, but there was just so much more of a "this is the film we wanted" after X-Men. Singer knows exactly what he's doing and I can't imagine anyone else at the helm for the third one. He at least has to write it, that's for sure. Even if you've never seen the first one, X2 cleverly gives you all the info you need without beating you over the head AND makes you want to see the first one again.
This even beats The Crow as my favourite comic film. Ignoring that, its one of my favourite of any films.
I could go on forever, but there was just so much more of a "this is the film we wanted" after X-Men. Singer knows exactly what he's doing and I can't imagine anyone else at the helm for the third one. He at least has to write it, that's for sure. Even if you've never seen the first one, X2 cleverly gives you all the info you need without beating you over the head AND makes you want to see the first one again.
This even beats The Crow as my favourite comic film. Ignoring that, its one of my favourite of any films.
Tooth Fairy
(2001)
THIS inspired Darkness Falls?
7 May 2003
OK, I just watched this and I'll give credit where its due: awesome concept. That alone is great, but overall, this film literally looked like one of the films from my own Film Production class, AND had worse sound. Didn't sound very well mixed at all, a little too raw almost. Then there's the stereotypical mom and boy stuff, complete with under- and/or overacting.
Anyway, its inspiring as hell to see this is what led to Darkness Falls, so on that note I'll say check it out for curiosity's sake, but don't expect much.
Anyway, its inspiring as hell to see this is what led to Darkness Falls, so on that note I'll say check it out for curiosity's sake, but don't expect much.
Berserk in the Antarctic
(2000)
Truly awesome and inspiring
29 January 2003
I saw this at the 2001 Banff Film Festival when it came through Thunder Bay and it was truly amazing. Jarle arrives at South Africa, which he sailed all the way from Norway in a tiny boat just to see, and it depressed the hell out of him.
So he meets up with two guys who have NEVER sailed, one of which has dreamt of visiting every continent and has no way of getting any further south from his current location, the other running away from his wife who, if memory serves, he left at the altar. The first we see of them he has them tying knots and failing.
I'll leave it at that, but safe to say the photography is amazing, the drama is intense, and overall its one hell of a fun ride. You REALLY care about these guys and its a truly amazing journey. Hard to find, but 100% recommended.
So he meets up with two guys who have NEVER sailed, one of which has dreamt of visiting every continent and has no way of getting any further south from his current location, the other running away from his wife who, if memory serves, he left at the altar. The first we see of them he has them tying knots and failing.
I'll leave it at that, but safe to say the photography is amazing, the drama is intense, and overall its one hell of a fun ride. You REALLY care about these guys and its a truly amazing journey. Hard to find, but 100% recommended.
Tell Your Friends