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Reviews
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
Despite Hype A Most Hollow Ring to It
I defy anyone to sit through this almost 3 hour piece of tripe without thinking of euthanasia.
It is pretentious, complicated and the last hour is almost unbearably confused.
But don't take my word for it. Read the CNN movie review critic. He (or she) thinks LOR is the greatest movie ever. But of course he/she draws a salary from AOL Time Warner who have much to lose if LOR bombs as it will. They produced it.
Trust me on this. Shrek was better
3000 Miles to Graceland (2001)
Kurt and Kevin have left the business
After this huge dollop of collective vanity the names of Kurt Russell and Kevin Costner won't be around for much longer. Well, not above the title.
Courtney Cox is luckier. She has "Friends" to fall back on.
Where exactly do aging leading men go to hide after they use their once-potent image to get finance for a movie that ranks among the worst ever that has, could-have-had, nearly-had or should've-had the words "Las Vegas" in the title. Instead of Graceland.
One day, if they haven't already, Russell and Costner will have grandchildren. "3,000 miles to Graceland" will be expunged from memory when they reach movie-going age and ask, "Name all your 15 best films grandaddy?"
But I do recommend "3,000 smiles from Iceland" a 1932 documentary shot on a shoestring by Stygvie Thortstensonsson recounting that epic moment at exactly 12:32pm on August 14, 1926 when the sun shone for the first time since 1922 on that desolate northern land, best known these days for transatlantic airline emergency landings to arrest passengers accused of air rage.
Pearl Harbor (2001)
Ben Affleck's Hair by Bal Harbor
The Dumbing of America continues unabated.
If it goes on like this three generations from now no-one will know what really happened during any of the key events in our nation's history.
My attention flagged watching "Saving Private Ryan" when Tom Hanks and his men silenced the enemy and captured Omaha Beach a full 15 minutes after landing.
In "Pearl Harbor" my attention never got a chance to kick-in. From the very beginning it just knew this was going to be a dumb movie. And it was. For the longest time I concentrated, I really did, trying to remember the words to "From Here to Eternity" but it didn't work. I fell asleep.
Conspiracy (2001)
More like a Tire Company Board Meeting
In this age of political correctness no movie (made for TV otherwise) could ever hope to come even close to capturing the true depravity of the people described in this film.
So once again we are treated to a conflict between 'cute yet ruthless Nazis' and 'deeply troubled but finally overruled Nazis'.
Nor could any writer remotely approach using the real words of the actual beasts who reached the decision this film purports to cover.
So is the movie worth seeing? Yes, most definitely.
For Kenneth Branagh's masterful group leader (hair and make-up by David Bowie's little helpers) who knows from the start he'll get his way.
And instead of murderous butchers -- which these mainly-English actors simply aren't -- imagine this to be a 2001 board meeting somewhere in Ohio where the CEO of a major rubber company persuades everyone to agree not to recall millions of defective tires.
The Pledge (2001)
When a movie runs out of story
This could have been a great movie.
Superb acting by everybody (worth seeing just for the cleaned-up Mickey Rourke) sensitive direction and beautiful camera work. Unfortunately after the "pledge" in the title is asked for (which takes 3 times longer than it should've) it's all downhill from there.
The Freidrich Durrenmatt novel on which this movie is based wasn't broken. So why fix it?
At 30 minutes shorter and remaining true to Durrenmatt's original story this might have been a classic.
Ill Gotten Gains (1997)
Truthfulness instead of Hollywood political correctness
I didn't see this movie during its theatrical release but heard much about it and now I've been able to screen it on video.
Although obviously produced on a low budget - which actually adds to the simple honesty of the presentation -- it is one of the most searing filmed accounts of the greatest human tragedy ever perpetrated. Namely slavery.
If you want a Hollywood stereotypical version of racial injustice this is not for you. "Amistad" which also purported to be about an uprising on a slave ship was nothing more than a courtroom drama in the Perry Mason style with angry looking African Americans and the mandatory sympathetic white man.
In "Ill Gotten Gains" you feel the real shame and degredation endured by the captives. And the perverse power enjoyed by the captors.
The movie while not a box office success -- how could it be through reopening this, our nation's most shameful secret -- should be seen by youngsters of all races to get a truthful, unblemished and authentic account of this inglorious stain in our history books.