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Maestro (2023)
Failed Glorification of A Vile Man
Bernstein was a serial sexual predator who shamelessly prayed on the young men he taught through his roles as mentor and professor. He was a drunken, drug addicted self-righteous pompous jerk who abandoned his family for years at a time. His talent was great but was hampered by his craven selfishness and immorality. Maestro shows some but not nearly enough of this and attempts to paint the man as a brilliant artist who should be forgiven his flaws by the lesser creatures surrounding him.
Bradley Cooper's direction is schizophrenic. Maestro starts out as a straight forward linear story but wildly swerves off into bizarre musical fantasies and interminably long gulfs of pointless dialogue that lead nowhere and do nothing in furtherance of the main narrative.
Why are we celebrating the life of a horrible man, the Kevin Spacey of the music world? Throughout the film Bernstein laments his limited output as a composer and the mediocre quality of works that he finished after the huge successes of Candide and West Side Story. Did it not occur to him to clean himself up, enter rehab and get off the booze, drugs and sex train that had become his life?
Bradley Cooper and Carey Mulligan both turn in stunning performances as Leonard and Felicia. That being said, this is a sad attempt to whitewash the life of someone who is in no way deserving of our admiration and certainly not our respect.
Carol & The End of the World (2023)
Painfully Slow and Pretentious
Did I mention this series is painfully slow and pretentious? It is also preachy, boring and intelligence-insulting. Rarely have I seen such a messy mass of negative traits and flaws gathered in one place.
A huge rogue planet is on a collision course with Earth giving humanity a few months to do whatever the hell they want to do with their remaining time. Almost everybody quits their jobs, many decide to go naked full-time and many more decide to party non-stop with booze and drugs. But not Carol, she stays the course of dullness.
Carol is a middle-aged woman with no ambition. She is deeply unhappy with her life which she has totally screwed up but she really just doesn't care enough to change it. She doesn't like people but for some strange reason some people seem to like her and try to help her but of course Carol treats them like crap and retreats to her tiny tidy world.
She doesn't care that everyone will soon die, everyone including herself. She just plods on, going to her mind-numbingly dull job, shopping for groceries and watching crap on TV.
Of course through the course of its agonizingly dull episodes, Carol begins to enjoy life a little. So here comes the preachy part, life is pretty cool, enjoy it. Duh!
The premise of the series is intriguing and with better writers it could have been great. When I say it's dull I mean it's SO DULL you end up rooting for the killer planet just in order to have a little bit of action and to end this horrific show. A typical half-hour episode features 22 minutes of pointless internal dialogue, like Carol wondering aloud if she should put on her shoes or Carol wondering if she really likes her parents or Carol wondering why she is Carol.
Life is too short for this nonsense. If you thought Waiting for Godot was a wild and wacky fast moving laugh a minute thrill ride then Carol & The End of the World is just the show for you, enjoy!
Somewhere Boy (2022)
Good Show But Many Plot Holes
Overall I enjoyed the series. The acting, dialogue, direction and photography were all well above average. The relationship between Danny, the somewhere boy of the title, and the people he encounters is fascinating. His relationships with his cousin Aaron and his aunt Sue are realistic and in need of expansion, maybe in season two, if there is one?
However, the overall writing seems rushed and not always well thought out. Take for example the house Danny and his dad Steve call home.
There were several exterior establishing shots throughout, depicting a very large and presumably expensive home. How did Steve afford this? He doesn't work and he plainly does not come from a wealthy family or his sister Sue would have money as well.
Say he managed to buy the house outright before he went nuts, how does he pay for the utilities and property taxes? Electricity, water and gas are not cheap, neither are taxes and Steve has no visible income. How does he pay for the upkeep and gasoline for his motor bike and car? How does he pay for food?
It was established that Steve buys food from Tesco although he tells Danny he gets it from hunting and scavenging. Didn't Danny notice all the food was fresh and came in brand new packaging? Where did the fresh milk come from he enjoys?
How does Steve explain where Danny's clothes come from? During the series he goes from a small child to a grown man, meaning he must have required new clothes and shoes quite often. Does Steve get them from the monsters? Were they all wearing brand new clothes in just the right sizes for a growing boy? What about underpants? How does he explain where all the new underpants came from? And socks?
Danny is depicted as a very bright person, he never wondered about any of this?
Logical flaws aside I still enjoyed it. Maybe if there is another season they can fill out some of the back stories and explain all the holes.
Krapopolis (2023)
Shockingly Bad
My mouth was literally hanging open in astonishment after the first 5 minutes of this aptly named piece of Krapopolis. That's how incredibly bad this show is, shame on you Dan Harmon for trading on your hits (like the wonderful Rick & Morty) in order to sell this garbage to a network. The jokes are never ending and never funny. The humor is at best childish and the sort of thing you're likely to hear on a middle school playground, full of references to bodily functions and sex written by idiots who understand neither. The show is crude, stupid, dumbed down to the point of absurdity and above all, not funny. Krapopolis truly deserves it name.
White Noise (2022)
Pretentious Mess
Pretentious becasue it is full of awful academic jokes that could have been written by a freshman at a very bad college.
Over acting on the part of Driver that borders on stupidity.
Ignores its own premise.
Tries to be hip, poking fun at religion, academics, society at large, and of course pretentious Hollywood movies.
I gave it two stars instead of 1 because the teenage kids were funny and decent actors.
I like the lead actors, especially Adam Driver so I thought this had to be pretty good, right? Man, was I wrong! There is no subtlety to the attempted satire, they just hit you over the head with it until you wish the film would end soon. The movie as a whole reminds me of something you would see at 2:00 a.m. At a hipster film festival or as an experimental theater piece at a 15th-rate community college.
In a word, bad!
Asteroid City (2023)
Weird Wonderful Color Drenched Dream
Anything set in the 1950s is immediately worth watching. You have to love a decade where every adult smokes and drinks constantly and every kid is suffering from full-on outer space fever. Weirdos are on the TV, Elvis is on the radio, and cars are kings of the highway. Wes Anderson takes his fondness for this wacky time to the max in Asteroid City. The film is shot in super saturated pseudo technicolor that is reminiscent of the picture on a very early color television with the brightness knob turned all the way up.
There are so many great actors in this thing it is mind boggling. Each one has a seemingly minor role but they proceed to act the heck out of it, including Tom Hanks as an obnoxious retiree who dislikes his own grandchildren. Bryan Cranston turns up as a dour TV host who drips sarcasm as he raves about a talentless drunk who wrote an incomprehensible play called Asteroid City. Jason Schwartzman is the only one who has more than a few minutes of screen time and is perfect in his role as Augie, a shell shocked war photographer.
He loves his kids, maybe. Augie eventually confesses his original plan to abandon them and take off by himself to parts unknown. He actually seems puzzled when the kids are horrified. "I said I changed my mind!"
Jake Ryan is notable as the obnoxiously smart 14-year-old, Woodrow. Just when you think this film doesn't have a serious bone in its body, he has a moving moment with another teen space cadet, the emotionally wounded Clifford.
Clifford's father does not like him very much and is resentful of having to spend time with him. As a result, the boy begs people to dare him to perform dangerous stunts. Alone with him one night in the desert, Woodrow asks Clifford why he does such idiotic and dangerous things.
For a brief moment Clifford lets down his guard and tells Woody it might be because he wants desperately to fit in, to find love and acceptance and above all to find a way to respect himself before it's too late. He knows he will have an unhappy life but desperately wants to be happy anyway. He wishes his father loved him, he wishes he could make friends with other kids and he wishes he could feel like he belonged somewhere, anywhere. Clifford is instantly transformed from a goofy jackass to a sensitive and very sad kid. It was one of the best moments in the film. Then it's back to the absurdity that is Asteroid City.
A huge shout out to Preston Mota as Dwight, a cigarette smoking, beer drinking 12-year-old who performs a laugh out loud, over the top, hilarious song and dance number called Dear Alien (Who Art in Heaven).
Anderson and his wonderful cast and crew hold a mirror up to our modern 21st Century lives through the lens of a silly bygone era. We might not chain smoke and guzzle hard liquor like they did but we do have problems loving our kids at times, putting up with moronic pop media fads, and just enduring the ordinary trials and tribulations of daily life. It's not hard to understand. Asteroid City is simply a raucous celebration of life as we know it, displayed in gaudy over exposed color and funny, flawed but worthwhile characters.
My takeaway is this, life is tough and all of us will be dead before we know it, so let's enjoy the weird ride we are on and dance the Spaceman Howdly-Doo as joyously as Dwight. Thank you, Wes Anderson for a wonderful film.
The Crown (2016)
Season 5 Tanked (Rating is for S5 Only)
After 4 seasons of brilliant acting and storytelling, season 5 was a bitter disappointment. I kept hoping that the mediocrity displayed in the first few episodes was the result of the new major cast members getting their bearings. Nope.
Each S5 episode languished in needlessly long and tortured dialogue that left me bored, very bored. While some of the storylines promised excitement like Ipatiev House, the viewer's interest was soon extinguished, buried under a pile of pointless conversations that droned on incessantly.
About the cast, Dominic West is the most un-Charles like actor imaginable. He is simply awful in the role and comes off as a complete idiot. Imelda Staunton as the Queen is also mis-cast. She is a fine actor but just so very wrong in this role. Her Elizabeth comes off as a moronic cold fish who needs her grandson to explain not all television comes from the BBC and how to change the channel on the royal TV.
Two cast members were however absolutely brilliant. Jonathan Pryce as Philip actually makes the man likeable, which is not an easy task! Elizabeth Debicki as Diana is beyond brilliant, she so nails the part you can easily imagine you are watching old footage of the actual person. Well done, both!
Let's all hope for a better Season 6 but I for one am not holding my breath.
Nope (2022)
Different Kind of Story
While I appreciate Jordan Peele's highly original script the film has some serious problems. It can't seem to figure out if it wants to be a serious sci-fi movie, a cheap horror film, or a David Lynch-type weirdo fest.
Steven Yeun's character seems to belong to a different movie as does the bizarre flashbacks to a homicidal chimpanzee that apparently murdered everyone except Yeun's character on the set of a children's TV show. The main characters, a brother and sister obviously have deep seated problems with each other but that is never explored. The goofy kid from the electronics store is condescending and an insult to the intelligence of the protagonists.
Given the name Jean Jacket, the UFO/space alien/monster is straight out of H. P. Lovecraft's Cthulhu mythos. It seems to be a living being that scoops up everything in it path, devouring the organic bits (like people) and spitting out the rest.
The logical inconsistencies pile up quickly and in the end, the monster is destroyed by a giant cartoon character balloon that explodes when Jean Jacket tries to eat it. Whaaaat? This thing can chew up cars and trucks with no problem but a helium filled balloon blows it up? Like I said, logical problems abound in this film.
I truly like Jordan Peele's film making. He is the most original talent to surface in Hollywood in quite some time and I wish him well in his career. Nope, however is not his best work. A swing and a miss from Mr. Peele. Better luck next time.
The Reflecting Skin (1990)
Weird, Gross, Bizarre and Very Good
Endless wheat fields artificially tinted a lurid yellow are the backdrop for this surreal film dealing with a small boy's bizarre circumstances. Seth Dove is a precocious 8-year old with a burning curiosity and an imagination that borders on insanity. His universe is no larger than the distance he can comfortably walk in a single afternoon, maybe a couple of miles. His father is a drunk and accused child molester and his mother is certifiably nuts. Seth adores his much older brother Cameron, who made it out of the wretched family to serve in the military but is due to return shortly and in the boy's mind save him from his horrible existence.
During the course of the film we meet Dolphin Blue, a widow, possibly a witch, who lives nearby in a falling down house that was once a showpiece. Seth is convinced the addle-brained woman is a vampire and despises her. Soon, local boys around Seth's age start to disappear and are later found molested and murdered. The local sheriff and his sadistic deputy of course zero in on Luke Dove (Seth's dad) because he once had a same-sex affair with a young farmhand. They completely ignore the obvious suspects, a band of greasy haired hoodlums who follow around the local little boys in their Cadillac, making blatantly sexual remarks while offering them rides.
All of Seth's friends are eventually murdered, his father kills himself in front of him and big brother Cameron finally returns but is a stunning disappointment. He rejects Seth completely, even engaging in sex with the hated Dolphin Blue as the boy watches.
The Reflecting Skin has elements of Waiting for Godot, namely the protagonist Seth remains hopeful that someone will arrive and save him. Unfortunately, the boy's Godot, his brother Cameron, actually does show up and promptly rejects him, causing Seth to go quite literally mad. Think of it as Godot with a better ending. Writer and director Philip Ridley, who is known for bizarre films (The Passion of Darkly Noon, Heartless), delivered a masterpiece of the weird but with deep and worthy themes.
The very nature of existence, happiness, and childhood are ruthlessly examined amidst a wonderland of horror, revulsion, and bitter disappointment. Don't be put off by the gross-out scenes (Seth repeatedly plays with a mummified aborted fetus he keeps under his bed, for example) and stick with a worthy and very thought provoking film to the end.
Halloween Ends (2022)
Never Mind the Rest He Misused an RE20!
Willy The Kid was shown with an Electro-Voice RE20 microphone pointing straight down and talking into the vents running down the side. Wrong! This is the best professional cardioid dynamic mic ever made and has been used by voice professionals for over 50 years, and all of them talked into the end, not the side. The result would have been Willy sounding like he was talking from Mars, the microphone simply does not work that way. This was laughably funny to anyone who had ever been inside a radio station or recording studio.
The RE20 was just one more example of things they got horribly wrong in this film. I also thought the band bullies were pretty laughable, everyone knows band nerds are the baddest asses in any high school!
The Sun Comes Up (1949)
Claude Jarman, Jr. Was Great Child Actor
I stumbled upon this movie on TCM and saw one of the stars was Claude Jarman, Jr from The Yearling. I had seen that movie on TV when I was very young but I was deeply moved by Jaman's emotional and very natural performance. This film was also an adaptation of a Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings story and since it had the kid from The Yearling, I thought it must be worth watching.
There is an amazing cast from Jeanette McDonald to Percy Kilbride to Margaret Hamilton to Lassie! The only one I wanted to see however was Jarman, who played an emotionally wounded orphan boy named Jerry. About 20 minutes into the film, here comes Jarman, 3 years older than he was in The Yearling, all arms and legs and awkward as only a young teenage boy can be, both physically and emotionally. I was not disappointed by his performance which was every bit as natural as his role in The Yearling.
Jarman was not a stereotypical pretty boy, he had average looks and bordered on odd looking when he was older so I wondered what made him so popular as a child actor. After watching this film, I am convinced his appeal lay in his overwhelming believability. During both The Sun Comes Up and The Yearling, I had the sense I was watching a boy that could have lived next door, or down the street, or gone to school with, not a Hollywood actor.
Although the story here was sappy and predictable, Jarman handled it well. When he lied about having a mother, you could see the inner turmoil in his eyes, when he broke down and cried when he thought he had been abandoned by McDonald's character, you wanted to weep with him and in fact I did. I managed to find some clips of his later performances. He made 11 films in all and in every scene I saw, he brought with him an amazing emotional depth and genuineness which is extremely rare in young performers.
Here's to one of the great child actors who has sadly been almost forgotten today. When you have a chance to see one of his performances, please do so, and just enjoy Claude Jarman, Jr doing his thing, namely just being a boy.
Julia (2022)
Awesome
I grew up in a house where my mother could not literally boil water and my father's idea of fine dining was turkey in a tin foil tray and a cold beer. Luckily, our local PBS station ran reruns of The French Chef when I was growing up in the 1980s and I fell in love with the idea that food was fun! I also fell madly in love with Julia Child, who was everything my family was not: sophisticated, educated, classy and joyously in love with life.
Sarah Lancashire nails Julia from the start. She is big, brassy, loud, and defies anyone not to like her. If they don't, she shoves Mousse au Chocolat framboise in their face until they submit. David Hyde Pierce is brilliant as always, playing Julia's husband and love of her life, Paul Child.
There are a few historical oddities and a few liberties taken with the story. I don't care! Julia captures the essence of a magnificent life force who is still remembered as a brilliant person nearly 60 years after the debut of her no-budget little show on educational TV that became a world-wide phenom. I love you Julia. Bon Appétit!
Guy's Chance of a Lifetime (2022)
Blatant Ego Trip
This show is nothing more than an extended commercial for Guy Fieri's latest business venture, the Chicken Guy Fast food chain. It is also a sad case of the once proud Food Network bowing down to the monstrous ego of it's number one star.
The competition portion of each episode purports to pit top "chefs" against each other like so many other foodie shows including Guy's Grocery Games and Chopped. However those shows have real chefs who display real talent. The Chicken Guy contestants are tasked with putting together meals from pre-made, pre-proportioned food items from a fixed menu. The only skill required is being able to read the order. The average 10-year old pulled from the street could easily do this.
We are also treated to the shameful display of some of the Food Network's biggest celebrity chefs like Antonia Lofaso being forced to judge fast food fries and sandwiches like they were actual food cooked by an actual chef. Antonia actually raved about how crispy the fries were, duh! They were made by a machine on a timer, they were precut, frozen, and dunked in hot oil for exactly the right amount of time according to the Chicken Guy handbook.
Food Network needs to reign in Fieri and cancel this abomination of a show and quit pretending it is anything other than an obnoxiously long commercial for a crappy restaurant. They also need to stop Guy from forcing his son Hunter onto every single show on which Fieri appears. Hunter's a nice kid but with zero talent as a host or judge.
My prediction is the Chicken Guy franchise will die of natural causes within 2 years, just like dozens of other Guy Fieri business ventures. The food, by the way, looks horrible and I would not eat at one of these restaurants on a bet.
Invasion (2021)
Slow, Slow, Slow!
Here we have a pretty good plot, competent actors, above average writers, directors, cinematographers and technical people so I have to ask. What happened to the pacing?
It literally takes the entire first 6 episodes for any confirmation that Earth is indeed under attack and even then we are not really sure! A typical episode involves a minor story line which is explored ad nauseam and is then abandoned.
A group of kids go over a cliff in their bus and the survivors spend not one, not two, but major parts of FOUR episodes debating whether or not to stay put at the crash site or go for help. All the while whinging on with teenage angst about perceived social slights. Meanwhile people are dying all over the planet. You would think the story worth exploring is the fact that martial law enabled troops are suddenly taking over everywhere while weird debris and chunks of satellites rain down upon the planet destroying cities and humans in their wake.
But apparently what the producers deem more important are the exploits of depressed12 year-old idiots, a serial philanderer of a husband, a runaway wife and mom, a gay Japanese space administrator, and an American soldier who couldn't find his way out of the proverbial paper bag.
At first I cared about the various characters but the kids are self-centered twits that I am now hoping will all die horrible deaths at the hands (or tentacles) of the invaders, should they actually appear. Same goes for the cheating husband and dad, Japanese space lady and GI Joe. OMG I hate them all!
Invasion is a tremendous waste of resources and above all a ridiculous waste of time. It is agonizingly slow paced, dull and takes itself way to seriously.
Finch (2021)
Goofy Robot, Adorable Dog, and a Nice Old Man, but It Works!
Yes, this was a custom made vehicle for Tom Hanks, who is brilliant, but the star of the film is the awkward robot/AI named Jeff, played to perfection by Caleb Landry Jones and a host of puppeteers and special effects wizards.
Finch is dying of what appears to be late stage lung cancer. He is a lonely old man who never married, had kids, or any significant relationships. He rescues a puppy named Goodyear from certain death and then becomes obsessed with providing for his welfare after he dies, which will be soon. To that end he creates a cobbled together monstrosity who names himself Jeff for no reason other than he likes the way it sounds.
The main body of the film concerns Finch and his rag-tag family which also includes Dewey, an earlier robot, and their quest to reach San Francisco. The destination seems arbitrary but Finch agrees to it in order to get them out of the blighted area where they had been sheltering, a blasted post-apocalyptic St. Louis.
The heart of the film is Jeff's development which closely mimics that of a human boy growing from child, to teen, to finally a young adult. He is often disobedient, not a good trait for a 7-foot tall creature with significant tonnage. He is overly remorseful and has to be told repeatedly to stop apologizing, just learn from your mistakes and move on, a conversation I have had with my own son more than once.
For most of the journey Jeff's persona is that of a teenager. When he asks to be taught to drive, Finch says he's not ready. Jeff sneaks off and drives anyway because what teenager can resist a set of keys and a quick joy ride when dad isn't looking? In a heartbreaking adventure gone bad, Jeff and Goodyear set off exploring a new city while dad is asleep. Jeff finds a fur lined jacket he falls in love with and puts it on ignoring the obvious signs of danger. As a result, his robot brother Dewey is destroyed. Jeff is despondent, Finch is furious, and Goodyear is frightened. But Jeff still has his beloved jacket which he wears proudly although he knows it is ridiculous.
In the end Finch is hopeful if not exactly confident Jeff and Goodyear will be just fine after his death, which comes suddenly. Jeff grieves the old man's death but mindful of his instructions, he moves on with Goodyear in tow.
There are those who have branded this film as overly sentimental, saccharine sweet, and nauseatingly sappy. On a certain level they are right, but on a deeper level, Finch is a wonderful exploration of what it means to be truly human.
Dracula (1931)
A Masterpiece
I finally sat down and watched this film undisturbed from start to finish on TCM. Over the years I had seen bits and pieces on regular TV and I never thought much of it. But watching it whole, as it was meant to be seen changed my opinion of the film to say the least. I absolutely loved it!
There is one weird plot change from the Stoker novel, otherwise it's pretty dead-on to the source material. Renfield the madman is given Jonathan Harker's role as the solicitor who visits the Count in Transylvania to close the deal on his London property. Once back in England, all the characters are as they are in the novel.
Here is an amazing thing: there is absolutely no gore in this film. The story, as horrifying as it is, is told with a light hand and the viewer is allowed to imagine the grotesque abominations taking place just off camera. The special effects are limited to a bat flying around on a tether.
Karl Freund was the brilliant cinematographer who was wisely left alone by director Tod Browning to do his thing. The result is some of the best black and white photography I have ever witnessed. There is one scene that gave me chills and stuck with me for its sheer beauty. This is where Dracula stands in the open double doors leading to the terrace at Dr. Seward's residence. Lugosi is in full form with his arms and cape fully extended as the fog creeps in from outside. It sneaks in, not in a rush, but subtly, until you can actually see tendrils of vapor emerge from the shadows and advance toward the camera and eventually filling the room. All the while Dracula is stock still, glaring at the frightened people inside. Good stuff!
This film works as a horror story. It also works as a critique of modern society. One of the Count's best speeches is when he reminds Van Helsing of the matter of fact way people in the past accepted death as merely a part of life. To them, a vampire was as ordinary as a wild animal, and just as dangerous. Dr. Van Helsing and his ilk, with their test tubes and textbooks and scientific method seek to banish vampirism and the supernatural from the modern world. A fact Dracula finds laughable as much as it is impossible.
Do yourself a favor and watch this film undisturbed and preferably at night and in a dark room. It is beautifully made and in my opinion a glorious work of art.
Malcolm in the Middle (2000)
Stayed On For Five Years Too Many!
Seasons 1 and 2 are nothing short of brilliant. Season 3 is still very good but things go downhill rapidly beginning with season 4. The final 3 seasons are pathetically bad, especially when compared to the brilliance of the first 41 episodes (seasons 1 and 2). Two of the things Malcolm got very right and thankfully stayed with throughout the entire run was single camera shooting and the absence of a laugh track. It added to the undercurrent of reality and made the viewer feel a part of the family, no matter how dysfunctional they may have been.
Here's what they got wrong and what untimely destroyed their show, they forgot who their characters were at their core. They betrayed what made them likably unique and completely dumbed down the storylines to the point of absurdity and turned an intelligent comedy into childish slapstick.
Malcolm, played by Frankie Muniz who was arguably the best kid actor of his time, degenerated into a complete disaster. Malcolm's character went from a very bright, very sweet and adorable child to a horrible, conceited, hateful train wreck of a human whom you wanted to see die a horrible death.
Reese, played by the equally talented Justin Berfield, went from a cute, playful, fun-loving and extremely mischievous boy to an obnoxious drooling idiot whose IQ dropped by 50 points in each of the season 6 and 7 episodes.
Lois, played by the fantastic Jane Kaczmarek, goes from a stern but loving mom to a complete lunatic of a mom-o-saurus who should have been locked up.
Hal, played by one of the best actors of our time, Bryan Cranston, goes from a lovable buffoon but still very much a loving and caring husband and dad to a pathetic, crying, wallowing in self-pity, selfish jackass.
All of these characters have this in common. They went from likable to someone you hated and seriously wanted to see suffer a very, very, bad end. And one final mistake, they brought in a new kid. How many times have we seen a failing sitcom inject a baby into the mix in hope of breathing fresh life into a dying show? It was the final insult for me and I stopped watching shortly after the introduction of Jamie. I did however go back and watch all of the episodes in syndication/streaming no matter how painful they were in order to comment on the series as a whole.
Had Malcolm been axed after season 2, I'm sure it would have gone down as a landmark, ground breaking, and much beloved sitcom much like Freaks and Geeks. Instead, Malcolm in the Middle is remembered today as a less than mediocre show that stayed on way past its prime and lost its core audience.
My favorite quote is delivered by Malcolm in Season 1, Episode 1. "You want to know the best part about childhood? At some point, it stops."
The same can be said of TV shows that stick around far too long.
Sweet Tooth (2021)
Good At First But Goes Downhill Quickly
Episodes 1 through 3 are very good. They are clever, well written and well acted. Episodes 4 through 8 however are pretty wretched and seem to have been produced by an entirely different crew. With a modicum of suspension of disbelief, the highly original plot takes off and soars, at least for a while. In episode 4, it crashes hard and by episode 8, the series is a smoldering pile of good intentions and lost opportunities.
Sweet Tooth uses every cliched trope and meme it could steal. How many times and we seen these before?
- Dystopian future dominated by thugs, bandits, murderers, and lunatics
- A band of barely adolescent kids who constantly outwit the evil adults
- The reluctant hero who constantly threatens to leave but never does
- Mad scientists who murder children in the name of pseudo-science
- The sweet, innocent and optimistic child everyone loves because he's so
I'm rating this 3 stars, one for each of the good episodes. I got the distinct impression that what we have here, more than anything else, is a case of being signed by Netflix to produce 8 episodes although they only had material for less than half that many.
Saturday Night Live: Paul Simon/Randy Newman/Phoebe Snow (1975)
Worst SNL Ever!
It was wall to wall Paul Simon with a quick song by Randy Newman. The music was good but there is only so much Paul Simon anyone can take. The VERY unfunny basketball bit was dreadful, we get it, Simon is short.
This was a sad follow-up to episode one which featured the great George Carlin and the full Not Ready for Prime Time players. It was well balanced and VERY funny!
Paul Simon was in every musical number except the one by Randy Newman and was in every non-musical bit except for the Muppets sketch which was horrible and not worthy of the Henson brand.
This was not SNL, it was some kind of blatant demo or pilot for a Paul Simon variety show on NBC. It was horrible.
The Conners (2018)
Real Family for Real Times
Thank God for the Conners! We finally have a show that realistically depicts working class folks as something other than ignorant racist drunken slobs. Not that there's anything wrong with that (hahaha).
American families cover a wide range of political views and beliefs and there are just as many "libs" raising their kids the best they can as there are conservatives. This show depicts kindness across political and ethical boundaries and shows what 99.99% of people want to do: raise their kids and live their lives in peace.
Awesome cast, awesome acting, awesome direction, in all an awe-inspiring TV show. Long may the Conners live!
Chopped: Alton's Maniacal Baskets: Part 1 (2021)
Not Very Maniacal
This review is for the entire 5-part series.
Oh man I love watching Alton Brown. From the various incarnations of Good Eats, through all the weird stuff he has produced for the Food Network and others he is always smart, funny, informative, and genuinely entertaining. Until now.
I also love Chopped, so I was eager to see this limited series. I was confident he would lay waste to the aspiring contestants with ingredients from hell. Instead, the much hyped maniacal baskets were really pretty tame and might easily have been included in an ordinary edition of Chopped without raising an eyebrow.
I was also disappointed in Alton's demeanor and the schtick of using the so called maniacal ingredients suggested by a fan, who then made an appearance via social media. It all seemed forced and well, not very Altonish. I am convinced he was hampered by the producers of Chopped, who can be a bit on the demanding side and will stop at nothing to protect their brand, even if it means a less than thrilling final product.
Let Alton be Alton, I say! Let the man be maniacal if that's what you promised. This series was flat and yes, boring, and Alton Brown was done a disservice.
Monsterland: Eugene, Oregon (2020)
Charlie Tahan Is Fun To Watch But ...
Charlie Tahan is great as the troubled teenager Nick. But the story and the rest of the cast are not so good. In fact, the story and direction are moronic.
Members of Nick's online discussion group appear to be in his room and interacting with him directly. It's a clever device but it is over used and becomes confusing and after a while, just plain stupid.
Yes, the story can be interpreted as a warning about a susceptible person becoming radicalized online. Nick is a sweet kid who is basically bullied into doing something he definitely does not want to do, at all! But he gives into the pressure and becomes Rambo, Jr.
I stayed with it because I genuinely cared for Nick and wanted to see if he ever found some peace in the world. No one knows because the story simply stops with no conclusion or even a hint at resolution. Did they run out of money and just wrapped with what they had?
Disappointing at best, stupid, derivative, sophomoric, and idiotic at worst. Charlie, you should have passed on this one, buddy!
Buddy vs. Duff (2019)
Are Producers Afraid of Buddy?
This is still an enjoyable show but Buddy's behavior is hard to take, even well into season 3. It seems everyone is afraid Buddy will throw a tantrum, especially members of his own team. He always makes digs about Duff and no one stands up to him. At every judging, Buddy will imply that Team Duff somehow cheated or lied. Are the producers afraid he'll walk if someone tells him he is acting like a spoiled brat?
My favorite episode was when Buddy and Duff were both banned from the kitchens and only their teams competed. Everyone was friendly and respectful. Both teams by the way have amazing pastry chefs and artists and I enjoy watching them create.
I strongly feel that Duff is the better artist and I think Buddy feels threatened by his younger and much more chill rival.
Mysterious Skin (2004)
Powerful Story Well Worth Telling
Many people hate this film because of its subject matter, child rape. Sad to say it is a reality and the victims need to have their stories heard. Two small town boys were both raped by their beloved baseball coach, a serial predator who has abused dozens of boys in his career.
Neil is a broken young man who manages to cope with his hurt in all the worst ways possible, but keeps himself alive and moving forward and has hope for a brighter future. Brian has been utterly destroyed by his past. He is the victim of delusions that border on insanity. He is dysfunctional and will not, it seems, ever be a contributing member of society much less a happy human being.
Neil and Brian accidently reunite as adults and discover their shared secret and help each other cope. There are minor flaws in the story telling, the direction was not the best nor was the editing. But for a low budget effort, it delivers a powerful and truthful examination of lives ruined by the predators amongst us. Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Neil is brilliant and his performance makes Mysterious Skin well worth watching, even if it does make you uneasy.
Eerie, Indiana (1991)
Close to Perfect
Here you have a "young adult" TV show but it's the creation of the brilliant minds of Jose Rivera and Joe Dante. Directors included the best in Hollywood including Bob Balaban, Brian Spicer, Ken Kwapis and Tom Holland (Malcolm in the Middle, Freaks & Geeks, Nurse Jackie, Kimmie Schmidt, Tracy Ullman). The big secret? It was intelligent story telling that did not insult kids while also entertaining and challenging adults.
Stories were hilarious and serious at the same time. You have Elvis, who may or may not be the real thing, getting belly laughs in the same episode about a dead kid. You have a funny, obnoxious, smart-aleck punk (Dash X) whom no one will befriend except the anti-hero of the series, the outstanding Marshall Teller. He recognizes Dash for what he is, a lonely, broken soul.
A lot has been made of the short sidedness of the suits who cancelled such a wonderful thing after a single season of 19 episodes. I for one am extremely grateful. While I loved Eerie, Indiana, I am so glad it did not meet the fate of so many of its TV brethren, namely staying on the air beyond its time and sucking to death.
The final episode "Reality Takes A Holiday" directed by the brilliant Ken Kwapis is a masterpiece. Actually you will find it listed as episode 18 of 19 due to bizarre network programming but it was always meant to be the season/series finale. It not only breaks the 4th wall it decimates it with glee while shattering the lines between fantasy and reality. It contains my favorite line of dialogue, ever:
Dash X to Marshall Teller: "I'm just a character on a TV show, I'm no more real than you are!"
God bless Eerie, Indiana and all the lost, broken souls who dwell there. It remains a classic that holds its own against time and is well worth watching. And that goes for all kids aged 2 to 200!