alphaspace Reviews

Bumfights: Cause for Concern (2002 Video)

This is Sick Crap Tis True But I'M LOVING IT!

[10/10 · 28 July 2006]

I brought the movie knowing full well it would contain homeless dope addicts and drunks slugging it out. I live in Baltimore, Maryland and the fights and beat downs you see on this DVD is no worse than anything you see in the wrong parts of Baltimore or in any other major American city. Truth is when the rigid blinder wearing plastic liberal office mice all climb into their nice metal cages, or crawl into subway for their daily scurry back out to the relative safety of the their rich suburban gated communities BRUTAL REALITY REIGN'S ONCE MORE IN THE DARK Foreboding FORGOTTEN CORNERS OF AN INNER CITY. HAPLESS BUMS DRUNKS AND ADDICTS LURK LIKE INNER CITY PIGEONS, ALWAYS IN PLAIN VIEW YET NEVER TRULY NOTICED BY HURRIED DAYTIME SOULS SO ENGROSSED IN FULL MEANINGFUL LIVES THEY FORGET TO CARE! These Bum Fight videos are an unflinching look at the ugly reality of the pathetic lives some people CHOOSE TO LEAD under the cover of urban twilight! Being a total bum is a choice. I am disabled; I once lived on section 8, a tiny disability check, eating free government cheese, butter and such. I was poor but I had my honor and dignity. But I chose to live with dignity; I did not drink, do drugs, or engage in criminal behavior. I spent my money wisely so while I was not rich I survived nicely thank you. You see being poor is not an excuse to become a drunken bum. Being a drunken bum or an addict is a choice a person makes and they alone are responsible for their choice.

Last time I checked no one demands at gun point that a drunk drink himself silly. No one makes a dope addict shoot up. No one makes a crack addict light up. No one forces a crystal methamphetamine freak to destroy themselves. Bum's fight in these DVD's for weird reasons that make sense only if their weird twisted logic is used. Bums fight on these DVD's for the exact same reasons that motivate all the other lame self destructive stupid things homeless people do. Some chronic street people are into a self destructive lifestyle. Some bums enjoy living life on the edge because they like the thrill of cheating death or living life totally on THEIR OWN SELFISH TERMS! The DVD is funny to me only because these bums made their life choices to become dope addicted, homeless, drunken outcasts fodder for this type of DVD. Likewise these bums made their choice to fight and act up for the quick fix offered by a lame prize, pocket change or cheap booze. I would not have made such a decision for myself but, I don't fault others for doing things I would not choose myself. I do not do drugs but if someone else wants to do them I will warn them it is a bad choice and if they still want to be a dope addict I wave goodbye while watching them sail toward a date certain with personal and financial ruin. Bum's have the right to fight in these stupid DVD's for weak prizes if they want to because, of something we call personal freedom. If all the bum fighters in the DVD agree to the terms of the game they have every right to express and display their sick passions however they want.

I have no moral high horse. If all the bums in the DVD agree to fight and the film makers have signed releases from legally competent parties, I say let the games begin. We all know that increasingly what is legal in our free society is seldom moral. I say if you are offended by these DVD's on high tone moral grounds no one is forcing you to buy or watch the DVD's anymore than the bums were forced to take part in making them. If you don't like the bum fight DVD's steer clear of the DVD's do not buy them but, leave those who want to watch these Bum fight DVD's alone. For all legal activities like watching bums fight in a capitalist society, thriving markets exist with patrons aching to buy their vulgar wares.

These DVD's are no worse than watching toothless hillbillies and poor ignorant folk get provoked into staged fighting on the lamest trash TV talk shows. Bring hillbillies, poor blacks and whites to Chicago let them stay in fine hotels for a few days, eat in nice places and all they have to do in return is brawl on TV for a few minutes like the mindless thugs they are. Curse pull out each others weaves, tear off shirts, pants whatever, punch each other into bloody pulp and thereby reinforce the most negative stereotypes of blacks, poor whites in trailer parks and country hill folk. These Bum fight DVD's are just a variation on an ugly theme feeding a need in America for this sort of gritty no holds barred reality entertainment. The Blood lust is not new it goes back to Roman times. The blood lust in America is already wide spread and this Bum fight DVD is just feeding the need and people who hate these Bum Fight DVDS need to just get over it!

Atomic Twister (2002 TV Movie)

This is so Awful its funny.

[1/10 · 28 May 2006]

I can't imagine how this film got the green light under any circumstances. One the plot is so bad I could not make it worse if I tried. Its about a nuclear power plant in a southern locale that gets close to a meltdown because of or in tandem with Tornados.

The thing that makes this movie so bad is it looks as if the nuclear power plant shots were filmed in someones basement. The pipes supposedly carrying radioactive water are way too small. The control room for the power plant look like the family room with a few more computers than normal. The pipes carrying water steam eto this reactor are way to small to fill be part of any reactor system. The door leading to the containment building is laughably small and thin.

If you know anything at all about atomic power this film is hilarious for all the just couldn't happen stuff you see going on in this movie. The movie is stupid. I can not imagine why anyone would want to buy it which is why I suspect AMAZON>COM don't even carry it and you can buy almost any DVD or VHS from them..

Monk (2002–2009)

I Like Adrian Monk... I am VERY MONKish myself.

[1 January 2006]

It would be hard for me to NOT like MONK since I am autistic hence very much like Monk. Unlike MONK whose focus is crime solving, the focus of my world is computers. I simple live to repair and diagnose unique computer challenges. Like Monk I have absolutely no social life at all.

Funny thing is I suffer from many of his same compulsions MOK experiences however I never saw them as "compulsions" before watching this awesome series. I like Monk because he is like a brother to me. If you have a child with High Functioning Autism watch Monk it might give you a few insights into what makes us tick.

Generally MONK is really funny and yet entertaining. Monk is just a little too timid for my tastes but other than that it is a fine series worthy of buying. MONK is on my to buy list for sure. You cannot go wrong with MONK.

Pirates of Silicon Valley (1999 TV Movie)

A Fair Almost Funny Movie But No Big Deal - Geeks Would Love It As I Do!

[7/10 · 31 January 2004]

A Movie The Proves One Should Never Look Under Rocks for FEAR of what might CRAWL OUT! This movie was confused it seemed to be conflicted as if it did not know for sure if it wanted to be a documentary on the rise of the micro-computer or if it was a tale about the personalities behind the scenes of the major software companies versus BIG BLUE/ IBM the once computer mainframe juggernaught.

The movie is a good one but rather schizo in its story telling. Also the ending seems sort of mechanically placed such that you do not really feel any sense of closure. Watching this movie is like trusting someone to take you for a boat ride across a river safely to the other bank and they force you to swim the last ten feet to the shore with no prior warning. I mean the movie was good and very informative loaded with lovely info.

I most love the way it made the young Bill Gates look like a plain grungy old geek who was not all together into cleanliness. Now Bill Gates is just a so stuck up old rich man who lives in a world where so plastic he can do no wrong ever. In this movie its very nice to see Bill Gates portrayed as something that was at one time a feeling human with beings real frailties, shortcomings and real human joys. It was nice to see Bill Gates portrayed as human and not god made me like him a little.

This movie makes one of the Apple founders look like a serious druggie fruitcake. The Apple computer business model showed some early flaws in this movie too which made me feel sorry for them. the movie had one seriously funny moment where Bill Gates offered the DOS Disk Operating System Developer stock in Microsoft or $50,000 and the jerk took the $50,000. Dude could have been a billionaire ga-zillions of times over had he chosen to join the early Microsoft team. I almost cried for that poor dear heart who threw away all that good money in what has to be the dumbest business decision in modern history.

The movie as I say was nice. It taught me a lot and for that I was thankful. I liked the movie but the way it ended left me feeling cheated. They should have played up the AND THE WAR CONTINUES TO THIS DAY ANGLE! which would have been a more fitting end in my most humble opinion. All this movies flaws taken into consideration it is still a fine movie worth buying if you want a history of computers with a little human touch thrown in. There are better histories of the micro computer videos out there done by PBS but this is ok so I gave it a 7 rating. Fair but no big deal.

Eye for an Eye (1996)

If You Like Sally Field You Will Like This Movie

[8/10 · 31 January 2004]

Technically this movie is nothing more than an overly obvious Charles Bronson get them back for doing you wrong movie done by a smart skirt wearing sensible shoes. That said if you LIKE Charles Bronson movies this one meets the need. The criminal is so completely rank, foul and disgusting that he totally fully and completely deserves to die for his crime(s). The plot is way to simple with a dolt for a police detective the justice system fails terribly at putting away an animal who brutally raped this sweet mom's daughter.

Set free by the so called justice system this rape mongering animal goes on to prowl and destroy another trusting lady in her home. He gets jobs as a delivery man for liqour stores, grocers and such so he can get lawful access to his victims homes once inside he becomes a mad man and does his business most foul then murders the ladies. I do not feel so sorry for the second victim as she was warned yet the fool did not listen to the warning instead choosing to let the grocery delivery man \ rapist into her home and she got his final delivery.

Anyway's there are subplots where you get into the family life of the murdered girl. The killer\rapist finds out he is being followed by the first victims mother and confronts her in a most horrid way in front of her remaining younger daughters school yuck. The mom's resolve now stiffened goes and learns how to defend herself physically and with a gun. The Father of the murdered child is a big bumbling wuss or as Drop Dead Fred would say The so called husband in this picture, "IS SUCH A TOTAL AND UTTER GIRL!" Technically calling this husband a girl is a total insult to girls because, some absolutely carniverous ladies would and could snacth a male attackers head off and hand it to him before he died so its a myth if you think all girls are weak timid things trust me.

Not to worry because Sally has it going on in this movie. She figures out the way to get this guy is not by just stalking & killing him. She uses the fact that he likes getting even. The mom visits his ugly nasty rooming house. Once there the murder child's mom tears up the murdering rapist's room. She takes a clay cookie the killer given to him by the mom's remaining daughter. the missing cookie alerting the murdering serial rapist that his first victims mom had again stopped by to visit and give his flop house dwelling that friendly complete tossing only a Real MOM can do justice to.

On cue and totally in character for this kind of sicko he came hunting the mom at her house and the sista was ready for him. Shower running fancy high tone music playing he breaks in, the silly goose. She surprises him a struggle ensues to which she does not look as if she would win when suddenly BLAM BLAM BLAM bad guy suddenly springs three leaks and in his last sick act he falls on top of the victims mother with his ugly bloody messy nasty scrawny self.

The dolt police detective gets his own back as the picture is ending as he tells the victorious mom, I know what you did you set him up and I just want you to know I am aware of it. This said he confers with his other investigators and labels this killing a justifiable homocide the credits roll thats it. I for one loved it. Sally Feilds has a voice that grates on your nerves after a while but she is always sweet and she did good in this film. The movie is nothing special unless you like seeing vile criminals get their just deserts and I rather love this sort of escapism.

Limit Up (1989)

I Loved Limit Up, But I Am Not Normal In ANY WAY & Proud Of It!

[10/10 · 31 January 2004]

Most NOT all but Most so called Good Movies I leave thinking what the hell was that! What did it mean. What were they trying to say. What was the message. I leave most so called Good Movies more confused than words can describe. Granted I am autistic as such lots of what most people do, love and understand including movies usually go right over my head. Hence I am truly blessed when every so often Hollywood let's go of a gem like Limit Up.

This movie is simple with a morality tale of good and evil that is easy to digest and understand. I see so many so called great movies I do not understand for years after I have seen them then suddenly on a long boring trip on the cross town bus I hear fellow passengers talking about the movie describing its meaning in a way I can understand. Once I understand the movie I usually say ewwe, yuck or big deal so what. Must be a normal human thing.

Anyways like I said again this movies plot is not rocket science, its a really cool morality play occurring in the life of a trader on the Chicago Board of Trade commodity futures exchange. She sells her soul to get help being a better trader and is soon tasked to pay up. As the story goes on she learns her lesson. I must admit the very thing most people hated about this story I loved which is it did give me a basic core level understanding of and insight to the world of commodities trading that made me respect the role the Chicago Board of Trade and its activities play in our lives.

Funny thing is I recently visited Chicago and yes because of having seen Limit Up I had to see the Chicago Mercantile Exchange Building which is both huge wide and beautiful. I really enjoyed the movie and worked hard to find it. I finally found Limit Up used on VHS tape at Amazon.com at a cheap price too. You can find almost any movie on Amazon.com in some format. Again this is another case where a movie the Wolf loves the world hates but hey I have long ago accepted that I am a weird ole thing.

Mannequin (1987)

He Was No Johnny Depp & She Was No Dummy, But HE WAS HOLLYWOOD!

[10/10 · 31 January 2004]

This is Another Case Where the Black Actor Stole the Movie. Mannequin started out as another boring little movie about man finds girl. Ok man finds Mannequin has special real time relationship with her only when they are alone. Man ultimately gets girl. Ok it was really nice. The old Egyptian mummy thing was a great start to the movie was a way nice touch too, "Kufu Egypt just after lunch" a hoot that was for sure.

Anyway a gentleman named "Hollywood" the gay black male friend and fellow window dresser at the store where most these adventures happen stole this movie. Hollywood's scenes while stereotypically gay in the worse ways were none-the-less totally funny laugh fests. Hollywood is just a happy go lucky campy queen and part tyme Diva without DIVA-Tude whose sly prose support and comedic timing make this movie. Hollywood adds the spice the intrique and comedic shot in the arm this movie needed to be if not real then at LEAST Real Funny. In this movie I must pronounce Hollywood the last true Diva.

Hollywood was a great friend and a fun person with a heart of gold. The actress that played the Mannequin was a stunning beauty as well. I could see why any man would have loved the Mannequin as she was always a nice caring warm wonderful friend in here animated moments. By the time the movie was ending you totally wanted both Mannequin and husband to live happily ever after, <knock on wood!> Patented Evil-Wolf-Grin. Our Gay Diva Hollywood's greatest scene in the movie comes near the end of the movie as well when you see his car... and most notabily the car cover they are collectively a scream.

The movie is filled with all the expected weird wild crazy crackpot straight laced bisuness men, odd characters, pathetic boob detectives, animals and such to be most excellent filler. The movie has a simple plot that you won't need to have explained here as it is far from rocket science. All the characters in the movie do a good job in adding demension to the movie. Is this movie an Oscar calliber production definately NO WAY!. This movie is just a nice movie you can safely let your brain curl itself up around on a day when you do not plan to do much thinking and you just want to relax not be surprised laugh a little and eat bon bons, pop corn and the odd slice of pizza fresh or stale.

I, Claudius (1976)

A Meassage As Fresh Today As It Was When This Series Was Made

[10/10 · 31 January 2004]

This is A Tale Told By A Man Smart Enough To Remain A Fool In A Corrupt Rome Where Smart Men Were Marked For Death! I Claudius is a tale told of accient Rome when it was all that and all roads led there. This was a PBS Series ages ago when this middle aged Wolf was a wee cub. Claudius was disabled in rome. He stammered in his speech and was slow in responding to the world around him. He also had a unique walk such that he was obviously disabled and back then because he was slow and different he was considered stupid. Claudius was anything but stupid turns out. Claudius was smart enough to work the prejudices of the ruling classes such that he made them so comfortable with his supposed dull wittedness that they began commiting the most horrid banal carnal and criminal intriques right before his very eyes.

Let me tell you there were intriques a plenty too. There was more back stabbing, killing, lying, murdering, duplicity, letchery, dibotchery, stealing, incest and every other brand or flavor of sin all going on with Claudius standing in its midst to rival that seen in the most corrupt corporation today. I Claudius depicts a corrupt degenerate Rome where Senators were for sale to the highest bidder. Claudius lived in a land where the people were dumb sheep easily lead to the slaughter pawns used in wars that made the nobles rich as poor folk spilled their blood in ill conceived campaigns based on lies.

I Claudius was much like governments of today filled with all corrupting intriques and selfish power mad people corporations wanting everything, Senators and political officials for sale to the man with the fattest wallet. All the while Claudius sat there taking it all in and in effect writing it all down. Claudius proved the Roman Empire did not just fall and it was not pushed. No I Claudius proves The Roman Empire fell because it tripped on its own tattered robes of arrogant consuming self interested contempt of everyone and everything else.

I Claudius has a message as true when it was made as it is today. The more the world changes in technology the more the world stays the same. I Claudius proves the demons living within the heart of the human animal are not brand new they are as new as tomorrow and at the same time old as the corrupt dying Roman Empire of his time. I think I Claudius is a lesson every modern day person should learn.

The Missiles of October (1974 TV Movie)

Simply One of the MOST Compelling Movie Play's EVER!

[10/10 · 31 January 2004]

I find this movie now on DVD one of the most compelling works of art it has ever been my pleasure to behold. This movie is from the less is more school. No high tech camera angles and silly special effects get in your way here. No stupid insipid love story tangles its way through the plot where some couple must give you today's obligatory R Rated steamy love scene at some point when you just wished the action would go on. This movie is just cold hearts, raw nerves, hardened steal will's of both sides exposed in abundance as the world of the early 1960's creeped toward thermonuclear oblivion in the Cuban Missile Crisis.

Brinksmanship and a world tittering on the brink of a testosterone cliff a fall from which guranteed no return to life as it existed before is what this movie was about. Missiles of October is told in a play format. The sets are obviously sets so you do not waste your time on the decorations of the people or the places. You simply are given a reference of where you are by the set. The real action is the dialogue the intrique in the tangled the goings on. This movie works on a level of raw emotion. The missiles of October is a movie stripped bare of the heavy syrup and confectionary sugar laden movies of today. The Missiles of October does not spoon feed the audience each moment of their movie experience till only one rather inexcapable formulalic conclusion offered by the screen writer can be reached.

The Cuban Missile Crisis was a series of mis-steps wrong judgement calls and finally at the 11th hour some common sense where. In this movie both sides The Soviet Union and the United States had to get off their high horses and admit we together do not want to end human kinds existence as a species on this earth and take almost every other living thing with us as we exit. The fact that the set's look deliberately cheesy and the acting is done as a play just makes the truly superior acting stand out and grab you all that much more. Oh to say I was pleased with The Missiles of October is to dabble in understatement up past your neck for I in all ways loved it such that I can not be without two copies of this in my home. One to watch and one to keep in a safe fire resistant place. The Missile's of October blew me away because it is true, this happened in real life. I was just a baby at the time but I lived through this time. This movie in play format is awesome because the acting was first rate and people this was high drama life or death stakes would have affected all of us had it gone wrong because it was all real life baby and no movie gets any better than that in my humble opinion.

Oh and its like way educational too so buy this one its one of the WOLF's major must haves like number one on my serious subjects list.

Galaxy Quest (1999)

Life Imitates Art Imitating Life

[10/10 · 6 January 2004]

A great Sci-Fi show is cancelled killed in its prime but kept going by loyal fans still living and reliving the show in re-runs and conventions. An Alien race mistakenly considers signals carrying the wild exploits of this sci-fi show to be historical documentation seeks help with their galatic issues.

Well they get the help alrighty just not in the way they expect. These mothballed morribound actors cruising the re-run convention circuit now confortable sort of opening big box computer super stores to hordes of frantic nerds, geek's and geekette's are called into action. The alien culture creates a working model of the once fictional star ship accurate to the historical documents down to the last detail.

The crew of the TV starship is hi-jacked ahh Recruited to reprize their fictional roles now in the real star ship against real aliens and issues. Well here is the time old has been stars do whats right for the galaxy learn a few valuable insights about themselves and have fun poking fun at old skool sci-fi TV shows all at the same time.

The ribbing of other old sci fi shows is constant. The pace is kind of slow in places. The movie over all is well done with sort of convincing special effects. If you are sitting someone with an hour or so to waste this is a good way to do so. This movie is what I call a break even deal it does not promise much but neither does it ask for much. Just let your tongue hang out power up the star drive engines and take a ride to silly land.

The Nude Bomb (1980)

Sometimes A Movie Seeks To Be Nothing More Than Simple Inane Fun!

[6 January 2004]

Come on now, sometimes a movie seeks to be nothing more than simple inane fun! as is the case with The Nude Bomb. Let's face it you know going in this movie is farce it's just an enjoyable way to spend time you wanted desperately to waste anyway.

A movie about a dude in plumb paisley that wants to rule the world by creating a bomb that renders the world totally nude. Making the way clear for him to inflict his warped fashion sense on a now naked world get a grip its just fun. On the face of it the plot and the developer of the Nude Bomb sounds deliciously stereo-typical gay wanting to force feed a naked world his sense of high tone fashion.

However the movie is set in the hopelessly weird world of Control Agent number 86 Maxwell Smart and thats weirder than anything in gay life let me tell you. Max has to stop the nude bomb terror threat because, let's face it if the world was suddenly plunged into being seen in, "the all together", all the failings and small wonders of human civilization will be "exposed". Just think of the ugliest person you know now imagine you looking right at them when the first Nude Bomb hits... Yuck, gag me with a spoon. Now that I have you in a playful mood go buy the Nude Bomb movie and count your blessings if Agent 86 saves us from the Nude Bomb fright.

Of course the Nude Bomb would be great for the makers of Sport Utility Vehicle's if some men had to walk about nude because immense size and number of SUV's needed to rebuild shattered male ego's around the world would be huge.

Oh, God! (1977)

Good Clean Awesome Fun with a message of hope.

[10/10 · 6 January 2004]

Good clean awesome fun with a message of hope that is a tear jerker at the end. Every so often it helps to be grounded in those basic things that truly matter in life well this movie does that for me. This movie makes you feel good after watching it if you demand more than that from a movie get something else.

The Matrix (1999)

Fast Paced AWESOME, Nice concept

[10/10 · 1 January 2004]

This movie is fast paced and awesome. Of course there were tons of new special effects but unlike some movies where it seemed the writers were told write the movie around the special effects the Matrix is different. The MATRIX uses the special effects magic to tell a story. Never not once does this this movie let you catch your breath. There are no long ponderous dialogues or dry spots in this movie that allow you to think about mundane things of your life like did you feed the cat, will you mow the lawn this afternoon or tomorrow as you watch this movie.

No this movie rips you out of your seat by your throat and once it grabs you it simply does NOT let you go and thats its charm and claim to fame. The movie is fast paced, action with a strong plot supporting it, the cuts be they of action or dialogue are fast paced information cramed bits you must almost work to collect in keeping up with the movie. You don't just sit down turn off your brain and let the Matrix happen to you. The Matrix like few other movies I have seen in recent times fully engages your senses in a most visceral and primal manner. I liked the Matrix it was refreshing to see a concept so well executed in movie form. The DVD version is nice too lots of cool stuff and the picture quality was first rate.

To Sir, with Love (1967)

A Beautiful Movie Full Of Hope

[10/10 · 3 September 2001]

This is simply a beautiful movie made even more special for the time it was produced in the midst of the most hostile times of the civil rights movement. To Sir With Love is a movie set in the mid 60's at a run down inner city high school and it's pure awesome. To Sir With Love is a tear jerker tale of a strong black man's trials by fire learning himself as a teacher who helps troubled teen aged kids grow up, learn lessons and grow into strong solid adults.

Now by todays standards these kids are angels any teacher would ache to have in their classes as their is not a car jacker, herion freak, crack whore or psycho gun crazy in the whole lot of them. Naw this was back in the day where student thugs carried switch blades, stole cars to joy ride, drank beer on the way to school, harrassed everyone who was not cool enough to be them and showed a genuine abiding disrespect to all authority and, people over 30 years old. While this movie is not exactly leave it to beaver in its wholesomeness its pretty close by todays standards alrighty.

No this movie is not a factual look into school violence or, teen mischeif and mayham. This movie is about how a strong black man with honor sets out to make the world a better place than it was when he found it. This movie is more inspiration than sensational. The main theme song was cut and released as a stand alone song sung by a person named Lulu when the movie was released.

You definately should treat yourself to this one.

The Right Stuff (1983)

Ewwwwwe Gag Me With A SpewMoon!

[1/10 · 18 August 2001]

It takes real skill and, daring and, a level of sophistication totally unknown to me to take anything as interesting and, dynamically action packed as the US space program and, distill it down to the searingly boring mindlessly plodding long winded un-interesting, over blown and lack luster thing the Right Stuff is from beginning to that prayed for moment when the last ending credit rolls off the screen.

If you look at my movie comments you will find rarely to I totally pan a movie for being bad. Basically I feel I will talk only about those movies that uplift me and what I consider junk or dreck hey somebody else might like it so who am I do deny them their pleasure.

BUT the with this movie The Right Stuff no this is profoundly different. I grew up on the space program I was all of like 10 years old when man landed on the moon. I loved NASA. I stayed up morning noon and night watching the moon launches on TV sometimes with my mothers permission some times without. I take my Man on the Moon history seriously. The moon shots of the 60's inspired me I enjoyed them as a moment of high adventure and drama that for a few brief moments in the time of man on earth brought us all together as on people. The moon shots were totally cool. For the reasons specified above how dare they make such a nasty banal movie about the American Space Program that is so dry and so painfully devoid of any excitement.

I have never hated a movie more than this one. I am lucky I did not get to see it when it played on the big screen. I rented it as a video and, still felt cheated having forked out 2 dollars to see that dreck. The producers of the Right Stuff should play the viewer to watch it. The armed services and, CIA should use the right stuff to ware down the resistance of enemies of the United States by making them watch it again and, again. I am not kidding after the fourth time watching the right stuff were I a criminal I would be spilling secrets right and, left talking like a magpie.

Since I feel I must be balanced even The Right Stuff has one redeeming value and to be fair I must share it with you. The right stuff did show you some behind the scenes stuff about how one becomes an astronought at that time that was interesting.

You could also always buy this movie as a gag gift or a special something for that person in your life you have to buy a gift because it's expected and, yet you love having him or her. Buy that person you love to hate a copy of the Right Stuff I am sure they will never forget that act of kindness. <EG>

Topper (1937)

The MADCAP antic's of one Cosmo P. Topper Stuffy Banker "I Loved It"

[10/10 · 18 August 2001]

Two stock holders in a bank that loved living it up, real posh social folk used to living the life in the fast lane snag the BIG Detour, as their car misses a hairpin turn and crashes killing both of them. They having committed no particularly good or bad deed are in purgatory limbo caught between heaven and, earth thus existing as ghosts here.

They are charged to do one good deed. With that the object on their road to salvation becomes their former banker and friend Cosmo P. Topper. Cosmo a quiet shy hen pecked little man of respect and dignity in social circles that count in his community has a trappy motherly sort of wife who has a funny voice that simply cannot be duplicated in this film.

The ghosts act to make Cosmo Topper a changed man a person more real more free and open which yet he still remained plenty respectable a person given by today's measures of morality given the standards of the world when this film was made. Cosmo is thrust unwillingly into one mad cap adventure after another until the poor dear was numb. He became more free simply because these two ghost unable to give up their wild party lifestyle dragged poor topper with them wherever they went.

That's not to say Topper was a hostage. Oh no far from it Cosmo Topper genuinely enjoyed his new found party life drinking pink ladies, a alcoholic drink swooshing down sliding boards to enter trendy night spots, watching floor shows oh Topper was living it up. Oh yes Topper was a reluctant but willing accomplice in his own undoing. As the party life went on a more and more disturbed Mrs. Cosmo P. Topper grew concerned as she watched her mouse of a grow in self confidence. I could tell you more of the plot but won't get it on VHS or DVD yourself its awesome.

I will say that the music is so totally hot in this movie providing you like big band music. Old Man Moon is Particularly good. The whole movie is sweet. It has a little mystery in it some intrigue but its always light and gay. The movie has what I consider a sweet tearjerker ending that is only really meaningful if you watch the film from beginning to end.

This film was a product of the HAL ROACH studios and, all the trick photography you saw in this film was all done in the camera via technical means. This was a real ground breaking bit of FX technology for its day. You also get to see the actor who played Dagwood Bumstead at a very early age as the elevator dude in this film. Mergatroids the man was still a pup.

I have this one in my collection and I treasure it. I love old movies more than most of the new stuff. This movie is just good clean innocent fun. If you want sex and, naked bodies thrust so close up into your face you can see their skin cells devide this movie is not for you. If ou like a fun movie that makes you laugh at snootty upper crust posh folk of a bygone era then this movie is all that. The time is set in the distant past by todays standards but zanny people never change see this movie for yourself to see why.

Sunset Boulevard (1950)

Not until now have I ever Laughed so hard, learned so much & been so moved!

[10/10 · 16 August 2001]

This was the best of Gloria Swanson ever. Sunset Blvd was the best dark comedy meets real life picture I have ever seen bar none. Norma Desmond aging has been actress long lost from the modern stage sits going ever so quietly insane in a huge mansion that serves as here self imposed creaking prison complex. Surrounded by lavish furnishings in a one time architecturally masterful home that while still unique and beautiful are now aged crumbling threadbare relics of a bygone era much as is their mistress. Poor dear Norma has but one fan left an equally pathetic hanger on. A man in name only who clings to aging film star Norma Desmond hoping his acting career gets a much needed jump start. They both use each other much the way a Remora clings near the mouth of a shark in hopes of enjoying bits of food that steam past as the shark feeds. Norma whose star has long ago cooled into a pile of solid iron covering an even colder neutronium core has no life giving food to share with her mercenary paramour. So both Norma Desmond and, her toy boy do what all parasites in co-dependant relationships do eventually.... They feed off each other and, last one left standing in this case gets an imaginary close up taken by non-existent camera's as crowds of adoring fans cheer if only between Norma's ears. Her savvy bo has taken a dip in the pool which he entered as he did the relationship with Norma eyes wide open blinded by his lust to what she was.

This was an awesome story quite ahead of its time. Brutally funny but real and eerie. This one makes you think even when you do not want to. There is a little Norma Desmond in us all. The want of things out of reach that lust to have just a little more time in the sun before our inevitable twilight engulfs us. Life for Norma Desmond is a shroud that only she does not see she is wearing it.

This is a must own DVD or video get the DVD when it becomes available.

Soap (1977–1981)

More than An Updated Addams Family These People WERE Awesomely WEIRD!

[15 August 2001]

SOAP is this hilarious serialized saga about two completely Zany sisters and, their madcap families were awesome. This show from day one never ever took itself seriously and that's its greatest claim to fame. Soap dealt bluntly and honestly about a great many pressing social issues like homosexuality, veterans, treatment of the mentally ill.... of course it also in the same breath dealt with rubber suit wearing space aliens and, psycho's with wood puppet fixations.

SOAP for as madcap as it was has a heart of gold. The whole family is welded together in a very unique but strong love. I am a gay man and yet I loved Jessica Tate she was a woman of utter charm and, bearing and she was as off and ditzy but sweet as Gracie Allen. Burns & Allen I would have loved having Jessica Tate as a mom. SOAP was a perfect fusion of the Addams family and the Three Stooges meet Dallas. When I was young SOAP was another of my hiding places on the TV landscape.

SOAP had great moments of fun but SOAP could easily as well be moving and thought provoking. You just can't go wrong buying these tapes you will definitely laugh and, you will learn many things and, get many awesome insights as well! These too are on my highly recommended list of must see items.

Bless Me, Father (1978–1981)

A TOTAL AND UTTER COMEDY BLAST!, This is what got me hooked on PBS Brit Com

[11 August 2001]

This show was about Catholic Saint Jude < Patron Saint of Hopeless Cases > Parish life in a small suburban London town set in the early 1950's.

People wrongly label this show as one of true interest to those who hold dear the Catholic faith. I am a born cradle to grave Baptist never been anything but what Father Duddellswell would call a Protestant. I a born if not practicing Baptist love this show about Catholic life its funny filled with insights of a kinder gentler time. Father Boyd is a heart warming earnest man wanting so much to please God in the doing of his tasks as a Curate as his dry humor remains a perfect comedic foil to the wild Godly humane but irascible Father Charles Duddellswell. The good Doctor Day who one never sees sober in the whole series always brings his good cheer. The show is filled with tons of old Irish sayings; such as you were walking on both sides of the road when you came here. Ladies wearing blouses with necklines cut wider than a ducks wake. There's no future in the Past, Vexed as an Irish stew or a Woman's Motives and, lots more. Your eyes are already glassy, as teddy bears, May God Be In your Road, Always keep more up your sleeve than your elbow and more. Then there's Mother Stephen a saintly woman myopically set on the taking point position in her orders single minded mission of making the Mother Foundress of the order a saint. Mother Stephan has a face that looks as if its set in cast iron but she too is a kind caring if stern soul. Mother Foundress had some stern rules witch still govern their order. Mother Foundress who one sees really only in one episode in a painting seems a very severe and stern woman holding a human SKULL yikes!

This show is just good clean fun. I do not think it's awesome... I do not think it's dated at all the sets look real. The people seem real and genuine. This show has heart real heart. I guess the show will never feel dated to me because Father Charles Duddellswell proves you can be a bit of a rascal and, have fun at being a very good and, upstanding spiritual man. If only more spiritual types were like Father Duddellswell and, Father Boyd our world would be an awesome place.

Are You Being Served? (1972– )

PURE AWESOME

[11 August 2001]

I have seen every episode in this show at least 10 or more times for sure. So let me tell you the sets are by today's standards cardboard like the, props sort of dated.

BUT that said you would be a fool to let that stop you from seeing this awesome example of Double Entendre! taken to the highest comedic extremes. No other show is so packed with things that on the surface suggest daily life that one who has an active mind easily finds a more gutter snipe meaning to what was said.

A perfect example follows where Mrs. Slocumbe was talking to a truck driver on the road via CB radio from the Grace Brothers store. Mrs. Slocumbe an avid feline lover and, owner has a cat named tiddles. She is constantly on the hunt for a man like a British Sadie Hawkins this guy was a hot prospect seeing he too sounded keen on her. Mrs. Slocumbe regales the truck driver with all her home spun skills and loves... you hear the truck driver obviously in the midst of driving his big rig as Mrs. Slocumbe begins telling the truck driver of her pussy <cat> and how it wins a prize every time she shows it. You hear the wheels lock and, screech as dude looses control of his rig and, the connection is broken. Not to mention she was dressed as a punk rocker in a rainbow Amazon woman outfit when talking to the man.

Whey was she in the punk rocker garb well. Well this just a hint of the funny things you will find on this show... You just have to get the videos DVD's whatever's available but one thing for sure you will never ever be sorry you did.

Keeping Up Appearances (1990–1995)

Hyacinth inisist's that all things be simply the best & her show IS!

[7 August 2001]

All words fail to adequately describe our Hyacinth. To say she is a totally consumed, self important, myopic social climber is to be meek in one's definition. But our Hyacinth is also sweet in her own odd way. Hyacinth honestly wants to do good by and for all but she just wants to be seen be all the right people while in the midst of doing it. Her friends love her despite the fact that Hyacinth requires her friends to be long suffering and, selfless in their love of her. Hyacinth's son Sheridan who is suspected to be totally gay to everyone but her while off at University calls home constantly to his doting mommy and cash cow dad. She makes the post man, the power & light dude, tradesmen, heck all visitors to her home go through tons of changes like remove their shoes at the door. Hyacinth was just like my mother so I love her. Hyacinths family was awesome ranging from her one sister whose husband is a cross dressing turf accountant to Daisy whose husband is a Big bone idle man with a great heart and, a car thats s joke.

This is a awesome show from the UK and, the best imported show we here in the US have ever been graced with. If you love laughing till your sides hurt this is the show you must have.

Steel Magnolias (1989)

The BEST of them all

[10/10 · 14 July 2001]

I loved everything about this movie simply the best if you changed one thing you would destroy its meaning. I rarely suggest things are an absolute MUST HAVE! THIS MOVIE IS AN ABSOLUTE TOTAL UTTER MUST HAVE FOR REASONS TOO COMPLEX FOR ME TO EXPLAIN HERE YOU JUST HAVE TO SEE IT!

This movie should have been Best Picture in the year it was released!

The Big Bus (1976)

The Ultimate In Cheezzy Sets Pridictable Jokes and Lame Dialogue!

[6/10 · 14 July 2001]

That said The BIG BUS is just interesting enough to make you never want to turn it off once you start watching it. The BIG BUS is insidicous in its nature. The BIG BUS lures you into its silly mindless plot. The BIG BUS is not about serious movie making or production values or, deeper meanings. It almost seems someone had a few weeks to kill in Hollywood and a bit of unexposed film laying about and, a few favors to call in from industry friends and, the BIG BUS was the result of that otherwise shared idle time. For a film that aspired to so little its odd they hit the mark. To say this film is chewing gum for the eyes would suggest it had hidden in it some posh deep seeded ideal which it doesn't. The BIG BUS far from being chewing gum for the eyes is more like cotton candy for the eyes. Like Cotton Candy the Big BUS is just sticky and messy enough to get you caught up in it but the whole time your brain is finding new and heitherfore unexplored depths to the meaning of the words stuck in neutral gear. You should watch the BIG BUS for the same reason you eat Cotton Candy. The BIG BUS is the movie you want to see when you just want to spend time focusing your energy on the active art of enjoying an experience that too soon melts in your mind becoming nothing but a nagging memory in its all too sweet but crowded hour!

Movin' On (1974–1976)

A Series About Being A Long Haul Independent Trucker

[14 July 2001]

This was a series about the trials and tribulations of being a long haul over the roads independent trucker. The core role was played convincingly by a rather cummudeonly but still emminately likable Cluade Atkins. The set of Movin On was effectively the open road and all the interesting people and places connected by it.

I think this show was lavishly produced and tried to be very authentic to the world it tried to depict. This show might not have been the ER of its day but even now Moving On is still a charming deversion on a day where you just want a bit of enjoyable wholesome chewing gum for the eyes.

I did rather like the series as it did show a slice of life and I like / needed such shows to aid in my evolving understanding of society. Moving On did follow the formula of a series where the main character was placed in all the predictable scapes a trucker could get into and you watched as he got out of them without being a ripe stinker. The plot lines were exactly as you expected and this show contained few plot surprises. I must admit I was a severely disabled kid who looked forward to seeing this show every week. Thanks to Moving On I came as close as I could to seeing what it was really like to really drive a huge 18 wheel truck over the open roads. I guess for me Movin On will always be a blast in my books! Thanks for the time behind the wheel dude!

Great Catherine (1968)

A Super Russian Sized Dose Of Off Beat Movie for all of you my Little Angel Mother's & Father Darlings!

[10/10 · 14 July 2001]

This is an off beat movie against which you can measure all others my little cherubs, my little angels, my little white ducks. Yes this one is Zanny, Odd, Wild and, quite well done. The Music is so awesome to it I'd love to have a soundtrack. The sets are lavish and, the people wild. Unlike the Soviet era russians these guys and, ladies could rock they knew how to throw a party.

This is another of the movies I love that has no moral at the end its just fun to watch. But unlike other mindless movies this movie does at least engage you on a few different levels of throught. Potemkin is the best act in the whole movie as he stays politically drunk through the whole picture. If it were available on video or DVD I would say its a must have but alas the folk that make these decisions has not released it on DVD / video yet.... When they do you should order yours right away so you can be in line right after me.