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Mickey Blue Eyes (1999)
Caan's role in this film preceded
And perhaps molded his role in the movie Elf. Never would have imagined there was such a nice guy mob boss. Caan gives credence to whatever role he plays. Hugh was a perfect cast for a mild mannered fiancee to Triplehorn. This film is what I would categorize as a rom com "for the guys". It's got romance and it's got comedy. I accidentally came across this film and am glad that I finally gave it a go. There are two separate restaurant scenes that tipped me over my chair unexpectedly. The film satires the stereotype that society cast on certain characters. Today's environment would probably make it difficult for this movie to be made; am happy this was made when people had a sense of humor. I'm beginning to understand why Hugh was so famous in the 90s and 2Ks with roles like this in Mickey Blue Eyes and About a Boy. Fellas, watch this film. Ladies, this is a romcom so you should watch it too.
Hulk (2003)
The biggest
Issue with this version of hulk movie is that it casted A listers with dramatic pedigree. Moreover, the cast are too attractive for the roles that they tried really hard to be nerds and less attractive that it wasn't genuine. Gave this movie another try since I didn't think highly of it when it was released. I was right then, I just didn't know how to express a critical view then. For a modern movie, the pacing is too slow that I happen to look at the run time which was at 39 min when I realized I haven't seen any action. I must give credit when it is due. This film pre date mega budget super block buster franchise, and it managed well with a story line that would run circles around comic book movie thereafter. This film probably catered to comic book nerds that followed the character closely that it neglected the general audience. I couldn't finish the film in one sitting hence the 3/10 star rating.
Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard (2021)
I should have
Read reviews before selecting this movie. The first was on ok 3 out of 10 star rating. I was blinded by the headlights that Selma would bring to the movie understanding that she will have more screen time. In hind sight, maybe if I watched this on mute, I would have rated it significantly higher. My infatuation for Selma has disappeared like a magician's vanishing act. Why? Simple, she just can't act. Her previous roles in Desperado, Once upon a time in Mexico, From Dusk till Dawn, How to be a Latin Lover, all masked her acting inabilities. THWB had her cursing every other word which leads me to believe that she could not put a full English sentence together on her own. Maybe I'm old fashioned, but her cursing dropped her hotness from 9 to 2 on a ten point scale, and so goes this movie. 3 from the original to 1 for this sequel on a 10 scale. Nevermind the other actors or the story, there is nothing to appreciate there either.
Cool Hand Luke (1967)
Cool indeed.
When I first saw this movie in my youth, I thought it was about nothing. I thought it was just another movie that Hollywood stars made to pass their time without exerting too much effort in the action. Being older now as I write a review, I realize how much symbolism there is in each scene that played out. This movie is poetic in almost every aspect. I get the sense that Newman enjoys playing characters similar to his personality: Mischievous, cunning, opportunistic, and eternally optimistic, while masking a tortured soul. I can relate. The quote "what we have here is failure to communicate" is overused by boomers and corporate head hunchos. Understandable, because Newman's characters often have great and memorable lines. It's too bad that Slapshot quotes aren't mainstream...I guess we'll stick to Cool Hand Luke quotes to avoid offending millennials and genXers. Steve McQueen cool vs Paul Newman? Paul is hands down the cooler cat. Paul has charisma even when he plays belligerent good for nothing character that is evident in this movie.
Falling for Figaro (2020)
The character M. Geoffrey-Bishop
Made the movie entertaining. I rated this movie a solid seven out of ten stars instead of an enjoyable eight because for me, the lead actress was placid too often during scenes that demanded an emotion. Am unsure of the casting details but I would hazard to guess that all the singing roles had an operatic background as they were convincing with their performance. I would have liked this movie even better also if the screenplay writers (or director) didn't subtly hint on how the movie ends. Most rom coms are predictable enough as lead roles do end up together; I wished they left the viewers guessing who wins the contest as it is the only thing that has not been decided.
Les Misérables (2012)
Before
Viewing this production, must familiarize with the story to be able to enjoy this musical version. I watched this 2012 and was more focused on following along instead of enjoying the musical. After viewing previous versions, then rewatching this, I admire this more than I first did. This is a very sad story and a tear jerker, namely the scene with the song "I dreamed" and Epone's hopeless romance as it is the true love compared to Marius infatuation with Cossete. Epone's hopelessness is symbolically painful for anyone whose heart's been broken at least once (I imagine everyone over age 25 has experienced). Scored it a solid 8 not higher only because I had to search out previous production to understand the story. This must have been fun for the cast to make as it allowed them to show the range of their talent vs being constantly typecasted. Even if you don't like musicals (like me), watch this one.
Watchmen (2009)
So many
Brilliant scenes in this movie; all equally capable of drawing an emotion whether it be fear, horror, agony, or pure sadness. I will focus on a scene to shorten my review of the movie. When Dr Manhattan walked as a human. Living a normal life, accomplished and fulfilling. Then his world turns upside down when he gets accidentally locked in the lab. The gut wrenching realization of the pending doom is relatable especially for humans waiting for the inevitable decay of what once was. Sheer terror. The scene also included a little background into the character's human. Music selection for the scene fits very well (True through the movie).
Casino Royale (2006)
Baccarat!
Writing review from a fresher eyes, unhindered by biases would have hold when movie first came out on screen. I like the franchise so it goes without saying it's worth the watch, but I write a critique that goes beyond all the praises of the movie. I dislike the fact that they aren't playing baccarat. There is nothing elegant, exclusive, nor classy about hold em poker. Hold em is for the commoners; every casino has a couple dozen tables designated for hold em. Hold em tables is where you see gambling addicts loose their minimum wage money. Hold em is a game for addicts who bluff the other guy that they have larger stones. Producers of Casino Royale should have chosen another game, something obscure. I recall a scene towards the beginning of game where Craig sees the raise but never shows card after opponent shows cards - hardly a gentleman move in what is supposed to be a high class suit and tie table. After reading my review, you will probably think less of this movie.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder (2002)
Reinstate again and again. Write that down.
This movie is a classic now. Why the ten stars? Because it is the best of it's genre. This is better than it's predecessors because actors looked like they were in control as opposed to drugs controlling the actors/action - you know which movies they are. This is better than it's predecessors because there is a heart warming lesson at the end. This is better than it's predecessors also because it had sound track you can actually jam to. This is better than it's contemporaries because of talented casts (booger fr revenge of the nerds has a cameo). This is better than any future movies of this genre because the period after this is afraid to straddle the line between crude and political correctness for the sake of comedy. Attempts to capitalize on this franchise were futile; glad orig cast (all but one) said no to sequels. Let's not ruin a perfect movie. Felt compelled to review to raise the avg star rating on this site. To the not so positive reviews out there about this movie, I close with a baby Cochran quote from the movie: If the glove don't fit, you are full of s...
Destination Wedding (2018)
If Charlie Brown and Lucy were
To grow up as adults, having gone through unsuccessful relationships. This movie was a pleasant surprise for me. First off, I think it's brilliantly written for a two character movie. It's on the opposite end of the spectrum of 'Hard Candy' in terms of what type of emotions the film attempted to draw out. Secondly, this movie used many of the political talking points most would argue for, depending where you stand on the 'battle of the sexes' then it turned them comical. Most real world political arguments are fruitless and not logical anyway, so it wasn't too difficult for this movie to get to the punch line before you lose interest, or worse, get offended. Thirdly, the movie was nicely edited to cut through unimportant events or topics - like what the characters would have said to each other during a typical 45 minute mani pedi treatment. Watch this movie with someone you disagree with and you'll laugh at how ridiculous your arguments are.
The Batman (2022)
Figured out all the riddles
Also figured out all the puzzles two minutes into the movie. I hate myself for sitting through almost all of the movie. Fell asleep multiple. Even tried watching it again to give it a fair review. No such luck for me. This version of Batman is just as poorly written as Batman and Robin from the 90s. The dialogues are plain; the chemistry between characters are non existent; the villains are not as threatening as previous version. The actors were adequate. The batmobile was underwhelming. Adding more lively characters and character development would have justified the runtime of this film. Just skip this one.
Criminal (2016)
Good cast. Bad screen play.
Costner's acting earned most of the five star given to this film which is deserving of only a one star rating out of ten. This film failed to recognize it's audience. When a comic book movie is released, there is a certain suspension of disbelief expected. When an espionage thriller film is released, there is also a certain expectation to suspend disbelief in terms of tech tools used by the heroes and villains. One thing the producers/directors/screen plays should not expect the audience to do is accept the ineptitude of the spy agency as a whole. Agencies can be corrupt, but ineptitude is the least of what they are. The film went full fledged action despite of it's emotional core - the focus is Pope's fond memories of his family, not of the missiles. If the focus was on the missiles, then they could have casted a less attractive cast (because human behavior will dictate how much more compassionate we become when tragedy is inflicted on the beautiful).
M3GAN (2022)
Does she talk?
Not a scary movie, but I understand that it is classified in the horror genre because it is the frightening reality that our technology is headed. Many frightening things that the doll does is already in place, such as listening devices for market analytics. There are implied (off screen) horror, exempli gratia, dog snatched then killed; the bully kid ran over by an SUV; the neighbor murdered by the doll. I personally thought this movie was a comedy - I laughed out loud a handful of times. Considering that the storyline is straight forward, the movie dragged trying to explain things causing the pace to feel slower than what a typical horror movie would feel like. Cautionary tale about tech gone wrong has been done many decades before and will continue decades well after this, but whose listening? I. T. Will continue to improve tech regardless of human societal concerns. This movie is just as funny as Ex-machina. Megan sees that pen.
Confessions of a Shopaholic (2009)
It's good
To revisit movies haven't seen in a while. It's also best to review them much later in life. Here's my argument for scoring it significantly higher than the current score on this site: the movie is meant to be fun and goofy. There are real consequences to the protagonist's actions such as losing her job, losing her best friend, losing her romance, and you do truly feel bad for her. Only for a moment. Despite the heavy issues that could squeeze out a tear for Rebecca, you never do because she's just so adorable and cheerful that you know her personality wills her to get back up. Most romcom type of movies are heavy with comedy upfront then weigh you down with drama for over an hour of the rest of the film. Confessions of a shopaholic on the other hand balances these emotions well enough keeping in tune with the feel good type of romcom. I probably would have scored this movie a four during my 20s. This movie gets better with your age.
Firefly (2002)
If you can't get enough Serenity
Then you can watch this. I personally prefer movies that are short so I didn't like having to dig for more of each character's background thru 40 minutes long shows 14 times. But I did anyway. I score this lower than the movie because River was annoying with her constant whining - more exposure to River on TV vs movie naturally. Luckily she's not featured in most of the episodes so this show gets a respectable 7/10 stars. River is supposed to be 17 years old with acute symptoms of schizophrenia of some sort. Her constant crying made her seem more like a 6 year old throwing a tantrum. If she's not whining, she's wondering around with a gaping mouth looking like a mentally challenged child instead of a loony adult. They did however explored the idea of making her a threat the way schizophrenic people are unpredictable on one of the episodes. I also like the way they treated her with dignity and allowed her liberties to roam. If you haven't seen this show, it's worth the time, but it is probably best to not binge as it is a drama and you'll probably get burnt out after 3 consecutive hours of watching. I'm late to the party but hopefully this review will help others who like to be fashionably late too.
Serenity (2005)
Filled the void Star Wars left behind before & after Fox was sold to the mouse.
Read a review from 2006 that claims that this is what Star Wars prequels should have looked like. I couldn't agree more. All the Star Wars that came after the original three were simply cash grab. Had Fox marketed the Firefly t.v. Series, Serenity would have been unnecessary and we'd have probably ten seasons of Firefly. Anyhow, I was curious about this movie but always forget to look for it when I'm in search for a film to watch, until now. I've been advised to watch Firefly first, but for what it's worth, Serenity can be watched as a stand alone film as in is pretty straight forward in the story telling - doesn't get bogged down with character intro because the pacing is well thought out. I discovered for myself that watching the t.v. Series first would have allowed me to score this lower as there are a couple of integral t.v. Characters that didn't have much screen time in the movie. I watched Serenity first. If you watch both Serenity and Firefly, you will not clamour for another (typically awful) Star Wars movie.
Lights Out (2016)
Frighteningly comical
This movie is about a lesbian ghost. Need I say more? Ok, let me expand. The movie later explained the ghost's ambitions. It kills off all of Sophie's spouses. It explicitly tells young Rebecca via crayon drawings how it desires to replace one of her parental figures. The ghost selfishly wants Sophie to herself. I can't wait to refer to this movie when getting drunk with my lesbian friends - the love triangle made the movie unintentionally comical. Other reviews of this movie mentioned that the opening scene is funny; it is hilarious. Another very funny scene is when Rebecca's toyfriend, excuse me, boyfriend abandons her and Martin after getting a scare from the ghost only to return with sacrificial lambs (two cops). I have to say I recall avoiding this movie years ago because is the silly previews. I recently selected this movie unwittingly, then shortly remembered why I avoided before. I would score this higher because it was entertaining, but there are too many plot holes that I can't overlook. Is this something you should watch? Sure. It's a good laugh.
Soul Plane (2004)
"D" "O" double "G" should be enough description to make you want to
Watch this movie. Seen it decades ago, and forgotten how funny it is. Re-watched this movie and enjoyed how it is to be. Anyone who thought this was offensive doesn't understand the era, the L. A. culture, nor the cast. Early 2000s was the era that idolized the lifestyle especially by the 'wannabe suburbs kids'. Every fella wanted to be playa, thug, hard, with bling. If Snoop Dogg isn't enough to make you want to watch this, you must be of the same company of people who watch every Tom Hanks movie and think he deserves another award for his latest performance. Yes this movie is a bit childish with plenty of close to R rated material, so the target demographic is definitely not geared toward the female audiences. Story is light as it is mostly there as a vessel for the skits by very funny stand up comedians. If anything else, just play it on the background while busy with other task; you'll catch a few Snoop quotes and probably bust out laughing.
Rome (2005)
It's now 2023 and so glad people are still discovering this show and posting reviews.
I've seen the first season a few years back and thought that was the way I wanted a good show to end. Came across the second season and decided to take a gamble on destroying my opinion on the series. Glad I took the chance. Most one hour shows loose steam after two seasons, so I'm glad this one ended at two. Both seasons were near perfect in terms of balancing entertainment and history. Reading up more about the characters on 'Britanica' after watching the series made me understand that the few artistic liberties taken by the production were strategic to keep viewers interested and I'm happy they did for the sake of non-Roman history buffs like myself. How good is this show without the guide of stars? It made me want to know more about the characters enough to do outside research - long reads on Britanica.
The Company (2003)
Not a documentary but probably closer
To reality than most reality TV shows. Unless you are in the industry, entertainment value for this movie is probably a one star out of ten. If you were hoping more of either Never or Franco, this is a two star out of ten. If you were intrigued by what insiders experience, this is probably an eighth star out of ten; which justify the generous three star. The movie had little meaningful dialogues. In fact there are plenty of scenes devoid of dialogues. I would judge this movie to be in the same category as ballet show filmed for educational purposes with intermissions. Movie is good in a way because it didn't try to impress with amazing stunts or heavy drama. Movie is bad because it didn't have any memorable character(s), conflict, nor a defining scene. Skip this unless you like ballet (or forced to watch by significant other).
Fay Grim (2006)
Timely execution of lines
By Parker and the rest of the cast made me like this movie more that I thought I would. I stumbled upon this movie by accident. It is a comedy that will not shove you off your seat with stomach crunching laughter but is a comedy that catches you off guard. There are scenes of seriousness that is playfully turned in to comedy. Jokes are not cerebral but there are a few instances where my brain will be processing character interactions then a minute later realize how bizarre and funny that scene was. I don't think I've like any characters that Jeff plays in other movies (Nine months, Jurassic, ID4), but he is perfect in this movie. I learned through other reviews that this is the second installment of a trilogy, so now I have to go hunting for a 'Henry Rifle' - "Henry Fool", the first movie, and "Ned Rifle", the third movie. Watch it, or not; but if you do, you'll be part of the 'cool kids' who enjoy searching out things that aren't so mainstream.
Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023)
Visually stunning, but its all been done before.
This is a CGI, greenscreen heavy type of movie. I can only stand to watch for 30 minutes of this before tuning out (I was already struggling at 20 min). I understand that the setting is something of a different world, but its just nauseating, weird, tripping on acid type of strange world. I love all the actors as they are not given enough credit to use their imaginations as they interact with an empty space that is suppose to be an organism of some sort. The action scenes makes me even less invested in the movie as there is no real sense of danger. Like most super hero movies, they are very predictable. I'm sure I'm not within the target demographic of this movie and it's my fault for thinking it can be enjoyable for all ages. This is a kids movie that was intended to excite wonder and imagination so I will encourage anyone else over the age of 9 to skip this one.
Killing Eve (2018)
I heard good things, so I gave it a try.
I'm glad I did so I can type a review. Granted I can only bare to watch 4 episodes, I feel that it's sufficient enough to grade this TV show. I wanted to like this show but there are a few things I cannot get over. First thing that I can't get over is Sandra's Acting (or not acting). I haven't seen her in any other production so I'm unaware of her abilities but in this show, she just reminds me of typical boomer Asian American professional such as a dentist, dental hygienist, internal med doc or an executive assistant; nothing about her acting convinces me she works as an intelligence analyst. Maybe that's a good thing because spies want to blend in. Nevertheless, I'm not sold. Secondly, Eve's previous male superiors do not posses tact. I would believe that anyone in the field of intelligence gathering is able to carry and use weapons adequately. Thirdly, (this is what irritates me the most) is that I was led to believe that this show is a dark comedy. This is neither dark nor comedy. The comic reliefs after each tragedy does not qualify this to be a comedy. Comic reliefs in theaters/plays/movies are there to bring back the audience to baseline; it is not there entertain in the same capacity as a comedic show. An example of a dark comedy in my definition is something like a scene from 'Snatch' where one of the character's passing was so outrageous that its funny - I believe Boris the butcher was the character who was bound, had a sack over heard, disoriented from an accident, climbs out of the trunk, walked like a chicken feeling his way through the street, gets run over by a car that just moments earlier had windshield visibility compromised. I recommend watching 'Killing Eve' so you can have your own input and perhaps help bring this high rating down closer to what it really is - an enjoyable 4/10.
Insidious: The Red Door (2023)
10, 9, 8, zzzzzzzzzz
This movie lacks depth. It was so predictable. I found myself laughing when ever a character starts a count down. Am not exactly sure how fine arts professors teach, but I hardly believe that they would count down as if it is a race that students set their marks ready set go. Moreover the instructor in this movie didn't really have insightful instructions on how to produce art. Besides the mainstay characters, all the new characters seem to over act their part. You can watch this movie just so you can say you did complete the franchise. In my book, the whole story of the franchise started with one and ended at two. The movie characters will begin to count down from 10 but you'll never get to 7 as you doze off faster than the effects of an anesthesia administered.
Westworld (1973)
Probably the target of the satire movie Blazing Saddles
This movie was decades well before it's time. Like most sci-fi horror movies (Space Odessey 2001, Ex-machina, Alien, The Terminator, list goes on), it attempts to warn us of the pending catastrophe when humans rely on automation to satisfy both needs and wants. This movie warns us of A. I. before the general public is even aware of the concept. Yul Brynner is convincing as a menacing robot in this movie. The pacing is exactly what to expect for a movie made during this era. It is worth the watch to use as reference as most of the newer generations seem to be convinced that proof of concept only occurred after the invention of the smart phone. I score this movie highly because of its practical effects and originality.