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brawny64
Reviews
Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (2003)
Dollar for dollar, the worst movie ever made.
$120,000,000 down the drain.
It's an action movie that's not exciting, a parody that's not funny, and an adventure that's not adventurous. It is a mystery - a mystery that anyone would like it. It even lack sex appeal.
Maybe McG needs to work on TV with a much smaller budget and less famous actors. He clearly can't get anything from the "angels" who seem more interested in laughing than acting. This movie cements their reputations (and Demi Moore's also) as truly bad actors. I don't feel bad for any of them.
I don't know about Bernie Mac. Is he that bad, or does he just get horrible roles? The best actors in the first film were Bill Murray and Tom Green. In the second? John Cleese and Matt LeBlanc. This is not what you want.
There are several random cameos throughout, not unlike the random plot itself. Much of the movie is a string of T&A, music, pyrotechnics and CG action. It truly is one extremely long music video - like Thriller would look like if created by two monkeys and an ATM machine.
I thought the $92 million "original" was bad, but the sequel managed to be about $28 million worse. Maybe someday, someone will make a film about how McG got $200 million to make two movies after directing a couple of popular music videos.
It could be worse, though - "Charlie's Angels 3: One Last Job"
Equilibrium (2002)
Seriously, a 7.7 ???
Every once in awhile, a movie comes along that seems to have all of the proper ingredients to succeed, yet when combined, the film flops. This movie appears to be the opposite.
It combines watchable, if not accomplished, actors; overly familiar characters and plotlines; and the requisite slick production values.
And the people love it!
Actually, the movie combines elements from Fahrenheit 451, Brave New World, 1984, Brazil and others - all wrapped up in the mandatory Woo/Matrix style of today.
Let me put it another way. If Kurt Wimmer were to "borrow" from as many music influences using the latest Napster clone as he does with movies, the RIAA would have him lynched.
I don't know why ideas are recycled every time there is a new cinematic movement. (Wow! Color! Soundtracks! Revisionist history! CGI!) Let's do it over, but fix it up or dumb it down for a new generation.
I don't know who is voting, but please read a book or watch a movie from before you were born.
Ancient Evil: Scream of the Mummy (2000)
Truly horrible...
It appears the director did not max out the Visa card.
There is no acting or directing to speak of in this movie. The plot was lame, the effects were bad, and it has the fattest mummy I have ever seen. It looks like the entire cast and crew hopped into a small bus, bought $100 worth of supplies, rode up to the director's house and filmed this in one night.
One other thing. No matter how many times the mummy slashed someone, they ended up with the same splotch on their chest. I don't know why I noticed this.
The real victims, however, were the viewers. Luckily(?) I saw it on HBO, so I didn't directly pay for it.
Oh, the horror.
Memento (2000)
Not in the Top 10 !!!!!!!!!!!
Memento is a very good film.
Christopher Nolan has crafted one of the best films of the last couple years. It has many things going for it. The concept was clever and consistent, the editing was sharp, and through most of the film you could almost empathize with Leonard and his "condition".
However, it is not the ninth best film of all time. I'm not positive that Nolan is a big Hitchcock fan, but he should be thrilled that Memento is ranked above every one of Hitchcock's films.
If you don't appreciate the plot devices, you probably won't like the film. You are actually forced to connect with Leonard, follow the notes and solve the mystery, because there is nothing else for you to do or see.
The characters, scenery and plot are all secondary. Without the devices, it would look like a tame NYPD Blue episode. To keep your attention from finish to start, nothing is unintentionally given away. To accomplish this, the places and people Leonard sees are limited in number as well as range, and hints are parceled out sparingly from scene to scene.
If you take everything into consideration, M. Night Shyamalan's The Sixth Sense is a more complete recent film with some of the same qualities. Christopher Nolan deserves much acclaim for Memento, but it shouldn't be among the greatest of all time.
Shrek (2001)
Could have been, but wasn't.
Before getting around to viewing Shrek, I waited until much of the hype and product tie-ins faded. (This took a bit of time. Luckily, I was able to see Final Fantasy and Monsters, Inc.)
On the surface, it seemed to have the potential to stand out in a less-than-exciting year. The films creators assembled a core of quality actors to provide voices, the music sounded familiar, it looked like the animation was top notch, and it even had a catchy name.
I have to say I was mostly disappointed. Mostly.
Shrek attempted to work on many levels at once, but as usually happens with films that try to be all things to all people, it was never able to sustain any momentum. It seemed to randomly appease parts of its target audience. There also were major shifts in plot direction during the course of the film.
The plot was simplistic and predictable, the characters under-developed and disposable, and the music placement questionable at best. It's as if they amassed several of the basic elements that create good films, threw them into a giant pot, and hoped the stew tasted good. I'd hate to think that this much effort was wasted.
This being said, I suppose it was the best animated-parody-comedy-musical-romance-action-fantasy-parable-family movie of the year.
I guess it was unfair to see a Simpsons episode prior to viewing.
I am glad, however, that it was the greatest film many people have ever seen. Quite a Blockbuster moment to be sure.