- David: [after catching Kurt acting suspiciously with his laptop again] You weren't Pornhubbing from the office again, were you?
- Gemma: You have to eat the toppings, Cady, not just the bread.
- [Cady defiantly removes her toppings and shoves the bare pizza slice into her mouth]
- Gemma: You just did the one thing I asked you not to do.
- M3gan: Research shows that if you force a child to eat vegetables, then they'll be less likely to choose those foods as adults.
- Gemma: [slightly annoyed] Is that so?
- M3gan: Yes. Experts say the preferred method is to give your child the choice, it's called the division of responsibility...
- [Gemma aims the remote at M3gan and turns down her volume, drowning out the remainder of her lecture]
- M3gan: [singing] I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose / Fire away, fire away / Ricochet, you take your aim / Fire away, fire away / Shoot me down, but I won't fall / I am titanium...
- M3gan: [singing to Cady] If you should feel alone or that your world has come apart / Just reach out and you'll see a friend is never very far / Tell me your dreams and I'll dream them, too / I'm so glad I finally found you.
- Gemma: [commercial voice-over] With Megan around, she'll take care of the little things, so you can spend more time doing the things that matter.
- [sits on the couch with her laptop and watches TV]
- M3gan: [Unrated Version while pinning Gemma to the table by her neck and Cady looking through the door] If she comes in this room, I'll rip your head right off your fucking neck, I swear to God.
- Singer: It's nice to have a friend...
- Gemma: Are you kidding me? Her arm looks like a dentist's mold!
- Officer Carter: She says he was provoked...
- Gemma: Provoked? Have you seen this dog? It is a *monster!* I'm chasing it off of my property every other day!